I need clarity on my feelings if you can answer me questions below?

[Anonymous]

I need some advice guys so So I don’t think about my old school crush any more who I liked since I was 12 up until 25 , as I’m now interested in other men as crushes but one thing I’m confused about is when I’m outside and near my old crushes house or his area I’m scared to come across him and I don’t want to see him I feel scared and I want to avoid him and his road , I wanted to know why would this be the case if I’m now starting to have crushes on other men like different men at a time which last not very long these crushes as I jump from one crush to another , but I also have this fear when I’m outside that what if I bump into my old crush and I feel anxious why is this the case?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

You may be afraid to emotionally let go of your first crush, so this happens when you pass by his place, but it could be many things.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Sevenpointfive]

does brandon t. w. even live there? No. he doesn't. your thoughts are taking over and are irrational.

[Asker]

Yes he does live one road away from me sherlock lol 😂

[Sevenpointfive]

have you said hi to him yet? it's been awhile

[Asker]

I’m really shy and nervous 😩

[Sevenpointfive]

one of these days when you're not feeling very shy it will be the day to knock on his door and express your love for him. i just hope it's not 13 years from now

[Alli39]

You were probably really emotionally dedicated to this guy since you crushed on him for so long. You probably feel a bit disloyal to him and your former feelings by allowing yourself to show interest in other men. Basically, you might just not be as over him as you think on some level. But seriously, pursue other people. A relationship that never appeared in over a decade of emotional dedication probably isn't going to happen and fostering connections with other people will probably help you stop feeling this way. Just remind yourself that looking for someone new now doesn't dishonor him or the feelings you had for him in anyway. That will always be a part of you, it just doesn't have to be the most important part. The guilt is unnecessary.

But also part of your crush jumping may be because you're still comparing them to him or because you're still hanging on to the idea of him. You might need to take some time to work through your feelings a little before you manage to settle or you might just need to really focus in on how the new person/people are different from him, but in good ways. Maybe take a minute to think about some of your crush's flaws etc. You probably romanticized him pretty heavily to like him for that long, so maybe give yourself a reality check.

But mostly, just know that you're probably feeling guilty and you definitely don't have to.

[Pudsmucker]

Years ago when I was about your age my then fiance broke up with me. She didn't give me a reason why she was breaking up with me. I just got a phone call she said I don't want to see you anymore. I was loyal to her. The anxiety level was so high with me each time I drove by her residence and employment. One day I was crossing the street at a crosswalk and she was driving by and she almost hit me. That made me even feel worse. I graduated from the program that I was in and I finally moved away. I slowly got over her. It has been 48 years since that terrible break up. I am now married to a beautiful woman for the last 45 years. I do think of her sometimes and what had happened. I do wish I had closure. A breakup is like a big huge cut in your body and eventually the cut hills believe the scar behind. I do look at that scar and reminisce. The answer to your question is yes you still remember him, yes you'll be okay.

[Asker]

Wow thank you for the advice and hope you are happy and living a blessed life.

[SnowedIn]

Perhaps this is the final stage of letting go of that former crush and the anxiety is part of that.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer I just wanted to say the problem is since the day I started to like him
I’ve had anxiety towards being in his presence and avoid him. Why is this the case?

[SnowedIn]

So he's your crush and you've had anxiety for 13 years?

[Asker]

Yes he was my crush from 13 years ago since school and I still have that anxiety I don’t know why I can’t understand it.

[SnowedIn]

This needs more assistance than I can provide. This is not healthy.

[Asker]

Yea I understand what you mean thank you for trying to help though appreciate it.

[SnowedIn]

You're welcome. In all seriousness, perhaps some form of counseling? You deserve a life without anxiety.

[Asker]

Hi yes I am on the waiting list for CBT therapy tbh I hope it starts soon.

[SnowedIn]

Oh good for you! 🙂 Well done!

[WhitneySnow]

Going near where he lives makes you think about him again

[Asker]

Yes and I feel scared to come across him and I want to avoid h why is this the case if I can have some advice?

[WhitneySnow]

I don't know why you would be scared of seeing him

[Asker]

I also don’t understand if now I crush on other guys and these new crushes change from one man to another very quick, why do I still have anxiety about the old one.

[WhitneySnow]

I guess you still really like him?

[Asker]

Sometimes I say yes I do but other times I’m confused cuz I haven’t seen him for a long time

[bowenw]

I think that is normal. It can be awkward for a lot of people to run into exes and old crushes.

[collie22]

Do you have several crashes going on at the same time?

[Asker]

So with regards to several crushes lots like one crush after the other in less than 3-7 days but then when I come to realise the boy who I liked from a long time ago is at the back of my mind and I still avoid him when I’m near his house and don’t want to see him. I feel anxious

[collie22]

Often I crush on a boy I see around and a girl I skate with. They do make me nervous.

[Asker]

The feeling never goes away I don’t know what it’s trying to tell me