Are shy men unattractive to women?

Question

I read somewhere that women are attracted to the emotional strength of men and turned off by the weakness.

HiveBee · Accepted Answer

I was a shy guy who was also very attractive.

It destroyed my self esteem (what little I had as a lifelong social outcast bullied well into adulthood) when girl after girl after girl would approach me and try to flirt wirh me.

I was so socially fucked up from a life of bullying and isolation, that the girls who approached me would realize something was wrong.

They would look at me wirh a disgusted face and walk off. From then on, they would avoid me if we happened to bump into eachother again, and they would act or look as though I had done something sexually inappropriate.

I was ready to kill myself many times because I had no idea why girls were initiating with me and flirting with me, yet they would look disgusted and walk off.

But I was lucky enough that of the many girls who approached me, maybe 5 or 6 across a span of 4-5 years decided they didn't care and they pursued me and convinced me to go home with them.

I had sex with all of those girls at a time when I was sure I would die a virgin.

They really saved me because I was ready to end it all. All I knew was I was repulsive to women for some strange reason and I couldn't figure out why.

Now I know it was due to my complete utter social awkwardness and horrific anxiety I had that made it impossible for me to do anything.

If a woman approached me, I was not responsible for my actions. Not that I would do something bad. But that my anxiety was so bad that I even RAN AWAY from some girls who had approached me.

Saramad_Hill · Accepted Answer

As an unmanly guy myself, try to remember not everyone falls underneath blanket statements. Women are human, first and foremost. And humans are  diverse.  Even if 70% of women would rather a man take the lead and do that traditional manly stuff, that still means there's 30% out there who do not mind you as you are. Try to work on yourself, maybe shower or diet, or just whatever strikes your fancy if you can summon the mental energy to do it. You can't underestimate the power of a kind heart. Are shy guys  in demand?  Probably not. That doesn't mean you're at a loss here. Anyone who writes you off as worthless because you avoid confrontation is someone you'd be better off without. Oh, but also remember dating isn't everything. Friendships are incredibly important so don't interact with people if you're just wanting a relationship. Oh, and keep in mind I get a date like every one to three years, so I'm hardly a Casanova, but I'd rather die single with friends that would mourn me, than unhappily in a relationship. If I am fortunate enough to get another girlfriend, I'll be sure to match the effort she shows. Also at least six of my dates were initiated by women, so I'm going to use that as a basis that 'being shy isn't a death sentence for your love life. '  Also, I didn't get to date until I was 20, so keep that in mind, too. Best of luck out there.

menina · Accepted Answer

How come being shy is unattractive? Where did you get that idea from? That's not how I see things. There's nothing wrong with being shy.

So yes, a shy man could still be attractive. That's just part of his personality and it's not a big deal.

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

Way more attractive than extroverted & egotistical men.

m1tch3ll · Answer

absolutely if you're all shy and weird they aren't gonna see that and wanna spread their legs, it so simple to understand, legit watch everything other than porn or whatever shy guys watch where the shyguy gets the girl. the guy in the movies gets a girl because he's big he’s confident he's good at something thats real (being good at videogames doesn't count). dating is extremely competitive but its straight forward, be what a girl wants, you dont even need get to the specifics, legit have life goals go outside, be confident if your not confident go to the gym. thats another thing, the gym is literally the biggest exploit to being confident, confidence is about you, not about the girls or getting the girls, if you're fat (dont lie to yourself if you’re slightly overweight, if you’re slightly overweight you're fat) eat enough where you get nutrients to survive but not too much where you eat more than what you burn. if you're skinny and weak, legit polar opposite, but much easier when it comes to what you eat? eat as much as you can, focusing on foods that contain lots of calories, mix it with other food that have a lot of calories/nutrients. it is so simple. ik if you look at my age i am young but bro reply to this comment and ask me how to do what you needa do and ill try help you

Sodomite · Answer

Shyness is seen as weakness in men, thus most women will find shy men unattractive. However, there are some women out there who enjoy dominating their partners and seek out meeker men to fulfill their desires. They love nothing more than breaking down a timid man's walls and turning him into their own personal sex toy. These types of women revel in the power dynamic and get off on the idea of molding a weak man into their perfect little fuck slave. So, while being shy may turn off most women, there are those depraved few who can't wait to sink their claws into a blushing, stuttering mess of a shy guy.

Sonorous · Answer

Shyness isn't generally seen as a prosocial trait. Women on average prefer men to be social. At least social enough to where the men can communicate normally to others so that especially other men may respect him or even so that other women might find him more attractive.

Ofc, it matters differently relative to the person. We've all got different pros & cons about us to others. Some have more pros & others have more cons. If someone already has an overwhelming amount of cons, general shyness won't help their situation ofc.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

I believe that women can connect better with men that are more outgoing. A man that can initiate an intelligent conversation is a huge turn on for women. Most men with outgoing personalities are less threatening. Women that find shy men attractive can find it frustrating to get them to approach. Most men that are outgoing have a confidence level that women are looking for in a man.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not at all. They are just more work to deal with.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

There are women who like shy guys and think that they are cute.. But I would say generally women don't like shy men too much.. It's a lack of confidence and masculinity..

hassan9873 · Answer

Don't be shy.. it's that worth it.. try your best. You'll face rejection... But in time you'll get what you want.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Shy can be unattractive, but if you're just a quiet guy, I don't mind.

genericname85 · Answer

weakness and shyness aren't the same thing. women are not attracted to weak men. but shy is fine for lots of women. just how is she gonna notice that you like her? that's the issue.

Minahh · Answer

Cutely shy yes, insecurely shy no. Let me give you an example currently I have a crush on someone and they are clumsy sometimes, seem uncomfortable in big crowds etc. but I feel like he is a man with his shit together.

Anonymous · Answer

The "Shy Guy" has a new Level 1 account again.

Mansearching · Answer

Some women think its enduring. They're more human. I'm shy to a point. But it depends on what it is to be shy about.

constantine15 · Answer

If the man is handsome, she will think shyness is cute. If the man is ugly, she will think the shyness is creepy.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I think most are. Shy means timid and women don't like scary and sissy type men.

Lovesoad1 · Answer

Most men are unatractive. Not in looks in personality. My dream guy in looks had the most ugly personality. Arrogant, rude unkind.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

It depends on the woman. Women are not all attracted to the same thing, just like men are not all attracted to the same thing.

pickles77 · Answer

It can be worked on. I’m pretty quiet but a little effort with the right resources can go a long way

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. Because you're anxious. If you want to be attractive to women, be bold. Everyone knows that. don't try too hard though, trying hard is actually a sign of anxiety.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. But to be fair most guys are unattractive to women.

Simslover92 · Answer

Not to me.

Anonymous · Answer

Is he's too shy to tell me he's interested?

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Some girl like shy guys but mostly like clever nonhesitant

PresidentLucia · Answer

Yes. Its downright disgusting to us.

ÖyleBirGeçer · Answer

Yes. Its downright disgusting to us.

lilaccc · Answer

50:50

elizamichale1 · Answer

Yeahh

Worst · Answer

yes...

Ifitbtbtb · Answer

No..

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