Rejection because of different life goals, just an excuse?

[Anonymous]

I got rejected after first date because he realized we have different life goals. His whole energy changed after our first date. He didn’t even try to see if he could’ve came to agreement about our differences.

[Anonymous]

Hun, you’ve posted about this many times, I don’t think you’re doing the work to get over this guy. You only had a first date, even if you talked for a little while before, why are you dwelling on this? You just weren’t a match, it doesn’t mean you’re ugly, unattractive or any of that, so don’t equate his rejection to your value as a woman. Stop letting this destroy your self esteem and hurting like you’ve lost a long term partner. Let it go, you will find success eventually.

[jeffend888]

You’re in your 30s. He’s not going to waste his time with someone who isn’t aligned. I wrote an entire post on how you need to be aligned in life in order to have a successful marriage. A guy who knows what he wants really only needs one date to see if you’re aligned. And if you’re honest with yourself, you can make this decision pretty quickly.

[Asker]

So it wasn’t about attraction/ chemistry?

[Asker]

He didn’t even try to see if compromise could’ve made or I changed my mind.

[jeffend888]

People in their 30s don't have the time to wait and see if you can change your mind.

[Avicenna]

That's actually a very good reason to not date someone, especially if you can tell on the first date.

[Asker]

After the date he sent me long paragraph. He said while breaking things off” I’m very sure that you’ll find one beautiful day the right one because you’re very nice person and have a good heart “
He also said “ I really believe you’ll find someone more compatible very soon”.
does he pity me?

[Asker]

Also during the date he was talking a lot but couldn’t even make eye contact with me…

[lorenzomichael]

Listen I wouldn't worry about it. If he's in his 30s and he hasn't reached any of them yet, he probably won't. He's just trying to play catch up now. Keep your goals simple but within reach, one at a time, slowly but surely you'll achieve every one of them or most of them. With enough life in you to enjoy them.

[Hithere4567]

Rejection can happen for a million reasons. I've been rejected for other things besides life goals. But if he didn't even try then he's not worth it.

[Asker]

As a guy what do you think about his reason? After the date he sent me long paragraph. He said while breaking things off” I’m very sure that you’ll find one beautiful day the right one because you’re very nice person and have a good heart “
He also said “ I really believe you’ll find someone more compatible very soon”.
does he pity me?

[Hithere4567]

I don't think he pities you. I just feel that you both may have not started common interests. Like make the spark just want there.

This coming from a guy where almost the same exact thing happened to me with a girl that I went on a date with.

[Asker]

But he said it was because of different life goals. He didn’t say anything about chemistry etc

[Hithere4567]

Did he go into any detail at all?

[Asker]

When I asked him what future goals didn’t align he said “ just in general level they don’t align”

[Hithere4567]

Then I would move on if he can't even give you any specific reasons.

[Anonymous]

Does it really matter? He made his decision. Women do this to. Tell is it worse then spending a multitude of dates only for him to arrive at the same conclusion.

[Asker]

After the date he sent me long paragraph. He said while breaking things off” I’m very sure that you’ll find one beautiful day the right one because you’re very nice person and have a good heart “
He also said “ I really believe you’ll find someone more compatible very soon”.
does he pity me?

[Opinion Owner]

Does it matter?

[shortster]

It depends on how different the goals are. More likely is a difference in values.

[Asker]

He didn’t want to specify what exactly didn’t align when I asked him. He just said “ just in general level they don’t align “

[shortster]

My guess is that his goals were a ONS or friends with benefits; but just didn't want to admit it.

[Asker]

He’s religious and muslim. I think he was looking for a wife

[shortster]

That doesn't preclude him from wanting a ONS.

[Asker]

Can guy later change his mind and want relationship

[shortster]

Possible, but not likely.

[DextroShade]

You are going to need to be more specific.

[In_Trance]

It's legit

[Asker]

Why do you think so?

[In_Trance]

How are you ever going to make it work if you're focused on different things?