Should a guy be expected to pay for a first date when a girl is already dating other guys?

Question

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

I watched the video and I think it's pretty stupid of the guy to even want to bother going out with a woman dating other men anyway. Even if they pay their own way, what exactly is he expecting? He's already criticizing her for doing what she's doing, what's one more date out of him supposed to accomplish?

But to answer this question objectively if there is no video showing this nonsense, the proper etiquette is whoever is doing the asking, is the one who should be paying. If the two people seem to decide together they'd like to go out, they can establish early if each will pay their way. But usually, it's one person bringing it up. That person is the one who is asking "for the pleasure of their company".

If some person is going to be stupid enough to want to date someone knowing that they are dating several people, then not only should they not pay for the date, but they shouldn't go on the date, or even consider asking the person out whatsoever until that other person gets their shit together.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If he wants to clap her cheek. OF COUSE.

It’s a demonstration that he can support her and take care of her. It’s a sign of “CARE” . If you don’t want to pay. Im not sure what type of woman is gonna allow you to clap her cheeks. 😑 CAUSE I WOULD NEVER. Every FOOL, who’s asked me out has payed.

I would never ask out a guy. You’re the male. The female becomes disabled in a pregnancy. If you can’t show that you’ll support her.

PLEASE REMOVE YOURSELF FROM SOCIETY AS A WHOLE 🪦 AND YOU KNOW WHAT MEAN.

EricSummer · Accepted Answer

It's a cultural thing. Here in French-speaking Switzerland it is still very usual for the guy to pay. In neighboring Germany (or with a German tourist) it can easily happen that she wishes to split the bill.

The fact that she has dates with other candidates is irrelevant in this, I'd say.

Of course, if she were already to date someone else, including sex and all, then I would not even take part in this. I assume you meant that she has a few dates in parallel to soon pick one of the guys as her boyfriend. This is quite uncomfortable for the guys, but I realize some women choose to arrange it that way. It's has an age-old tradition, of course.

ShadowYamihiro · Accepted Answer

Forget about paying, just forget about even going out with her since she is dating others, i mean if you are ok with it then yeah go on a date with her, but if you ain't like majority of people then forget about her, you deserve someone who will give you a chance and focus on you. You can't really give someone a chance if you dont spend a lot of time with them, going out on dates with multiple people means she ain't giving anyone a chance, just seeking attention. Leave that toxic person behind

coachTanthony · Answer

Why even go on a date with a woman who is F'ing 3 other dudes? This beta sounds like he would go on a date with her as long as she pays because of how she moves... how about not date her at all?

Avicenna · Answer

Well, if he's willing to, there is no issue. You might not know she is already dating multiple guys, but if she is, I wouldn't waste my time with her.

provokeesmokee · Answer

I think first the guy and girl need to clarify what each means when they say "dating". Because sounds to me they mean different things.

Guy views dating as "you and I ought to be exclusive and I'm not sharing".

Girl views dating as "getting to know others with no commitment early on".

That's the first topic.

If I were the girl, I'd be going Dutch or taking the bill whole. Safest option to avoid "I bought you dinner where is sex" incels.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

@emyywolf Every "fool". I like how she calls every guy who has asked her out a fool. After all that complaining and then makes the implication that those who don't pay for her latte should Hai Kiri himself. She looks Asian, nonetheless. Suicide forest, anyone?

Why should the guy be up front about paying if she's not up front about who she's dating? Which is the point of the entire post. @emyywolf 🫵 You need accountability.

She’s blocked me. She too pussy to argue with me.

nastyb · Answer

realize that you're competing with plenty of other guys that are willing to pay for dates. so if she goes out with 5 guys and you're the only guy who refuses to pay for the date, do you really think you have a chance?

most of the guys i have been out with has paid or at least offered to pay. If I ever encountered a guy who didn't offer to pay or refuses to pay, I will see it as a red flag.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I mean, how would you know she's dating other guys, unless she tells you. Most women would likely be okay with getting out on a few dates a week especially if they get a free meal ticket each time.

As my dad always told me, it may be the cost of doing business.

