Whenever we go out, she expects me to pay the bill. She also works, but I think she wants me to take on this role because I am the man in the relationship. I really dont understand why she wants me to pay for literally everything. Do men really have to pay for everything? I am so tired of this situation, should I break up with her?
Your woman is expecting "traditional male role model" benefits from you, and she's completely entitled to expect them... IF she in return is providing "traditional female role model" benefits to you in return.
Is she young? Feminine? Family-oriented? Does she cook and clean for you? Does she take care of you at home, and do things to make your home life more relaxed and comfortable? Is she submissive and follows your lead? Does she take care of you in the bedroom? If the answers to all of those questions is "yes", then she's a traditional woman, and you'd better be paying those bills with a smile on your face.
But if the answers to those questions are "no", then she's playing you for a sucker. She does not get to be a "modern woman" (i. e., independent, career-oriented, masculine, consumer-driven, lifestyle-focused) who gives you no traditional benefits and yet still demands receiving traditional benefits herself. That is a NO GO!
That won't stop many women from trying, though, and if you're stupid enough to give into it, then you deserve all of the hell that you've allowed, and the only one you have to blame is YOU. If you think I'm being harsh with you, I am, but only because I want you to be smarter and get better outcomes.
It's entirely up to you whether you are willing to date a "modern woman", but if you choose to do so, she's going to expect to have at least 50% of the power and decision-making (probably more), and she's not likely to do much of anything for you at home, so she'd BETTER be paying 50% of the bills and 50% of the expenses, and that includes dates. Modern women insist that they can pay their own way, so don't just LET them, INSIST on it.
If you want a traditional woman, then, yeah, expect to pay for everything, and do so happily, even if it means you have to work overtime or get a second job or whatever. That should motivate you to fight for promotions or to look for better jobs or better opportunities (i. e., get training/education to improve your prospects, etc.). Traditional relationships means that YOU are the breadwinner - BUT it also means that it's HER job to manage the house, to clean, cook, and make life as comfortable and peaceful as possible for you when you're at home. That's the trade-off.
Just as you don't get all the benefits and none of the responsibilities, neither does she. Either way, you both need to be doing your share - it's just that WHAT you do is different in those two relationship types. No one rides for free.
Just date other women. Anytime a woman wants me to pay for her attention, and isn't reciprocating with affection, love, cooking, you know, tenderness and exclusivity that's part of the package for "being a traditional man and woman" I figure she's just trying to use me. So use each other rather than putting out time and effort to only be used yourself.
Just test it, say you forgot your wallet and see how much she wants to bounce the hell out compared to an otherwise normal date when you're paying.
It is normal. One of the many issues that women who desire long-term relationships face when dating is men taking advantage of them, mainly by using them strictly for sex. Early in a relationship, the way for a woman to circumvent being used for sex is to have the man pay for all the dates. More often than not, if a man does not value long-term relationships and only values sex, he likely won't be willing to continue paying for dates. If she pays for the dates, then she puts herself in the position of being used not only for sex but also for her money. The best way to determine a man's loyalty is to have him pay for the dates and determine how he acts after having sex with her for the first time. Chances are great that if the guy paid for all the dates without issue and still stayed in the relationship after having sex with her for the first time, then he is likely a better man than the guy constantly complaining about paying and not sticking around after sex. If the man does happen to ghost her even after paying for the dates, then it can be chalked up as the guy still having to spend money to take advantage of her without the woman losing any money in the process. It's a lot better for her than being used for sex and having to pay for a guy who never wanted her. Thus, I would say it should be customary for men to pay for dates until the relationship is stronger and more trust is built.
There are dates you can do that are cheap, like if you purchase a computer game that she likes, that’s 400 hours of entertainment that costs less than 400 meals at a restaurant. Same if you buy a work out DVD you guys do in the basement together. That is $15 for 40 hours of dates. As well as channel subscriptions like Ted Talks etc…
Opinion
26Opinion
In the early courting days that's fine. Once it's an ongoing established relationship she needs to contribute.
