My brother has dating problems and it brokes my heart... advice please?

[Anonymous]

I have a big brother who is 36 yo... he is such a wonderful person... I really dont know how he has this problem... He is decent and by decent I mean that he is goodlooking for me (but maybe thats because he is my brother and I love him) he's 6' tall, thin, blue eyes... he's attractive for me... He is a very successful man in his job, he is a pharmacist with his own pharmacy and earns a lot of money... what happens and that is true is that he is a bit strange, not in a bad way but he has terrible social skills... he really likes manga, anime and videogames... he loves Japan... his hobbies aren't much more than that, and that means he can't meet many people... I've told him that take advantage and go to the gym to go out but he is not attracted to the idea, he only goes for a walk from time to time and that's it. He lives with my parents and well, that's fine because in the end, why would he want to go to another place when work is close by and he doesn't have a partner or anything? But god... it breaks my heart to see him sometimes sad for not having found anyone... the truth is that I don't know but I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend and it destroys me inside... is there a way to help him? Can I somehow convince him to do other types of activities so that he can find someone? I know that surely he has tried and that I surely do not have much to offer but I really want to see him happy, that is the only thing he needs to be my role model, I love him very much and I don't know how to deal with this... How would you feel if your brother 10 years younger than you gave you advice or lessons on this? I don't know if I would help him or destroy him by giving him a blow to his pride... It's not that I'm very experienced, I haven't had a girlfriend or a serious relationship yet, but I want him to be happy... Any ideas? I just want him to be well and feel fulfilled... at least I want him to know Im with him and I don't want to hurt his feelings...

[petitedollbabee]

Even though living at your parents is convenient for him and his work, my first suggestion would be to have him move out and get his own place. A 36 year old man living with his parents is not attractive unless it’s for health reasons. But by the sounds of it, that’s not his reason. I can see that being a potential reason so to why he’s having no luck in the dating world. Also, his hobbies and interests aren’t a factor in why he’s having no luck. I know many gamers and weebs who have successful relationships without having to take up new hobbies to meet people. Maybe suggest to him that he should try meeting someone online rather than in person to start. There’s many women out there online who have the same hobbies as he does. Other than that, keep supporting him. Your advice can only go so far since you have no personal experience in that area, but your support for your brother is great.


The only thing that can stop him having luck in the dating world is lack of effort. There will be someone out there with the same interests as him. But finding his own place would be a good start. No woman wants to be with a fully grown man who still lives with his parents when he’s fully capable of moving out.

[Asker]

How would she tell him about it or at least let him know that "no woman wants to be with a man with her parents" information discreetly or without attacking him? Maybe he's with them because he doesn't want to feel alone...

[Selene1600000]

Just be there for him and show you care, not by pushing but by listening and supporting him.
If you give advice, do it gently and as a suggestion, not like you’re teaching him.
What matters most is that he feels accepted and not judged, because that will help him more than anything.

[inhua]

red pill him so he might want to make some changes in his life

from what you've described, he has a good baseline template being 6 feet tall with blue eyes which is already better than 90% of men. if he's smart he should take advantage of that and put on some muscle since he's thin. it's very important that he tries to look as physically attractive as he can possibly be as it'll solve 99% of his dating problems right off the bat due to the Halo Effect

while there's nothing wrong with his hobbies per say, men's hobbies tend to be heavily discriminated so he might wanna push them to the backburner for the time being and get other hobbies that would fit his new masculine look. sure some masculine-looking men like Henry Cavill who's a gamer can get away with having "childish" hobbies but it's not highly recommended to put those hobbies in the forefront

in essence he might need to fundamentally change who he is which explains why most masculine men tend to be stoic because he's no longer who he once was. you might not like who he has become but for his own sake it'll have be a necessary step for his own evolution and journey. hurting his feelings will no longer be his concern anymore

[Asker]

I understand the point of your perspective but I don't know if it's appropriate, a guy who has been alone for so long can't develop a hatred for women with that red pill thing?

[inhua]

not if it's done properly. a lot of men who are red-pilled are never introduced to it properly and therefore might go through a red-pill rage phase where they have to undo all the lies ever taught to them immediately when it's suppose to be a long process without interference.

think of it as taking medication. there's the person who takes his medication as recommended on the label and then there's the person who overdoses it

for example, a guy who falls in love with every one of his girlfriends and ends up getting cheated on by all of them is going to be more upset than someone who remains single waiting for whatever opportunities come his way and observing them

in your brother's case, it looks like a tough nut to crack like telling an obese guy who's always been obese his entire life to lose weight as opposed to a former athlete who is obese but knows and understands the importance of health and fitness

I would suggest trying to use hobbies and interests as a way for him to transition into other hobbies and interests like inspiring him to go to the gym to get a body like Batman or Goku

regardless of what path he takes or what methods you explore, he's gonna get red-pilled sooner or later given where he is now at currently and where you want him to go. it's for his own good anyway so might as well go for it

[Spongebobssocks]

Do you know the reason he hasen't dated? Maybe start with sitting down and asking him first? He might be afraid to come out or something else is stopping him. I'd start with talking with him first alone if I were you.

[Asker]

Well yeah but I dont know If he would feel comfortable, thats why I didn't ask him about it... but I supponse you are right with that. Its only that I am terrible in uncomfortable situations...

[Spongebobssocks]

I see. I'd still give it a try tho. Maybe it would be easier to turn it around. If you ask him for advice and see what he says.

[Asker]

Thats a good idea! Thats a good form of aproaching this subject! Thanks! I dont know what I'll say but at least now I know a form to start a conver about this...

[Spongebobssocks]

glad to help, hope it works out!