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as a sapiosexual I have dated many many men but I have never had any feelings for them. The only person I had a crush on was a psychopath who did a rubicw cube in front of me. But obviously I can't date a psychopath. As any other sapiosexual women found it hard to find love.
I assume they run in to the same issue I run in to, when its all about looks and sex all you have to do is approach someone that you think is pretty and then be normal enough to get along. When you need intelligence from a partner, have certain things you want from a relationship such as the ability to have deep conversations and especially if you require traits the majority of singles do not share then you can't just pick someone out anymore.
You have to be lucky and somehow know their personality, and then if your extra unlucky and your in hobbies or a job that lack the opposite sex it becomes near impossible to find people locally.
So I don't know if this applies to women as much as it applies to men who seek a woman with depth that aligns with their interests / hobbies, but I can imagine there being a lot of overlap.
I find intelligence really attractive. I like a man who make smart choices. Who picks up things quickly like economics. or science. Who isn't easily manipulated. I find that sexy. Stupid men are veery unattractive. i sometime come across good looking men and they come out with something dumb like people are born to work and pay taxes. And I get put off verry quickly. Thats just an example. There are so many examples of men doing or saying stupid stuff.
My last girlfriend was sapiosexual. It never posed any problems, of course I happened to meet her specific criteria for clever yet clueless.
I do think it changed how you prefer to meet people. Rather than sweaty bodies on a dancefloor our first meetings were spent in heated conversation. And so that would be my suggestion to you: Choose a forum in which people can show their intelligence, whichever form of it attracts you, rather than conventional dating.
I am sure there are some rubics cube tournaments you could attend. They can't all be psychopaths! Maybe half.
That has been my problem so far most genius calculated logical people tend to be sosiopaths.
Sociopathic tendencies sort of come with the job description. Psychopath, while similar, does not as intelligence is often an acquired trait.
There are benign, high-functioning sociopaths. Most people mean well even if they have an easier time to do bad things emotionally.
Even so, starting with a pool of likely intelligent people has to be better for you than a random sample.
True I was thinking to get into mensa to meet men. maybe I will do it when i can be bothered to book the iq test.
Yea that why I didn't want to join because people can be arrogant.
Have you ever met an intelligent psychopath? That's what Dr. Hannibal Lecter was modeled after.
@BoopBoopBeep I have met some intelligent sosiopaths. I am not sure I would date a psychopath but a sosiopath I think there is a chance they still have some small amount of empathy in them. Maybe I wouldn't date them but I definitely would be attracted to them.
@BoopBoopBeep and Hannibal lecter isn't real. He is made up.
Right, but the condition isn't. And psychopathy is more prevalent than you may understand. About 1% of the population is psychopathic. They tend to gravitate towards the same fields.
Here's a list of the top ten.
www.indy100.com/.../10-jobs-psychopaths-ceo-police-lawyer-media-chef-clergy-police-journalist-8361256
@BoopBoopBeep psychopathy is different from sosiopaths. Psychopaths have a neurolocal condition. Sosiopaths are made that way due to abuse. For whatever reason they have higher iq. I think it's do do with genetic. People with higher iq are more prone to mental health problem and therefore more likely to neglect or abuse there child. By mistake due to their illness or on purpose.
@msc545 when they diagnose a personality disorder I think the probably look at the personality traits and behaviour. Especially the lack of embathy and a couple of other things such as how to the see themself are they entitled manipulation sometimes lies. But tbh I think doctors including psychologist are idiots for many reasons. And the people they end up diagnosing are not the smart psychopath and sosiopaths. I think they are out there making billions out of people minipulating not only people but possibly coorportaion and even governments. Those onse will never get arrested and never get diagnosed. I think what makes a sosiopath so distasteful of others is that other people have hurt them in the past. During their childhood maybe a friend of the family or a neighborhood saw what was happening to them and they did nothing. Things like that scar children. As for psychopaths this is something I need to research a bit more.
