Is it ok to date a girl short term to sleep with her while dating other girls to find a long term relationship?

[Anonymous]

I went on a date with a girl and found out she’s working here as an au pair. She’s a great girl, but since her contract is only for a year, and she’ll be gone after a year, I don’t see a long term relationship possible for us. However, she’s quite attractive so I want to continue taking her out to sleep with her, while I keep looking for a long term partner. Is that an asshole move or ok? I believe she is looking for a relationship.

No problem with that

That’s an asshole move

[_Maya_]

As long as you are upfront about what you are doing and that you will be seeing other girls and she is okay with it then it's fine. It is only if you hide that from her and just use her for sex. That would not be fair to her in so many ways. She has a right to know if you are sleeping around for her own health and safety. So if you discuss everything with her and she is cool with it then go for it. She may not be though and just respect that and don't be deceitful.

[Asker]

What if I just proceed, and just let her bring it up. If she was uncomfortable about it, she’d probably say something right?

[_Maya_]

Let her bring up what?

[Asker]

Let her ask if I’m seeing other girls.

[_Maya_]

No you need to be upfront for the reasons I stated. She has a right to know. Even if for sexual health reasons.

[meetkitty123]

That's an ass of a move. I know a girl that was here under the same circumstances and she became very close to her boyfriend so she did go back at the end of her year but then she straightened out her paperwork and she came back and she's living here with him so just because she's going to be here for a year and doesn't mean there are options to return. You shouldn't lead people on it hurts.

[Avicenna]

It's only OK if she explicitly agrees it's OK. It doesn't sound like she would, so don't deceive her, which is very much a dick move.

[kylee2437]

If you believe she’s looking for a relationship, yes you would be an asshole for leading her on just because you want to sleep with her. That makes you a fuck boy and not relationship Marietta in the slightest

[kylee2437]

Material *

[Asker]

She never specifically mentioned wanting a relationship.

[kylee2437]

You said you feel like she may be looking for a relationship, so if you feel that way chances are you already know you are doing something wrong. Why do you think fucking a girl while looking for a relationship from another is relationship material anyways? It’s a double edged sword because if you were honest you wouldn’t be perceived as relationship Material but lying also makes you not relationship material

[Asker]

Because sex is nice. If I was in a committed relationship, that girl would be my only sexual partner.

[kylee2437]

You aren’t getting it, you are actively showing signs you aren’t relationship material. You are giving out a bad message as to why the girl you want to commit to in the future shouldn’t commit to you and that is because you are using one girl for sex meanwhile trying to get intimate with another for different motives.

[kylee2437]

And not to mention the cycle will continue on if you aren’t infatuated with the girl you wanted to be in a relationship with at one point. You are giving a narrative you use people for sex

[Anonymous]

[Jazzy54]

No. Pick one.

[Asker]

Why?

[Jazzy54]

What’s your plan? Break up with the nanny once you’ve found your true love? Too much unnecessary drama, if you ask me. Therefore, just pick one.

[Asker]

That’s pretty much the plan.

[Jazzy54]

Okie dokie. Good luck with that. 😊👍🏾