Is it nearly impossible for a girl to get a guy that both wants a relationship with her and desires her sexually?

[Anonymous]

Seems like it’s either one or the other.

[Lliam]

I never dated a girl I wasn't sexually attracted to. But I preferred to be in a committed, monogamous relationship. I wasn't into hook up culture. And once I reached a certain age, I wanted to find a life partner and settle down.

I went through about a five year spell between 29 and 34 where I had gained weight do to a new job and lifestyle. I didn't like myself and didn't want the kind of girlfriend who would like me as I was. It was like the Groucho Marx line, "I wouldn't be in a club that would have someone like me as a member."

I finally got used to my job and new persona, lost the weight, got back in shape, and found the kind of girlfriends I wanted. I eventually found the one I wanted to marry.

[OfMiceandMen]

I gather you are suggesting most men want the sex part and no relationship? I can't vouch for most men, but I need the relationship part to be in full effect before the sexual stuff shows up. I need that connection, the friendship, the trust, the caring, the exclusivity, (all of it) before sex comes into play. Sex, is just the icing on the cake to a good thing that has already evolved between two people.

I am sure there are other guys out there that need the connection before sex is even discussed.

[Rei13]

Both are possible. I’ve had guys that wanted to date me and were sexually attracted to me. My boyfriend included otherwise we wouldn’t be together. Before I lost weight I’ve encountered both sides of them only wanting sex and others who saw relationship material but not the physical aspect. I’m fortunate my boyfriend wanted both when I was heavy and where I am at now

[Asker]

I’ve been noticing that too. I hate when they try to get a relationship out of you even though they don’t really desire you physically. And, in my experience, it’s usually cause they actually aren’t into women much and simply want kids or a “proper” relationship.

[Anonymous]

That makes no sense.

You’re saying that it’s either.

• A man wants you sexually for your looks
• A man wants to marry you NOT because of your looks.

I never heard of a man marrying someone he’s not sexually attracted to.
IT SURE HAPPENS. But that’s not the majority. And usually both husband & wife are young and attractive. 🤔

[EpicSnail]

I think it makes quite a lot of sense. For me, there is quite a difference between a woman being "hot", and a woman being "beautiful".

[EpicSnail]

E. g Tracey Emin is hot AF. And Kiera Knightley is beautiful.

[Opinion Owner]

@EpicSnail
These celebrities you’ve never met. 🤡🤡
Freemasons, Illuminati Celebrities

[EpicSnail]

So what? I can still judge whether they inspire lust or love.

[Opinion Owner]

@EpicSnail
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Summeroflove]

Well. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. There are many guys waiting until marriage. After that… Yeah there should be sex involved.

But. Then there is man whores and they’re not gonna care and they’re gonna cheat on you. Just like the weird girl who called me a faggot earlier tonight

[Miristheiss]

No it isn't.

Only if the girl is only going after the players, f boys, Chads and Tyrones.

It sounds like that is the only type of guy a girl is willing to go after.

She just keeps trying to get the Chad to settle down and be husband/dad.

[Asker]

Nah, most girls don’t go after players. In fact, most girls simply have men going after them and then wrongfully fall for their phony asses.

Anyway, eventually all girls realize this and accept the guy that doesn’t want them sexually but at least wants a relationship.

[Kiss_Me]

Slow down sexually. Date lots of guys without being exclusive. It's the perfect weed-out test for the little buys. The ones that enjoy your nonsexual traits will stick around. That will give you time to decide who gets your body. It will take discipline and determination, but we have faith in you.

[Asker]

Umm, I have no problem not having sex considering I’m a virgin. But men that want something serious and longterm don’t really like a girl either; they just want to have kids and a family unit and so they pick a girl that fits the bill.

[slatyb]

Of course. Her choice is to have sex soon after meeting, and realize that the relationship may not last long, or delay it. The important to realize is that sex can't be traded for love or commitment. Have sex because you want to have sex, take the necessary precautions, enjoy it if possible, and don't regret it. Then you will never feel "used for sex".

[Asker]

I don’t know why girls would have casual sex; they probably never end up actually enjoying it and orgasming. Not that I would know for sure, but still.

[slatyb]

"they probably never end up actually enjoying it and orgasming" Some definitely do.

[Anemone978]

Sadly it seems like it is either one or the other especially in the 20's & 30's..
Men are a waste..

[Asker]

Men that want relationships seem to be using a woman for to get kids out of her and might often not really even be into women that much.

[Asker]

woman to get*

[gerald5466]

no, it is not cause I am perfectly happy just hanging out watching movies and cuddling I don't need sex to be happy with her but I do desire her sexually it's just if she doesn't want to fuck then she doesn't want to fuck she make me happy just being with her and I'm probably going to marry this girl

[Truthatanycost]

Yes, it's possible but the root issue is few women know their perceived value sexually / physically. And due to this they punch above their own weight...

[Asker]

That’s really not true. Most couples I see, the woman is better looking objectively speaking.

[Truthatanycost]

That's because when it comes to getting commitment, they have much less choice.

[Asker]

No, it’s usually cause women put more emphasis on different things.

