I believe that young, hot and beautiful women have to demand a successful man to be in a relationship with. Am I wrong?

[MaxUsefull]

In a way, I support gold diggers, as long as they really like the man who wants something with her.

Beauty is a value, if a woman is beautiful and hot and ends up having a relationship with a poor guy, she is throwing that value away to the garbage

Updates

5 mo

Guys, I'm not supporting a woman who chooses a man solely because of his bank account, but those who know their own worth and have the option of a broken and a successful man, she likes both but prefers the successful one, because she knows her beauty means something.

[Screenwriter]

It's wonderful to be young, hot and beautiful, but exterior beauty is usually ephemeral.

Some women peak at 17, but by 27, and a few babies, they're worn out, fat and ugly. So how would that successful man feel then? Like he was tricked?

Men need to rate women more thoroughly than looks and sex appeal.

Nearly EVERYONE is hot when they're young. "Beautiful" is subjective. There are very few, truly "beautiful" women. Loads of attractive and pretty ones.

But beauty carries a unique weight. Half of it emanates from the personality and bearing of the person in question. The rest is a gift from the gods. Sometimes a hard life wears it away, other times it's neglect or genetics.

So, I hope that successful men consider a woman who has good looks, great personality, charm, brains and maturity. Those qualities remain "hot" long after exterior beauty fades. Youth, alone, and skin-deep sexiness never stand the test of time.

I knew a great therapist who was 80 years old when I went to see her. That was a beautiful woman. Mellifluous voice, great knowledge about how the world and people worked, lovely face, great figure. She wasn't 25, but everything about her oozed loveliness, smarts, wisdom. Her husband had died, and she had TWO man-friends. One was 55 and the other was 75. She loved to dance, and the 55 year old was her regular dance partner and wanted to get serious with her. She told me, "Oh, please, he's just too young!" The 75 year old. "Oh, lord, he's falling apart!" She was also HILARIOUS!!! She also emanated deep joy and love toward people and life.

That's the kind of hot, beauty successful men should be seeking. Not saying everyone should be looking for incredible 80 year olds. That's not practical. They don't exist in high quantities. But look past a pretty face and tight butt. Date the women who interest you and find out WHO THEY ARE. No one can keep up a scam facade forever. In a few months or slightly over a year, the masks drop off. ...

No need to lay your financial prowess on the table. Just be a regular guy looking for love. Play your cards close to your vest. If that person is in love with the regular guy, she'll stay in love with the regular guy with a few more dollars and loads of sense. Good luck to you all.

[RingOfFire]

Some good points in this post. But beauty and attraction are often used interchangeably and I think they are two different things. I may think a woman is "beautiful" by some certain measure and still not be attracted to her in a romantic sense. And without romance, I feel no basis for a relationship other than possibly friendship.

[OfDeath]

It's true. One of the girls I still know from high school who was really hot back then is an absolute swamp donkey now. She's since popped out a few babies, gained a lot of weight and spent way too much time in direct sunlight. She is utterly grotesque and society would benefit from keeping her absent from public life.

[RingOfFire]

🤣
There was a girl in High School that pretty much every guy in the school wanted to get with. Somehow we got into a relationship and it lasted for about 3 years. I was the luck guy who got to take her to the prom. 😂

Flash forward about 30 years... a close friend of mine who was also in my HS class said he saw her in a supermarket and she looked like a crack whore. I duly thanked him for nuking my memories of her.

Time takes its toll on us all.

[OfDeath]

@RingOfFire yeah man time is a horrible thing

[nastyb]

@RingOfFire

You can take a pic of yourself now and compare it to when you were in high school.

You can talk shit bout her but you can't talk shit bout yourself?

[RingOfFire]

You didn't read what I wrote.

[Screenwriter]

@RingOfFire Well, you two, there's no telling what kind of life happened to these women since high school. Like I said, youth bestrows beauty on most of us. But, I also think, since most are lovely when young, no one notices what they've got and after coupling, feel they've hit home plate, and don't pay attention to attrition.

