Why is It a Bad Thing to Not Want to Date a Divorced Woman?

[Shiningtempest]

I am asking this question because I am wondering why it's a bad thing that I don't want to date a woman who went through a divorce. Holding everything else equal, I'd rather be a bachelor than deal with emotional baggages that comes with dating a divorced woman.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Some women that have been in bad marriages, learn in a subsequent marriage, to pick her battles and are more likely to recognize petty issues and overlook them.


Women looking for a good husband can be a real learning experience. She learns what she can live with and what she absolutely won’t put up with.


Married women will work very hard to stay with a man she truly loves, but over time if he continues to cause her heart ache, she will reach her breaking point.


A single man that has never married, won’t understand that. A single man that’s involved with a divorced woman should embark on a long engagement to determine if he should commit to her. A divorced woman with young children will not settle for the first man that comes along. For that marriage isn’t about her so much as it is for her kids. And some divorced mothers can have really great children. It is up to the divorced woman to keep her ex in check for the sake of the children and new marriage.


A divorced woman can make a wonderful wife and stepmother even with that so called “baggage”.


Find one and give her a break.

[Shiningtempest]

@Peter_Penetrator I'd rather be a bachelor than date a divorced woman.

[lightbulb27]

it's not a bad thing, who said it is. It's just a choice that limits your options and at your age, it's very viable to find non divorced. In fact, even well into 40's.

There can be baggage, but there can also be experience behind her in which she learned and it improves chances 2nd time around. I think you are making an assumptions... caveat, I've seen the reports that if someone divorices they likely divorce two or more times more. But that's not all.

So you do what you want. I married my wife whom was previously divorrced. she learned a lot in the prior which was stress and headaches that I think she's thankful for meeting me, I din't have that baggage. There's a lot you don't know getting married first time around/dating... you have to learn.

I know multiple people that married divorced that are happy 2nd time around and lasting. I know people married first time... that blow up.

[nice-girl]

It can actually be an advantage if she learned her lessons, and especially if you are divorced too, it means that you can be at the same stage.

But, yes, being divorced once increases the chances of getting divorced again. Like, why did she leave the first husband? Why did she give up on her marriage instead of working on it?

But, again these questions don't tell the whole story, maybe the ex husband was the one who gave up.

[wolfcat87]

Your reasoning for not wanting to is bad, but not wanting to isn't bad. Everyone has preferences, like women who only like men under 25, tall men, fit men, red haired green eyed men, black men with blue eyes, men with penises over 8 inches, etc. Your preference is as valid as those.

[Avicenna]

Well, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to date a divorced woman, and at your age you can easily avoid doing that and still have lots of options. That gets a lot harder once you hit 40.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

A relationship is a relationship & everyone has different relationship & dating preferences & it’s not a bad thing to not want to date a divorced woman & I totally understand where you are coming from & your thoughts as well.

As for me I had a separated woman with a child ask me out & if truth be told I turned her down. Single is single, married is married & to me separated is still married & it wouldn’t be fair on me & I didn’t want to be her rebound guy as well.

I totally understand baggage & if the separated woman was divorced & she asked me out I would give her a chance.

[Miristheiss]

Bad?

If a man is single and has never been married it should be expected that he won't date and get with divorced women.

Any wise mom/dad should preach that to their sons. It should be the expected norm that single guys go pair up with single girls that haven't been married before and don't have kids.

Let the divorces and single parents marry their own. Let them have their 2nd marriages with each other and do the Brady Bunch things where single parents marry and they can have their blended families.

Singles should always pair up with other singles.

[Flatmanlewis]

Conversely, this is a person who may (more likely than not) have learned from some of the mistakes of their failed marriage and may be a better person for the experience. I know I learned a lot after a divorce and absolutely brought a different mindset and different priorities into relationships, after that.

[YAsQuen]

naw they can't learn if everyone continuesly says its the mans fault

[NZGirl07]

I don't think it's bad that that is your preference.

I think you labelling divorced women as emotional baggage feels a bit disrespectful though. People marry and divorce for lots of reasons. The way you worded that makes it feel misogynistic.

[YAsQuen]

she is used up goods

[NZGirl07]

So are you

[Sasha0426]

@YAsQuen Same with divorced men or single fathers.

[CuBu25]

Who says it is bad for a man not wanting to marry a divorced woman? To a man, a woman's prior marriage to another man is a marker of her emotional commitment. Regardless of how many men a woman has dated, if she has never been married, she has never crossed that marker of commitment to a man. That marker is unique because it is the only legal marker of a couple's union. It also has huge societal and cultural significance dating back thousands of years. It's like a woman's virginity, a woman's other marker, the marker of her physical purity. In today's world, as it becomes impractical for a man to demand physical virginity from his future bride, he is hanging on to the hope of finding a woman who at least has never been married, who at least has never crossed that other marker. While she might have had sex with many guys before, at least she has never been claimed by a husband.

[LazerBean]

It's not a bad thing. I don't know why anyone would want to date a divorced person when 90% of non divorced people already have an intolerable amount of baggage and mental illness.

[HaleyCatgirl]

Behold when you make up a statistic and pull it out of your ass 🤣

[Sasha0426]

@HaleyCatgirl Don’t mind her. She’s just a bully.

[HaleyCatgirl]

I like being logical and actually a researching stuff and that's a fake statistic she posted don't look at me when facts don't care about your feelings. Don't ever try to bend statistics to match what you're saying. Shows how untrustworthy the person is apparently y'all don't like logical thinking though so yeah have fun

[LazerBean]

One of you is a child who is already well on their way to being a single mom, and the other is a middle aged cat lady who has never been in a successful relationship. Y'all need to calm down on giving advice on things you don't know about.

