Whenever we go out, she expects me to pay the bill. She also works, but I think she wants me to take on this role because I am the man in the relationship. I really dont understand why she wants me to pay for literally everything. Do men really have to pay for everything? I am so tired of this situation, should I break up with her?
Your woman is expecting "traditional male role model" benefits from you, and she's completely entitled to expect them... IF she in return is providing "traditional female role model" benefits to you in return.
Is she young? Feminine? Family-oriented? Does she cook and clean for you? Does she take care of you at home, and do things to make your home life more relaxed and comfortable? Is she submissive and follows your lead? Does she take care of you in the bedroom? If the answers to all of those questions is "yes", then she's a traditional woman, and you'd better be paying those bills with a smile on your face.
But if the answers to those questions are "no", then she's playing you for a sucker. She does not get to be a "modern woman" (i. e., independent, career-oriented, masculine, consumer-driven, lifestyle-focused) who gives you no traditional benefits and yet still demands receiving traditional benefits herself. That is a NO GO!
That won't stop many women from trying, though, and if you're stupid enough to give into it, then you deserve all of the hell that you've allowed, and the only one you have to blame is YOU. If you think I'm being harsh with you, I am, but only because I want you to be smarter and get better outcomes.
It's entirely up to you whether you are willing to date a "modern woman", but if you choose to do so, she's going to expect to have at least 50% of the power and decision-making (probably more), and she's not likely to do much of anything for you at home, so she'd BETTER be paying 50% of the bills and 50% of the expenses, and that includes dates. Modern women insist that they can pay their own way, so don't just LET them, INSIST on it.
If you want a traditional woman, then, yeah, expect to pay for everything, and do so happily, even if it means you have to work overtime or get a second job or whatever. That should motivate you to fight for promotions or to look for better jobs or better opportunities (i. e., get training/education to improve your prospects, etc.). Traditional relationships means that YOU are the breadwinner - BUT it also means that it's HER job to manage the house, to clean, cook, and make life as comfortable and peaceful as possible for you when you're at home. That's the trade-off.
Just as you don't get all the benefits and none of the responsibilities, neither does she. Either way, you both need to be doing your share - it's just that WHAT you do is different in those two relationship types. No one rides for free.
Just date other women. Anytime a woman wants me to pay for her attention, and isn't reciprocating with affection, love, cooking, you know, tenderness and exclusivity that's part of the package for "being a traditional man and woman" I figure she's just trying to use me. So use each other rather than putting out time and effort to only be used yourself.
Just test it, say you forgot your wallet and see how much she wants to bounce the hell out compared to an otherwise normal date when you're paying.
It is normal. One of the many issues that women who desire long-term relationships face when dating is men taking advantage of them, mainly by using them strictly for sex. Early in a relationship, the way for a woman to circumvent being used for sex is to have the man pay for all the dates. More often than not, if a man does not value long-term relationships and only values sex, he likely won't be willing to continue paying for dates. If she pays for the dates, then she puts herself in the position of being used not only for sex but also for her money. The best way to determine a man's loyalty is to have him pay for the dates and determine how he acts after having sex with her for the first time. Chances are great that if the guy paid for all the dates without issue and still stayed in the relationship after having sex with her for the first time, then he is likely a better man than the guy constantly complaining about paying and not sticking around after sex. If the man does happen to ghost her even after paying for the dates, then it can be chalked up as the guy still having to spend money to take advantage of her without the woman losing any money in the process. It's a lot better for her than being used for sex and having to pay for a guy who never wanted her. Thus, I would say it should be customary for men to pay for dates until the relationship is stronger and more trust is built.
I wish that women could learn that we don’t go out with you for the sole intention of sleeping with you.
I’ve been on lots of dates, and paid for them, with women that were boring, dumb, terrible conversationalists, impolite, or rude to waiters. You think I want to still have sex with that?
No. You just go home feeling like a sucker, that you just got used for a meal, and after you add in the cost of gas, the meal, drinks, any entertainment , it quickly becomes evident that it was a huge waste of time and money.
And this is why I only do coffee dates now. I’m not paying for dates so I can fuck you. I could just go it to find a whore for that. It’d be a hell of a lot easier. For me and for lots of men.
Amazingly we want something more than that.