Just keeping heads above water drains a lot of folk and taking care of themselves is NEVER a priority.

There is this sad practice that family comes before oneself. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't properly take care of ANYONE ELSE. You become unhappy and that saps your energy. And this becomes evident on your body and your face.

I've seen women who've done this to themselves. They're worn out in their thirties and all their energy goes to taking care of everyone else. So they "disappear." This is terrible, but happens every day to people you knew or know.

[RingOfFire]

Well put again and spot on. There is a good example of that going on with someone very close to me right at this moment.

[OfDeath]

That’s right. The transition from stunner to swamp donkey is tragic indeed.

[nastyb]

@Screenwriter

sweetie, life is not easy. I'm already 28 and I have two college degrees, worked 12 hour days in multiple fields, am still working hard towards multiple certifications. In a few years, I will be a mother birthing and raising 2 children. The "taking care of yourself" is only a luxury for the very few in today's modern society. Most of us are concerned about when and if we can retire, how are kids are struggling in school, finding stable employment, attending school while working full time.
For some moms, even getting a full night of sleep is a luxury.
This is not the 1990s where survival was easy. Its 2023.
And lastly, everyone will "disaoppear" eventually anyways. You may slow it down a few years but eventually the time will come QUICK. Most of aging has to do with genes.

[nastyb]

@Screenwriter

How much time do you really have to take care of yourself when you're working 40 hours a week and taking care of 2-3 kids at home? you'd be lucky if you get 1 hour to yourself.

[Screenwriter]

@nastyb This has nothing to do with what decade it is. This is a truism that persists throughout time. Sure genetics has an important part to play, but making your health a priority is important to your family: partner, children, etc. To set aside 3 hours per week to exercise aids your physical as well as your mental health.

No one's talking about you being a gym rat. Just basic care for yourself. A burnt out parent is barely useful. And I've been there when my child was young. So have my parents and theirs. Raising children is a job with a few pleasures thrown in. Once a month or so I get a manicure and pedicure. Every 6-8 weeks I get my hair done.

I attended school while my son was in grammar school and worked too and kept a home and fed my son, clothed him, helped with homework, went to PTA meetings et al. My son has ADHD diagnosed when he was 6.

Getting as much regular sleep as possible is a basic need. Again, you will burn out if you do not. These are not "luxuries" they are absolute needs. The hair and nails are luxuries. The exercise is not. You're got to burn off stress and calm yourself by burning off negative energy and getting endorphins flowing.

My mom biked to her school in the 196os, and walked to catch the bus to her work. My dad did the same, and worked in the yard and at maintaining our home by painting and repairing it. They went out together regularly enough to have a social life. Little of how they lived counted as luxuries, except our yearly two week vacations where we drove around the country as a family.

But that, too, was an important safety valve. I internalized how they lived as what is necessary to have a full and satisfying life, and I've tried to emulate it as much as possible, though my life is different.

[Screenwriter]

Not taking care of yourself and making excuses for why you don't is not the way. If you need a better job, the job market has a lot to choose from right now. If you don't have the skills, then seek to get them before the market narrows.

You want to live your best life and have your children SEE you doing so. To say how you look and age is "mostly" genetics is simplistic and fatalistic. I want to live as long and as well as I can because I enjoy my life and I've had some HARD, hard knocks. And I want to be around for my adult son and his possible children because I got that support from MY parents. And it was invaluable.

My parents were only able to do so much for me because they took such good care of themselves. And when my mom suffered an aneurysm in her mid 70s, my father, 4 years older, took care of her because he was so fit, for 6 years until she died.

My goal is to do as well as my dad and better than my mom. She lived to 78, not very well, he lived to 87, doing much better. Just because we all die is no reason to give up on yourself because of the regular stresses of raising children, getting jobs and stress. Good luck to you.

[nastyb]

@Screenwriter

Do you think getting a good job is easy nowadays? People need to get multiple degrees, work while attending school in order to acheive anything close to the American dream. When i was in school, i used to go on 2 to 3 hrs of sleep a night for years.

