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There are 2 women I met when I was doing a business course 2 years ago.
Anyways, we became friends and meet up every now and then.
I thought we would all talk and share details of our lives. But it seemed they were interested in talking about theirs. I listened to one and I basically concluded that in her work situation she's probably best not standing up for others as it always lands her in the dirt.
The 2nd was telling us about a guy she met in Portugal who turned out to be 20 years younger than her (this made her reluctant to let things progress), and as respectful as he was initially he did go in for a kiss after they watched the sunset. She said that she rejected him 2x but they did end up kissing.
When she returned she had a really off day, despite their constant texting, that evening she didn't text as usual she said that the following day she received a text from him stating that he felt hurt that she had rejected him and felt like she was ghosting him.
Much to her disgust she responded angry and explained that it was the anniversary of her sons passing and she also heard from a friend that they are struggling to conceive, they were told by fertility doctors that the chances are very low. Given her age and her desire to birth another child on her own she spiralled and felt pretty depressed.
There were other things she mentioned about him but in all honesty it felt like he was just trying to appear better than he was to impress her. So I did say, "it seems that he seems that there is a lot of bravado on his part, which is probably age related.. if you could get passed his age could you not just accept it for what it is, just a holiday romance?"
She then said time is not to be wasted and she doesn't want to mess around, she was already married for 13years it took 3 years to finalise the divorce... She also went on to say that she doesn't want to just have a fling as it takes a lot for her to open up, because she was attacked. I did say this was her time.
Anyways, we became friends and meet up every now and then.
I thought we would all talk and share details of our lives. But it seemed they were interested in talking about theirs. I listened to one and I basically concluded that in her work situation she's probably best not standing up for others as it always lands her in the dirt.
The 2nd was telling us about a guy she met in Portugal who turned out to be 20 years younger than her (this made her reluctant to let things progress), and as respectful as he was initially he did go in for a kiss after they watched the sunset. She said that she rejected him 2x but they did end up kissing.
When she returned she had a really off day, despite their constant texting, that evening she didn't text as usual she said that the following day she received a text from him stating that he felt hurt that she had rejected him and felt like she was ghosting him.
Much to her disgust she responded angry and explained that it was the anniversary of her sons passing and she also heard from a friend that they are struggling to conceive, they were told by fertility doctors that the chances are very low. Given her age and her desire to birth another child on her own she spiralled and felt pretty depressed.
There were other things she mentioned about him but in all honesty it felt like he was just trying to appear better than he was to impress her. So I did say, "it seems that he seems that there is a lot of bravado on his part, which is probably age related.. if you could get passed his age could you not just accept it for what it is, just a holiday romance?"
She then said time is not to be wasted and she doesn't want to mess around, she was already married for 13years it took 3 years to finalise the divorce... She also went on to say that she doesn't want to just have a fling as it takes a lot for her to open up, because she was attacked. I did say this was her time.
Updates
5 mo
She spent a lot of time telling me this guy was a narcissist and why... I thought it was taking a lot of her brain space focusing on someone she really wasn't interested in. I guess I just feel like she's keeping herself trapped, despite having therapy.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I wouldn't be able to be as honest as you were. However, I don't think your advice was bad. You just said the truth.
But since she doesn't feel well, she can't think straight. It's sad. This guy is just playing with her. She should move on.
lol first. I think this chick is a terrible communicator. Just from what i read, she probably didn’t tell this guy any of the reason why she was ghosting him.. so she is getting mad at the fact that she isn’t a great communicator.
As for him, he is an idiot. I would never stay with a woman that rejected my advances.. once, let alone twice.. no woman is worth that time and attention
I get her reluctance to do tree spirited because she was raped years ago. But I just feel like she's keeping herself trapped. Her communication is muddled. she's smart but she struggles to articulate it in a way that's concise. It's like she's constantly over analysing everything. With him though despite her saying she didn't like him she seemed to give him a lot more time and attention than necessary. I mean she did say her guard was down but it doesn't seem like it was down enough.
I’m sorry that she was raped.. that shouldn’t happen to anyone!
Yeah, from everything you said, she needs to work on communication. For him not communicating she isn’t interested in him what so ever.. that she needs to take accountability for! Guard down or not, that’s not an excuse. She needs to be accountable for what she did or didn’t do/communicate, etc…
Not at all, most of the time is Hard to make Friends that "really care" for the other.
True!
It's incredibly hard to make good friends. But I didn't feel like any of them were being good friends... I was genuine with my advice and I really hoped they would be happy to share some joy with me in my happiness but despite me surpressing my own life I still seemed to come across like a bitch
Well, fuck them! You've done what you felt appropriate, didn't want to take it? Let the 💩 hit the fan in their face, and they will come begging and crying. 🤷♂️, then you can tell them to fuck off!