I can't talk to girls but she can talk to guys?

[Anonymous]

I'll start off by being honest, I'm in a situationship. I've been seeing this girl for about 6 months now and we're kinda dating but are also just friends? We like each other, having had our intimate moments, talk to each other every single day, fall asleep on the phone together, plan on getting married and having kids, etc.

Throughout the entire 6 months of me knowing this girl she has spoken to guys from her past and have spoken to other guys that are just friends from her past. I never made a complaint about it. It did bother me that she would speak to her ex so often but she would dismiss how I was feeling pretty quickly.

Recently, I asked her if I could reach out to a friend from the past just to check on them and see how they're doing and she became upset with me. She felt like I let her down. That doesn't seem very fair to me that she's able to talk to all these guys, some she's had a past with and some without, all the meanwhile never asking how how I felt about it. I mention that I want to check up on a friend that I knew before I met her but now I'm no good. I bring this up because she brought it up again during our conversation, she said that I must have been feeling lonely, even when I speak to her for me to want to reach out to that other girl.

How should I go about addressing this situation? I don't want to try to overreach because she's going to tell me that we're just friends... I don't know..

[Spade_01]

Bruh, her double standards are clear. You both aren't exclusive with each other so you're not confined to boundaries. The attachment and possessive feelings indeed come to play but she can't control you this way or act sad when you are seeing just a friend let alone an ex or a girl of potential interest. I'd suggest you see them anyway, doesn't matter what she feels because she's not considering your feelings either.

[Asker]

Thank you. The double standard is very clear. We're either confined to boundaries, or we aren't. The attachment and possessive feelings have definitely come into play. I feel like if I do speak to her, then I'm going to lose all that I have going with this girl :/. It's really a shame because I really like her, I just wish that she didn't treat me this way.

[Justaguyagain]

I am not familiar with the word "situationship", did you two had sex or at least kiss each other regurarly? If that's not the case, i have been there, and is not something i recommend. Regardless, you should be able to talk to your friends, specially if she does it, she can't be mad at that.

[Asker]

I agree that I should be able to my friends if she is able to speak to her friends.

[Nikki1989]

You both should be able to talk to whomever you want. Insecure people are not worth your time.

[Asker]

I do believe that not wanting the person to speak to other people stems from a place of insecurity. Thank you for sharing your input on the situation :)