I just got out of a three year relationship 4 months ago. My ex and I broke up because she wants kids and I do not. We had so much in common and went through so much together and I am having a really hard time moving on.
My friends were all bugging me that I should put myself out there just for casual stuff and I ended up making a bumble account. I went on a date with a new girl we will call her Jane and we had an amazing time I immediately asked her on another date. I hate admitting it but she was a really good distraction. She’s exactly my type, absolutely beautiful inside and out, so funny, I could talk to her for hours. and probably some of the best sex I have ever had in my life. She even has some of the same life goals as me and doesn’t want kids. Eventually I didn’t know how to bring up the fact that I’m not over my ex and didn’t know when I should or if I was too late. Part of me still wants to get back together with my ex even if that means having kids.
Fast forward to now we’ve been seeing each other for a month and a half and I feel like shit for not being honest with her. I can tell she wants a relationship with me and we were getting closer and closer, I could tell she was falling for me and I still had no clue how I was feeling. I felt so guilty that I still love my ex and I know Jane deserves so much more. So I reached out to my ex and found out she moved on so now I’m a wreck.
I saw Jane last week and I could not help but feel like a horrible person, she was being so sweet and affectionate to me it made me feel more guilty. What I did next I am not proud of. I ghosted her. She texted me asking why I was ignoring her and I didn’t respond to her for a few days and finally just told her I’m not over my ex. She responded very maturely and also told me how much I hurt her.
That was a few days ago and now I regret even telling her and I want her back. What should I do?