Many parents who stay awake all night with the crying baby then having to work a 8 to 10 hr shift the next morning

Taking care of one self does get pushed aside because there are bigger more important responsibilities in life

You can't have both.

[Screenwriter]

@nastyb You have to work and plan to have both. If I had 2 to 3 hours of sleep for years, I'd have a breakdown. I've never been able to do that. My son had colic, too. I took naps.

The MOST important thing you can do in life is take care of yourself. If you don't, you can't take care of anyone or anything else.

I realize a baby needs to be fed, diapered and comforted. Those are absolutes. But when my son constantly cried, I sought help through my parents, husband, child care. There was a point beyond which I couldn't handle that.

Take care of you because no one else can. And I didn't say getting a good job is easy. I've gone through three in the past two years. But I've found one I enjoy, yet I need another job.

I quit the second PT job I have because it was draining me. I was angry and felt put upon doing it. There wasn't enough money to keep me doing it. I'd paid off one debt, so I can live without it. I have to keep my sanity. I'm working on creating a position at a place where I volunteer. And I volunteer at several places. So maybe there are other possibilities for PT employment.

Be creative and put yourself first. Then you can be generous with everyone else.

[nastyb]

@Screenwriter

Who wouldn't want a full night of sleep or to go on vacation or stop working once you're tired?

but thats not an option.

Plenty of parents wake up at night to tend to their crying baby multiple times a night... then at 7 am , they have to rush to work the next morning. Many of these paernts are even single moms. if its not the mother taking care of the baby, who else would take care of the baby? I can't just leave the baby to someone else to take care of it. Or even if I wanted to, can I afford to hire a nanny every night?

Not all of us can afford to quit our jobs to become stay home moms. I'm planning on becoming a mom in a few years, I wouldn't have that option. After work, I just have to rush home to cook dinner , do laundry, housework, tutor my child, bathe and put the kid to sleep, make tommorow lunch boxes. Its just the cycle of life. I would be lucky if I even had the energy to wash my hair.

When I was in college, I worked 25 hours a week while juggling 5 courses. I slept on average of 2-3 hours on weekdays. I got more sleep on the weekends. But I've done this for many years. I slept that little because I had a very big load of work that needed to be completed well within a very short amount of time. There are deadlines that need to be met. Sure, its possible to do it very fast but I'm not a genius. I only can work with what I have, not something that I don't have.

Being a stay home mom is a luxury that many women can't afford nowadays. We need to pay for our children's college tuition, save for retirement.

[Puppystarfish23]

Thank you for saying this because when I say this I get a a lot of hate. I love my partner so much but I also love but he works so hard to give me and him a good life and he only wants the best for us.

I'm young and attractive why shouldn't I seek out a high value man I'm using my looks to good use.

The same people who call out attractive woman for dating successful men are same who'd call them out if they dated losers. women can't do right from wrong unfortunately.

What would be the point in a man working hard if no extra perks came along with it

[blueonblack22]

My issue is the gross hypocrisy of western women demanding “gender equality” but at the same time pretending this extreme privilege doesn’t exist.

Don’t get me wrong. Gold diggers would never exist if it wasn’t for pathetic men enabling them in the first place. OnlyFans is a million times worse. Men not only enable that crap but they get absolutely nothing tangible in return.

But this is the fault of men. Idiot men like you that enable this and openly support it. These beautiful women did absolutely nothing to earn their privilege besides just staying in shape (which anybody can do and should do). Good looking men know they can’t survive on looks alone. They might get a big head start but still they can’t be an inanimate object and expect to be taken care of.

I might have a different opinion on all of this if wasn’t for the incessant modern feminism bs going on in the west. Women really do have inherent unchecked privileges. Attractive western women are the most privilege category of people on the entire planet. Most of them have zero idea how their lives would really be if everything about them was exactly the same but they were born male instead. Things would not be easier for them.

[MaxUsefull]

It seems like you didn't understand what I wrote and I don't feel like explaining it to you.