[HaleyCatgirl]

Told you people don't like logical thinking thanks for proving my point 😁

[serious_miss419]

It’s only bad if you believe it is.


Why’s it bad to date a single guy without kids?
Why’s I had to date a guy that lives at home?
Why’s it bad to date a guy with kids that he sees every other weekend or never?
Why’s it bad to date a guy that isn’t born and raised locally?
Why’s it bad to date a guy that doesn’t have a vehicle?
Why’s it bad to date a guy that this and that?

[7Phoenix7]

It's not a bad thing, really. Someone who's been through a divorce most likely has some emotional baggage. But then again most people have emotional baggage even if they've never been married.

[wolfcat87]

true

[cnj421]

I mean everyone has baggage. Divorced or not. So if you don’t want to deal with anyone’s baggage then it’s best you stay single period.

[wolfcat87]

yup, everyone has it

[Blueeyes81]

You'll have to deal with emotional baggage with women who have never married as well. If they have been in any relationship there will be emotional baggage.

[Sasha0426]

Then men would definitely hate me once they find out I’ve never been married or been in a relationship.

[TrueConfection]

Would you prefer a married woman?

jk

There's nothing wrong with not wanting the emotional baggage and possible stalker exhusband.

[Billlewis]

I'd much rather date a divorced woman than a woman who has never been married or had a long term relationship, because a divorcee knows what she wants and doesn't want, and she'll be more likely to let me know how to please her.

[DextroShade]

I don't blame you at all as there is an 80% chance she initiated the divorce. If she did it to the last guy she will likely do it to you, and as a man you have a lot to lose. Recreational use only my friend.

[SotiCoto]

Doesn't seem like a bad thing to me. Seems like it would be a great idea for you to abstain from dating divorced women... or anyone else for that matter.

[molonski2]

I think at my age it would probably be unfair , but at your age certainly NOT , too much baggage to carry , stick to your guns.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Mate that is your choice. IF someone has a problem with that then put them in your rear view mirror and smile and wave as you pass them.

[HaleyCatgirl]

I don't know what to say on this I'm about to turn 16 so I don't have real much knowledge about marriage 😂

[Monalisa77]

Does this mean they deserve to be miserable forever?

[Äxlbäksölöl]

Yes of course😁😁😁

[Monalisa77]

Why?

[YAsQuen]

your actions have consequences. Women dont learn in todays society. Say it out loud. MY actions have CONSWQUENCES.

[Monalisa77]

Im talking about either gender

[YAsQuen]

the man can't anyway he has to pay her bills. She shouldn't because we mad at wamen.

[Nikki1989]

You call it baggage. Some would call it life experience.

[JacobJordan]

no one would call it that. experience isn't held over you every time something goes wrong. experience doesn't get mad at you for doing something you hate because you didn't say anything. experience doesn't come with any of the problems people with baggage have. baggage and experience are entirely different. baggage is what happens when someone doesn't learn so they bring the toxicity into the next relationship. experience is what happens when someone does learn and they make better choices going forward so as to not have repeat relationships

[petitedollbabee]

It isn’t.. who told you that it was? We’re all allowed our preferences.

[LiamJHayden]

When it comes to relationships with others, those who try to shame you generally do so because they themselves get excluded by your preferences. It is safe to ignore them.

[wolfcat87]

I don't think that's true...

[captain_voidwalker]

Well divorced when already scamed a man out of half thier shit what makes you think they won't do it to you?

[Likes2drive]

It’s probably worse if they have kids but if they didn’t then there is no baggage really

[Sasha0426]

I think this should go for men and women who are divorced.

[CuBu25]

It should to be fair but in nature, males and females do not value the same thing. For example, women do not care as much about a man's number of past sexual partners while men care more about a woman's sexual promiscuity. Women are generally more forgiving of a man's sexual infidelity while most men will leave a woman at the first sight of the woman's infidelity. Likewise, women are more open to divorced men than men are open to divorced women. All of the above differences are rooted in the different roles each gender plays in reproduction. We may all wish otherwise but nature is not fair.

[Asad1ONE1]

@CuBu25 🤡🤡

[Asad1ONE1]

@CuBu25 At 33 years old I'd expect you to know much better

[YAsQuen]

@Asad1ONE1 women and men are different. So whats your problem exactly?

[Asad1ONE1]

@YAsQuen Yes they are different. But not in this category.

[JacobJordan]

@Asad1ONE1 yes they most certainly are. divorced men and divorced women have 2 entirely different stigma's attached to them. hell even the fact a lot of divorced men do not risk getting into a relationship ever again as compared to a lot of divorced women will immediately look for another partner is proof of that the difference you claim doesn't exist.

[Asad1ONE1]

@JacobJordan Then explain why I've heard of countless women complain about their boyfriend/husbands not being virgins? And many guys don't care.

Gender is irrelevant here.

[JacobJordan]

@Asad1ONE1 he isn't talking about virginity he is talking about divorce. If you going to argue at least argue on topic rather than an entirely different point that has no bearing

[Asad1ONE1]

@JacobJordan Well that too. There is no reason for this to be gender specific. Makes ZERO sense.

[YAsQuen]

@Asad1ONE1 what happens during a stereotypical divorce? Can u sterotypically turn that one around and the shoe still fits? I would argue no.
My argument therefore is that since during the divorce the experiences are gender specific they are also gender specific after the divorce. (im not mentioning 100 other points to simplify this)

[daveinoly77]

the heart wants what the heart wants. Nothing wrong with it

[IslaTheWitch]

You decide who you date. It's easy, right?

[bededazzle]

it's not. just a preference

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

Nope it's your preference

[BluePoppies]

Do people even give a shit? lol

[jahaims]

It's not

[Daffotul]

it isn't

[Slim57]

It's not