Would you say that dating is based on luck? Is it possible that people are not successful at?

Question

There is a bit of luck involved. You'll either find a partner with good luck or you'll get bad luck and notice a lot of red flags. The part that is people's fault doesn't matter if luck plays a role. The other reason for sod laws might be that I'm wanting something I can't have but don't want anyone over my age range sod laws. some men that I am not interested in, but see it as a challenge. I don't want any guys who are too old for me. it could be just a few men that I am not interested in but see as a challenge. i also put my age range up 19 to 30 now since i'm not getting guys that i want near my age. my age is 24 . think is depends on person own luck or not. When it comes to dating or finding a partner, do you believe it is based on luck or not?

Smoothing · Accepted Answer

I would definitely agree that dating has a lot of luck to so with it. Especially if we a referring to what leads to a successful relationship.

Some people think its all about game but experience tells me otherwise. There is a very narrow margin between forcing something and something developing naturally.

More often a lot of relationships don't work because people ignore the importance of something developing Naturally.

I have seen so many guys fight so hard and pound there chest that they got the girl, only for the girl to leave them.

Putting yourself out there is definitely a part of it, buy if you are overdoing it, you are getting no where.

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

There are certain skills involved in making an "approach" to a member of the opposite gender. Therefore, it is not entirely based on luck. That would be like saying that Duke's basketball team would beat a community college basketball team based on luck.

MrOracle · Answer

Luck is always a bit of a factor, but it's maybe 5%. Making good choices is about 45%, and putting in the work is about 50%.

@thesimfans I obviously don't know you or know anything about you, so I have no idea what the problem is with you specifically, so don't take anything I say personally - nothing here is intended as an attack.

The #1 most common mistake women looking for relationships today make is being overly masculine and career-oriented. MEN DO NOT WANT THAT. You going to college, having a degree, having a career, or having a good income means ZERO to a man - in fact, I could argue that it's a negative. While those things add value to a man, because they're important to women, they add nothing to a woman's value, because that's not AT ALL what men are looking for in women.

Instead, men - or, rather, the men who are looking for serious relationships, who are the only ones worth talking about if YOU are looking for a serious relationship - are looking for women who are FEMININE and who are FAMILY-oriented. The main reason they want a SERIOUS relationship rather than just a fun extended fling is because they want a FAMILY. Sure, a few exceptions exist, but this is largely true. Do not get confused by the fact that there are lots of guys who don't want families who would "date" you, but what they're really offering is an extended "friends-with-benefits" relationship, not a commitment, so those guys don't count. The men who would offer a commitment overwhelmingly want a FAMILY, and so they want a girl who wants to be a WIFE and a MOTHER, not a boss bitch that they have to compete with.

That leads to #2: most women today are NOT feminine. They have been taught by feminism - by their mothers, their friends, schools, the media, etc. - to instead BECOME the kind of men that they actually want to be with, rather than to become the FEMININE women that those very men actually want. Focusing on your career is a path to being alone - men are rejecting masculine, career-oriented women in ever higher numbers today.

#3 is that women have been sold the idea that they are princesses and deserve only the the very best - a Kim Kardashian billionaire lifestyle that looks so attractive on Instagram. And, thus, virtually ALL women ONLY look at the top 10% of men, and many only look at the top 5% or less. These men are young, handsome, successful, and often wealthy. What's wrong with that? Well, there are also only a SMALL number of such men, and they're popular enough to get virtually ANY woman, so to get such a man, you are literally competing against leading actresses, top pop singers, and Victoria's Secret models - and even when THOSE girls get such a man, he usually still cheats on her. If a VS model can't keep such a man faithful, what chance do you have? What I'm getting at is that you need to be FAR more realistic. The AVERAGE man in the US is 5'9" tall and makes $45,000 a year - salary will vary some based on location of course - but less than 15% of all men make $100,000+ a year, and less than 2% of men in their 20s.

