I quite often get guys looking at me, I know I'm not too bad looking. Why do they look at me and smile when we make eye contact but they never approach me, what can I do to change that?
P. s I do smile back at them and try to seem open even though I'm shy.
You’re young so it will take you some time to develop your spidey senses to sense what men are thinking. But being a female you will usually develop more naturally vs. guys your same age.
Anyway here are things to make women less approachable and how to improve.
- having resting bitch face. Older guys can understand the difference but younger guys get don’t know it. Just smile more if you can help it.
- dressing too uptight (but don’t do the exact opposite). So if you wear slacks and a long sleeved shirt it might come off as “I don’t want any male attention at all. I just want to focus on serious stuff”. But dressing classy yet feminine (appropriately lengthened skirt and comfortable tops) makes guys more comfortable. Dress how you would for a summer picnic.
However do NOT go overboard with revealing yourself. That will attract the wrong kind of attention from the wrong type of guys. You are also still a minor so be cautious.
- use light makeup. Zero makeup isn’t great but too much makeup actually makes guys nervous as well. When women put too much I get the feeling they really want the attention for the sake of attention and are hypocritically over defensive if they guys want anything more. Personally I’m less likely to approach women who wear too much
- say hello to guys you like and smile. If they like you they usually will start a conversation.
Don’t say hello to guys you don’t like BUT just be surface polite/courteous if they politely say hi to you first. Acknowledge them but don’t indulge them.
- don’t “tease” guys you like unless you already know them well and/or are for sure they can handle it.
I’ve had girls who secretly liked me always start off by poking fun at me about something. This lead me to a catch22 situation. I was left wondering to myself “does she only see me as a friend but not attractive so she feels confident and comfortable teasing me”? If I think she’s attractive that’s a horrible situation. Or is she the “fun combative” type and gets turned on when I tease or even insult her back? Some women love the drama of arguing. That’s not for me. Not a good way to start things out in most scenarios.
Good advice, thank you for taking the time to reply. 😊
No worries. I remember being 17.
The grand old age of seventeen 😂
What I've noticed with a lot of women is that they either avoid eye contact, never smile, or always appear busy. As in, they're always moving around, they have their earbuds/headphones in, they're buried on their phones or they're with friends. It seems like the first two aren't necessarily an issue for you. But to appear more approachable, you have to remove all barriers to yourself. Take out your earbuds, put your phone away, ditch your friends, stop moving, and don't stay too close to people. No guy wants an audience to his approach. Basically, your body language has to say "I'm here waiting for you, no one else is around, and you have my undivided attention".
Very good advice, I'll try it sometime. 😊
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41Opinion
Smile, eyebrow raise and speak up. Say “hi, can I help you?”
Believe it or not, guys are "afraid of rejection". You can sugar-coat it any way you want, but that's 90% of the concept in a nutshell
Try this- - - - - Ask us guys to help you, about a "guy " thing.
At the hardware store, "where are the Phillips' screwdrivers?" (they're the ones with the "4-point star")
Food store, "how can I pick a good watermelon?" (no smell; a moderate sized, light patch on one side shows it ripened up a bit in the field. Tiny patch, underripe. Huge patch, overripe, maybe even stinky.)
Paint shop, "why would I want a shiny paint?" (the shinier and glossier the finish, the more durable and scrubbable it should be. My rule of thumb is to use the dullest finish paint that will be serviceable enough for your needs).
(advanced flirting). At the driving range, "can you help show me how to hold this club?" Have him put his arms around you, and- uh- you can figure out the rest. ;- )
Good luck.
Ugh ahaha I've been In this situation, you sound really cute by the way you describe your actions. I think maybe walk past them and give a solid stare as you walk past they will probs start a convo. It's 1000× less likely to be rejected as a cute girl than it is as good looking guy, so the guy has more too lose, that's why a lot of guys are pussies cos after multiple rejections their guts don't wanna be hit with another blow. We know you want us too be strong but being humans our emotions take a toll aswell from being the initiators lol
Thank you 😊
Also I've seen worse spelling.
Back in the day men would go outta their way to approach women be chivalrous, kind and yes even gentlemen like but not anymore sense one word from a woman be it a lie or not and guy is in deep shit women are a hell of a lot likely to be believed. Women its innocent until proven guilty men its guilty until proven otherwise its happened to me where women did not like me talking to them and falsely accused me of sexual harrasment. But hey im a autistic man so of course they are gonna believe the cute rich woman people with autism will always be oppressed in society. However how about you approach them with today's climate its unlikely men will approach women unless in a group.
