My girlfriend expects me to pay for everything. Is this normal?

[assistant]

Of course, I would like to surprise her or pay the bills, etc., but it feels like she always wants me to pay. We both work, do you think it's ethical for me to pay everything when we are together? How can I tell her that I'm not happy with this?

[Leapfrog00]

You need to tell her that you're pulling all the weight in the relationship. If you're paying for everything, you're doing most of the work really. Not saying you should expect anything in return, but she should be kissing the ground you walk on for doing this.

It's so hard in the real world right now. It's hard for people to find a place to live. Food is expensive. Everyone is starving. It's not right for someone to take advantage like that. I would talk to her. If she refused to at least help you with some expenses, tell her things are really tight right now. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

A woman should not expect it. That to me is a red flag. Most men will foot the bill but a girl should not feel entitled. Does she earn as much as you? What bills does she pay? I’m pretty sure she isn’t traditional. If she is then why is she working? I’m assuming she’s not a virgin because looking at your age chances are you’re w someone about the same age maybe a few years younger. So if she’s a virgin at 40 something, maybe even hers 30’s, that to me is a red flag. You need to discuss this w her. It seems as though in a relationship men are usually ok w sharing their resources w women, but women aren’t usually up to the same task. Talk to her. Be honest. You don’t want to carry this for a long time then you explode one day about it. I mean right now she feels that everything g is ok. Maybe she doesn’t realize this.

[Rei13]

I think you should talk to her about it, every relationship dynamic is different as well as your situation. You don’t want to resent her for financial issues on either end and if you don’t want to pay for everything it’s better to be up front. For me my boyfriend typically pays for everything when we go out and when we’ve gone on vacation. I’ve tried to pay for my food at restaurants but he doesn’t let me and as far as vacations go I can’t afford them. We’ve talked about it though and he doesn’t mind because he makes a lot more money than I do and he wants to be able to experience those things with me. So I make up for it in other ways. But if he told me that he didn’t want to pay for those things it would be ok, but we wouldn’t be able to go out as much

[Pinay_ako]

Uhm, tell her? The one thing I want in a relationship to work is open and honest communication. Idc if it’s uncomfortable or awkward to talk about but things have to be said and needs to be compromised or it ain’t working for me. If she gets mad at you for being up front then she’s not being fair. It’s a two way street. Your boyfriend ain’t your sugar daddy. Pay up! Pull your weight! Or stay single! I don’t have a problem paying for my man whenever we go out for dates!

[Genie23]

It's only normal for people who prefer to be traditional relationships. Guys who are traditional don't want their woman to pay but most people prefer equality. If you both are earning, why not pay for each other whenever you guys feel like it? There doesn't need to be a turn.

[Avicenna]

Some people try to get away with this until they're told no. Decide what arrangement you want, e. g., splitting bills 50-50 and then talk to her about it.

[Adaeva]

Just don't take her to expensive places. If going to dinner take her to eat barbecue, fish, Mexican, a cafeteria, or any of the many places where spend less than $50. If she want to go to an expensive place ask her if she will pay for it. Take her to play miniature golf or some college sporting event. Most of the time you can go to your place or her place to eat and or watch a movie.

If she is not happy with that, then she has to put out or else she is just using you and you should dump her.

[Ryfyle]

Might as well tell him to break up with her.

[Adaeva]

@Ryfyle I don't know the situation well enough to suggest that. Guys usually pay for dates and if the dates are inexpensive dates, the OP's complaining is unreasonable. Suggesting that he breaks up with her would be good advice if she is the type that expects him to take her to very expensive places and to spend a lot of money.

[Ryfyle]

I just like to spread the misery.

[FilmGuy93]

Just gotta tell her, man. You don't have to get weird about it, but you might say that you would appreciate it if she picked up the tab from time to time.

Most women will be cool about requests like that; provided that it doesn't become a situation where she feels like your sugarmama

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm pro-femanazi, so they can work and pay for my dates. I'm too sexy to pay for anything or to work.

That's right... I said it... I'm too sexy to work.

That also makes me too sexy to pay.