My advise for success is: seek men who are 6, 7, and 8s (nothing higher) who are ambitious and hard working, but haven't "made it" yet and forget the top guys (who are rarely good in the long run), get rid of your masculine traits and focus on enhancing your femininity, become family-oriented rather than career-orientated, and only date LOCALLY and only meet guys IN PERSON - stay off apps.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"Bad luck" is the excuse for people who do not get good results and don't want to look inward to find the reason.

There is perhaps some small measure of fortuity in encountering a potential partner walking down the street or passing by on an aisle of the grocery store, but deciding to open your mouth and try to engage them in conversation is totally under your control. If you are dressed lke a slob and your appearance turns that person off. . . that is something you made happen. If you tried to start a conversation and it was awkward, that is probably due to lack of experience and you can make yourself get more experience. If a guy asks a girl for a first date and suggests somthing so stupid that she says "no," that's not luck.

There are billions of people on the planet and you only need ONE person for a relationship. Billons of couples exist and coupling is not a random event.

AviatorTom · Answer

There's a bit of luck in everything we do. For best results, be lucky and merge that with skill. That's true for dating or anything else you do.

dynamicyandere · Answer

I believe it’s a combination of luck and your own preparation.

If I use a job hunting analogy..:

You can imagine your ideal most ideal matches being like these dream companies that you really want to work with. (Or maybe new companies that you haven’t heard of yet but have everything you want in a dream job.)

Let’s say their job openings are super super rare.

Then a job opening happens and you now have an opportunity to land your dream job.

Do you have what it takes? What’s your work experience like, skills, personality, resume, etc? If you were to land an interview, would you also land the job? This is where opportunity needs to meet with preparation.

If you’re poorly prepared, you will miss the opportunity no matter what because you’re not what that company is looking for.

If you’re super prepared, you just need to keep your radar on for golden opportunities to land an interview with quality companies.

So in the dating world, you’re looking for your ideal match, someone who you believe will make you feel truly fulfilled.

You go on your first date, your interview so to speak. Now, the question is…

If they’re like your dream company are YOU their dream candidate?

If they will make you feel 100% fulfilled, do you have what it takes to make THEM 100% fulfilled too?

That’s where the preparation comes in.

How are you as a person? How is your character? How is your virtue? How are you as a girlfriend? Do you have any personal issues? Have you worked through them? Is your mental and emotional health in a good place? Etc.

So there is luck in the sense of bumping into the perfect match for you. But then, the preparation part is do you have what it takes to impress your perfect match?

tbm1986 · Answer

It sounds like you are not meeting the right people and have already learned guys your age don't tend to be mature enough for you.

I have recently come out of a toxic relationship with someone older than me (52). Age would have been a factor in the long run but if anything, she was more immature and naïve than me, so biological age isn't always indicative of maturity.

If dating is a priority for you right now, have you considered meeting other people through your hobbies?

On the face of it, dating does appear to have a lot of luck involved but when you look at when and where people are and why, you get to see correlations. It also doesn't help that the single guys aged 24-30 are usually single because they haven't grown up yet or they are undesirable for other reasons.

I guess you could find guys who are single because they got married too early but that pool is pretty small in the 24-30 range. Even then, there's no guarantee they will have matured. That might be why their marriage collapsed.

Good luck with your love life.

burlen · Answer

Luck can play a role in dating to some extent. For instance:

Meeting opportunities: Dating can be a numbers game, and the more people you meet, the greater the chances of finding a compatible partner. Luck can play a role in the opportunities you have to meet new people, such as through mutual friends, work, or social events.

Timing: Timing is a crucial factor in relationships, and sometimes, two people may not be ready for a relationship at the same time. Luck can play a role in bringing two people together when both are emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship.

Chemistry: There's a certain element of luck involved when it comes to chemistry between two people. While compatibility and shared values are important, there's also a certain spark or connection that can't always be explained and can sometimes be attributed to luck.

However, many other factors such as shared values, compatible personality traits, and good communication skills also play a significant role in the success of a relationship.

