Is it true that shy men are a turn off to women?

[AlainD]

I've been shy my whole life specially with the opposite sex probably because I never had a sister but anyways , I've read online the shy men are viewed as pathetic by women because it translate as a lack of strength and courage and women look for a leader who will tell them what to do.

Obviously guys like me can't lead women because of our personalities, so I wonder if we are doomed to live in loneliness.

[Pinay_ako]

Not really… sometimes they’re more of a challenge and mysterious because I don’t know if he likes me or he just doesn’t want to be bothered. My second boyfriend in high school was one and it took me awhile to realize he liked me very much but I had to dig it out of him 🤣. When he finally opened up to me, he was one of the funniest guys ever.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the woman.

I was a shy guy, hell, worse. And I did what everyone else did at age 21. I went to the bars and the clubs and all that.

THOSE women don't like shy guys. I know because many women approached me, hit on me, chased me and so on.

However the moment they realized I was actually a shy weirdo, they moved on quick. They came at me with intent and left away from me with the quickness.

Looking back I understand why now. They don't want to have to teach me what they need in the bedroom. They want a man who already knows.

Now I could go to the club and pick up a girl easily. They like me already for one, and for two, I know what they want me to do with them in the bedroom.

I think most men are trying to be the man that gets the girls from the bar and the club.

But there's a whole world of women whose life isn't all about partying and shit. The normals are less strict with their needs.

[Part2603]

Obviously. The word "shy" has the connotation of dysfunction. There is no reasonable amount of "shyness".

And besides semantics, generally, women don't find passive men attractive.

[WonderBell99]

No, not at all. I think shy guys are cute. I’m shy myself, but I’m bold around my friends and those I’m comfortable with. It depends on whether he initiates at least some things though. I don’t want to look like a moron by initiating everything and not knowing whether he likes me or not. I can muster up some courage to ask you out, maybe even arrange a second date, but I’m not going to be the one actively doing everything. I don’t like men who are too passive.

[provokeesmokee]

Are we talking classic shy or "I'm horrified of emotion, connection, or intimacy and I refuse to speak"?

Because being shy is understandable and can be kinda cute.

Being emotionally stunted or driven by fear? Nah, I'll pass, thanks.

[AlainD]

That's extreme shyness, i'm talking about a bit of a blushed face and a bit nervous, nothing extreme.

[provokeesmokee]

That's not necessarily a turn of and some women would even prefer a guy like that.

[AlainD]

Nice, we're more loyal for sure 😊

[provokeesmokee]

No, you're not. You're just timid.

My first ex was also a shy guy and he cheated. You're not all the same and you need to internalize that reality.

[Anonymous]

In general yes. Women will tell you that they like shy guys but those guys are typically not shy. It's just the woman's perception that they're shy. Women SELDOM see men for what they really are. Because women seldom look at a guy in his entirety. They take one or two things about him a fabricate a story about the rest of him. This is why women typically make so many poor choices when omit comes to men.

[Phoenixxx1001]

Nahh I personally like shy guys and don't view them as pathetic at all

[AlainD]

We treat our lady right and would never cheat on her.

[Nikki1989]

They are not a turn-off, just a lot of work.

[AlainD]

Not me though

[Blueeyes81]

Shy and socially awkward often get lumped together. A lot of folks call themselves shy when they are just weird. Shy =not a bad thing. Socially awkward= huge turnoff.

[Nazgol]

I think there should be a balance. But yes, excessive shyness is not a turn on. I would want the object of my desire to be responsive and social with energy, not in its claws 24/hrs

[Massageman]

I learned WAAAAYYYYY too late that it wasn't- drat the luck.

[Beatrix7]

its quit cute actually

[AlainD]

Ok but Would you have a romantic relationship with one?

[ArrowheadSW]

Some women like it.

[Reem12345reem]

complete turn off for me

[AlainD]

Why?

[Kkoalalita]

It’s cute but to a certain point

[fonduegirl]

No. Not at all.

[Simslover92]

No its not true.