Online daters, lets test your knowledge. You tell me what you think this means?

[DaveJord]

So, you connect with woman online a week ago. You chat for a few days; you exchange numbers, and you talk on the phone that Monday. So, you have been texting for about four days prior to your first phone call. Now mind you her activity bubble on the site stays green, like all the time.

Monday - she says she has Friday and Saturday off work, but maybe Friday you can get together.

Wednesday - You been texting at least three or four times a day... you ask her if Friday is still a good day, and if you can give her call on Thursday to discuss making plans. She says that she thinks we could definitely work something out.

Thursday- you text her and ask if she has time for a quick phone call. She says she is getting ready for work. So, you text her and say no worries, I just need to know if Friday is a yes or no.

She replies with I am sorry, but I made plans to go do something with a girlfriend, and she makes no comment about Saturday being an option.

Now I know what I said and did. But what I want to ask you all, is do you think she is really going out with a girlfriend, just brushing me off, or seeing another guy?

Bursh off, which is a given honestly.

She could be really going out with a girlfriend, which is still a brush off honestly.

She is probably playing the field and juggling guys and just sorting through them. I mean you are only talking, and you are doing the same thing.

Any other reason, and please explain.

Results

[WolfBaneHunter78]

If you're only texting 2-4 times a day you definitely didn't hit it off. You're a maybe.

Online dating is like real dating. You either click or you don't.

The ones that a person clicks with, you give them your attention and its ongoing engaging conversations. It's usually a steady and MORE than a passing thought.

The maybes, second bests & others get an occasional hi how are you, what's the weather like, oh cool you're going out. No more than I'm being nice passing thought.

So yeah she brushed you off. Could've told you that from the 1st day.

And instead of blaming her you should learn how to improve YOUR emotional intelligence so you can spot things as obvious as the nose on your face. I mean it's not like you're innocent & not playing the field... that is what people on online dating do.

[cosmosis181]

This one's first sentence said it all. That's the truth. If you REALLY are into someone... you'll only get 2 hours of sleep a night because you'll be in constant contact so much. A few occasional short messages? That's just ehhhh😒

[DaveJord]

@wolfbanehunter78 You make some very good points... which why I posted this to hear from people like you and I welcome your point of view, thank you for your response.

You are 100% correct... but first few days of texting were engaging conversation. We exchanged numbers and had a great phone conversation, full of laughter and fun stories. But as the days clicked off it become 3 to f4 texts a day and you are 100% correct... I knew then.

But the key point nobody picked up on or commented on was that her activity bubble on the site stayed solid green. And we all know what that means. So yes, due to my high degree of emotional Intelligence, I only followed up on the proposed date, because I knew at that point the only thing, she had to offer me was sex.

What you fail to realize, or maybe you do... is that my feelings are not hurt in the least. I mean I have another date for this Friday... I just wanted to confirm what I already knew about this woman, before committing to plans with another woman. Because that is what emotionally mature people do. So, you can claim I lack something... that's fair game. But let's not presume this woman is in a good place in life. If you are a "Quality" person, looking for quality people then conduct yourself as a quality person.

So, if she is meeting another guy instead of me, unless he is a Morone... he's has seen all the things I have seen from her... and this will end with another woman not being able to find quality men, because they all lack emotional intelligence. But hey, she's the one that is 40 and single and never been married, for a reason.

[DaveJord]

@cosmosis181 Constant contact with someone is actually a RED Flag. You need to respect people's personal space... it's like love bombing. So, you connect you text you make plans... you meet and then you work out the communication and things.

But you are correct when the communication is spot and intermittent it is a clear sign... but finding the right balance with a person in the initial stages is the biggest challenge to online dating.

Over texting is just as bad and under texting... so there is no right answer as to what the perfect amount is, because it differs drastically from person to person.

But when a woman online goes from engaging to intermittent... there's another man that is drawing her attention... and for someone that been single at the age or 40 and never married... look she is a party girl, and she is still acting like she is 20 years old... so she lacks emotional maturity.