1. You're 17, and you might look younger than you realize.
2. Men are afraid of being wrongfully accused, #metoo, or going to jail over a girl.
3. It's 2022, approach him.
Yes that could be part of it, I find that it's actually the guys my age who are less likely to approach me, could just be that I'm at an awkward age.
Oh my god, this is the exact problem guys face!!!
You are so thoughtful! Thanks for asking the question! I like it very much.
Ahw thanks 😊
Most girls I see walk round with a resting bitch face honestly doesn’t hurt to smile does it😂😂they could genuinely be the nicest person but look like a brat so I’d say just try to smile 😂
I think I probably am smiling about ninety percent of the time but it doesn't seem to make a difference. 😂
If u think a guy is looking at u, it doesn't hurt to go talk to him urself. They actually think that is more attractive. A confident woman. U don't have to be boastful or loud, just walk up to whomever and say hi! Guys are shy too u know. They just try to act tough to cover up the ego.
Why don't you just walk up to the man that you're trying to approach and just say hi don't be so shy it's not that hard just come up to me and start talking if you're interested otherwise I will never know
Do you do that with girls?
Absolutely and sometimes I just jack off to her
OP is 17, dude. Chill out.
A gentleman would only think a girl is unapproachable if she looks busy with something. If you are listening to headphones or have your head buried in your phone then guys are not going to approach. Or if you're talking to a bunch of your girlfriends. No guy wants to have to interrupt a bunch of women to talk to one girl. That would be awkward for anyone except a complete narcissist.
If approaching them is too hard, do you believe you have it in you to wave them over when you're caught in an eye-contact-and-smiling match? It's a pretty straightforward way to say you would like them to approach you at some point.
I don't know, I usually just keep making eye contact and smiling but even that makes me nervous especially if he's very good looking.
Instead of thinking about how to be more approachable, why don't you learn how to approach?
After all, men now adays know that if they approach and it's not wanted there could be legal consequences. Therefore YOU should approach. 😊 Have fun.
I don't think it has much to do with you. It's just that you are probably very attractive and they they don't have the confidence to talk to you. They probably think you have high standards and you wouldn't like them
Is there a way to make it look like I'm not as hard to get?
Perhaps if you smile back to the guy and saying hi. If it's a shy man he probably wouldn't take the first step. Yiu may start with a simple joke to break the tension
I always smile back, a joke is a good idea.
It's not a YOU problem. If guys feel approaching a girl is too high risk, they won't do it for fear of rejection. No one wants their ego bruised.
To be honest, for some its not even the ego, but any unwanted legal complication the girl might get them in is the problem. Plus there is radical feminism too.
@The_Shadow_Dweller 100%
its not just about ego bruised, the struggle for guys is waiting for the right moment to approach a girl where she’s not in a bad mood or it’s gunna come off as creepy or desperate. Girls have to learn to create situations where they are approachable.
@dolemite89 How would you know when the moment is right? I think in order for us to come across as approachable, we need to pretty much need to make it obvious that we want you to come and talk to us through eye contact, smiling, initiating convo etc?
it takes time to learn through trial and error. we learn to avoid situations where the likelihood of getting shot down is much higher like approaching women when they’re with a group of friends or at when they’re at the gym and have that i don’t want to be bothered body language. Girls don’t have to make it super obvious but ya you need to signal that it’s ok to flirt with u.
I firmly believe that we both need to create such moments rather than waiting for them to come. Which if waited out, they may never come.
I separated a girl from her group and then told her I liked her. I created my own moment there.
What both genders need to work on is the way we approach each other. That may be the deciding factor. Creepy or not, to go out qith a guy or girl or not. Everything.
You need to learn it and be authentic in it to convince a girl. Authenticity is a must here, I believe.
@The_Shadow_Dweller I'm so glad you brought up authenticity! Literally one of the most important factors when it comes to approaching someone. Girls are pretty good at picking up whether or not a guy is being his true self or not. (I'm sure it's the same for you)
@moniquetlc
Whether a girl is being herself or not. We can definitely tell that. No matter how good the mask is, we are able to see at least some part thst is real behind it. Definitely.
But the thing is, it does not matter how her masked behavior is, we just, or at least I, just drift away from such girls.
You know, those overly diplomatic kind of girls. Always kind of quiet, but when spoken to, always diplomatic answers. I just stay away from them.
Its not like I do not like them, but its just that I really do not prefer such girls. I just don't know what to talk with such girls that's all.
Not always to do with fear of rejection, sometimes the situation itself is just unfairly weighted against the guy's best interests. Sometimes a girl can become more approachable by simply placing herself in a situation where approaching carries less inherent risk.
