How can I behave in a way that'll make girls like me?

[ValeriusDover]

Basically, I'm wondering how I'm supposed to act in a way that'll be seen as attractive by girls. I want detailed answers, not vague ones, which seem to be all that I'm getting elsewhere.

[andreasderjuengere]

You should first determine your 'target group' - there are just too many girl types around with quite different 'expectations'.

And after you then have made yourself a robot for others, you'll find that you have lost yourself.

If you have the impression that right now you are NOT liked - figure out what that is. Remove it.

And there will only be things left that make you 'likeable' for enough ladies in your reach.

Don't ''follow'' - have own personality. Be your individual role model.

[ValeriusDover]

It may have something to do with my personality, but I can't figure out what it is. I have confidence, I'm hilarious, I take control socially; as far as I know I'm everything a man is supposed to be.

[andreasderjuengere]

Do you feel 'liked' by some, or do you not? ... I mean: we cannot please simply everybody

[ValeriusDover]

Some people in general can like me enough as a friend, but only on a surface level. No one is interested in getting to know me beyond that. There's no question that no girl has ever been interested in having me as a partner.

[andreasderjuengere]

You may appear as if you're not too interested yourself perhaps.

[ValeriusDover]

Well, that's intentional. I don't show my cards before they shows theirs.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe you don't want to hear the answer, but you should act like yourself, be relaxed and confident, not be pretentious, and just show a girl who you really are. That will make your partner feel relaxed and comfortable and that's a big plus.

[ValeriusDover]

The problem is, I don't have a partner. Being myself hasn't worked.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe the way you are searching for a partner needs to be revised.

[ValeriusDover]

I try to meet them in person, through hobbies and courses. I could never do that online thing that's all the rage nowadays. Tried it, definitely wasn't for me.

[OlderAndWiser]

The majority of people meet their long term partners online. Maybe you need some help with how you approach online dating.

[ValeriusDover]

Problem with the online thing is that I got zero likes, which is apparently unheard of, the one time I did try to use it. Furthermore, I didn't really find anyone I liked. I can't just like someone at first sight like that, not even in person. I need to get to know someone first.

[OlderAndWiser]

Right. That is what dating is all about: getting to know someone.

[_Maya_]

Well be yourself for one. Don't try and be someone that you are not. I hate fake. You are not going to appeal to every girl as much as I will appeal to every person but being yourself will yield the best chance at a good relationship because she will like/love you for you. Some thing I look for in a parnter are confidence, manners, humor and down to earth. Will every girl want the same thing? No and that is my point about being yourself.

[ValeriusDover]

I've tried acting like myself, that's pretty much my default. It's not working, hence why I've come here asking for advice. I have plenty of confidence, to the point where I tend to talk over and socially overpower other people. I have a decent sense of humor, though people in the country I live in don't really have it. I'm honest and speak my mind with no filter. Aren't manners for suck-ups, though?

[_Maya_]

I was just saying what I personally look for. Not every girl will be the same. Manners are for suck ups? What lol?

[ValeriusDover]

I mean, having manners just screams "nice guy" to me. The guy who was the teacher's pet. Nobody likes these dweebmeisters.

[_Maya_]

Oh lordy. So you think being a nice guy is a problem. Good luck to you then.

[ValeriusDover]

So, you're implying it's not a problem? The fact that girls don't like nice guys was one of the first dating-related things I learned way back in late Elementary School. Which is why I always tried to be the opposite of nice.

[HelpfulWoman]

Honestly, reading your replies gives a big insight.

You sound a bit incel-y. "as far as I know I'm everything a man is supposed to be" for instance. You're also 27 if your account is to believed, and you care this much on a relationship label. It shows almost insecurity. So maybe you're not actually ready for a relationship of that nature.

[ValeriusDover]

Nah, incels are a bunch of racist, sexist losers. I can't even understand half the lame-ass stuff they say, they use a bunch of lingo I'm not familiar with and I don't care enough to learn. I hate a lot of people, true, but I'm equal about the way I hate people.

I'm 27 and have never had a date, let alone a relationship. I don't see how it's abnormal that I'd be a little bit more than mildly concerned about that. Yes, I'm insecure. It's easy to be secure if you have the validation of people liking you, but I've never had that.

[katiesmuff]

At your age if you don't know how to act in general then you have a bigger problem than trying to get girls to like you.

[ValeriusDover]

I know how to behave outside of a romantic context. I've got everything else down just fine. People tend to give me more leeway due to cultural differences, anyway, so I'm not worried about anything else. This is just the one thing I can't seem to figure out. What I read online doesn't seem to match up with what I see right in front of me.

[Sub_Girl]

Be a tough man that's has his way with girls!

[ValeriusDover]

The word for that is rapist. I may be a cold blooded sociopath, as a man should be, but I have my limits.

