In the past, I was a simp to my first boyfriend, even though he turned out to be a horrible guy. After he broke up with me and school was cancelled due to the covid outbreak, I started explore around on Discord in late 2020.
I found a guy from Georgia who had common interests to me and wanted to meet, but kept pressuring me into going out with him. I did like him, but wanted to get to know each other more. When I opened up to him about past struggles, he blocked me. I was upset and cried to my friend about it. He was put off by the crying tantrum I had over the guy blocking me and I ended up directing that anger towards him instead of where it needed to go.
He got angry with me and didn't talk to me for days. In another desperate attempt to find someone to speak to, I ended up meeting a UK guy. I really liked him a lot, where I was ready to fly to him. I told my friend about him and he didn't seem too crazy about me talking to the guy, but wished me the best.
I talked to the UK guy for months. Video chatted and texted everyday, even did sleep calls and watched movies together. We were going to meet, but I messed it all up due to insecurities and personal issues.
Lastly, my ex boyfriend gave me an apology for how he treated me. I was so happy. He wanted me to go to the new state he moved to. I was ecstatic and kind of cut my current boyfriend off to catch up with ex. I was ready, then ex boyfriend shows his true colors..
With my current boyfriend, if we even discuss the topic of visiting, we get into a fight and I insult him. When we don't talk about that stuff, we get along well. Had to ask if we could do more calls. The others WANTED to and I never really had to ask. All the other guys could kind of put me in my place, and he just can't tbh..
He's a sweet guy, emotionally supportive, always there for me, buys me gifts, etc but I don't know.. it's like I don't like him as much as all the other guys. I get pissed if we even talk about meeting or he makes one mistake.
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Opinion
1Opinion
It sounds like you may have some unresolved issues from past relationships that are affecting how you perceive and treat your current boyfriend. It's possible that you are still trying to find validation and reassurance from past traumas and not fully processing your emotions. It's important to take time to reflect on your past relationships and how they have affected you, and consider seeking therapy or counseling to help you work through these issues.
Additionally, it's important to remember that every relationship is unique and cannot be compared to past ones. It's not fair to hold your current boyfriend to the standards or expectations of past partners. It's important to communicate with him and express your feelings in a constructive and respectful manner. Work on building a strong foundation of trust and respect in your current relationship, and try not to let past experiences cloud your judgment.