Dating is a complex process that involves both chance and choice. While luck can bring two people together, it's ultimately up to the individuals to build a connection and make the relationship work. So, while luck can be a factor, it's not the only determining factor in the success of a relationship.

FenderMustango · Answer

I may get flack here but most women are shallow in some way shape or form. Now I want to stress I am not after a supermodel, however I don't think I should have to lower my "standards" because a woman will not give me a chance based on a profile photo and not what the guys interests, personality or life outside I get that there is a level of attraction needed but in my opinion I can become more attracted to someone over time if they have the right personality, interests and goals, however that doesn't mean I have to settle for dumb chunky overweight person who has that "if your after sex then piss off attitude". You can all argue go out and meet someone but I am socially awkward unless I am with a small group friends or family, plus I hate going out clubbing. Being in an environment of trash music and guys looking to punch you just for staring at his girlfriend who came out in the middle of winter in a skimpy dress and no coat for fear of loosing it after being to drunk.

Lliam · Answer

Yes, luck is involved. Of all the people in the world, you are only going to encounter a tiny percentage, and that will be by pure chance. You may meet them at school, work, through friends, or by chance at some shop or other setting. It's a matter of you and them being at the right place at the right time.

You will know little about a person until you start dating. Dating is how you get to know them. A good percentage of the time, you will realize that the person isn't right for you. But, if you're lucky, you'll eventually find someone who is a good match through trial and error.

The more people you meet, the better your odds of finding the right match for you. All you can do to increase your odds is to be prepared to take advantage of chance opportunity when it presents itself.

Jersey2 · Answer

I think women in particular would be better off with luck if they figured out where the types of guys they like are most of the time. Is it the guy at the sports bar, the nerd on their computer or playing D&D, is it the career guy, is it the beach bum that surfs, is it the musician at the club? Guys aren’t one dimensional so the surf bum on Saturday might be the career guy on Monday. But search out where the personality that you like is and be available. Join a club that specializes in certain hobbies. Don’t be too picky, date a guy and see where it goes and then date his friends if that small community appeals to you. I dated tons of girls and then their friends when I was in my teens.

JSmuve · Answer

It's mostly luck. These are the things you can control:

- who you approach, how you approach, how you look, what your dating profile looks like, who you swipe right on, and who you choose to message

These are the things you can't control:

- who's available for you to approach, whether they look approachable, the setting you two are in, the context, how they respond to your approach, whether they're single or not, whether they're interested in you or not, their comfort level with you, who sees your dating profile, who swipes on your dating profile, who responds to your messages

So there's more things that are out of your control than in it. So dating is mostly luck, and for those that don't have good luck, then it can be pretty challenging.

Gummy_Cluster · Answer

Google the law of least effort. I'm not saying you shouldn't put in some effort, but don't put in too much effort. You're wasting your time. You don't find love, love finds you.

It's a lot like fishing. The day I caught the most fish, was when I didn't want to catch fish. lol

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

The problem with dating isn't luck. It's that some people are too picky and some aren't picky enough.

Waiting around until that perfect prince charming that checks all your boxes sweeps you off your feet will leave you with no one, but giving every guy you meet your number and hoping this is finally the one will leave you broken.

You know which one you are

inhua · Answer

of course luck plays a part especially in something as subjective as dating

maybe the person right for you is on the other side of the world or recently died in a car crash or is from a different time period or is currently with someone else

blondegrrl · Answer

I think if you really want to date someone you will put the time and effort into learning how to present yourself and whatever else is required to take someone a date. It all comes down to how willing are you to take a risk and put yourself out there.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

It’s not luck. Just bad positioning. Be in the right place, or know the right people. If I’m at a farm I’m most likely ganna find chicken and cows, but if go to car dealership, how likely am I ganna find chicken and cows.. probably not. That’s why who you’re friends with and who you associate with. Is so important because that is the type of people your going to get and from there your spouse.

MRME6 · Answer

I think it is luck to a point, but if you put yourself out there and learn to get comfortable being outside your comfort zone you can meet more people and have a good relationship with someone matching your chemistry. I do think you could make your own luck. I hope you find what you're looking for!