When meet a woman like this, you just enjoy the ride for along as it last, and you know from the start it will not last long... so in this case it lasted for about 4 days... and I get to it. Win some and you lose some.

[skunk3n]

Do never have a phoneship, phone is for setting dates.

Because if you "click" on the phone, then you expect to "click" in real life too. Do never go in with tons of expectations in first date, only be open, yourself, man-to-woman atmosphere, have something called fun (you don't have fun that lasts, over a phone), BUT still have boundaries and limits of what both wants and respect that!

[DaveJord]

@skunk3n I agree you connect on line... chat for a day or two... exchange numbers and then after a few days depending... you should at least start making plans ti meet and discussing solid date and time.

And that's usually when 90% of relationships fall apart. Because they just want to keep texting longer so they can "get to know" you better.

Look these no way better to get to know someone then to meet them, sit down with each other, look them in eyes and just talk.

[DaveJord]

The longer you go with just chatting... it sucks the energy out of the relationship. So when you do meet in real life... its just like

Hi how you doing?

[Ms_Facesitter]

Monday alarm one 1: "maybe Friday"

Wednesday alarm: "We can... work something out"

Thursday alarm: Something else is planned and like you said no future plans.

Whether it's a girlfriend or another guy. You're being brushed off. If I were you I would tell her that she needs to come with a date that works for her. Not a maybe, not a probably. One that works for her and you're both going to be there. Or if you know she is free you can tell her that you can go see her that time, or you're done. Don't let people dance around you.

[DaveJord]

I will give it a day or two for more responses before I reply to you as to what I did.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Dating world... shouldn't be treated like a game. Imagine we matched. I would give you a day, or you would propose a day and you'll get a yes or a no. Not a maybe.

Yes I have a stronger bond with my friends than you, but I can see my friends regularly. You're a new person potentially and hopefully coming into my life forever, I need to make a good impression. Get you to like me.
We matched so I like you and want to learn more about you. I'd let you know in advance if that day would work or not. If it's not going to work, we plan in a new date. She gave you days that she was free, a day that would work. Then canceled it. I think it's fair to expect her to now give a day that DOES work.

[DaveJord]

100% correct. See you're 29 and you have a higher degree of emotional intelligence then 90% of over 40 woman on line.

They want to know why guys like younger woman. I will tell you why, because you're over 40 pulling the same shit you did when you were a kid.

At least this 29 year still has chance at geniue true and meaningful relationship.

But honestly everything you said in a no brainer 100% dead on correct. But one thing.

This woman was never really interested in me. If she was then this never would of happened.

They are just lonely and wanting someone to talk to. She'll find another pantsy in minutes... and she'll feel validated by it.

You win some, you lose some.

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

i think younger women are more likely to play immature games than older women.

[DaveJord]

@nastyb You would think so, but this woman was 40. Younger ones maybe... but by the age of 35 or so... still single woman, single moms or not... the out look isn't good.

I love it when hot chick the tells me at 40 she still gets attention from men have my age (47). I laugh, yeah and your still single at 36... those guys weren't good enough for you then, when you were 23, 26, 28 , 32 and now 36. But you sure love it don't you?

But older seem to be just jaded or damaged, probably both... like they want a man, but don't need a man, and sure as hell aren't going to trust man... but still it might be nice to have a man.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you asked her about Friday, she said nothing about plans with a girlfriend. Then, on Thursday, she has plans with the girlfriend for Friday. Even if she is really doing something with a girlfriend (which is possible but doubtful,) she blew off the chance to do something with you just to go have a glass of wine with a girlfriend.

Maybe she's bi.

And maybe not, but her girlfriend - who she could see some other time - was more of a priority than you. And when you are courting a potential dating partner, people are usually on their BEST behavior.

Jack, if this is her BEST behavior, she isn't a "catch" and she isn't worth spending the time and money for a first meeting. There's much better out there, so go find one of the better ones! Good luck!

[DaveJord]

I will give responses after there are more posts... but yup!