@Agagagagaga: Yet, plenty of men do date women with the sole intention of having sex. It's not uncommon for men to completely ghost women after sex. This is especially true for younger men. Of course, I never said this applied to every man, but it does happen enough times for women to be wary of it if they desire a long-term relationship. As for paying for dates being a "huge waste of time," I disagree. Hardly anything is free in the world. If you want to enjoy yourself, you have to spend money, whether you're alone or on a date. Considering that you wanted to go out with a woman to have a good time, you have to spend money to have a good time. You should also understand that no guarantee exists that your time will be good. By your logic, watching a movie at the theatre that turns out to be bad is a huge waste of time and not worth paying for. Yet, that doesn't mean you should be exempt from paying for movies going forward. Just as the movie you paid for can be bad, so can your date. Yet, the fact that you spent money on a date that turned out to be bad shouldn't be your primary concern. Instead, it should be an experience to enjoy yourself and perhaps find a woman who is a match for you based on your past experiences. When it comes to dating, not every man is willing to pay for prostitutes. Some men don't want to risk getting STDs, engage in illegal activity, or bear the stigma of being a man who "had to pay to get pussy." Some men enjoy just being able to talk and charm their way into getting into a woman's pants because it helps them feel like a player. Because of that, I strongly believe that a man should prove his loyalty first before she starts paying for him.
Who is proposing anything logical when it comes to dating? Women are illogical. Just look at you. You believe that loyalty is best demonstrated by a man by PAYING MONEY FOR THINGS.
Do you not see how ridiculous that sounds?
@Agagagagaga: Everyone should be logical when it comes to dating. If you're being illogical, you're only going to struggle. It's not ridiculous at all. What's ridiculous is that you don't believe men exist who use women for sex and don't value long-term relationships.
When I was a teenager, one thing that my dad taught me was that I should never pay for dates. When I asked why, he told me that it was because many guys, especially young guys, mainly use women for sex. However, I didn't believe him and instead believed that no harm existed in paying for dates, as men shouldn't be expected to carry such a heavy burden. Thus, when I first arrived at college and entered relationships, I began paying for dates, and everything seemed fine. However, shortly after, I realized that I had become known to many guys as the girl on campus who would pay for dates. As a result, my guys would approach me solely with the intention of expecting me to pay when we went out.
I also noticed that after having sex with them, many guys would ghost me. Because of this, I often ended up being taken advantage of and losing money by paying for men who truly never really wanted me. After that, I learned the hard way that my dad was right. Ever since then, I stopped paying for dates. I felt that if a man was truly serious about being with me for the long term, he would put in some effort to show it. A man that has no problem paying for dates, being patient for when I am ready to have sex with him, and sticking around after sex is more likely to be a loyal good guy than a guy that is constantly complaining about having to pay for dates. A man who doesn't truly value you likely isn't going to waste his money paying for dates when he can get sex elsewhere. Yet, if he does, a woman would be wise not to spend any money on him before he takes advantage of her.
Its not normal. You are a gold digger.
@Strong_Warrior: I don't date guys solely for their money. However, I definitely would not recommend a woman paying for a man that could potentially be using her for sex. I'd say, before she does that, she needs to build the man's trust first.
Tiffany you don't deserve any men. I hope you will be alone rest of your life.
@Strong_Warrior: I'm engaged, sorry.
This is assuming that that the woman will have sex within the first few dates of knowing the guy. Granted, that is very common these days, but it is not a guarantee by any means, and there are still some women who aren't like that. That said, women end up using the guy for free dinners or drinks and then bailing. So what benefit does the guy get from that? He can't chalk it up to "paid to take advantage of me" because she literally paid nothing. (And if you claim time, don't forget he also wasted his time.)
@MisterKuulius: According to some statistics, about 35% of people have sex on the first date and about 45% of people consider it. Thus, we can safely assume that most women definitely have sex in mind when dating. Some are women are just not likely to do it on the first date, which is especially true for women that value long-term relationships. Women are also more likely to value long-term relationships compared to men. Women don't exactly need free food and drink, especially as strongly as men feel that they need pussy. I'd say it's harder for a man to get pussy than it is for a woman to get her own food. Therefore, I'm not convinced that women are truly using men strictly for free dinner dates. Even if this was the case, paying for dinner dates shouldn't be that expensive depending on where you eat. Also, before dating, you need to understand the risk that your date isn't guaranteed to like you. It's no different than you understanding that you run the risk of not enjoying the movie that you paid to see. If you expect everything to go perfectly simply because you paid for it, maybe it just isn't for you. I would say that spending a few dollars on a dinner date (where you also enjoyed the food) without seeing the woman again isn't as bad as deliberately using the woman for sex and ghosting her after she paid for all your dates, especially when she desired a long-term relationship.
