So I saw a guy that liked me years back, I’m talking like 7 years. We were quite full on at the time and really liked each other but we were children and we lost contact. 4 years later I then wanted to find him on social media so I eventually did, and my I got my friend to add him from her popular meme account. It’s kind of like an entertainment page.
I didn’t have any intention of contacting him like that so I didn’t want him knowing it was me, I just kept up to date with his life for a few months and saw that he wasn’t single so I took him off of my friends account. Fast forward to a day where I’m with that same friend and a guy is walking past with his eyes peeled and kind of glaring, I think he was confused if it was me or not cuz it’s been a few years. He watches me for a long time before looking at my friend and then pulling angry faces and looking away soon after. He recognised her from the account and realised what happened. So he has told his brother since and I think he blocked the meme account. My friend also told me she sent another follow request because she “thought she was helping me” so he would assume that was me, this would have been a month before we saw him in public.
Fast forward to 3 years later, I see him with another girl in town. When he sees me he stops to look at me and comes a little closer to get better look. She then calls him because he’s acting weird, he then walks back towards her and I kind of legged it out of there.
It’s been a month since then and his profile is on public right now. He’s not had his profile public before, at least I’ve not seen it. It was obvious he didn’t like the fact that I was using my friends account to stalk his account a few years ago. Do you think him putting it on public has anything to do with me or am I reaching?
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1Opinion
Honestly I think you’d be best suited forgetting about the guy completely. If you’re being honest and you only check his account here and there over the stretch of several years, then for all you know it was public last week. For all you know its changing every few months because that’s just what he wants to do, so unless you’re stalking his page (which I doubt, but you probably are) then you don’t know. No need for this mystic air of like confusion when it comes to his activity either. He’s taken, and if he’s a good guy then nothing he does will “coincidentally” be to grab another woman’s, I. E your, attention. He probably wouldn’t even know why he has it after all this time and the last situation with your friend.
He defo has wondering eyes, not sure if that makes him a good guy or a bad guy but it is what it is. I don’t know if he’s the type to cheat, but I do know he looks at other girls.
Before I added him on my friends account I would check up his Twitter which is public, and his insta profile quite regularly just in case he made it public or changed his profile pic… yeah I was obsessed… I was like 18 at this time I think. So I did stalk his socials a while before I got my friend to send a request to his private account. I also would check up on it regularly after he found out, not by sending a request but just searching his private account up because he was on my mind after the whole thing. It did eventually fizzle out and I met other guys.
The first time I’ve seen his instagram public is now, like a month after he saw me in town. Anyway, I’m not fully convinced it’s because of me, but I wanted to know what others thought. I do forget about him when I’m not single or have other guys to talk to, he’s someone I think about when I’m lonely I guess.
I believe the obsession is gone, but there’s still a bit of fixation if anything. What makes you circle back to that guy in lonely moments? Sounds like the fling was fleeting compared to how long it’s been since then.
Sorry I know this was 2 months ago but I never saw your response. I’d like to reply regardless.
Honestly, I never even got to speak to him. What happened was we saw each other at two events and it was the most chemistry I’ve ever felt in my life with anyone. I won’t get into the details but he made it quite clear he was attracted too, especially at the second event but it was with men and women separated so I only saw him for the first 15 mins and then he was gone. Never really saw him again apart from being in public
I get that, like until you find a better connection your mind’s gonna keep traveling back to that one guy who made you feel like no one else has. I think it’s the what if factor like what if it worked with you guys? Where would you be now? But I do believe everything happens for a reason and you weren’t meant to be together. I’m in a long term relationship now with the most amazing man I ever met and sometimes I can help but think back on my road to him. I had one dude specifically that I thought was end-game and seemed absolutely perfect. In hindsight he wasn’t so great, but because I hadn’t experienced better or had a man make me feel how he did I coveted that connection a lot. I had other failed situations too but that stuck out specifically. Sometimes I wish those guys never happened and I just got straight to this one but they were part of my journey to the right one just how that one dude is part of yours.
Yeah you’re right. That’s exactly what it is. I’ve not had anyone top off what happened that day and have that sort of effect on me, the thing is before he even saw me I had already weeded him out from the crowd and thought he was a straight up 9.5/10. So when I realised he noticed me too, I was pretty damn excited. He’s never completely left my thoughts since. It felt like unfinished business for so long.