[DaveJord]

@OlderAndWiser Once again you prove you are worthy of your screen name... olderandwiser.

So, she texts me last night and says to me she is available next Wednesday or Thursday... so mind you she is two hours away from me... and she knows I work on those days and Friday was the best time to meet.

I reply with "you set a time and date and I will be there... but if its next Wednesday or Thursday then you will have to come to me, because you know I work those days... so Friday was the best day for me as previously discussed."

She replies with look if I want to make plans with a girlfriend, I can do that, and you just "should" understand that without any need for further explanation.

I replied with; "Enjoy with hike with you "GIRLFREIND!". And then I blocked her.

[OlderAndWiser]

Fortunately, most women are not horrible like this!

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Anonymous]

You've been talking with a cunning cunt named 'Her'. She's a deceptive whore with an active green online status, playing the fuck out of you by juggling guys while deciding her next victim. ﾠ ﾠ

[DaveJord]

Without the name calling, there's no doubt she's playing games and juggling guys.

[ShadezMcgee]

The guy came off too needy or pushy. The reality of the matter is if you received the number from her and could call or text, set a definite date for one of the days she said could work, doesn't matter which one, just pick.

Give her the definite date and time and location and tell her you look forward to seeing her on that date and follow through with the plans. Make sure she agrees. If she gives you a wishy washy or ambiguous answer, do the takeaway and say we can do it another time. If she really wants to see you she will commit to the plan, if not, she will agree with the takeaway and at that point the ball is in her court. Don't try reaching out again.

All you do by talking between the dates with calls and texts is kill the intrigue and mystery. It conveys that you are way more invested than her and it will be a quick way to kill the attraction and interest.

Now given your case, there can be a possibility she is going out with a friend, but the concept still applies. If she wanted to hang out with you she would have. That is why it is important to set the context and tone early on with women. It can come off as passive and indecisive which women don't like.

[DaveJord]

100% correct and that is what it was. So, mind you she is 2 hours away, so it takes some coordination before you just set a time, location and date.

When a woman makes it harder than it should be to make plans. RED FLAG
You set time and date for phone call and happens to be too busy to talk. RED FLAG.
She schedules alternate plans a day she said would work. RED FLAG.

The key point that nobody as of yet has picked up on is that the who time she is talking to me through text... her online profile is steady green. RED FLAG!

So, when you run into a woman like this online, that is doing things like this... what is it she is really offering you? From a man's point of view, sex is honestly all she has to offer you. But she is 40 and single for reason right, so you tell me why you think that is?

But everything you said is accurate and good advice except the simple fact, you're giving too much of the benefit of the doubt to this woman. But guys will do this, until he locks down that juice is not worth the squeeze.

So, the take way is that this for men... you can do all the right things, but once she proves she is not worthy of you attention than just stop giving it her.

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

seriously? you're gonna go online and write an entire essay on 1 woman just cuz she won't go out with you? go get a life... she's not the only fish in the ocean.

[skunk3n]

@nastyb it's just some lines from a guy named Coach Corey Wayne.

But it's true, if girl likes you, she will make it very easy for you.
Otherwise don't invest your precious time in someone who doesn't wants to be with you.

OT stepped on the trap "call back to clarify", which is a red flag, meaning "if I don't find anything more better than stare at these four walls, I might go out with you".
And in this case she did, her girlfriend.

[DaveJord]

@nastyb you can contine to troll and rhant at me all you want. But no person of quality would go by NastyB. So thank you for adding your perspective.

I am sure you a important and valued member of the community.

[nastyb]

@skunk3n @DaveJord

she has THE RIGHT to reject you. You're NOT ENTITLED to anything.

so quit throwing temper tantrums on here cuz you didn't get what you wanted and move on.

[DaveJord]

@nastyb I rejected her the second she made alternate plans, for a day we have schedule. If she had just said, no to meeting I would have been fine with that. But that is just not what happened.

