Why do I keep thinking/dreaming about this woman I went on 1 date with and texted for a few weeks?

[tstarr17]

Back in late November and through a solid amount of December of last year, I started talking to this one woman off Facebook Dating. We seemed to have a lot in common, we went on one date and she agreed to a second one, but that's where the good stuff ends. She didn't really make much of an effort to try and see me again, although she had no problem texting me. I've dated other women like that and my anxiety goes up from that because I didn't want that happening again. One night, I decided to tell her I honestly feel and, not trying to shame her, but I don't think she fully understood my intent. Not that I did everything perfectly myself, but still. She believed I was being controlling and too smothering. She also worked during the week and didn't really want to hang out after work since she says her job is exhausting. (Although that didn't stop her from going to an NBA game with one friend). Neither of which was my intent, but it just feels like she was playing the victim. I didn't want to stop dating her completely, but she stops talking to me after that. Before I go further, this question is not "How do I get her back?". I 100% believe she has absolutely no interest in even talking to me again and I've tried talking to other women on FB dating, but at the time of me writing this, that was the last date I've been on. I ask this question because I honestly still think about that incident a lot, and I even had a dream last night where she texted me completely on her own asking how I was doing. I might know what you'll say, "date other people, move on, it's over." And you're not wrong to say any of that. I just don't know why I still think about it a lot. I don't think either of us really handled that perfectly, but still. I want to move on, but for some reason I just can't fully without actually dating someone else. What do you guys think?

Updates

+1 y

The reason why she felt I was being smothering, which was not my intent, was because I told her I did develop some feelings for her during the time and that may have clouded my judgement a little bit. I know it was only one date, but we did text each other a lot. I told her a lot about myself and she did the same.

Updates

+1 y

I guess this question is more of a "How do I get over her" type of question than a "How do I get her back?" I haven't had much luck finding someone to even go on one date with, so I gotta have some other option. I should also mention a few weeks after we stopped talking, I decide to throw a hail mary and text her to see how she's doing, show her I'm still here if she wants to chat, possibly be friends. I got no response, as I expected.

[CarefreeGirly]

Probably because there was no real closure.

[tstarr17]

Very true. At the time when we talked about it, I did feel like I screwed up and I should've trusted her more. And, maybe so, but it's not like she said anything like "Can we try for Saturday?" I did try to apologize about that but she just didn't wanna hear it. And, even if I didn't say that, it might not have lasted anyway

[CarefreeGirly]

Don’t think about the what ifs. If she were interested enough, she’d make some effort. You’ll find someone that appreciates you, this one wasn’t it.

[tstarr17]

Yep, I agree. I guess the best way to really stop thinking about it is just to date other people and find someone that appreciates who I really am.

[CarefreeGirly]

I’m sure you will, but you can also focus on yourself for a while.

[Anonymous]

She must have really impressed you?

[tstarr17]

I did really like talking to her and I wanted it to work. So, at the time, yes, she did. But if she's gonna make assumptions and not fully listen to what I say or understand my intent, then we probably shouldn't date