[Sub_Girl]

Not rape if the girl loves it

[ValeriusDover]

You're like 20 steps ahead of where I'm at, though. I can't even get a date. I do treat people like dirt, though apparently that's not enough.

[Sub_Girl]

I just want my man to pin me down and have his way with me!

[ValeriusDover]

Good for you, I guess.

[Sub_Girl]

Most women love it, so it's a turn off to be too nice and sissy

[ValeriusDover]

Hey, I hate sissies just as much as anyone else. I have never been nice. Every time I see one of those guys and their stupid smiles it makes me wanna blow their faces off with a bazooka.

[Sub_Girl]

LOL cool

[Anonymous]

If you haven't figured this out by age 27 I don't think you can.

[ValeriusDover]

Hey, look, it's the same bullshit answer I always get.
How am I supposed to have figured it out when every single shit-for-brains know-it-all gives me that exact same unhelpful non-advice? If you think you're so much better than me, than why don't you come out of hiding, you anonymous coward?

[OddBeMe]

How? Befriend them. Learn to like them. Learn not to be nervous around them.

[ValeriusDover]

I don't act nervous around them. I treat them just like any other person, as long as I have a reason to talk to them.

[OddBeMe]

(Shrug) that’s usually what cripples us…overeagerness. I just know having tons of girls as friends was a boon to that once I got to college.

[ValeriusDover]

I don't have tons of girls as friends. I literally only speak to them if they address me first. How is that overly eager?

[Anonymous]

Be yourself. If the woman doesn't like you, move on till you find someone that likes you for you.

[ValeriusDover]

I've been myself my whole life. It hasn't worked.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok you're the problem

[ValeriusDover]

Oh, sure. Just label someone a problem and then they'll magically go away. I've been an asshole my whole life, just so you know. I want to know details, though.

[Opinion Owner]

Well you said you're an "asshole" so I'm assuming those women don't like that toxic character about you?

[ValeriusDover]

It's a fact that women like assholes. The overwhelming majority agreed with me when I asked that question. What I'm trying to figure out is what I'm missing. It's possible that I'm not enough of a jerk, or there could be a step I haven't considered at all.

[Opinion Owner]

... are you autistic or something? You ask a question on GAG and you think that's how the the entire female population thinks. 🤦‍♀️

[barn_stormer]

be good looking

[ValeriusDover]

I figure that's one part of it. Can you confirm whether I'm screwed or not if nobody has liked me before?

[barn_stormer]

you are screwed

[ValeriusDover]

So, you're saying that if I was attractive, even if I had literally never talked to a girl, let alone asked one out, I wouldn't be here asking this?

[barn_stormer]

most likely. if you were attractive girls would ask you out

[ValeriusDover]

Well, I guess there's nothing to do but end it. It's what I suspected. I wanted to believe I had a chance, but I guess not. People treat me like a freak and I'm sick of it.

[barn_stormer]

people treat you like a freak? you're that bad looking?

[ValeriusDover]

I can't objectively judge how I look myself, I only have other peoples' reactions to go off of. My friends and family say I look fine, which would be more believable if they didn't say I was above average in looks. Other people treat me like I'm Frankenstein's monster or something. Guys are always trying to start shit with me because they think I'm an easy target. They back down pretty much as soon as I open my mouth, probably because they assume I carry a gun just because I'm American or something. Girls can never look me in the eye and always laugh at me when they think I don't notice. They can't even string two sentences together with me, a clear sign of discomfort. I'm hated just because of the way I look. I am sorely tempted to live up to their expectations.

[barn_stormer]

post a picture on here and we can judge you

[ValeriusDover]

I don't know how to post pics here. I have posted my pic on other sites, though. They mostly just said I looked angry, even though I was wearing my neutral expression. So, I apparently look a freaking nutcase to people.

[barn_stormer]

they said you look angry? maybe that's why girls are weird around you

[ValeriusDover]

It's better than wearing a dumb smile on my face like some "nice guy". Why would girls be bothered by a guy who looks angry or tough? Isn't is better than the alternative?

[barn_stormer]

they might be scared of you if you look angry

[ValeriusDover]

That's the implication I got from the comments on my picture post. As a guy, I feel like I'm dead if I do, dead if I don't.

[barn_stormer]

well at least it means you're probably not ugly. just angry lookin

[Anonymous]

Stop being a beta nice guy.

[ValeriusDover]

Dude, have you read anything I've written in here? I hate nice guys. They're a bunch of sycophants. I've never been that guy. I've treated people like shit my whole life. I threaten people if they disagree with me. I mock dead people in front of their friends and family. I vandalize the posts of the "homeless". I take great joy in watching people suffer and even greater joy in being the cause of it. The only reason I even want a relationship is so I can take control of some pathetic loser's mind, dump her, and drive her to suicide. The only thing I care about is power. I hate humanity and everyone in it. I'm here to watch the world burn.