@msc545 ok mister clinical psychologist. First of all yes I do have link and second this is not the 1800s all the stuff you learn at you uni are now on the internet for everyone to see whenever they want so don't claim to have more knowledge than others. And yes clinical psychologist and doctors don't know what they talking about. If you don't want accept that then go ahead and trust them but then don't come crying when you get misdiagnosed or your brain is fried by antipsychotics or covid vaccines. By the way if you carryon insulting me I will block you.
And if you don't mind being the youngest person in the room. I'm the only one that isn't collecting social security around here...
Okay people. Lets get a few things right:
Hannibal Lecter is not a representative psychopath. He was indeed modelled after it, and a series of prolific murderers. But he's basically 20 different extreme personalities pushed into one. He is by no means or stretch of the imagination a realistic character - he is however a barrel of interesting to dissect in any psychology class.
Msc545 is not a clinical neuropsychologist. If he was he would know that Psychopathy is considered an innate, born with, trait and that Sociopaths are currently seen as products of their environment. He also would not ask for proof for what is basically the definition of the word.
Comparing past and present use, they used to mean the exact same with the distinction of innate/nurtured. In more recent times the narrative has changed and sociopaths are now generally seen as more impulsive and reckless. To the OP's credit one of the defining differences is that a textbook sociopath still experience empathy while a textbook psychopath does not.
If sources are actually wanted on this see DSM-5. Anyone even touching on the scope of diagnostic psychology or therapy will have one at hand.
Now lets stop the blatant lies and play pretend people.
I'm finding it hard to date because most guys have just "come out" relationships and just want to have fun!
This phase has been going on now for the longest time...
So I continue to be single, because they're not willing to even see if I'm decent enough to even be friends with.
I really think people that want that should consider paying for it.
But there's the mentality that sex is free, and if they're serving the world should jump on it.
Guys who won't be friends verry low level. The problem at the moment is that women accept guys bullshit and and allow them to disrespect them. I remember a time when women value themselves and loved themselves and didn't take men's bullshit. Times have changed.
Perhaps this is the problem. Who knows but I don't want to be someone's bike.
Then don't be simple. I rather be alone than be some dumb guys bike.
For the most part il say I am the same even that I am a bi so do roll to both sides
I will not say I find it too hard to find pepole I get attracted to as there many brilent minds out there
If you are bi you have more choices when it comes to brilliant mind. Myself I am straight.
Opinion
31Opinion
No, they don't, especially if they are not inflexible about age, race, height, etc.,
yes if they keep lying to themselves about all these irrelevant sexualities that have no evolutionary advantage except sound good on paper
you may be attracted to "smart" guys as you tell yourself but they still need to be hot first or at least you find them physically attractive
Yea well everyone is attractive in my eyes. Apart from dumb people.
Exactly, she wants a "smart" giga Chad. These guys don't find her attractive because she is average looking at best.
@KrakenAttackin not sure what that means in my eyes I am attractive and if a man can't see that he isn't smart therefore I can't be attracted to him.
This is not true, they can be hot but there is no physical attraction. As a demisexual, I have never been with good looking men but usually someone who is working with me or a customer I see everyday and start out as friends. They must first be stimulating intellectually for me to take notice then the emotion bond develops and thus the relationship. Be aware that intellectual does not mean a nuclear physicist but rather someone you can converse with on meaningful subjects. That is when the sexual attraction begins but not before. I could never figure out why women would comment on a hot bod and indicate she wanted to sleep with him. I always thought they were just kidding around.
I guess that depends on how smart you need them to be. The IQ bell curve will give you the odds if u divide by 2 and multiply by the population in your preferred age band. At 160 plus its about 0.0032%. If you are interested in men only that is 0.0016% of the male population. There are 10.97 million males in their 20's with an IQ above 160 as at 2021.
So there are. 175 guys for you in the entire US of A.