It’s really nice to hear your viewpoint in all this. Yeah it’s true, I haven’t had many good guys around, even if you think about male role models from my childhood. So I guess I’m just fixed on this guy because we had instant chemistry just from how I noticed him first and then he noticed me, it just sounded like it was meant to be except nothing came of it. Anyway, I hope I find someone like you did, you sound very happy and that’s lovely to hear
I completely get where you’re coming from. I know you didn’t ask for this tidbit but I think it will help to share. With the guy I mentioned, we met because it was NYE at the bar, he was a bartender, we’d been hitting it off great and I wanted to start my year off doing something ballsy. I leaned over the bar and we kissed, and that was like adding to the spark I was already feeling. He was so freaking handsome, about 6’5 and such a gentleman it seemed. In our time on and off, I didn’t know what to do because he was treating me so much better than any guy ever. I relate with you when you say you had childhood issues with men, like I did mainly with my dad, and that it contributed to how long I stayed in that bad situation. It took me longer than I expected to really let him go and heal. Lots of crying, I even embarrassed tf out of myself at that bar one night when he brushed me off because he had a girlfriend with him even though he wouldn’t be in a relationship with me lol, i can humor myself about it now. Soooo many trials but man, when it gets better it really does. I know you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’re just in the entrance, I never dated a good man in all 10 years of my 20s. I believe you’ll also find your person you just have to give yourself the chance. That means letting this dude go and understanding that what’s meant for you will really be easy. I know it’s such a freaking cliche but it’s true. You are the 9.5/10 as well, and I think once you give yourself that credit and build up your self esteem you will believe it as well and not even think of this dude again.
Maybe he feels he got rid of you so not afraid to go public he has a girlfriend and no you can't take him from her
Lmao. Some girls be projecting. Thanks anyway
I guess
Cause how else would he know it was you on your friends account
Girl bye
That didn’t make any sense and you’re acting like you did something. What do you mean how else would be know? He saw us together.
What other explanation is why he made his profile public all because you followed him and unfollowed? Maybe he's showing off... I doubt he likes you. You guys have no history together
My bad you guys do have history. I think he's showing off maybe because for whatever reason you two didn't work he's now trying to rub it in your face
Maybe you hurt him in some way I don't know there's no context on how your relationship went
I was just asking, I’m not convinced he did it because of me but it is a bit of a coincidence considering he’s never had it public before. Not in years anyway, and I mean before I got my friend to add him.
No not because I followed and unfollowed, because we saw each other in town is what I probably thought because it’s been a month and that’s the first time he’s seen me in 3 years. We have a bit of history, just not much. Maybe he is showing off but that would still be a bit too much effort to put on someone you don’t like if you didn’t give no crap about them
Oh I didn’t see your other responses. I don’t think I did honestly, unless he was annoyed I never made direct contact with him and instead did the weird thing and got my friend to add him. I wouldn’t do that anymore but I was like 19 then. We were together one minute and then we lost contact and haven’t spoken since. A but if a strange situation. He doesn’t even have pics of his girlfriends on his insta so I doubt he’s showing off for his relationships with other girls. The most you could see is their comments under his pics and that was only the first girl from when I followed and unfollowed. He was with another girl in town and he has no comments from anyone that would seem like more than a friend.
Maybe he's trying to get your attention. You seemed to have been watching him for a long time. Don't play the wonder game. Add him on your page and say what's up
I don’t really check up on him anymore, it’s only because I saw him recently and he’s on my mind again. I also don’t have any intention of stealing him away cuz if you can steal a guy away he’s not marriage material, he will do the same to you. I’m not trashy like that, just dumb from my past mistakes when I was a teen.
His brother gives me weird looks since he saw me with my friend in town, so I don’t really want to reach out anymore. I know he’s told his brother (I know his brother because he’s married to my cousin but I still wouldn’t say I’ve properly spoken to his brother, ever. Just hello and that’s it). We don’t come from a culture where you’re open about your love life so I wouldn’t go out of my way to contact him like that unless we saw each other again and we never did.
Anyway thanks for the change in tone and helping me out enough to have a discussion because last thing I’m trying to do is steal him lol.
Anything is possible
😭😭