Would you take someone back after they told you once that they don't want to be with you?

[Username678]

Hello,

If someone told you they don't want to be with you and then came back after a month or so completely changed, a perfect person, is there a version where you would take that person back?

[DaveJord]

Okay, okay... so this is going to be a very honest response... but it will be one of those type of responses that some will not want to hear.

As a standard rule, no I would never take them back except...

How good was the sex... because I have been done really dirty by a few women... but the sex was so fucking hot!!! Like the bad boys, or crazy chicks... well they are bad and crazy... but they also can really fuck so good!

So, there are few out there that if they came back around, I would work that situation into more sex... and if they really did change all that much who knows right? Maybe, we end up in the white house, with a picket fence and dog together.

But honestly after a month... dudette let me tell you this one universal truth... and I mean this is universal and challenge anyone to challenge me on this one absolute truth.

People really do not change all that much... sure over a course of a lifetime we change a lot... but over the course of a few weeks or months... no fucking way. This person thought they had something going on the side, and it backfired. So, he is just now coming back around to you, as his back up chick. But that does not mean by itself you cannot have a strong and productive relationship. People make mistakes and sometimes that's a good thing.

So, I would say to you is this... trust your gut and instincts. If this is a guy you connect with online or something... but never really got into dating each other... I would not dismiss him out of hand. Online is hard and people make mistakes, so if that is the case then see where it goes.

[Username678]

Thank you flr sharing your opinion.
Interesting you mention sex. One of my guy friends also told me he had a crazy ex so sex was good.. Always wondered what makes sex with crazy people so great...

The worst thing for me is - he did not apologise. When i asked him if he dated someone else he said no.
I think i like him so much that i would forgive him but he said it was "a silly thing he said. Everyone makes mistakes" that's all.

So I'm afraid he will do something dimi5in future...

And it does feel like second choice...

[DaveJord]

Well, I do a lot of online dating... and I am not even sure if this is the case with you. But if you are online for long it can be bad for your mental health. So I have been online off and on for years. So, I have been put through a lot of bull shit trust me.

So, are there things I wish I could take back or do over again? YES!!! People do some silly things; we get all caught up in stupid relationship drama... and online does really force you sometimes into making choices you honestly are not ready to make.

Like you like or message 10 women at time... maybe one or two get back with you. And before you even get to a first date you are talking to two or three women at a time... most of them wash out in the first week... or you think you had a great thing with someone and then they ghost for no reason.

Like I said, you lived this thing... so trust your gut. But I would not say dismiss him out of hand... if you are seriously interested then what's the harm in trying to find out who he really is... but trust your gut at every step.

I have washed out on many women, but mostly it was due to the difficulty of online dating, and their unforgiving nature about it. You let your pride get in the way, so pass on them... then weeks later you start thinking maybe that was mistake... because this other woman ended up being a crazy chick... and now you missed that opportunity.

I have cut if off with many women for things like this... but it was not the that they were talking to other guys, or if they were playing games as much as it was how they made me feel. So yes, we would all want them to be honest and tell use exactly what it was... but sometimes that's a big ask when there are no good answers... and on some level if he says he made a mistake... then maybe he did just make a mistake... but never assume anything.

[Username678]

Thank you for your input.
Yes, that might have been the case...

We had about 4 dates during this time.
So we knew each other for some time.

I really don't know what to think..

I'm just scared that at some point he actually enjoyed the fact that l like him so much and became q bit arrogant.

Now i don't know... I like him but at the same time scared of him being arrogant again.

Thanks again, I'll see... How it goes.

[Unycorn]

No. I am not second choice

[dudeinohio]

No. i would not.