TipsyFr · Answer

Usually I’ll pay but I don’t go out to expensive places on a 1st date, I go to places where I know everyone and I’m comfortable. Also every woman I’ve dated makes significantly less than me so it seems sensible. If I was making the same as her though I could see how that would be a problem. In fact thinking about it if I knew she was making the same as me I would probably ask to split the bill, especially if I didn’t enjoy myself

patrick994 · Answer

It depends, if I invite a girl, on the first date I pay, the second time it will be the woman who pays in return for the kindness I have shown to her, vice versa if the woman invites me, she pays!

A guy has no obligation to pay, if he does, he does it for pleasure, then the woman if she has any dignity pays next time.

Drewtate · Answer

Look you don't have to invite her out to dinner. If she's seeing other guys it's a 30% chance she will play with your dong after dinner but you can't ever have anything serious with a girl who's with multiple guys.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't live in america, but when me and my boyfriend (before dating) went out I wanted to contribute be he didn't want that, he said that's a mens thing because its a nice gesture. But we were both really interested in each other, i don't know how its in america. Like how do you even know if she's dating multiple guys (thats cheating so why would you even wanna go out)

Lliam · Answer

You don't  have  to do anything. You don't have to pay for a date. You don't have to go anywhere expensive. You don't even have to ask her out on a date.

Anonymous · Answer

If you’re trying to hit then it might be in your best interest to pay. Lay your cards on the table so to speak. Keep in mind that you’ll strike out more often than not but dating is a numbers game. Eventually you’ll be able to hit one. If it’s not purely physical than no. If she’s seeing other men she pays her own share.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I always go into a date willing to pay.  I would be curious about her dating multiple guys and if/when she'd commit to me. I don't like the idea of sharing her.

artgorgeous · Answer

Sounds like she is homeless and monkeybranches through dates just for food. That's super low life lol 😁

Apple1996 · Answer

Yes dating a woman is a competition so whoever wows her the most will get to be her permanent boyfriend

Unit1 · Answer

That's just awful and throwing away money. I'd avoid this situation as best as possible, so that I'm not put in a place where she wants me to pay (being used).

inhua · Answer

why pay for someone who belongs to the streets?

slatyb · Answer

I think the person asking should pay for the date. OTOH I have a pretty good income so I never gave it much thought. If the date is so expensive that you are reluctant to pay for all of it, maybe you should plan something less expensive.

Jdodkfndosn · Answer

Save the money you'd spend on dinner and drinks and just get you a college chick who needs that $$ so she can buy her plan B pills

Yannae · Answer

The person who is inviting should pay. Just keep it cheap if you don't like to pay. I want to impress with my character, not with money.

pethouse · Answer

Ngl, after I read so much about women just using guys for free meals I have decided that my first five dates will not be at a restaurant! But the first date at a restaurant you bet I’m paying.

exitseven · Answer

If you ask a girl on a date you are going to pay.

sheikalana · Answer

Why would a man bother to go on a date with a woman who's dating other men? Regardless, my rule for the first date is whoever invited should be the one paying.

worldscolide · Answer

Absolutely not. If she's with multiple men, she deserves nothing period.

shades777 · Answer

the expected part assumes its a responsibility, your two adults, nobody owes anyone anything

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Only simps and idiots pay for first date without getting sex

Anonymous · Answer

No. Why can’t both pay separately, unless one’s unemployed/poor?

serious_miss419 · Answer

If that’s the guys narrow minded concern, then why would he go on a date with her to begin with.

Shy_Steve · Answer

For the first date I think he Should, Otherwise his date won't like him. So I reckon every Girl should walk away on a first date if he has no intention of Paying.

Anonymous · Answer

Expected to? Fuck no. But if he wants to, that's his business.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I would not date a woman who is seeing other men.

msc545 · Answer

Men refuse to pay but if they do this will be the last date.

Anonymous · Answer

A guy should never be EXPECTED to pay at anytime.

FYI345 · Answer

@emyywolf do us all a favour and shut the fuck up

LiamJHayden · Answer

The asker should at least offer.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

If he invited her. If she invited him, no.

zoe2187 · Answer

Of course. Guys should always pay! Always! 😁

Nifrayu · Answer

No. Definitely not.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

For sure

Should a guy be expected to pay for a first date when a girl is already dating other guys?

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