Not forgetting that some of them are already in a relationship and some could be gay.
I think mensa people are not actually smart enough for me. I need someone at least as smart as Tedd Bundy so above170 obviously not as evil as him bit definitely as smart.
tend to be pains in the ass. Also to be somewhat in love with themselves. I used to follow a guy like that around at a bar. Girls would think he was gay because of the self love aspect. They would prefer to talk to a normal guy like me who would stare at their tits.
You may not have much competition in other words.
No my type of smart is above this smart I think my ideal guy would even be too smart to join mensa. To get into mensa Its only 136 iq something like that my ideal guy needs to be at least 170 or even more.
*health
@msc545 If you have the frequency above a particular IQ than that will give you the approx number of people above that if you know the population size of males with the assumption there is not a significant variation between guys ans gals at the top end.
But you are right, I double dipped as I then found the population size of males in their twenties (assumption being JustMel120 is not interested in 70 yo mensas plus the assumption the bell curve applies across all ages). So yeah the number I derive is half what it ought to be.
Mensa level and above tend to fairly clearly understand the underlying assumptions and point those out as well as drawing back to fundamentals to reason from. That can be outside the box.
The only argument I won against a Mensa colleague was when I questioned his assumptions. by the way mensa type folk are equally capable of making huge stuff ups - I've seen them :)
Lots of people find intelligence attractive. You need to look in places where intelligent people tend to hang out: hint, NOT Mensa meetings.
Try to find online groups on interesting topics. I'm a space nerd, so I look for space / astronomy / rocketry groups. Had lots of fun talking to people at the last rocket launch I went to.
I´d say yes because guys are often bad at school and they often don´t find an interest in collecting knowledge. So guys tend to take jobs that don´t involve learning facts or things that can´t be used in every day life.
Guys develop different interests in gaming, sports or social media but nothing that´s intellectual challening. To be honest I think it could get even worse in the future if women outnumber in the academia.
Sapiosexual is just a shorthand for an asexual person who wants intelligent interactions.
Women who are not physically attracted to men are going to have an extremely hard time finding a man to be with, as almost all men want to feel physically attractive to their woman, and want to have sex, makeout, etc. (this includes most academic and creative geniuses).
It's not impossible, but it's very unlikely.
False I am not asexual I am definetly sexualy attracted to men just not dumb ones.
That doesn't make any sense.
If you find a smart guy, and you are sexually attracted to him, then after you find a dumb guy who looks exactly like the smart guy, you are either sexually attracted to both, or neither.
Sexual attraction is attraction to the body. You can be sexually attracted but not mentally attracted (and thus reject them), but you can't be sexually attracted to a mind.
I find lots of minds mentally attractive, as in people who are interesting to talk to or hear from, but attending a class on stem research isn't going to give me a boner.
You dont get it because your not sapiosexual. we find smartness sexually attractive. If A man is smart it makes me want to get involved with him sexualy. I appreciate that you desegree with it but it doesn't make it any less real.
Men take interest in intellectually stimulating things all the time. Video games, sci-fi, art, physics, chemistry, robotics and computers, software, math, ecology, astronomy, biology, etc.
I've never once met a guy who gets a boner from any of it, even for guys like myself that find that stuff very exciting and spend most of our time learning and honing our skills.
If a guy was like that, he would get hard at a lot of inconvenient times, I could see him being arrested in public before he has the chance to meet you, or at the very least being a social recluse, because any intellectually stimulating task would make him want to masturbate. Which, by the way, would interfere greatly with him learning anything, because having a boner makes even the smartest men temporarily dumb.
I don't think it is physically possible for an intelligent man to be sexually aroused by intelligence, lured in by it sure, but aroused? No.
Male arousal does not include thought (and even prohibits it). It is stimulated directly by basic senses like sight, hearing and touch.
We see a shape, a movement, or aesthetic, or we hear a voice, or feel something touch our junk, and its instantaneous, no thinking required.
