Should guys pay more than girls?

[ivydavis]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 5 months. We are together about 5/7 days of the week. He sometimes asks me to pay for our food even when I know he has enough money. I don’t have a problem with paying sometimes at all. But he seems to be getting more and more close to 50/50 pay. And I’ve told him that I will never do that and it isn’t my vibe. I’m a girl and it’s expensive to be a girl. I like the traditional roles. Now we are going on a trip to 6 flags and he asked if we can split gas even tho he’s driving. Advice?

[Anonymous]

He’s a split the bill kind of guy. He wants 50-50. You don’t. So you’re not compatible. There are guys out there who’ll pay for everything, never ask you for a cent and not even expect you to offer to pay. Wouldn’t even accept it if you did offer. So, if you want your man to pay for everything you can get that, but not with your man. You’d have to break up and find someone else. Even if you talked to your boyfriend it wouldn’t change anything, at least not in the long run. He’s not of the belief that he as the man should pay, and he’ll never be. You say he’s getting more and more close to 50-50 and that’s because he’s getting more and more comfortable showing his true colors and trying to little by little move you in the direction he wants (step by step so you get used to it and don’t notice as much). He won’t change and get a new core belief. So either you accept the 50-50 life or you swap man. Or simply refuse to pay for anything at all, just say no and don’t even discuss it when he asks for money or for you to pay, and then he can break up if he won’t accept that.

[Nikki1989]

You won't have much luck with that these days. Traditional men are in short supply.

[Anonymous]

So that means you’ll stay home, quit your job, and bear his children? That also means you’re a virgin yes? That also means you’re ok w taking his last name. Living w your parents till he ask your father for marriage. Get rid of your social media. I have no problem w being the man, which usually means financial as well. But something tells me you’re not really traditional. You just want what benefits you. Because if he told you you couldn’t go out w your friend to a club or bar, chances are you wouldn’t like that. If he said he didn’t like certain outfits of yours because they’re a little too revealing I’m sure you wouldn’t like that. A lot of women wanted independence, they wanted to be boss bitches, now they’re getting it. Surprise!!! They don’t like it. In this day and age you need to contribute your share. If you expect traditional than you need to be obedient to your husband.

[ivydavis]

I would be totally willing to do those things. I already don’t go out if he doesn’t want. I am naturally more modest dressing. I was a virgin before I met him. I would bear kids if we were married and I love to clean and cook.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s sounds good so far. But please explain to me how it’s expensive to be a girl? It’s expensive being a man as well if you’re expected to pay for dates, the house, the utilities, groceries, gas for the car, etc. Do you mean in the way of cosmetics, getting your hair done, etc? If so that’s your choice, it’s not a necessity.

[MrOracle]

Are you a traditional woman who brings traditional value to the relationship? Are you submissive to your boyfriend, and follow his lead? Did you choose a traditional man? I ask because I don't know the answer - obviously I don't know you.

But you can't expect a man to be traditional if you are not also traditional - and most women today are not traditional (there are definitely some exceptions, though). You don't get to have all the benefits of a traditional relationship AND the benefits of being a strong and independent modern woman who is career-focused and does what she wants. You get to pick one or the other, and you have to structure your whole life based on that choice - just like men do.

[OlderAndWiser]

Once again, I don't need to post an answer. @ivydavis, listen to what this man says.

[BarryLiverstone]

in my opinion no. Both people should contribute financially in a romantic relationship. But it shouldn’t be seen as the guy automatically must pay more. Instead each has the ability to contribute based on their resources and can choose to plan trips and dates based on their bank accounts. It’s reasonable for him to ask you to split gas fill ups on a big trip and if not gas ask you to get the tickets or the hotel.


But really this should be discussed now between you two as you have dated more than a few months and what you will expect moving forward. If you expect more traditional roles and he doesn’t that’s not going to go well the deeper into the relationship you go.



I know there are more costs to being a girl overall but also wouldn’t say a guy has to always pay. He should be able to invest money and give to the church as she does.

[ChicoFromThe305]

To be fair if you want traditional treatment you should balance that out for the traditional treatment he wants, maybe y'all can talk it out and come to an agreement but if you want him to pay for most or all, then I think you should fullfil a traditional role that he desires and you should ask and communicate about this situation and see if at the least y'all can come to an agreement on something.

[Redstang88]

Advice? Yeah, stop being a leach
I’m happy to treat a girl once in a while, and he if he makes significantly more it’s up to the couple to sort out who pays what, but he absolutely should not pay more “because he’s a guy”

[aceleon]

no.

if you don't like to be treated like a sex doll bang maid we don't like to be treated as a bank account and credit card.

[Billlewis]

No, we shouldn't pay more, w e should pay for all of it, every time.

[Anonymous]

I assume your boyfriend was the one who asked you out and hit on you