Girls, is having no experience the ultimate dealbreaker?

[Anonymous]

I’m asking because it sure seems like it is and that most women are turned off by inexperienced men.

Yes it is

No its not

Depends on his age

[Vesuvius87]

Prior to dating my 2nd boyfriend (now ex boyfriend), I would've said it doesn't matter but now I think it depends on his age. It's not really about the lack of experience being the dealbreaker but the other issues that comes along with it, odd behaviors and delays in other areas. At some point it becomes unhealthy even for a woman too.

When I started dating my 2nd boyfriend, at first I thought he was a respectful gentleman. He would tell me himself that I would never feel any pressure for sex or any further moves during the relationship and that since I'm a family oriented woman, it's better to wait till marriage.

Yet as the months passed by, things seem to good to be true. I felt some weird vibe (no chemistry, no further moves from him, no nothing) about him but said nothing. I felt as if I was dating a 20-25 year-old guy from college instead of a man in his 40's that's financially stable and ready to settle down. I just felt there was something off about him. At the age of 42-43, he still didn't have his act together, claimed he was broke but yet insisted on wasting money on a good restaurant (I would sometimes split the bill), talked about wanting to learn to play videos games and didn't even have keys to his house. His mother and sister had to answer the door for him.

[Vesuvius87]

So the issue isn't the virginity but rather the reason for that and how the person's character and personality is like. Generally (there are exceptions to the rule off course) people in their 30's or 40s that are still virgin aren't reserved out of choice nor very sociable beings. They actually have other issues, other delays in life. By the way they act and talk, you get those vibes that there is something weird about that person, that something just doesn't sound right.

[Asker]

So you’re basically saying that something’s probably off with me because I have very little experience at age 30?

[Vesuvius87]

I wouldn't be able to tell by just your post. I would have to know the guy in person, spend time with him, date him and then it would be obvious if he indeed has other issues or simply doesn't sleep around out of choice.

[WonderBell99]

Depends on his age. If he is 40 and still doesn't have any experience with women, I'd wonder what the hell is wrong with him. I'm not turned off by inexperienced men as I'm a bit inexperienced myself. Some women prefer more experienced men because they need not teach them anything and they know what to do and how to do things. You're still young, it's OK to be a virgin.

[Asker]

What about in your 30’s?

[WonderBell99]

I hope I'm not single by then. I'd prefer he has at least a little experience, I'd be ok with virgins, but not even kissed a girl? Yikes, nah. I'll pass.

[Asker]

So if he doesn’t have experience in his 30’s, the reason why he’s inexperienced doesn’t even matter because its just too off putting?

[WonderBell99]

Again, depends on how inexperienced he is. I'm not going to date someone who has never even kissed a girl and is well into his 30s.

[Asker]

What if he’s kissed a girl twice and had a couple sexual experiences in his 20’s, but nothing in years?

[WonderBell99]

That's fine.

[provokeesmokee]

I'm 33 and wouldn't consider dating anyone younger than 28.

However, I'd consider no experience a massive red flag.

I have still dated someone with little experience, my first girlfriend, but it did not go far. Partially because of this.

She had no idea she could be both gay AND asexual. She'd performed sexual attraction because she wanted to know me and found me charming, but ultimately she wanted me to be a friend.

She would've known this if she'd experimented earlier in her life. She was nearing 40 when I met her.

So for me, yes. A lack of experience is a red flag. Especially in someone my age or older. I'm not exactly a master at this, either, but I've at least tried three long term relationships.

[Nikki1989]

Virgins should just stick with other virgins, or it can get creepy real fast.

[Asker]

There’s no other virgins when you’re in your 30’s. That’s such useless advice because you have a better chance at finding a needle in a haystack than you do at finding a virgin girl in that age group.

[rafaklabae]

No I think it's cute. Its cause I don't have experience either so if the guy doesn't know things as well it will make me feel calm. But I dont know what happens with experienced girls:)

[Asker]

Experienced girls typically want someone who’s also experienced

[Anonymous]

no. everyone knows the lesser the baggage the better.

[itsalyssaagain]

No. It’s all about the way a man carries himself.