Paul09 · Answer

Luck does play a role. But it's also kind of a controlled luck. Depending on how much you go out and put yourself out there. How skilled you are in talking to strangers. Charisma level, looks, values, how you dress up and groom yourself all can boost your success in finding someone. The more of these things you have the higher your luck rate goes up. If you (l) don't have many of these skills, my luck level drops a ton.

Tomisworthless · Answer

looks matter to everyone then personality career and wealth.

To date as a young adult you need to be at least a 6 with a great personality to even be considered by woman your age. If you don’t meet that baseline standard of attractiveness you are exiled until your 30s and 40s until the woman have had their fix of getting pounded by all the men they wanted and are now looking to settle down with those losers like me that have been left behind.

Ligerzzero · Answer

Luck does play a big factor, half to be in right place at right time, not to mention if the person you like is single, or if they are even looking.  Second factor the other 50% is looks

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Well yeah... it's a crap shoot with any new person you meet... even just to make friends. You never really know who you have standing in front of you until you really get to know them.

RockyHammock · Answer

Its controversial, but I feel luck luck/fate doesn't exist. For instance, the ugliest guy I believe could get a date if he asked out enough girls and played a numbers game. I can't speak to the girl perspective though.

NathanDavis · Answer

no.. something as complex as dating cannot be reduced to just one factor certainly not luck

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, it's based on luck, sometimes we hit lucky, while other times we don't. Also, there are people to date, but they're immature and that's where we fail.

rosemilk · Answer

luck. right time, right place, good situation in life, etc.

Shark_61695 · Answer

It takes opportunity and action. It takes luck to get the right opportunity at the right time. You then need to seize it.

Gramkabir · Answer

Yes, Dating is always a bit of luck. It's not like the girl you like will be your date every time. At the same time, matching sexual preference also matters. It all depends on you how you want your date...

Shy_Steve · Answer

It depends on a lot if things, But luck is usually about 15 to 20% of it. It can depend on how Confident you are and even how Confident they are and in what setting etc.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Dating is almost zero luck. One single interaction may succeed or fail based on luck but if you got it you got it and if you don't you don't. End of story.

msc545 · Answer

It is based on luck but also based on the idea that the person looking will have reasonable criteria. Your stated age range may be too restrictive to produce anyone of interest.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Of course it is. You're not always lucky in love on the first date.

bowenw · Answer

There is definitely some luck especially timing involved in meeting the right person.

DiegoO · Answer

People change over time and is imposible to match with more persons than not; unless you are in the top 5 of attractiveness.

Justneedtokno · Answer

I don’t think it’s luck. I think it just has something to do with. Access.

Manuel2 · Answer

Yes and no.  Yes if the person is in the right mood. No if you know what mood you are in before the date

Heolurt · Answer

Dating is firstly based on looks, looks it the most important factor especially online dating, then it's status.

Guardian45 · Answer

I'm afraid it's all up to chance. I've dated for a longass time with little success. I'm gonna give up and let Lady Luck roll the dice!

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Nope. Just money and looks. If you don't have either of those give up.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Yes it's all about the luck. I feel I'm not fortunate enough to find someone.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Some luck, but you can increase your odds by casting a wider net, as you did with the ages.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@thesimfans In my opinion, I say luck plays at least 25% of a factor whether dating succeeds or end in utter failure.

Twalli · Answer

There is a small element of luck in finding a person

test_1 · Answer

Its based on 80% looks, 10% personality, 10% status/career/life FOR BOTH GENDERS

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I think luck is definitely part of it.

Chelsdope0 · Answer

Genetics and how you look for most people.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Nope. I'm just nobody's preference.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Dating has nothing to do w/ luck

katestar89 · Answer

Yeah. I agree with you.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Nope not luck choices

krin_m · Answer

To some extent!

Cheerfull009 · Answer

It is requirement

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry sexy i don't do dates

Luopio27 · Answer

Yes very much so.

Would you say that dating is based on luck? Is it possible that people are not successful at?

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