There are even many cases where moving the wrong way while sitting or a windy day is enough to cause a boner. Hell, every morning men wake up with one, because its just that sensative to touch and we lay on it while sleeping.
Even if we hate a woman, because she's an asshole or a complete idiot, or because she just opposes everything we like, she can still cause arousal if physically attractive, because complex thinking it not part of how erections work.
With how often accidental erections happen from touch alone, If it happened any time I was mentally stimulated, I'd have a perpetual erection. After 4 hours that shit starts to hurt, and needing to ejaculate everytime I study sounds like hell tbh.
If you mean a guy who is aroused by intelligence, you may very well be s. o. l.
You don't get it because your not sapiosexual. Basically when I meet a smart man i am attracted to him. His intelligence his genius mind his way of making smart jokes. His way of life his the way they think even about life in geraral. That makes me like him. His look doesn't matter although most smart people have good taste when it comes to fashion and know how to keep healthy.
Talk for yourself. Not all men are you.
This isn't a matter of preference, its a matter of basic male anatomy.
Our bodies don't work that way.
Any guy saying otherwise is bullshitting.
I don't get this mentality obviously humain being have needs such as sex and hunger and thirst and even the need to use the toilet. The need to cry. The need to sleep. This is part of the humain body. But we are more evolved than animals. We live in a society in comfort and we are able to understand more than animals. Some men and women are attracted to looks including stupid things like plastic surgery some are attracted to intelligence. As for sexual desire it's just our need to make children kicking in. But it's like any other things like hunger or tiredness we should just keep it to our self. and men shouting about this all over the place is anoying really and no woman appreciate the idea of men staring at there body fantasising about having sex with them if they don't like them back. It's just as anoying as a dog humping your leg.
Does that mean you are attracted to smart guys? I’m
Assuming that based on the guy solving the rubix cube and the root word sapio - coming from the word Sapienta which in Latin means wisdom.
If so you will find it more difficult as society is intentionally dumbed down and superficiality floods society.
I have been to university and even there men were stupid. I just watched a documentary on women dying of anorexia and I can't help but think a man made them like that. I used to have many anorexic friends as child and there problem all came from a rejection or a crush that called them fat. Or being bullied for being bad. Myself I nearly became anorexic when a man called me fat and that was at uni. An adult saying this. A uni where people are supposed to be smart. I don't know what is going on but for a sapiosexual it's not easy to find love at all.
Education level doesn’t necessarily correlate to intelligence.
That's true but in this society that what we are made to believe.
I'm a sapiosexual man and I also find it hard to find love. Because so many women have gotten into past relationships with boyfriends who have taken advantage of them. And that is a sign of mental weakness in the girl that she would fall for that. So she's automatically disqualified.
So are you attached to strong women who never fall apart when they get emotionaly abused?
*attracted
Aw I get it you mean they are easily manipulated. Yea I not attracted to people who get easily manipulated l. But mistakes happen that how we learn. If they don't learn from it then they are stupid
@JustMeL120 Yes, I'm attracted to emotionally strong women who don't "fall apart." (Although that isn't what I was talking about.). But I don't think anyone should ever be emotionally abused; and if anyone did abuse her, I would comfort her and try to make her feel better.
Using women is manipulation and emotional abuse. I get what you are saying though smart women are less likely to fall for this.
And yes, I do find girls who are easily manipulated to be very unattractive. And no, I don't think you get a "mulligan." People are pretty informed these days; they just often choose to ignore wise advice that is given them. Because they are stubborn and arrogant. That's a very immature and ignorant attitude, and that's the main turnoff here. (I don't care if they were only 13 or 14; that's still no excuse. If you can learn algebra and write essays, then you can also make good life choices. You have the mental capacity for it, at least.) Them getting taken advantage of as a result of that is only a secondary turnoff.
@JustMeL120
"Using women is manipulation and emotional abuse.". And yeah; I fully agree.