I'm sorry for all the negative men attacking you. You are logical, they are emotional. I know why they are upset, you upset me too but it doesn't make you wrong. You are strong and sorry they aren't able to see past themselves. What you said helps you and women. Self preservation. It does not benefit you to pay. However I am also upset. I came here because I have given 4 women all my money among others but these 4 are consistent. Of course noone will have sympathy for me and call me a creep who asked for it. But I did it without asking for anything. Maybe a smile here and there. Does that make me sexist? These men have a point. Women also use men as suckers too. The ones who are empathetic, the ones who ask for nothing. 2 of the women I talked to aren't doing this intentionally. I know the second I ask for nudes or sex women will call me a creep. I feel entitled to something considering all I've done for them and considering I met them on a dating site not as friends. But no.
It's not right. The second a man fails to pay for a woman or messes up or asks for anything "he's just like all the guys" and a selfish pig playing the woman. It's exhausting. But I know they will die without me. Many men go without sex their entire lives now you'll say "sex isn't a right", that's not my point. My point is girls don't put out. But I get it. Women risk everything with pregnancy especially when the man's sperm is unhealthy due to bad diet and life choices. But if she doesn't want kids it's a little much. My issue is where does it end? That's why I don't date. The second a man asks for anything he's a scumbag. Let alone sex. The good a person does never matters, one mistake and he's "just like all the other guys".
Never heard of a single woman that put out on the first date. Maybe it's only for attractive guys. Most guys get no dates. And if they do they can't ever initiate. Most marriages where the man is good and the woman doesn't really care about him are sexless. Women always say "sex isn't a right" but what do I know I've never got a date. And yes you're right deliberately using a woman for sex is worse. I don't get these men. Bad men are worse than bad women but there are good men who deal with the bad women and its a slow hell or slow punishment. Being a good person is so fucking hard when you gain nothing. If I cut them off, I killed them. Yet I'm not allowed to ask anything from them or western women will say I abused my power. And they'd be right. But I can only give so much and recieve nothing in return. I just have to stop giving. I can't keep giving until I have nothing. Women have it very hard. But good men exist as piggy banks and people who help them move without anything in return. Some are genuinely good. Some are hoping to get with the girl. I don't care. Why is everything a woman does justified? We are humans. We exist. We are allowed to share our pain. Seems the only happy ones are the ones who destroy lives, leave people to die. The selfish evil men get all the sex, love and attention. But I'd rather die than be one of them. All I want you to admit is being played for a sucker by women happens. And no matter what a man does he will be called evil. And the men who never ask for anything exist, the women who never give sex are more than you think. And I knoe you'll say I'm entitled to sex which proves my point.
But you seem logical so maybe you won't say that.
There are dates you can do that are cheap, like if you purchase a computer game that she likes, that’s 400 hours of entertainment that costs less than 400 meals at a restaurant. Same if you buy a work out DVD you guys do in the basement together. That is $15 for 40 hours of dates. As well as channel subscriptions like Ted Talks etc…
Opinion
26Opinion
In the early courting days that's fine. Once it's an ongoing established relationship she needs to contribute.
She doesn't want a traditional relationship. She wants one aspect of a traditional relationship that's beneficial to her, while ignoring the rest. If she wants to be out working, that's fine, but she needs to contribute financially. If she wants you to be the sole provider, then she needs to hold up her end of the bargain.
She wants her cake and eat it too. She's using you. "The man should pay" is just an excuse.
You should definitely break up with her. And you should discuss this with her. Did you discuss this with her? If not, why? She is using you. You don't have to pay her bills no matter first date, second date and if both of you in a relationship. If you have a little bit self respect you would break up with her or convince her to pay her stuff. If she pay her bills then you can continue but if not then you should definitely break up with her. You don't to be seen as paypig or financial slave.