She doesn't want a traditional relationship. She wants one aspect of a traditional relationship that's beneficial to her, while ignoring the rest. If she wants to be out working, that's fine, but she needs to contribute financially. If she wants you to be the sole provider, then she needs to hold up her end of the bargain.
She wants her cake and eat it too. She's using you. "The man should pay" is just an excuse.
You should definitely break up with her. And you should discuss this with her. Did you discuss this with her? If not, why? She is using you. You don't have to pay her bills no matter first date, second date and if both of you in a relationship. If you have a little bit self respect you would break up with her or convince her to pay her stuff. If she pay her bills then you can continue but if not then you should definitely break up with her. You don't to be seen as paypig or financial slave.
i've never really liked the guy paying for my stuff or really anyone, since i like paying for my own shit. i guess that's just a side effect of growing up poor
there are a lot of girls who the guy to pay for dates and stuff, but i don't think you realistically should pay for everything unless she's doing something else in return. paying for all of that can be very expensive, so i think you two need a discussion about it
That's normal, it's more about what she does for you. Does she sometimes want to treat you? Does she give back? And I'm not talking about in the bedroom. Does she genuinely like doing things for you as well? For example in my previous relationship, if he was low on money I would pay for myself. For his birthday I took him out to eat. I got him a nice Christmas gift. I was there for him when he needed to talk about something.
Some women do expect the man to pay for everything yes. It seems like your girlfriend is one of them. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, specially if you are both okay with it. But that doesn't seem the case. I think you should discuss it and depending on the outcome, decide if it's a dealbreaker or not. Consider if you are willing to overlook it or if it's going to cause issues and/or resentment in the future, as that is not healthy.
Does she cook for you everytime? Look after the house? Clean and iron your clothes? Sex on command?
If the anser is No on just One of my questions, it's not normal. She wants you to pay for everything, she should do everything you ask of her that's in her power to do.
you got yourself a spoiled one there. we have always split, pay for our own, and on special occasions he'd buy or i'd buy. she's been having it good with whatever other guys she's been with, treating her all the time. she's not living in reality. you should talk with her. if she can't compromise, then yeah break up.
Break up you don’t seem happy and agree with this traditional role you paying everything.
You go to the % of not accepting this and some men are ok with it. You can’t really ask that qs here at gag if it’s normal.
If you asked my father he would be like fu k yeah I paid for your mom like always.. if you ask my uncle he is greedy af and he is a sibling to my father so yeah. That’s something to talk out to yourself not at gag
in countries like the Philippines it's notmal... my ex pay he would insist he pays when we go our but he live in my house and eat my food. i calculated everything we are 50-50 because i don't feel comfortable that i'm just "freeloader"
Put her in her place and let her know that some bills need to be shared or taken care of solely by the person who the item is for. If she can't respect your stance, let her go. Her loss
I believe Kanye and Jamie Foxx did a song about this kind of person. Why isn't she paying her way? That just screams she's got no self respect and will use you.
I'm assuming she is of mature age and you are making similar mounts of $$$$ ?
If that's the case , absolutely get rid of her , she is like a leach.
Unless she is having sex with you every night and/or doing everything possible to make your home life easier... no it's not normal.
She's just using you,.
Talk with her about it.
But yeah, maybe it just shows you're both with the wrong person. But first, talk it out.
This is the time to get to know each other. Communicate and set some structures how you want this relationship go.
Be a real man. If you were a real man, it is not her money you would be after.
It's only normal if she is a traditional woman herself.
hell no, its the 21st century bud equality. If she is really good looking, you kind of dont have a choice.
Some want a traditional arrangement. That is fine if you think she is worthy of it. Otherwise, leave while you can.
Normal? Or normal for women? Because there's a difference. Yes it's pretty normal for women today. That doesn't mean you should just roll over and take it.