[Asker]

Besides, commitment for a man has nothing to do with the woman and everything to do with using her so he can get kids.

[Truthatanycost]

It depends on which way you see it, from a jaded point of view, or a godly one. If a man is good, godly, just and loving, committing to a woman is considered an honor that goes both ways and he is not using her, he is blessing himself, the children and the Kingdom of God with new beings that are loved, blessed, secured and cherished for life. She is also accepting the gift of a godly husband and a good man that will always be by her side and creating children together.

But few women know how to recognize such a man, let alone find one.

[ryanrhino]

It's called marriage material and no, it is not nearly impossible-it just takes time and lots of effort.

[Asker]

Marriage material girls aren’t actually liked when they get picked. They get picked because they fit certain criteria that have nothing to do with the guy’s feelings for her.

[ryanrhino]

Hmmm... Well, I have always picked marriage material women and the whole package was important to me. Plus, desiring a partner sexually should be both mental and physical attraction, as looks fade, but desire should not. That's how you know you found your match.

[BarryLiverstone]

If a guy is initially attracted the sexual urges are there ( just like they would be for the girl). But having dates and communicating boundaries are huge. How long of a relationship are you asking about?

[Asker]

Lifelong

[BarryLiverstone]

If you have never met her before, committing to a lifetime is impossible

[Asker]

Well, yea, obviously this question implies that they meet…

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok so in that case if there is sexual attraction initially wouldn’t you choose to delay it and get to know them first over dates and months?

[Asker]

Sure, but sadly, a girl never knows if he’s delaying it because he’s simply being respectful or because he’s not really that attracted to her or women in general.

[BarryLiverstone]

He can desire and seduce her slowly with words and some physical touch. If the guy starts to make out with you on your 2nd date wouldn’t you know?

[Asker]

Not really

[BarryLiverstone]

Then I can’t help you. That’s a action a guy does to show he’s into her and wants to escalate over time. All guys have is words and actions to communicate how we feel

[Asker]

Don’t they tend to be faked?

[BarryLiverstone]

In the talking stage before trust is earned there will be a certain amount of fake and holding back the whole truth from both people. That’s why you date and start to judge them as a real person

[Asker]

I feel like men often seem to fake whole relationships, from what I’ve observed around me.

[BarryLiverstone]

How would they do that?

[Asker]

By not really being interested

[BarryLiverstone]

Girls do the same at times

[lightbulb27]

no but you can watch videos from a therapist about how that is an issue in that love/lust are different forces.

[Grond21]

This is the natural state for men, so if you have not been able to find it you're looking in the wrong places. I love my relationship with my girlfriend and I strongly desire her sexually.

[strateguy632]

or? my relationships included seks and lasted repeated until she got bored of me usualy 5 weeks.

[Anarcamus]

I think you might have some aspects confused here... you do get that right?

[TacosRAwesome]

I don't think it's impossible but it is how I'm currently feeling.

[Asker]

Quite a few girls seem to be feeling the same way. It’s good to know I’m not alone, but it’s also not shocking. Thnxx

[JSmuve]

No. It's just impossible for you, apparently.

[Asker]

Not really, I see it all around me. Women in relationships with men that treat them badly because they’re faking the whole relationship.

[JSmuve]

Those guys aren't faking the relationship. That's just the relationship they want.

[Asker]

Nope. They’re using the woman usually, either to get kids or have a relationship their parents/society would approve of.

[JSmuve]

It's women who use guys to have kids.

[Asker]

I’m sure that happens, but women will still develop real feelings usually, even if it didn’t start off that way.

[Juxtapose]

Usually it's women who kill sex at some point in the relationship, see dead bedrooms in marriages.

[Z1pTD]

It’s possible and what all good men want. . .

[Anonymous]

I'd say it's nearly impossible to get the ones you're interested in to want that.. Most women, you included, go after the top 5 % of men..

[Asker]

Actually most women don’t go after men at all..

[Opinion Owner]

Keep telling your self that.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Because most women simply do not search for those guys. I mean they want them. But they wouldn't know him if he was standing right in front of her, nor choose him.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

YeS

And I don’t mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically, or in any other fancy way. You can, straight up.

[Anonymous]

Not really no. It's all about your standards and what guys you choose to date.

[BigOleMatt]

Not impossible but it rarely happens with both sides of the relationship.

[Nikki1989]

It is very possible.

[MrCommodore]

No, both are possible

[Molly1997]

I don't know I don’t have trouble with that

[FilmGuy93]

That's not true at all.

[sheikalana]

That's very possible.

[In_Trance]

Because you keep dating the wrong guy

[Asker]

They’re all wrong.

[Twalli]

That's all I look for

[Guardian45]

No, that's the goal! Keep looking!

[jujus]

You just have to look hard enough ;)

[Ryfyle]

No. you just receive what you put out.

[Greenbins]

Not really... she has to be worth It.

[RavVid]

Certainly is.

[Anonymous]

Maybe impossible for you.

[Asker]

Not really, I see it all around me. Women in relationships with men that treat them badly because they’re faking the whole relationship.

[dudeinohio]

Yes of course it is

[swettannie]

No, it is possible

[Luckycharms12]

Nope not at all