[Friendlybro79]

She's taking advantage simple as that. It's not 1950 anymore and you're not married. I wouldn't say you need to create a spreadsheet and split it exactly 50-50 because that's annoyingly ridiculous but there should be conscious effort to both pitch in

[Friendlybro79]

Oh how do you tell her? You just say I'm not happy with this. Don't beat around the bush. How you say it matters. Say it without sounding angry

[aoihewgf]

Dude, when the bill comes, just be cool and slide the bill over half an inch and casually ask, "you got this one?" If you been paying for everything and she give me you shit for this, bad sign. Most women, whether reluctantly or not, will pay when you do this.

[aoihewgf]

If she holds a grudge for this, then that was your shit test to her and she failed.

[strateguy632]

pay. any restaurants coffee shops etc. food related. if share apartment common to split rent N bills half each. not pay clothing except birthday present. if you can't afford it be open. she will probly look for someone richer.

[aoihewgf]

She prolly 43 single mother. Good luck to her then.

[belle_kai]

She should pay her way too. You need to communicate this to her otherwise it will carry on and if she doesn't like it then you know what you need to do

[Fireguy17]

while for some people it seems to be, but I would just let her know that I am not her wallet.
Things are different now, esp with all of the equality that many women have been seeking.
It is hard to have it both ways.

[Anon9906]

No it’s not ethical, she is taking you for a ride. Yes some women like to be wined and dined and that could be their love language, but you need to draw the line.

Cover your bills, if she asks for you to pay ask her ‘do you need to borrow money?’

Pay if you ask her out to dinner, if she suggests going out light heartedly say ‘your shout?’

she’ll get the idea and will share the load if she’s not using you.

[Spongebobssocks]

Its not normal. If she was a housewife sure but if you are both working no. Unless she is muslim. I think you should tell her straight upfront

[Jhunitor]

She is taking advantage of you. You need go strict and tell her that you want to share the bills. But if I was you, I would leave her. I am not staying with someone who thinks that treating me as an ATM is okay.

[LiamJHayden]

Tell her. Just be prepared for her to leave. It's supply and demand. As long as there are guys out there willing to give her a free ride, there is a chance she will take that deal over having to pay her own way.

[hhgusgus]

Guys shouldn't have to pay everything. Taking turns to pay for something is a better way than letting someone pay for everything

[cloud9vortex1234]

I would feel like I was being used in a situation like that. I don't think it should be a problem for her to help out financially since she has a job. I definitely wouldn't keep that up if she wasn't going to contribute anything.

[Billlewis]

Oh m hell, yes. As soon as I read this, I began following you immediately.

[tzdc21]

Doesn't sound like she's reciprocating in the relationship. Talk to her and if she still refuses to reciprocate, dump her and find a woman who will.

[richardcory]

What are your relative financial situations?

[Adam1978]

Stop doing it. If she can't handle it she will soon be history. You have to pay what's in your name.

[mb120101]

Not literally everything if thats the case she gold digger

[Somebody12]

I mean she could be taking advantage of you if your both working and she does absolutely nothing financially

[Unit1]

No, your girlfriend is obviously a gold digger and you keep rewarding her for bad habits.

[shades777]

I think she should pay her part and not be a leech but women what the conveniences of the 1920's and the benefits of the 2020's.

[CuriousMufuxka]

That's not kool at all. My advice is unfortunately too late as you allowed this behavior for too long..

[Anonymous]

Yes, perfectly normal if she views you as a simp and / or as a beta provider.

[Anonymous]

You communicate with her. Use your words. You chose her, you can’t blame her for this.

[Ryfyle]

Pay for it, but make a well researched critique of everything she wants.

[mandyfire98]

It's not normal. It's also not fair.

[inhua]

is she at least doing everything else?

[slatyb]

No, it's not normal. I would be done with her.

[Anonymous]

Dump her high maintenance ass

[exitseven]

Yes, you might as well get used to it.

[sheikalana]

Not normal but very common.

[Anonymous]

No its not. You should take turns.

[Anonymous]

Damn the guy in the picture is hot.

[KrakenAttackin]

This is shitty but it is typical female behavior.

[outlawbradyjr]

Yes, especially early in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Only to who don't truly value you.

[horndog112]

She better be fulfilling your needs then

[Anonymous]

Tell her let’s take turn, I need a relief?

[Christoff92]

No it ain't

[brandon1122]

She's a gold digger