And never listen to a woman when she says "its okay". Because women love money and draining men. You should not listen women. You should listen the truth. If we are equal, we don't have to pay. Don't allow gold digger manipulative feminist women to drain you.
i've never really liked the guy paying for my stuff or really anyone, since i like paying for my own shit. i guess that's just a side effect of growing up poor
there are a lot of girls who the guy to pay for dates and stuff, but i don't think you realistically should pay for everything unless she's doing something else in return. paying for all of that can be very expensive, so i think you two need a discussion about it
That's normal, it's more about what she does for you. Does she sometimes want to treat you? Does she give back? And I'm not talking about in the bedroom. Does she genuinely like doing things for you as well? For example in my previous relationship, if he was low on money I would pay for myself. For his birthday I took him out to eat. I got him a nice Christmas gift. I was there for him when he needed to talk about something.
"And I'm not talking about in the bedroom. " You are such a narsistic gold digger. I would never date with a girl like you.
Some women do expect the man to pay for everything yes. It seems like your girlfriend is one of them. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, specially if you are both okay with it. But that doesn't seem the case. I think you should discuss it and depending on the outcome, decide if it's a dealbreaker or not. Consider if you are willing to overlook it or if it's going to cause issues and/or resentment in the future, as that is not healthy.
Does she cook for you everytime? Look after the house? Clean and iron your clothes? Sex on command?
If the anser is No on just One of my questions, it's not normal. She wants you to pay for everything, she should do everything you ask of her that's in her power to do.
you got yourself a spoiled one there. we have always split, pay for our own, and on special occasions he'd buy or i'd buy. she's been having it good with whatever other guys she's been with, treating her all the time. she's not living in reality. you should talk with her. if she can't compromise, then yeah break up.
Break up you don’t seem happy and agree with this traditional role you paying everything.
You go to the % of not accepting this and some men are ok with it. You can’t really ask that qs here at gag if it’s normal.
If you asked my father he would be like fu k yeah I paid for your mom like always.. if you ask my uncle he is greedy af and he is a sibling to my father so yeah. That’s something to talk out to yourself not at gag
in countries like the Philippines it's notmal... my ex pay he would insist he pays when we go our but he live in my house and eat my food. i calculated everything we are 50-50 because i don't feel comfortable that i'm just "freeloader"
Put her in her place and let her know that some bills need to be shared or taken care of solely by the person who the item is for. If she can't respect your stance, let her go. Her loss
I believe Kanye and Jamie Foxx did a song about this kind of person. Why isn't she paying her way? That just screams she's got no self respect and will use you.
I'm assuming she is of mature age and you are making similar mounts of $$$$ ?
If that's the case , absolutely get rid of her , she is like a leach.
Unless she is having sex with you every night and/or doing everything possible to make your home life easier... no it's not normal.
She's just using you,.
Talk with her about it.
But yeah, maybe it just shows you're both with the wrong person. But first, talk it out.
This is the time to get to know each other. Communicate and set some structures how you want this relationship go.
Any woman should at least offer to pay half. That is only fair.
Be a real man. If you were a real man, it is not her money you would be after.
It's only normal if she is a traditional woman herself.
hell no, its the 21st century bud equality. If she is really good looking, you kind of dont have a choice.
Some want a traditional arrangement. That is fine if you think she is worthy of it. Otherwise, leave while you can.
Normal? Or normal for women? Because there's a difference. Yes it's pretty normal for women today. That doesn't mean you should just roll over and take it.
Your girlfriend is a gold digger! She sees you as her personal ATM.
It's not the 1950's anymore. She should contribute. Equality is the new standard after all.
My buddy was still expected to pay for everything even though his wife out earned him.
Now they are in the middle of a divorce.
Well I think it's fair...
If she gives her body to you for sex without any cost then you should also take care of her expenses i think she is fair here.
You have learned a valuable lesson. With women, nothing is free.
She's a Gold Digger and she's gonna end up upgrading when she has the chance.
Get yourself a submissive male pay pig.
Yes, you should break up with her.
Yes, you might as well get used to it.
Dump her, she's a gold digger.
I have my opinion what’s your opinion?
I don't care at all. Anyone can pay.
It's normal but that doesn't make it right.
Your girlfriend is a parasite.
Yes.
Why not?
That’s not normal
Normal
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