Do you think people's dating life would change if they just tried harder?

Question

LiamJHayden · Accepted Answer

Harder and smarter. If the guy comes off as desperate, trying harder probably won't work.

Darkest-Knight · Accepted Answer

Sure. You gotta try or you won't succeed

jennifer_bloom · Answer

What people had been telling me ever since I started university is that you focus on building up your personality and morals and social behaviours and habits and let the guy or girl fall into your lap when your fully and richly prepared. As delightful as your lover is, nobody is attractive enough to take over your reason for living, you have to do it for yourself and not for the person.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If they tried harder AND SMARTER!

Mybeachlife8888 · Answer

Stop looking for someone you’re interested in, and instead work on yourself so that the person you’re interested in finds you.

People are so selfish anymore and they complain that there’s no good people out there to date……. Well guess what, thats your own damn problem. Look in the mirror. If you want to attract the right person, be the person they would be looking for. You can’t be eating cake all day and expect to find an attractive person who has a lot going for themself. Do you think that someone who spends a ton of time staying in shape and being successful wants to date someone that sits around eating whatever they want and being a bum?

even if that’s an extreme example it’s going to hit home for a lot of people. Also, stop trying to make compromises such as well I don’t need them to have abs, just because you’re overweight. Get your ass in shape and be desirable! Do it for yourself and when you can respect yourself by putting your best self forward then MAYBE JUST MAYBE someone will take the time out of their own life to get to know you better.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I think it would be better if they traveled more. I don't have problem at all associating with women in the NE or West Coast -where in many places, it's immigrant majority. Different values COMPLETELY. Now however, I avoid them completely... because I'm in a state in Middle America, where it's full of baby mommas, food stamps and deadbeats, and 99 percent White&Black American. I'll give you 2 examples from jobs I worked here in the last year, both White females, 1 is 19, the other 30. The 19 yr old was at a restaurant. About 5'7, maybe 220 pounds. No joke. I come out to the dining room, and she's sitting down on break with the female manager... saying, and I'll quote..."I just made $1200 on Only fans last night, and my baby daddy's in jail and he don't appreciate nothing I do for him. I been arrested 4 times for assault and battery, so I don't play." THIS... is who thinks they're "high value" nowadays. The 30 yr old, an asst manager at a store... she's gone, away from the register...80 percent of the whole shift... NOT EVEN IN THE STORE... why? Because she knows EVERY Black dude in an SUV who pulls up that's a dope dealer... and they park their cars in the lot for her to sit in the passenger seat, smoking blunts, blasting rap music. She frequently tells people about her "butt job she got done in Miami"... and only comes into the store to buy these dope dealers Newports out of her own pocket, then complains how "she always has to buy this shit for these guys." So the answer Coach... is no. Because THIS is what's out there in Middle America. What they need to do is travel... because once they do, they'll realize that American females and their culture are a has been... self destructive, and not worth shit. To anyone with half a functioning bran cell who's traveled, they'd know that, and wouldn't have trouble dating at all... because immigrants are the exact opposite.

rigmarole · Answer

Sure they would waste a lot of energy and time trying to do something that's not working for them. Whoever you are, you are... Whatever you're comfortable putting into a relationship naturally is the pattern of behavior you will return to eventually. So either someone will accept that at the outset when you are at your genuine baseline behavior, or you spend a lot of time and energy faking it so that you can land some sucker that believes your lies so that you can split up as soon as you get tired of being a phony and start to slip up on your deception.

EricSummer · Answer

Yes, sure. Most men who stay alone in the long term do not go out enough. They may spend their evenings with computer games instead, for example.

There needs to be a fair amount of chances to meet women scheduled in every week. This can be different types of sports and social activities. It can also mean mingling with friends and going to private parties.

This way the odds will be in your favor and soon you will succeed.

Of course, this works best for men like me who keep their women for years or decades so they do not need to catch one very often. For men who need a lot of variety I suppose online dating could be an option.

Anonymous · Answer

NO! Dating is easier for both sexes as long as they have GOOD GENETICS. You can’t purchase better GENETICS, or somehow alter your own Bone Structure and Genetics 🧬. Women and Men of bad genetics are definitely doomed in their dating life. This is why looks matter, and why we prefer someone sexually appealing. Because that’s the person who you will reproduce with. Specially if you’re a female. You’ll end up cloning with your body, someone like your male partner. BE CAREFUL. And be selective. Be picky. Be shallow.  You risk everything with a pregnancy.

Huntingnfishin · Answer

I guess it depends on what you mean by "try"...

If by making an effort to smile and be more pleasant to people and try to understand a person for who they are then... yes they could try harder.

