If a guy let's a girl pay, is that messed up?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

No.

That's really all I've got to say. No, it's not messed up.

A little bit messed up if he expects you to pay every time, but if you make more money than him, then that goes right back to being not messed up.

My guy friend usually pays when we go out because he's employed and I'm not. But sometimes I still pay because I feel bad to make him do it every time. I don't see it as messed up when he lets me pay.

[Anemone978]

Not messed up.. but I would think he is useless lol If he can't provide there are many men that can. But I wouldn't hate him or think he owes me if he didn't. I would just think he isn't the one.

[Twalli]

Let's you pay, that means you offered to pay.

[Anemone978]

@Twalli My bad.. but yeah if I paid, I already know he isn't for me.. he is automatically friend zoned.

[Anemone978]

*If he let me pay..

[Twalli]

So if you offer you expect the guy to say that you can't pay? If the guy expects you to pay, that's different.

[Anemone978]

@Twalli If he wants to be getting pussy.. yeah I expect him to say "no, I'll get it"
If I am paying for myself or for both of us we are only friends.

[Anonymous]

It's shocking that in 2023 there are still women who think the way you do. Female entitled syndrome at its worst.

[Asker]

If he wants a traditional wife...

[BoopBoopBeep]

Do you satisfy every component of a traditional wife?

[Opinion Owner]

There are virtually no women today who are willing to be a traditional wife.

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep Yes sir.

[Asker]

@ opinion owner those women aren't religious or weren't raised by strict old school parents.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Do you want to be a traditional wife? If he says he's hungry are you going to make him food? Even if that means you have to go to the grocery store because something critical is missing?

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep Yes, I would love to do that. In fact I already do that for my family since I'm not married.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well then really the most important question here is do you have any older sisters? Uhm... asking... for a friend... yeah... yeah that'll work.

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker I take back what I said. You are a high value woman who deserves a high value man. I hope you find one who is worthy of you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Second this. Tell your man to come read this page.

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep Sorry I only have brothers XD but if I did have one I would have sent her your way. (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) Ok, I will do that. Thank you gentlemen.

[Twalli]

Traditional also means you own nothing. You cannot vote. You cannot work. Your sole value is to reproduce and provide whatever your husband wants.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Twalli I bet you're fun at parties ;)

[Twalli]

@BoopBoopBeep with other historians, yes. I got a degree in history, I know traditional gender roles back to Ancient Greece. I didn't even being up dowries or that a father used to literally pay the suitor to marry his daughter. I don't want a traditional woman, because no self respecting woman wants all that entails.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Twalli Well look at you! I can't say I've ever seen a historian party. I'd venture that's quite an experience. Do you ever disagree with one another?

[Twalli]

@BoopBoopBeep Of course, history happened, but we weren't there.

[Twalli]

Although I guess you wouldn't see them as parties. Graduate students give a presentation on their area of study and then we talk and mingle.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Twalli Sure, that's a party as much as any other. Mine may look different but the point is always the same isn't it? Comradery with like-minded people, or at least people with whom you share a common bond. Perhaps with tasty snacks. The chance to meet new people with that common bond.

[Twalli]

@BoopBoopBeep They may have changed. I haven't been more than half a mile from my house since February 2020

[Asker]

@Twalli You know what I mean. Susan b Anthony already fought for women to have the right to vote. We can't go back in time unless you are asking me to live in a fantasy world. I'm just talking about a sahw, something old school from 1980 let's say and without the domestic abuse of course. I don't why some men have to make this so extreme, obviously I want respect and not have boundaries crossed like any other normal human being. But I'm cool with womanly duties around the house which is rare to come by these days, I know. I don't plan on working so you know I got to do something if I am going to stay home all day.

[BoopBoopBeep]

They make it extreme because it doesn't fit their fourth-wave feminist narrative and anything that disrupts their world view is met with the same crashing-into-a-wall cognitive dissonance that fries so many brains. A woman MUST want to run a fortune 500 company. This woman doesn't want that. No she really does. No actually she doesn't. That doesn't make sense to me, so she must be subjugated into believing that she wants that because she is oppressed by the patriarchy!

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep So true! That's pretty shocking though. It's like what guy wouldn't want that? I appreciate him not wanting to burden me but I'm the one that wants to do it. It's not like I'm being forced when it's my decision and my choice. For most women (at least that's what I think since I'm like this) our nurturing side is a part of us. We usually/sometimes do soft feminine things like caring for someone. It's already engrained in us like why not use it? Especially if the girl enjoys doing it.

[BoopBoopBeep]

So true, but for people like him, you're not smart enough to know what you want to do so you need him to save you from yourself and tell you what you want to do, which is advance his fourth-wave narrative. This all started when second-tier "intellectuals" started finding a way to advance their own world view through self-referencing academic (pardon the phrase) circle-jerks wherein the echo chamber of academia was tantamount to gospel. Since THEY couldn't get real women to be interested in their do-nothing degrees with no real-world value, and no ability to even provide for themselves much less another person (turns out Gender Studies and Ancient Poetry doesn't pay too well in the real world) they took a coordinated attack on the value of a real (traditional) woman, and the destruction thereof, to be the only available course of action.

[Cj_Shway]

wouldn't say it's messed up.
It's not something i do personally, but I don't see anything wrong with it

[Anonymous]

Depends if she is a modern or traditional woman. If she spends the entire date going on and on about the patriarchy and about how she doesn’t need any man to rely on, I’m letting that check slide and she can pay for her own sustenance, maybe even mine so we can fight the patriarchy together.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Only if he can’t already afford to.


There is nothing wrong with “letting her win”, that argument. Enjoy it. You won’t get very many other chances.

[Spongebobssocks]

No, i'd happily pay if I was on a date. Not every time but sometimes. You can take turns on who's paying or split the check.

[shades777]

Messed up how? This isn't 1940's, women have had the ability to purchase their own everything for decades.

[Twalli]

No, and now that girls work, she should pay sometimes. I say that a guy should always be ABLE to pay, but not expected, unless it is the first date.

[Anonymous]

No. I've paid for a date. It's nothing wrong with it as long as you're not always paying.

[Jamie05rhs]

No. Why the fuck should he pay?

[Asker]

That's how I was raised. Every time I go on a date with a guy, he lets me pay and when I tell my family about it after. My brothers always say, "I would never let the girl pay, it's nice that she offered but I would never take her up on it." And my parents say it's the right thing for him to do in paying for everything, paying for my company and being a gentleman. The way they act they make me feel like I am settling for chop liver because the guy lets me pay when I offer.

[Jamie05rhs]

If your family believes in those customs, and you agree with them, then date someone who also thinks like that. It's your choice.
But you don't have to follow everything your family says.

[roseloyaa]

No of course not

[Ironic_Method]

No, why would that be messed up.

[gag37627]

So you wanna free treat

[Ms_Facesitter]

No. I think it's fair.

[In_Trance]

Not at all