Children are vulnerable and they are definitely allowed to make mistakes they need protection. Not sure what they have anything to do with the topic. This is a page about sapiosexual finding it hard to find love. Not about children making bad choices.
All this terms for sexualitet is dumb. You aren't sapiosexual you are just attracted to intelligent men. Just like the other 99% of straight women. It would be more different if you were attracted to low IQ people
*sexuality
Lol it maybe stupid but it's what our society is based on. I know admitting that I am a sapiosexual has helped me understand why I am attracted to hardly any men that I meet. When women who are attracted to looks seem to be attracted to more people. Before knowing about sapiosexual I was only attracted to verry few men and sometimes I even wonderedif I was alesbian or asexual. Now I know what I am I am not confused anymore
There is no such thing as sapiosexual.. because all women are. Its how we are wired. Women are wired to be with someone to look up to. Its human nature. 99% of straight women are sapiosexual. Hoes and LGBTQ stuff make more sounds in media so you think you are different too because they make you overthink everything. 15 years ago people didn't make up all these words and it wasent anything to overthink about.
With that being said I do understand what you mean. Its another time now.. sadly. I hope you find your smart partner!
@Red-Blaze yeah I understand that. But so are most women. If we talk biology. But I understand your point
@Red-Blaze all terms and dating stuff are stupid. There isn't one thing in dating that isn't stupid. The law do to with dating love and marriage is stupid locking someone up because they send an unwanted gift to someone is stupid. Taking someone children away from them through divorce is stupid. The terms used in dating such as ghosting or zombiing is stupid. Basically everything is stupid. So far the term sapiosexual is the least stupid term that I found. I am ok to associate with this because I am generally attracted to smart men. Maybe it's the normal way to be I don't know. But honestly being attracted to smart men is difficult. because there aren't many.
Alright well im attracted to brainomen. (Men with a brain). So I think we are smiliar. Best of luck to finding yours!:)
Dont take what I'm saying harsh. I hope you find the man you want! Im just saying my opinion on it
It's my experience that 99% of the women who say they're sapiosexual are NEVER as smart as they think they are and the big brain men that they lust after can notice it very quickly.
I've had it happen to me more than once already. Women who are into "smart men" and the second you start to talk to them you realize these "sapiosexual" wome are huge pseudointellectuals.
They is a difference between knowledge and intelligence. And we could say the same about looks. There are a lot of ugly guys who think they are entitled to hot women and get surprised when they are rejected
Yeah deflection won't work on me. I'm not a hypocrite. I know full well it's stupid, asinine and childish for an ugly ass dude to think he's entitled to the hottest woman in the room. Now what. What was your point? Or did you just want to flip the argument?
So to reiterate. Basic ass women with average intelligence needs to stop calling themselves sapiosexual and whining when they can't get the smartest guy in the room. If he's the smartest guy in the room then he's smart enough to know you're average.
Just because you are attracted to something you don't necessarily have to be the ting you are attracted to. That said just because you don't think a woman appears smart doesn't mean she isn't. Many genuis appear stupid. Einstein got kicked out of school and everyone though he was an idiots. That is just one out of many examples. And just because one or two sapiosexuals out there aren't smart doesn't mean that there aren't sapiosexuals who are.
Calling themselves "sapiosexuals" is a great way for women of mediocre intelligence, inflated self-esteem, and non-existant social skills to tell the world how smart they are.
No actually it's their way of tell the world how stupid they think men are in some cases. Myself I am a genuine sapiosexual I am genuinly attracted to intelligence. Some are fake of course.
Don't put sapiosexual on your online dating profile. I've got MENSA level IQ and sapiosexuals aren't interesting to us
I can't speak for other people but I think what attracts me isn't actually the iq itself. It's what people do with it. So the things they use there intelligence on.
There's heterosexuality, homosexuality (that is, deviants), and asexuality, and that's it. I really do wish people would stop making up words for things that aren't actually real.