She wanted to reschedule with me for a different day and keep texting for another week. So if you can see what is fundamentally wrong with that, then yes of course your point is valid. But she did not reject me until I said I was not comfortable with it. Only then did she reject me, and she did that without taking any responsibility for her actions or behaviors.

Of course, it is her right do that, and honestly, I am glad she showed her true colors sooner than later. Thats the point of this, she is not woman of value... because women of value do not do these things.

So, if your think what she did is justifiable, then you need to take note... of how a true woman of value conducts herself.

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

you just can't take rejection.
she rejected you because likely she knows she has better options.
And you're throwing a tantrum for WEEKS over this because you don't have any better options.

I'm glad she rejected you... because if she saw everything you wrote throughout your years on GAG, she would've been repulsed.

[DaveJord]

@nastyb So I posted this three days ago, so not weeks. If think this is tantrum, so be it... it's your opinion. Yes, I think there is some wisdom in what you say, I mean 100% it was an indirect rejection... so just straight-out say that. No do fucked up shit then act like the guy is throwing a tantrum when honestly that's not what really happened.

You just keep making my point, more and more for me with every response... as an example of what high value people do not do or tolerate.

You can make it about rejection, but the that's not what this is... sure, she rejected me, but why would I want to date someone like that, so yes but not really.

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

No, she's too "high value" for you that's why she chose to reject you.
you're old, has kids, complains about women all day, jaded bitter... maybe thats why she didn't want you.

[DaveJord]

@nastyb You are correct my apologizes I should have known she was the prize all along.

[skunk3n]

@nastyb what the?

Of course she has the right to reject and so do he.
And in this case indeed TS got reject, and that's why we encourage him to move on (which he obv already has, but just needs some reflection) to someone who's worth his time, someone who invest in him as she does to her, I think we call that mutual respect.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Dunno.

My experience on dating sites involves me swiping left until it says there aren't any more matches in my area, then expanding my area, repeating, and ending up with the same result, then expanding my area again, and getting thet same result again, then expanding it yet again, and this time getting lots of matches, but all are outside the US, and then swiping left on all of them because I'm not moving or being a sponsor, and then giving up.

I got about 2-3 hundred likes per month, some of those women messaged me (both ones inside and outside the US), but I end up just saying I'm not interested, either do to being a poor match, a scam, or being out of the country.

So I've not really gotten to the step you are at yet.

[DaveJord]

2 to 3 hundreds likes a month. Wow dude you need get past the blockage and move on with at least the best two or 3 available.

Like I don't give a shit if your Brad Pitt. 2 to 3 hundred likes a month is like off the charts good for a man on dating sites.

Like I MIGHT get 3 to 4 month... and yes they are not attractive women. But I am messaging like 20 to 30 women a month. And Probably only getting 3 to 4 responses a month.

But yeah 2 years over 20 dates, three relationships... 6, 7 and 9 months.

[DaveJord]

100 miles is my max. But have it set at 50. Then expand to 100.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You are getting so few because most of your generation does not use online dating, and those who do are more likely to be more traditional, and thus less forward with men. That and you limited it to 100 miles, where at the end I had it set to "anywhere" on earth, because there was no "all of the
US" setting, and 500 miles had zero women I liked. And if you have kids or don't want marriage, thats also going to negatively impact your luck. You also have to write a descriptive profile.

Also technically its about 140 to 240 per month (or it was until I deleted it), as about 60 or so per month were scammers.

I'm not classically attractive to a lot of American women, I look very young for my age compared to most guys in the US.
I'm very popular with geeky and artistic overacheiver japanese, chinese, and south korean women (probably because I'm Asian, and because I have a hard work ethic/concrete goals, various talents, etc, which pleases their overachiever culture, and because my gaming and geeky hobbies are more popular with women in southeast asia), those accounted for about 80 likes a month, out of these, less than a dozen per year were perfect matches, basically me but in a female body, they checked every single box on my long, picky list, except location... so I didn't persue. All of these perfect matches were in Japan (no surpise there since gaming culture and anime culture is huge there).