A guy looking at you and smiling doesn't mean he wants to approach. Sometimes simply enjoying the presence of a girl is more than enough. I've been approached by women after looking at them and it can be awkward... I was just looking...
Help yourself to leave the shyness behind, I'm also shy and one time a girl smiled and waved to me in a grocery store and I ran away to get to the other end of the store I feel bad but see what shyness does to us? So now I got to work on my shyness so I don't chase the women/ girls away.
I definitely would have to see a picture of you because the only thing I can think of is that you are beautiful and they don't know how to act or react
Try to talk to guys and put them at ease. They're probably nervous.
I can see why they would be as I am myself.
Yes, I guess I am kind of at an awkward age.
I do try to be myself, doesn't seem to work so far. 😂
Either approach them OR make it 100% obvious that you want them to approach you. You could even waive them over. But at any rate just be non-resistant. Don't give them any reasons to not approach you. Don't be confusing.
I think you might be missing both a point and multiple opportunities. Do not get caught in the trap of waiting for men to approach you. If you want your potential relationship to be the best it can be, start by ridding yourself of preconceived notions of gender roles.
In other words, if you are interested in a guy, take some initiative. Chat him up and see what happens.
Nothing, men have become either scared or wise in any case they dont want a trouble like a female in their lives
Me included
Whats stopping you from small talking to them at first?
I'm shy, I need to try and break through it.
Maybe approach them if you like them. Sometimes us guys are scared of rejection and it's hard to read if a smile is just friendly hello or I like to know you more personally.
How about instead of trying to seem, you just become more approachable.
But how can you show that you are approachable?
Don't be hard on yourself, I'm sure you look fine. 😊
I'm actually not being hard on myself, I've never been on a date or even kissed a girl, girls I have approached in the past have always had choice words they use when I approach them and it's always about my face, even the girls that seemed the most approachable and possibly also the nicest had things to say about my face. That is why I myself could never give dating advice, or tell someone what to do to be more approachable.
It sounds like the girls you met are very shallow, surely if they got to know you they'd give you a chance. Never give up there will be someone.
Yea I've had some girls tell me how great a guy I am, just I was too ugly for them and they would never see themselves with me.
I stopped trying a long time ago, I don't believe that there is someone for everyone, I believe there's someone for every female but I don't think it's true for guys.
See there is hope for you, I'm sure you will find someone who loves you. 😊
If they look at you like that you could follow up and go talk to them.
This is an uphill battle as men have been told if he approaches a women, she can have him fired and even arrested.
If I listened to that then I would be single
@Libertycityguy you problem managed to find your girlfriend/fiancee/wife before feminists have ruined everything relating to social interaction.
Sorry old school.. lol
I dated a feminist. She was a psycho. lol
Just talk to more Guys especially Shy Guys, If your ignoring Guys the there only going to ignore you back which will make you look less Approachable.
Smile more, talk to people, not wear headphones in public.
Starting a conversation themselves when they like a guy
Be friendly and outgoing, smile a lot and make eye contact.
Have good hygiene, dress nicely, look well maintain and look friendly
Give them ✨the look ✨ babe
What is the Look? 😂
Well thank you for trying to explain, I think I understand what you mean.
I think that's a good idea. I would only approach a girl unless I knew 100% I it was worth my time and being vulnerable. However if I was younger I would not care so much because I'd be interested in learning something for it all. And if I was even younger I would be too scared to do it at all. But if I liked her enough and she kept being open even after I chickened out other times... I'd eventually approach her or do it online like a chicken.
Time to take the bull by the horns and approach them but most of all just be you I hate fake people
NOT identify as a goddess or a cat or anything she isn’t
just smile and make it look like u want him to talk to u
Don't try to appear as though the world revolves around them.
literally say to the guy what you want etc.
actually be sexually attracted to em and send em heavy choosin signals to approach ya
Show legitimate interest. Closed mouths don't get fed hun sorry.
These days it's quite risky to approach random women
Smile. Share a good sense of humor.
Just seem more friendly and open.
Wear shorter skirts.
Whip out their tits a lot more often.
When there's guys around, say things like, 'Who wants to fuck me?"
Smile. Real smile, not a forced one.
I always smile genuinely but it doesn't seem to do much.
Never too late to say anything random or wear aome friendly t ahirt with a message
Maybe you can approach them
be nice and look pretty
I try to always be nice and pretty, I'd say I'm probably about average in looks.
thats good you do
Make them know that you’re interested
How though, is repeated eye contact and smiles enough?
Yes.
Smile and laugh a lot. But don't laugh too loud.
Shake the booty and they will flock to you.
Fear of me too
1000 watts smile
Thanks for likes!
smile
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