I am sapiosexual and it is real. Why would gay bisexual and hererosexual be real and not sapiosexual.
False people are not interested in people intellect apart from sapiosexual. All I hear when I hear people talking about dates is things like is he hot or how big are his genitals. Most people are not attracted to intelligence. Its definitely a real thing only a few people are.
What I have noticed is that looks comes before any time in most cases. And honestly I haven't met many people attracted to intelligence and I haven't actually met so many intelligent people. Men I know would definitely choose a pretty woman over a smart woman. And women I know would definitely choose a good looking man over a smart man.
You are joking, right? Most men find dating women to be like dating a third grader wearing makeup.
Serious well it's their own fault for rejecting the smart ones with no makeup.
"Smart ones"? A genuinely smart woman is like a four-leaf clover, almost non existent.
Men are exhausted by stupid women.
I consider myself to be smart. I have hight Iq I am studying a degree in chemistry. I can code. I can play chess and I try to educate myself on many things. I do t really care about looks but I don't think myself as ugly. Yet most men
I know have rejected me. Men don't care about intelligence or true beauty. What men care about is makeup. Skinny gym like body and pump up lips.
@justmel120. You problem is not your intellect, it's your shitty attitude and choice in men. You are still chasing Chad when there are plenty of men like you around.
My problem is I don't have fake lips and loads of makeup and I spend most of my time learning science rather than at the gym doing sit-ups.
That's not the true. There are plenty of men who would love. to be your man... but those men are invisible to you.
If you find yourself dating dudes because you think they're intelligent and if you ALSO find yourself never having feelings for them, then maybe you're NOT so sapiosexual after all.
I am sapiosexual I date for the sake of dating. That's what post people do. The people I am attracted to are sosiopaths. I can date them for obvious reasons. My ideal partner might not be real. I have met smart people but in my head I picture a genius. Having a high iq isn't enough I need someone who also has creativity. Creative people with high IQs are more interesting that just someone with high iq. The iq test doesn't test for ceeativity it's meanly logical thinking.
US? Move to the west coast, what there is a surplus of single professional men.
Does being a "sapio", whatever that implies, mean you also date any sort of being, be it, male, female, whatever the fuck you i fucking dentify as
Your a person that claims to only be attracted to intelligent men but you was attracted to a psychopath. Yes he was really intelligent and I can see you are too!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Quit trying to put a label on yourself and quit overthinking it and try to find someone who makes you happy and who loves you for you. trying to find someone who you want to be perfect just find someone who doesn't judge you and who is mature
I don't know, but I can solve a 13x13 rubik's cube in front of you if you'd like.
Probably depends in what context. I guess with this guy I got the Rubik's cube out and he just did it like that thinking nothing of it then handled it back to me as if it was nothing and moved topic. I find that kind of sexy. People that can do hard things and treat it as if it's nothing to them.
I imagine there are a lot of trees you could find attractive.
Generally the reason women who are into intelligence don’t find partners is because intelligent men usually hold views that are contradictory to what women believe.
I found love but I did have a hard time finding it.
If you as a "sapiosexual" woman find it difficult to find a suitable match, imagine how difficult it is for sapiosexual men to find one.
Yea I just avoid people who use all that made up language. your either a man or woman, straight or something bizarre.
I can't relate. I'm asexual married to an amazing guy whom I love more than life
Maybe AI will help; you can get one of those virtual partners.
1 1=10,
Hey,👋👋👋 i'm an intelligent person here...
Lol 🤣
LOL= Lots of Love❤️❤️
As a sapiosexual, why not just go for a more intelligent being like AI?
What does the term 'sapiosexual' mean? Thanks
Attracted to intelligence
Quit making up sexualities and get a job🙄
Not all of them, but many of them. Men too
what does that mean
What is sapiosexual?
Attracted to intelligence
Probably
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