The rest of the likes were in the US, but were not match material, most were wanting casual sex (I'm saving myself for a wife), or I didn't find them physically attractive, or they were boring/didn't share my hobbies and interests and goals, or they drank alcohol or smoked or did weed or other trash, or they had kids, or some other issue.

[DaveJord]

Ahhh... yeah... I get it... you got some key factors and filter preferences... that I don't have going for me... and/or would filter out.

[Anonymous]

It's kind of irrelevant. She kind of canceled. I say "kind of" because the way you wrote it suggests that had you not messaged her she'd have never even contacted and let you know. i say it's kind of irrelevant because people online are not known for thier honesty or sincerety. Either way to me the move is crystal clear. She backed out so she gets shelved until she contacts you with a rescheduling of a date. In the meantime I'd be talking to, meeting and dating other women.

If she contacts you it's incumbent on her to pursue you.

[DaveJord]

Correct if I had not messaged, she would not have said anything about being busy on Friday. RED FLAG

Yeah, I only followed on Friday... to see if there was any chance of her being a worth enough woman for me to continue talking to her. And 100% correct, I moved to a different girl last about two days ago, but I just wanted to see if there was anything worth continuing talking to with this one before making any plans with another woman.

So, I got date Friday night, with someone you actually are putting forth a better effort.

The point is guys, all women think they are quality woman... but if they don't act like one, then they will not be treated like one.

[Opinion Owner]

So much YES! I repeat ad nauseum on this site one of the most attractive things in a woman is effort. Because women are conditioned in the dating process that a guy supposed to pursue them. But women DO NOT understand that guys do not like wasting thier time with fruitless endeavors. We're willing to put in ANY AMOUNT of work with a woman we're truly interested in. But we have to know that that interest cuts both ways.
Yes I agree Red Flag with this woman. I WOULD give her another chance. But she'd have to earn the OPPORTUNITY by contacting me. As a RULE I would NOT contact her first. Again I would move on. You proved your interest more than once. Now it's her turn.
For a guy NOT to do this is to lose his self respect. 👍💯

[DaveJord]

If this woman was to ever contact me again... and she will not. The only thing she has too offer me is sex. Depending where I am with the new chick, I might follow up on the sex line... but she has proven to me already she is not worthy of more.

Other than that, you are 100% correct!

[Opinion Owner]

Well as I said "she'd have to earn the opportunity". I wasn't trying to convince you to give her another chance. You talked to her. You have a better guage of who she is than I do.

[DaveJord]

Yeah she texted later that day, said what about Wednesday or Thursday next week.

I said you know i work those days, so you'll have to come to me... that's why friend was day we agreed would be best.

Her response was , Look if I want to go out with my girlfriend, then you should just understand thst with any need for further explanation.

I reply; Enjoy your hike with your "GIRLFRIEND".

No way would I give her a second chance... if she really wanted to met we would of. Obviously she's playing games... so no way should just give her any benefit of the doubt.

If it was legit she'd totally be apologetic and off explanation straight out with out me needing to say anything. But obviously she's lacking emotional maturity or intelligence.

[DaveJord]

* Friday not friend day

[AngryCarl2]

"Wednesday - You been texting at least three or four times a day."

She might have been into you but you put her off by being too needy. Something to remember next time. Not more than one text per day and definitely don't hassle her when she's getting ready for work.

[DaveJord]

Nah... 3 to 4 times a day over the course of three to four hours a day... its not excessive.

The excuse of her getting ready for work... yeah that was BS man. It was discussed the day prior I would call at that time... as to not catch her at a bad time. The work thing was just another excuse to avoid telling me she had different plans... she just wanted to string me along for another week.

