Do men dislike women who are too pure?

[Anonymous]

I am a 27 year old African American woman. I've worn a purity ring since I was 15 years old and will continue to wear one until I get married however long that may take, like it says on my ring true love waits. I also don't drink, smoke, or do any kind of drugs. Recently a man told me he would never date me because I'm "too pure". Like what does that even mean? And can someone explain to me why it's a bad thing exactly? Will men really never want to date me because of this?

[MrOracle]

The men who won't date you are the men who don't take relationships seriously and really are just looking to have fun with you for a while. Most won't be honest about that, but it's the truth. Also, people who live a party lifestyle - drinking, smoking, drugs, bars, etc. won't because they don't want to give up their lifestyle. But here's the thing: those are EXACTLY the kind of men that your morals and boundaries are intended to protect you from.

The kind of man who shares your morals and values is going to be fine with how you are and will appreciate your purity. Unfortunately, those men will rarely be the hot, popular guy. Such men are attractive and exciting to women, in part because they are dangerous, irresponsible, and don't follow the rules.

They are kind of like a sugary candy treat - very good-looking and tasty, but zero nutritional substance and certainly going to have a very negative effect on you if you indulge in it regularly. And most western women today are just looking to eat as much candy as they can, convinced that it's perfectly healthy, which is why most women chase those men.

[Lliam]

I don't dislike them, but I would never date one because I wouldn't even consider marrying a woman unless I knew we were sexually compatible. Sexual compatibility is as important as other aspects of compatibility.

I also think people who deliberately have never been in a relationship are odd. I'm not talking about sleeping around. I'm talking about having a boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. Engaging in monogamous, mutually infatuated relationships is healthy. It's how you find the perfect partner, learn about life, gain knowledge, experience and wisdom.

I place zero value on "purity". It's nothing to cherish any more than never going to the beach or learning to drive or eating tasty foods are things to take pride in.

Someone who has sexual hangups would not be compatible with my values.
None of my girlfriends were virgins. My wife wasn't a virgin when we met and we've been happily married now for 26 years.
I never ask about anyone's "body count" and none ever asked about mine.

[Anonymous]

Guys like that aren't worth the 9 months their mother spent carrying them. Statistically they're users, jumping from woman to woman, and contributing nothing of value in life.

As for you absolutely nothing wrong with being "pure" and don't ever listen to losers like the guy you mentioned. Ever. They're losers, good for little & always will be bottom of the barrel in relationships just as how they are in life.

[WhitneySnow]

Guys like that are gross. If you want to do the purity thing go for it girl. I mean technically it’s his right not to go out with a girl who won’t put out, but he’s not even worth your time to answer.

[ManOnFire]

I too am like you in that I don’t drink or smoke or live the wild life. I drink socially, and that's it. I think you’re doing everything right. Men who feel like you're "too pure" are men who know they aren't living the kind of life you are, and feel intimidated, guilty, or like they failed in trying to be upright. So they try to pass it off as if you're naive or inexperienced.

Women do the same thing to men vice versa, and they actually do it to men even more than men do it to women, because in their minds a man should be something rugged or rough around the edges.

[Summeroflove]

Absolutely not. Good men who also have standards for themselves want a woman whose pure.

It’s the man whores who just want to sleep around. It’s the same as degenerate women who shame men for not having sex. Only to feel better about themselves.

[coachTanthony]

Men want purity but on the flip side they are kind of hypocritical because they also want a freak in the sheets and lets face it... purity and freak don't mix lol

[Anonymous]

You aren't pure if you have fantasies of being dominated, abused, degraded, and subjugated.

That's the real fear men have but don't know it.

They're afraid a girl had too much sex and experienced too much.

The reality is that men should be afraid that they are not capable of satisfying her fantasies, and that she will go elsewhere some day.

Or that she has had her fantasies satisfied in the past, and that he is inadequate as he doesn't understand why women love to be dominated, abused, degraded, and subjugated and so on.

Basically, most women are far from pure because most desire as I described to some degree.

[Anonymous]

I'd wife you. Do you seriously want a guy that doesn't like that you are pure? Think about it. Think about it. What does that tell you about that guy? Who cares if he doesn't want you because he is a horrible fit for you. Let the sluts have him. We sometimes get so caught up into wanting to be wanted that we forget what dont even want the other person.

You are literally perfect in regard to drink, drugs, and sex. Why would I want someone who has conditioned their mind in a way that leads them to being a slut for life or an addict. That's what people dont understand. Once you start sleeping around you are literally conditioning yourself to live that way. Good luck turning it off after 10 years of that. Even 5 years with something like sex which releases so many chemicals. Our subconscious is control 96% of our results... It's so power and surely not a game to be played with.

[RingOfFire]

First I wouldn't say it is either a good thing or a bad thing. What should matter to you is that it is YOUR thing. Good or bad is a matter of opinion. If it's good for you that is all that counts.

