Is it normal to think a woman I'm dating is out of my league?

Question

UnknownUser4596 · Accepted Answer

This is super normal but that doesn't mean it's not an issue. This usually happens because you have low self-esteem and you're putting her on a pedestal but she really shouldn't be. There is a reason she chose you to be hers and putting your partner above you, despite sounding selfless, can cause major problems in the relationship and cause discomfort in both you and your partner.

I had an ex who would constantly talk down about himself and it would pretty much ruin the mood anywhere we went. He also was very insecure, being petty and even hostile when people wanted to talk to me (especially alone & especially when the person was male but nobody was exempt), always grabbing me tightly by the waist or even physically blocking other people's view of me in the middle of conversation with them. I kept reassuring him that I was happy with him and he didn't have to be so afraid and I wouldn't cheat and on and on. This got bad enough that he would have panic attacks just when I wanted a day to myself to read or something, I always have to walk with him to classes, I always have to ride the bus home with him, I always have to stay at his house until 9pm everyday, I cannot go out past 7 by myself, etc, etc. This also ended up causing the end to a twelve year friendship I had because he (the friend) was sick of not even being able to see me for months at a time. My boyfriend would look through my phone when I went to the bathroom, throwing a fit or giving me the silent treatment because he'd read a message to a friend (male, obv) where I had complimented him or even just told him my day wasn't going well. My boyfriend always took it as a personal blow. He did all of this while also treating me like I was some kind of goddess who could never do wrong. In the end, he had worried about me leaving him so much that he simply willed it into existence.

I won't lie, a lot of this could have been avoided if I put my foot down but it was just so difficult when he would start full on sobbing if he even thought he did something wrong. Of course, this isn't an excuse and some of this is still on me but that's not the point. Don't be this guy. Please. Learn that you are a person who matters and that you should be able to be comfortable in your own relationship. As equals. The whole "league" system is a horrible one either way.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you think she’s out of your league. she's OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE 🤣🤣🤣. Better date in your own team. Cause otherwise the hotter person will take advantage of you. Dominate you. And put you through hell. Happens if your male or female. Doesn’t matter. You should always date in your league.  Only in rare instances the hot person won’t put you through hell. But it’s RARE!! You have to either ENTER her league by upgrading physically. Or date your own league.  Mark my words… This person will dominate you and put you through Hell. You’ll end up becoming an ATM. Only getting action during the holidays, or she will cheat on you.  Return to this response when you experience one of these 3 options. 💅

BadApple69 · Accepted Answer

It is normal to think that a woman is out of your league…. But you’re wrong. I’ll catch flack for this but that’s ok.

Men think like this because a woman is beautiful, classy, rich or come from a family that has status.
Let’s break them down one at a time.

Beauty: as the saying goes, beauty is only skin deep. Age can makes beauty go away as can an accident. If this is the only reason you are dating this girl then it’s a bad reason. Love her for who she is not because of beauty.

Classy: I like a classy girl! Beautiful dress, makeup perfect (not too much, not to little). Speaks well, always pleasant. When you wake up in the morning next to a girl like this, make up is a mess, she hung over and she cusses because she over slept and her boyfriend has tried calling 5 times, you will quickly realize… she is just human. (Speaking from experience).

Rich: rich is a bad one. Rich kids can be so spoiled. But like everything else richness can come and it can go. In 1929 during the stock market crash it wasn’t poor people who were jumping off the tops of buildings…. Bank crashes or the stock market can make rich people poor over night. If she is spoiled rotten then you can never make her happy and I would move on. If she is not spoiled then she would be ok with a hard working guy who gives her the love she needs. Again… she is just human with human needs and desires.

Status: read rich (above) a second time it’s… it’s much the same. Status can come and it can go. If she is full on the power her families status has then no guy will make her happy UNLESS he too has status equal to or greater then her families status.
Now if she is down to earth then there shouldn’t be an issue.

To sum this all up…. You are a human being and so is she. The reasons you believe she is out of your league aren’t real. You are too people with needs and desires. Fulfill her needs and desires to the best of your ability and all will be golden.
If you believe in your heart that you are not worthy then you won’t be worthy. Believe that you are!

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

How is she out of your league? I'm thinking she poops, farts, takes a squirt, all of the stuff that normal people do, so what then makes her so special?