[blueonblack22]

Beauty is a value that women did NOT earn. Other then staying in shape and eating healthy it is about 80% to 90% genetic.

Men on the other hand have to bust their ass and risk their necks to accomplish value well beyond just their appearances. We are constantly sticking our necks out in almost all aspects in life.

So what I am getting to is that women are often the crybabies of “social inequality” and yet the lucky attractive ones are VERY privileged JUST for existing. You can’t equate a woman’s luck to a man’s self made hard work when it comes to “value”.

You should KNOW THAT and I shouldn’t have to explain it to you. Of course nothing is going to change. But when feminists complain about “gender inequality” they conveniently ignore this huge privilege women have over men. That’s the main thing I’m pissed off about.

[dynamicyandere]

They don’t have to demand a rich man.


But, if they’re in the top 1% of looks, they will have more success attracting other people in the top 1% of [fill in the blank].


Perhaps that’s looks as well. Perhaps that’s wealth. Perhaps that’s something else — some other superficial category.


However…


If they want to attract someone in the top 1% of character, they also need to be in the top 1% of character.


Amazing future husbands are attracted to amazing future wives.


It takes a virtuous woman to attract a virtuous man — and vice versa.


Beauty and riches do not compensate for poor behavior, morals, ethics, or values.

[DextroShade]

Very true, she can be a 10 but if she's a whore none of the wealthy men will take her seriously.

[dynamicyandere]

@DextroShade True. If she wants to have a serious relationship, then she would need to be top 1% relationship-material. It takes much more than looks to be top 1% relationship-material.

On the flip side, if someone is top 1% relationship-material, they are also going to require more than wealth to marry someone. They would never settle for someone who is say rich but abusive.

[Anonymous]

Most poor men would not be with hot young women because they don’t feel up to the position.

men who call all women who want a man with a good career “gold diggers” are just men with no commonsense.

in general majority of women who want a man with a good paying job/career is only looking to what type of future they will be able to provide for their children.

having said this, there certainly ARE gold diggers, those are the type that don’t really want children and always have their hair, makeup and fake lips with fake nails on that just like to be shopping and going out, they don’t look to a man with a good paying job for what they can provide for their future children but rather to what type of life THEY will be living with you as the most important aspect.

those type of women are not the majority of us.

most of us just want a good life for our babies, and when I say what type of life they can provide for their children, by they I mean both together not just the man’s input.

men like to complain about women only wanting men with good paying jobs because they’re gold diggers, but regardless of the reason, the fact is that if YOU don’t have a good job, you don’t feel good about yourself and you yourself will put yourself OUT of persona’s life because you will see it as too much of a challenge and you will belittle yourself without anyone having to do it, because you will feel like a failure and cannot provide for a family, even if the woman wants ti be with you, you will prefer her go find someone else that can offer a better life.
so in the end it is YOU the man who puts your own self in that situation and then want to label instead every woman as a “gold digger” that didn’t “want you” because you didn’t have the “fat wallet”

[Anonymous]

Actually, I agree. Successful man has so many definitions but I do think attractive women should be with successful men. In my experience, a lot of men who aren’t motivated to be in life tend to be very insecure about their masculinity, and in return, insecure about their partner. They beat their partners down so that they don’t feel like they can do better.
I don’t think it’s all about gold digging, though. Being attractive gets you into many areas where you can meet successful men, and successful man doesn’t always mean millionaire. Successful man can mean one making 80-100k too, as long as he provides for his family. Truth is, a grown man who doesn’t have his shit together is ridiculous.

[Dargil]

I think that the best men for them is Ordinary looking men who are dedicated to and sufficient in their careers and personal lives. They are more likely to be faithful and not look for the next trophy. But gold diggers believe their looks entitle them to credit cards and Lexus'. The Ordinary Man will have to understand that a Gold Digger is a land mine and he will have to regulate himself and her diligently. He needs to protect himself financially (peel off an escape fund) and have a good Male favoring attorney on retainer. Something like 80% of divorces are filed by women. Her looks and sexuality must be worth the risks.