If you meant swiping right more often then society as a whole is doomed.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I honestly think that I picked the wrong women. Women now string guys along because they need attention that they don't get at home. They don't tell me that they are married or have a boyfriend and pretend yo be single. This wastes precious time that is shorter than you might imagine and ruins lives.

I still dont see the point in couples going to singles establishments. Why would they go? Are they really that desperate for attention outside of their relationship? Is everything they have together based on others perception of them?

Rei13 · Answer

It depends on how you define try as that could also mean desperate. Which is unattractive to the majority of the population. However if you become the best version of yourself dating can go with that. You can focus on making yourself more attractive physically, do the hobbies you enjoy, build your social network, focus on your career etc while not necessarily on dating itself and still end up having more success without trying. That was always what worked for me.

Lionman95 · Answer

I don´t think it´s a question of trying harder. It´s just a question of doing it better or different. Some people need to work on the way they see dating and handle the situation.

For instance some people try to date the wrong people in terms of people that might seem great from the outside but are not perfect for them.

Grovermint · Answer

Nope. Back when I tried, trying harder just got me more rejections.

Nikki1989 · Answer

People stare at their phones more than putting in any real physical effort. No wonder so many people are single.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I remember hearing somewhere that a woman knows within the first 30 seconds of meeting you whether she's going to sleep with you or not.😆

I don't know if that's true. But you get the implication. Her mind pretty well made up you could hurt your chances. But you're not likely to better them.

I think a lot of women today just say otherwise because they want to see how many hoops they can get some guys to jump through. Because in my experience some women I couldn't shake that wanted to f*** me. And those that had zero interest in me I couldn't have got them with a 100 bill sticking out of my fly.😆

msc545 · Answer

No this is not about trying. It's about preferences.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Yes many don't try very hard to weed out the good from potential

Jazzy54 · Answer

Not necessarily. Some people just don’t click. 🤷🏽‍♀️

provokeesmokee · Answer

Yeah. Lots of folks think complaining online = "trying". It really isn't.

slatyb · Answer

Harder is not the right word. Repeating the same unsuccessful behavior more often won't help.

Anemone978 · Answer

Not if they are a weirdo or have a personality flaw.. No one will ever want you..  I defo have something wrong in my character and looks cuz no one likes me either, so it is a lost cause to try :D

inhua · Answer

for some people yes but for many other no no amount of hard work will ensure Joseph Merrick gets into a sex-filled relationship with someone who isn't a gold-digger or a sex worker

Shark_61695 · Answer

Yep, it will definitely change from 0 successes, 0 failures.

rienna888 · Answer

Yes nowadays people all play hard to get and that bs. Everybody’s scared to appear clingy and get hurt. If we all gave love our best shot and not give up so easily we’d have more worthwhile relationships

CubsterShura · Answer

It's less about trying hard and more about doing the right things. If you do the wrong thing harder it will make things worse.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think it would be better if they didn't take rejection so hard. Dating is a bit of a game, it's not meant to be serious in the early stages.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Not really. The only people who have to try hard are people who are unattractive, and trying harder won't make them more attractive. Trying harder just makes you a try-hard. And try-hards are unattractive.

JesseP1nk · Answer

I dont think that works that way. If you "try it harder" you might seem as needy. I think you need to work on yourself. Take a good care of yourself, be healthier, work out, read books, learn to play an instrument.

magiusX26 · Answer

if that aspect used any semblance of balance abd fairness would help. as in a real screebibg process and those actually deserving of a chance to mate actually got at least a half assed chance.

WilliamMay30 · Answer

Yes; creates personal grow and understanding of what you want and desire in your partner’s.

molonski2 · Answer

I think most of them try too hard , they need to relax , they come accross as desperate.

Lokiion · Answer

Yes and no you can try all you want but if you don’t know what your doing it won’t matter if you know what you dong then yes it will increase a decent amount

SolitarySolace · Answer

No, if men tried Hader they'd end up in jail/prison.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

I was hoping you would define "tried harder"

SeaStorm1 · Answer

is there were more smart and don't give a crap about bullshit issue with comes with dating and relationship.

Sparkie460 · Answer

Yes. They need to get out and meet people. Not going through a website

Jamie05rhs · Answer

If you were the first one to do it, yeah. But not after the trend caught on.

Bobbybopeep · Answer

Taking everything as your responsibility even if it rains will always transform your life.

dolemite58 · Answer

nope, a wise man once said less is more when it comes to effort with women.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course things would improve but I think it's rarely ever just a matter of trying harder.

coffeeguy78 · Answer

Nope, I think its inherently difficult in modern society for singles to date.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes many people don’t want to give a chance or just don’t try at all

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I'd say that's a fair assessment for me

sheenagwapa · Answer

no... i think love is shit and not worth it

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