Summeroflove · Answer

Well if she chooses to date you. See where it goes. Maybe it will work and maybe it won’t

Beautyblossom2 · Answer

It's normal to think that.
Some self-obsessed people even think that they're dating someone "below their league".
It's just a made-up concept to make people strive for some "better" or be that "better" themselves.
And an excuse/reason for ppls' opinions.
Many I've seen, would choose the best prettiest dancer making reels, or the one prettiest on insta with lots of followers, as the one 'topping the league' but many men/women like me wouldn't. Or the one who's all about outfits OR.. sm1 who's best at some sport/hobby OR sm1 who's the best nerd. Some see extra feminine as top stuff while some see a biker woman as top stuff. It's all v subjective. 'Leagues' are no fixed/credible basis to judge.
But sure they can be, if she's thinking that she's out of your league n better than you.. Then it's a credible basis to tell she shouldn't be the one you're dating
The only real thing is that you're both dating
😊

Justmisscurious · Answer

It’s a sign of low self esteem whenever we feel like someone is  too good  for us. If this girl likes you back, you should practice loving yourself more so that you don’t self sabotage a good thing you have going. If you need help on figuring out how you can show yourself love and improve your self value, I recommend researching on the internet as you will find many great articles that offers helpful advice. Good luck!! ❤️

Anemone978 · Answer

Yes totally normal but don't let insecurity get the better of you.. I was with guys I thought were out of my league and I would never let it go forward.. I would always make an excuse to breakup.. but I have never got to experience real love because of that..

Alli39 · Answer

Nah, welcome to insecurity. Lots of people think that way, it's basically the same part of your brain that jealousy stems from if you happen to be a jealous person. Reframe it to think how great it is that someone you think is amazing also thinks you're amazing.

ventustalks · Answer

Yes, totally normal. My boyfriend thinks I am out of his league bur surprise: I also think he is out of my league. This is what love does, it puts your beloved on a pedestal for you

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

If she’s out of your league does that mean you are under her league?

menina · Answer

I suppose you're insecure, which is normal. We all have insecurities. But if she's dating you, that's because she's into you. That being said, you're not out of her league.

james_d0007 · Answer

If you and she are dating - she is happy with you and you are happy with her, this topic does not make any sense. If she gives you the cold shoulder or is busy and meeting other people while dating you then she is looking for better options. Hope this makes sense.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, but it is not true. If she is dating you there is something about you that is attractive and unique. She is not out of your league because the whole idea of leagues is a bunch of BS

OddBeMe · Answer

I married a woman I think it outta my league. My theories:

We’re both deeply in love and think these gals are the best thing since sliced bread.
We both got lucky and found chicks who like to date below their station. Lol

serious · Answer

It is not normal but it is understandable if the woman indeed is very gorgeous.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I think it's fairly normal to feel lucky that your partner is dating you. Just don't start pedestalizing her.

Grovermint · Answer

Yes, it is possible for anyone to think that. The important thing to consider is that she accepted dating you. Keep that in mind and work to get past that.

jshm2 · Answer

No. There are no realistic "leagues". It's just in your head

madhatters4 · Answer

i think it's normal to think women may be out of your league but if you start dating them that should be the clear indication that they are not out of your league

Twalli · Answer

Yes. Just remember that she chose you, she didn't settle. She didn't have to be your girlfriend. It was her choice. She obviously values you higher than you value yourself.

slatyb · Answer

Yes, but she's not. The only problem is that you think you are inferior for some reason. You aren't. Consider getting some counseling to get over this.

chloeaimee · Answer

Of course. Especially if she’s popular or outgoing.

BigDog1989 · Answer

technically, we're always out of a womans league, lol, but, that's just me glorifying women. I know i shouldn't

Chthou95 · Answer

Yes its normal because she could definitely be out of your league and replace you very easily. You're walking on eggshells man. Be cautious and have some self respect

Friendlybro79 · Answer

It's normal to think that but acknowledge that she clearly doesn't think so. Have fun.

jamesgoldman · Answer

It can be but don't get hung up on it even if everyone around you is

RavVid · Answer

Maybe but if she doesn't you'll only self sabotage if you think like this. You are worth the person you are with.

Blacksnake285 · Answer

Yea but I have those thoughts all the time. Only time I have the courage to approach a baddie is when I have either some positive vibes or vibes she’s into me

Minahh · Answer

When he's dating you don't worry about leagues there's something about you she likes

jahaims · Answer

If you only factor in looks then you will always think that.

Billlewis · Answer

I think it's not only normal but probably more common than people think.

inhua · Answer

many are not. don't let the simp inflation fool you

Anonymous · Answer

If she said yes then she's not out of your league.

boobliker · Answer

yes but she is with you and she does not feel that way about you so STOP WWORRYing and get on with loving her and enjoy life with her

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

There’s no such thing as “leagues,” just people.

CoolCatMar1 · Answer

Yes i guess but why?

MikeyObrien · Answer

It's normal but it's not true. Most of the time the man is out of her league especially in America.

Anonymous · Answer

No that's not healthy or normal. You have low self esteem.

DreamLife7 · Answer

For men yes it's very normal

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, nothing normal about that.

Darkrainbow · Answer

What kind of woman r u dating

Anonymous · Answer

No it is not normal if you really love her, love goes beyond anything

sheikalana · Answer

Can happen.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Yeah

Emree00 · Answer

not normal

Is it normal to think a woman I'm dating is out of my league?

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Is it normal to think someone you're dating is out of your league?

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