[Likes2drive]

Girlfriend on a Friday night? She had no plans with her, it’s probably another guy , if he doesn’t work out she might get back to you, she is definitely juggling guys. I don’t know how patient you are but I wouldn’t bother texting her anymore, she knows how to get in touch with you, don’t bother calling or texting anymore since you blew you off with no alternate plan

[DaveJord]

About time, ladies and gents... here is a real man! 👍

[Anonymous]

Well I don't know what the fuck 'could definitely' is supposed to mean but there is no real way to know, you aren't the highest priority in her life but that doesn't mean anything, she doesn't owe you anything and you have no idea what might be happening in someone else's life that might bump you from your slot, for all you know her friends kid just got diagnosed with cancer or hit by a car, literally anything could have happened and there is no reason what so ever to consider that you should be 'in the loop' because you are still a stranger, it's none of your business.

At the very least you need to roll the dice again because being fooled once is fine.

After it happens again you need to start questioning whether this person is on the level or if they are able to fit you into their life in a way which works for you and meets your needs etc

[DaveJord]

Negative. if her freind kid got cancer or there was some overarching reason then she could have said that. She didn't. So, there is no reason why I should have given even more benefit of the doubt.

If woman puts of wanting to meet you, or if you ask her out and she doesn't give a straight answer, or the answer is anything but yes... move my man trust me. Been down this road too many times, just turns in to weeks of texting over nothing.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, she could have done but some people do not like to tell everyone their business, they are private people, you are not on a need to know basis.

You and all these people here are PRETENDING that you know, you actually don't know ANYTHING.

Now you can make wild assumptions if you want to and you can be reactionary and block people at the first sign of anything if you want, certainly that is the trend.

Personally I prefer to try to live in reality and know what i know and what i don't know and I think all the people who talk about 'ghosting' etc are all retarded.

[Opinion Owner]

Not just retarded and more importantly, they are weak, they are so afraid of exposing themselves that they hide and run away from everything.

It's pathetic.

[DaveJord]

@guffrus I do not believe I made any "wild" assumptions, other than we had a opportunity to meet on a day she said she would available, and would be best for her. But then she decided to back out and spend that time with her "freind."

Now I do not truly know exactly why she did this, but it was insulting to me and that is all that really matters. It did not make me feel right, and since I can not assume anything by her actions, according to you, the simple fact is that we are not match. Its not going work out, and if there was a good reason and she can not communicate that, just because she is a private person... HUGE Red Flag.

Trust me my man, its a BS excuse to claim i am a private person and there for I do not communicate my true intentions, and to beleive that you should not or do not have to be made to fell that you should... hell man you are giving the away the keys to kingdom at that piont... based upon assumptions because she is giving you no facts, and then you say I should not be making assumptions.

So that is exactly what I am doing, I am not going to give her any benefit of the doubt because she has given me reason as to why I should. Thats not an assumption that's a fact.

[Opinion Owner]

The problem that I have with your thinking is that you think that you have a right to know why she cancelled and you don't.

You are obviously free to do whatever you want but don't pretend that you know because you don't know.

[DaveJord]

It's not about having a right to know, honestly, I do not care what she canceled. But a good person, or let me say a person that I would want to date, would offer an explanation, or at the very least deserver one.

If she does not respect that about me, or feel I deserve any type of explanation, then I don't want to date that person. And I have every right to set that boundary... that the thing about boundary setting is that its a double edge sword, and it very rarely only cuts one way.

[inhua]

well one thing is for certain. she's not into you as much as you're into her

and playing the field is most likely what she's doing

[DaveJord]

100%, but it depends on what you are into it for... but true she can get laid 10 times a day if that is what she wants. So as a man, just got to exercise your options... until it's a hard not going to happen. But you if you out there dating that just part of the process.

But I got a date Friday with another woman, I just wanted to close it with this woman before starting with another. Because this is what an emotionally mature and responsible person does. I just did not want to string the other woman along, playing stupid highschool games with the first woman.

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

there's nothing more emotionally immature than writing essays on a woman just cuz she rejected you. its not that big of a deal. Move on.

[inhua]

@nastyb he has every right to point out this bad behavior and spread awareness for the rest of us to know. some people can benefit from this

don't be upset because he's spilling women's secrets out

[nastyb]

@inhua

men are even worse. you don't see me going around gag posting hate rants about men.

