I am dating a man 16 years older than me. Do you think it can work out?

[lemonette]

I have just started dating a new man, he is 16 years older than me. I met him online, and never considered dating someone that much older than me, but I thought I'd give it a go and it turns out we are getting on really well!

It is very early days as we've only been dating almost a month, but we get on really well, I feel comfortable around him already, he is very courteous and attentive. We have been on lots of socially distanced walks (we see each other every few days) and can spend hours talking without getting bored or having awkward silences. We've had some flirty banter, not slept together yet, but some of my friends have mentioned he is probably only interested in sex with a younger woman! However, I don't feel pressured into sex like I have with other men. He has 2 teenage sons and I've got a child at primary school. I mentioned wanting more children one day (I didn't see the point in wasting either of our time if he wasn't interested), and he said he would have more children one day as long as his children weren't adults by that point. He's said he is looking for a long-term relationship.

I am worried about the age gap, it's not something I've experienced or any of my friends/close circle have experience with. Has anybody had this kind of age gap/situation and it's gone on to be a successful relationship?

[Clyde_123]

Lol this reminds me of a guy I like who is 18 years older than me. I was single 25 years old and I showed interest him too showed interest. We just met online and he lives in US while I live in Asia. Then he doesn't have time for me he always has time to spend with her daughter which is understandle. She was 17. Then eventually our texting became cold short texts like he sometimes forgot to text me and then I asked if he is seeing someone else he said he doesn't have a girlfriend but he started to talk to his friend a woman. He talked about her everyday and he just wants to show me her pics but I didn't want to see her cuz I was jealous until I stopped texting him cuz I like him and he doesn't like me and then he got mad and text me why I stopped texting him and he said "He will stop using his kik account because Im the only one he talked there but then I dont even want to talk to him"

Just sharing but its up to you. Follow your gut.
It can work out but you need a clear communication and trust. Goodluck.

[Rei13]

I don’t have experience with such a large age gap but you’re old enough where it can work. At 27 you’re at a good life stage especially with someone so much older. I feel like it would be similar to any relationship where communication is really important and being able to do the things you both want to do. Especially since you want more kids I would discuss when you both would like to realistically start trying

[ShadowYamihiro]

Age difference is only a problem to you 2 if you make it a problem. You should not be worried about what others think and simply be in a relationship just like any other. If that age gap causes you problems later on because you will be somewhat too different cuz he is older or you are younger you can easily discuss them and try to fix them, until then enjoy your relationship and focus on each other. Being t oo focused on this will create a tension between you two and you definitely don't n eed that. if you both don't see a problem with age then definitely don't create that problem out of nowhere just because of what others think. Maybe your friends are right but what what if they aren't? You could jeopardize your relationship based on false prejudice without giving him and you both a chance. You are not a teen anymore, you have eyes and brains, if you see it is not working then you know what to do, but if its working why waste such a good opportunity to be happy with someone

[exitseven]

Age can be relative. People age at different rates. There are 50 year old guys that look no older than 40 and there are guys that look much older than they really are.
If you are good with how he looks and he is the kind of guy that takes care of himself 16 years would not seem like a big deal. You might be the type that likes to go to clubs and party with your friends all the time although I think not.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[WilmaReportu]

The internet provides anonymity, but that does not grant you the freedom to behave inappropriately. Always bear in mind that your words and actions have real-world consequences, both for yourself and those impacted by your behavior. I sincerely hope that this warning serves as a wake-up call. Reconsider your actions, learn from your mistakes, and contribute positively to the online community or you will be reported.

[love_conquers_lust]

What the fuck? Ha.

[YesterdaysChild]

I can already see the next new mod now.

[Ozanne]

It's not the age but where you are in your lives that can make it work. If you both have a connection and you find your values and what you want in life are lining up, then you're golden. These things are factors even in relationships where people are closer in age. The fact you've found it with a man who is older means so little when you have so much going for you together.

[OfDeath]

It can, but you need to be sure you will be ok with it when he is in his mid 50s and you're still in your 30s or when you hit your 50s and he is encroaching on his 70s.

People in their 50s still want adult cuddles quite a bit. But people getting towards 70 start to lose interest.

And then there is the ultimate reality that you may live a long time after he is gone.

[Anonymous]

seems very messy... i wouldn't, if i were you. sure you get along now, but eventually you'll see you two just don't share the same outlook on life. completely different generations here. i'd honestly date no higher than up to age 31 at your age.

[sexy_julia]

It can work out. I’m married to a man 35 years older than me. I was 19 when I married him, and he was 54. We are still happily married and have six kids, and are expecting our seventh child to be born in November.

[SixFootSexy]

Sounds perfect!

[YesterdaysChild]

Go with your gut. Remember, you said yourself you are worried about the age gap. Doesn't matter what anyone here says, this is your party and your choice. That being said, you will never find out unless you try.

[Bricealan]

A big age gap, with him being 43. Probably work better of YOU were older by +10. In 20 years he will be looking to 'retire' and will only be 47. I would play by ear, but don't waste a lot of time, if you have doubts.

[Apple1996]

Rarely do age gaps ever work out but you could try. Also think about how he's gonna die wayy before you if y'all do get married. You'll spend a lot of your older years alone

[Daniela1982]

Hmmmm, what are you bringing to the table besides youth? Maybe he is the one getting a "lemon" in this deal. If it doesn't sound right then don't do it.

[Paris13]

I have a Cousin younger than Me who is Dating for Years a man 15 years Older than her. He now Has Sadly Health problems but it's a Chance anyone Takes. xxoo

[ProbablyClueless]

It could theoretically work out, if the communication is there.

It probably won't work out, but a big age gap like that at your age isn't the massive red flag it would be earlier in your life.

[Drumlin2001]

So. his kids are teens already so will be adults in 5 years. Will you be ready for another child within 5 years, and then no more after then? It's a big decision that probably tells you if it's worth pursuing.

[Night_Angel]

It doesn't make any sense. Men's lives and sexuality end before women's. Men often try to dominate women younger than themselves. That's why the man must be young.

[DextroShade]

The man should always be older so there is nothing wrong with you dating this man. Be prepared to get shamed by bitter lonely women, especially if they are older.

[love_conquers_lust]

I had a 70 year oldish ancestor get a girl in her 20s pregnant. I don’t know if you’d call that a successful relationship but it happened.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but 🤮 He might drop you and the kids you have with him if when you get "too old" he thinks he still has opportunities

[boobliker]

not at all enjoy his youth to the full. at 20 ish i dated my mates mum and she told me how to do what she wanted most to makeher happy

[Jerre]

It can work out. I have dated many women 20-30 years younger than myself and still dating most of them. Several moved out of state.

[OddBeMe]

That issue gets less important the older we get, I think. If you were a teen, I’d say hell no.

But what’s causing the unease?

[zagor]

Yeah, if he takes care of himself it shouldn't be a problem.