As far as why some men might not like it, there could be a number of reasons. Maybe THEIR thing is that they like the things that you don't, like drinking, smoking, drugs or premarital sex. If that's THEIR thing, they are as entitled to it as you are to YOUR thing. Some guys just don't want that kind of girl. It may feel too restrictive and inflexible to them. It probably means they are not the right partner for you. The key is to find someone who is compatible. You don't have to worry about the rest.

So it's not a matter of right or wrong, good or bad, it's a matter of personal choice.

[DextroShade]

You are getting to an age where it's beginning to look weird that you haven't found a single guy you liked enough to marry or have sex with. Normally women who practice this level of traditional lifestyle get married young and to a man they are set up with by their parents or church/mosque/temple. What these guys are really saying is they are worried that you are inherently frigid and would remain so in a marriage, which is an extremely bad position for a man to be in. Time is running out, so you will either need to find a man through the channels I mentioned or abandon this lifestyle entirely because virgins can still hit the wall.

[BlackBeauty90]

ROFL

[AaronKrieger]

Yes, but that's not a bad thing, since it just means you two are likely incompatible. That guy probably figured you wouldn't like his past or current habits, but maybe he wants someone to do that stuff with.

For me, I do not drink, smoke, or do any kind of drugs, so I do not go after those who abuse those things. Same for hookups, since it's not my thing. It's nothing personal, but we are different people. I am guessing he felt that way about you.

[strateguy632]

firstly i have GREAT respect for people like you with self control. the guy was just trying to manipulate you... so he could "get some" like get milk without buying the cow.

only the ones who "will leave you quickly won't date you", so skip them and the heart break!!

[DannyUk2017]

Don't mind what "other men say" they are jealous, as they want to get in between the sheets from the first day, the Impatience for something "amazing" is gone, these days are just after.. parties, drugs and sex, not like before... taking the girl out, ice cream, flowers, long walks & talks, and kissing maybe at a later stage...🤷‍♂️

[Lionman95]

No it just means you´re not right for him. If he´s a guy that doesn´t believe in purity so to say that wants to sleep with a woman without a relationship then you´re not the right woman. But I think it´s hard to generalise that I would say there are still guys that are differently have a different opinion concerning purity than he does.

[Joshydavid25]

He probably meant that he thinks you would be kinda boring to be with.. And obviously he is looking for a woman who probably has more "experience"... But no there are plenty of men who would like you.. You are on the right path.. You just gotta get through the weed smoking porn addicts..

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, those are positive things about you. He's just trash. Being a virgin who doesn't use recreational drugs is required. I'm the same in that regard.

Though I've never heard of a purity ring before, I'd likely mistake it for a wedding or engagement ring and ignore any woman who has one, thinking they are just trying to cheat on their husband by hitting on me.

Maybe start a purity necklace tradition or something?

[MJtheCoach]

Quit lying and SIMPING

[Aakash_Hangargi]

He just means you are boring for him and you couldn't share the things he likes together.

This was once very common in India now it has changed but nobody wore a purity ring for it.

I don't even understand why you need a ring for that may be its custom I think yeah so it's fine.

[OfDeath]

No. That's just ridiculous. 27? You are wasting your life. These are your best years, you should be having fun and if you want to find someone, you need to be putting yourself out there and you need to be putting out or you won't even know if you like the sex with someone.

Besides, if someone is that sentimental about a thing as instinctive and natural as sexual enjoyment, I know I would clash with that sort of personality.

[Surely]

At your age. You are becoming more and more set in your ways. Probably not willing to accept anything less than your expectations.
So good luck in the dwindling numbers of choices for a life long mate! Especially if you are looking for a “Pure “ man!

[Anonymous]

Not really but I hate girls who are racist, judge quickly and rude. Coward white girls who are blocking me here out of no reasons and no interaction with them. I'm blocking them back.

At least from this website I have got a negative and bad views about them from doing so. I have no interest in them. Just wondering why they blocking me without any interaction. Didn't know they are so sensitive and timid. 🤔

[Anonymous]

Any man who won't date you because you are "too pure" is a low quality man. You are indeed a high quality women, the kind of woman high qualty men are looking for but have a VERY hard time finding today. Don't change. Save yourself for a good man. You deserve it.

[LitPrince]

Apparently he is sick, he doesn't deserve you because he deserves woman who mess around. You deserve a man who is also pure minded. I'm so proud of you by the way.
Same people attract same people, those men obviously like sex and not the woman herself.

[LitPrince]

And, you deserve a man who doesn't corrupt your innocence and purity but treasure it with a good heart

[Anonymous]

ii wouldn't date you to begin with (nothing personal) but if i did i wouldn't believe your purity claims anyway.
re. shakespeare protest too much etc.
or in other words i think you're fullof it based on my understanding of human nature and an inbuilt bullshit meter thats proved infallible for the past 50 years.
Nevertheless good luck with that whole thing you're going with
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