[inhua]

@nastyb this isn't even a rant. he's just asking questions

[nastyb]

@inhua

its a rant disguised as a question.

[inhua]

@nastyb you're thinking too hard into this

[DaveJord]

@inhua. Her name is @nastyb. I say no more. 😐

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

vast majority of your posts on GAG are nasty things about women. I would think she dodged a bullet by not meeting up with you.

[DaveJord]

@nastyb Troll aways NastyB! :)

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

nobody is trolling, woman hater.

[inhua]

@nastyb DaveJord is one of the more reasonable members on GAG. him alongside MasterOracle. he'll call out both men and women if need be. in this case, he's just testing your knowledge

[nastyb]

@inhua

DaveJord is a bitter jaded divorcee who hates women...

MasterOracle is a bitter jaded angry passive aggressive old man who can't stand the fact that women in their 30s can still give birth.

[inhua]

@nastyb you're stretching the definition of "hate" too much

you must be thinking of indifference

[nastyb]

@inhua

other people can see it when you dedicate your life hating on women over the internet. don't think nobody sees.

[inhua]

@nastyb it's not hate when there's truth to it

for example it's not hate to say men are taller, stronger, faster than women on average because it's true

[nastyb]

@inhua

there's nothing true about what davejord has said about women. just a bunch of angry hate rants about his miserable life.

[inhua]

@nastyb asking questions to test someone's knowledge isn't ranting though

[nastyb]

@inhua

if you had so much knowledge, you wouldn't be single and whining on GAG.

[inhua]

@nastyb there's no legal obligation for anyone to date

[nastyb]

@inhua

the problem is not "legal obligation". the problem is when YOU want a date but can't get one.

[inhua]

@nastyb I never said anything about my wants or desires. that's projection on your part

[nastyb]

@inhua

I have spoken to you long enough on here to know your wants and desires.

[DaveJord]

@nastyb I think you need to look in the mirro and ask yourself about all the things you are accusing me of? Because you are just proving what gaslighting is and all about. And you are establishing the fact that you are person that isn't really bring anything of value to this comversation.

I only entertain you because a person that breaths air on this planet, I am willing to give you some degree of value as person. But you are using that kindness to attack me, and only in doing so further degrading yourself.

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

What kindness do you have constantly looking for reasons to attack women on GAG?

You constantly attack, degrade women on GAG yet, you can't take it when someone attacks YOU or rejects YOU?

Ultimately, you just can't take rejection. Nothing about your experience is ridiculous or abnormal about online dating. EVERYONE DEALS WITH THESE TYPES OF SITUATIONS IN ONLINE DATING, INCLUDING ME. MEN HAVE DONE IT PLENTY OF TIMES TO WOMEN TOO. you dont see me coming on here releasing a hate tirade against men.

you're just trying hard to make it seem like its a widespread female problem. Thats whats makes you so disgusting.

Truly nice men dont dedicate their lives to attacking women online

[serious_miss419]

Sounds like you’re pressuring her. Making her be available for you and if she isn’t then you delete her and move on.
She likely picked up on some gut feeling and dodged a bullet

[DaveJord]

Actually, she suggested Friday... not me. I asked her what good time for her would be, she said Friday. So that is the time she made herself available to me... so you totally got that flipped around backwards.

The only think she picked up from me, is that I was not digging her after this bullshit and that made her insecure, when there are plenty of other guys that will dance on the strings for her.

What she fails to realize, that guys like that will not ever provide for her in the ways she thinks they will. But she is 40 years old never married and single for reason... because she is chasing the shiny object in the mirror, until they get what they want and move on. So, it's not the men, it's her pattern of behavior and lack of emotional maturity.

[serious_miss419]

Ok then you’ve made up your mind. Alternatively you could just have a rational conversation with her.

[DaveJord]

So, she texts me last night... asks about Wednesday or Thursday next week because she has those days off.

She is two hours away from me, so the point of setting the time yesterday to talk on the phone was to discuss a time and place to meet... I offered to come to her or meet her halfway... but I do not know the local area very well.

So, she offers next Wednesday and Thursday to me as possibility. Again, she is too busy to call, just want to text... but I already said I would rather discuss this over a call not text.

I say to her,

"You know I work those days, which is why Friday was the best day for both of us, until you made alternate plans. So, if you want to meet on one of those days, you will have to come to me, or we will have to set a different day. But honestly, I don't want to get strung along or hassle you if you are not really interested. So, you tell me specifically what time and date and we will work it out."

She relies with, "Look if I want to make plans with my girl freind you should just understand that without any need for a further explanation. Maybe it best we break ties now."

I reply with; " just because you should not have to explain something, doesn't mean you should not try to. Enjoy, you hike with your "girlfriend". If that is what is important to you then I encourage you to do that. :) "

No reply to that... but I did not expect one. I am not going to make it any easier for her then it already was.

[LostandFound__x]

It can be sooooo many different reasons tbh.

[DaveJord]

100% Be it could be for any 100s of reason but one... the being that she's totally into meeting me irl.

[JesseP1nk]

She brushed you off, does not matter the reason. Unless she was getting open heart surgery... If people wanna see you, then they will see you. Its really that simple.

[DaveJord]

100% I agree

[Huntingnfishin]

If she's afraid to talk to you on the phone my first thought is catfish

[DaveJord]

Now this was not a catfish... I have dealt with that dozens of times. If wanted to love bomb through text and chat, then ask for money she had plenty of chances.

But you are correct in that this was another form of catfishing. I mean she is looking for something, but she did get the gut feeling I am not playing those types of games with another woman... not unless she is going to make it worth my while. Which is not what she wants to do when other guys will more than love to play games like that for free.

I mean it could have been a catch fish honestly, but I am like 80% sure she is a real person. But honestly who really knows right... it's a fair point I cannot say you are wrong.

[skunk3n]

If she were a catfish, she would have gone for the purpose much faster.
Say she had a broken life maybe or wants to do something so much but can't afford.

Because girls get hundreds of messages online, and if you catfishing as someone, you want to hit broad and a lot and fast with mindset "someone will take the bait".

[skunk3n]

In OT's case, the girl either just wanted the attention/validation or she found someone else, because she was online 24/7 on the dating-app who was more interesting.

[Huntingnfishin]

@skunk3n you put a lot of thought into this! You make a lot of good points. Could be she's married and just wants another person's attention? In anycase she's probably not worth putting a whole lot of effort into chasing her

[DaveJord]

@skunk3n I think the attention and validation is definitely it. And yes she found someone else... some of the nest guys are not great in text, and some of the worst are.

[Grovermint]

She decided for whatever reason to not want to go out. I'd accept it as her loss and try again.

[DaveJord]

Yes, and I got another date for Friday. I just wanted to close the door on this one, before committing to plans and opening the door with the other.

[msc545]

You are wasting your time with this if you are still doing it. Dump and block her.

[DaveJord]

I will give responses after there are more posts... but yup!

[Anemone978]

She doesn't seem all that interested.. might as well move on..

[Vegasrunner]

This doesn't seem that difficult. She is brushing you off

[linka_pat307]

I wouldn't trust her

[DaveJord]

Why do the younger women always seem to get it! 😆 🤣 😂

[linka_pat307]

Because it's obvious

[DaveJord]

😆 🤣 😂

[NathanDavis]

no idea, never done any of it

[WhitneySnow]

I picked the second option

[nastyb]

the guy is desperate while the girl doesn't really want him.

but I don't think such a thing is limited to women... I think men do the same thing to women.

[DaveJord]

I am desperate? I text a woman for week in a half and follow up on date offer, she proposed? Then backs out. Nah, that's not desperate.

[nastyb]

@DaveJord

you're desperate because I can sense that you have no other options. thats why you got so upset when she didn't wanna meet you. she has the right to reject anyone she wants. so deal with it, you're not entitled to anything.

[Iron_Man]

Not serious at all the girl