[Anonymous]

most are with young good looking guys so dont think they're wasting anything. there's only so few good looking successful guys that are young enough to still be fuckable to a 20something. most are old 50-60yos who are balding with dad bods who have passed their best before hotness date a long time ago. to me If your a hot 21 yo girl you're wasting your time being with a lecherous ugly old guy, should be with hot 21 yo boy. even if he's broke he levels better as a boyfriend for her. besides money isn't everything. its not good to be poor but there's nothing wrong with being middle class, like most people are

[Woodchuck411]

Evidently you have a lot to learn in life. Just because a person has money doesn't mean the woman loves you. If there's no love, what's the sense of being with it? Looking more than a pimp, what money or paying for the pussy. She would be your hoe

[MaxUsefull]

Did you read what I wrote “mister lived man”? I said that the woman needs to like the man, at least

[Alwayreckles93]

What are you jelous? At keast he can make decisions on his own he is a real men. Unlike you stupid 30 year olds still depending on mommy to makenyour choices. So dont get men woman my ageperfer a mature smart real men.

[Sasha0426]

@Alwayreckles93 If 30 year olds are stupid, does that mean you are too?

[Sasha0426]

@Alwayreckles93 And why would he be jealous that he’s not being used for his money? I don’t think you thought this through when you tried to insult him. If you want to insult someone, do it right where it makes sense.

[Alwayreckles93]

@Sasha0426 If I were stupid then why am I more successful out of all the people I had graduated. And I was referring to men. But honestly people my own who are in debt working minimum wage jobs its because theirbbrainless and Lazy. We all graduated at the same time we had the same 24 hours and same seven days a week. In my case I am doing well enough. I dated men my own age and they all put their useless mother first before me. I can't stand mommas boy. Admited it all guys our age are men childs.

[Sasha0426]

@Alwayreckles93 Guess I’m lazy because I work retail. But, to be fair, I want to do better by becoming a veterinarian. I mean…. literally everyone is trying to make money. Do you know why they’re in debt? Have you bothered asking?
Great for you that you followed your dreams but you don’t seem like a very nice person. Especially, when you put down guys who care about their mothers and calling their mothers useless. Unless there’s more to that story that I’m missing.

[Sasha0426]

@Alwayreckles93 You have so much pent up anger you would rather take it out on strangers you don’t know and assume the worst about them. Maybe try taking a breather and calm down.

[Alwayreckles93]

@Sasha0426 Well if a men our age wants to be serous in the relationship he needs to forget about his mother and put his attention on his girlfriend fiance. Sorry but when a guy puts his mommy first that means they aren't capable of marriage material husbands. Yes their in debts because they had made immature fiancial decisions. It took me 13 years to build my wealth. While some of you guys were turning 21 hitting the bars I was working non stop. While you guys people our age were out partying I was working. I've mist parties , funarals, a lot of family gatherings andI don't regret it. A lot of people in my high school that I had graduated with are now in debt do I regret my choice? Absolutely not!

[Sasha0426]

@Alwayreckles93 I’m curious, if a guy’s mother is in the hospital and she’s on her deathbed, would you dump him if he wanted to say his final goodbye to her?
Parties, yeah I can understand missing. But, I couldn’t miss funerals or family gatherings if my loved ones were involved.
That’s great you put a lot of work into where you are now. But, don’t purposely cut out your loved ones. Unless you have no connection with them whatsoever. Which I can understand.

[Sasha0426]

@Alwayreckles93 To be quite honest, you were unfair to the guy who posted this comment. You took your anger out on him because of your bad experiences.
I do agree with him. Just because someone has money does not mean they love you. And that’s exactly what a gold digger is. They’re only with you for the money, they want nothing serious.

[madhatters4]

yes i think you are wrong. this opinion is all to objective. relationships tend to me much more subjective and rely heavily on our 'feelings'.

everyone should want to be with a partner that is "successful" in whatever they are doing. it shouldn't matter about one partner's physical appearance when it comes to this.

[Dinklex3]

I don’t think they’re a considered a “gold digger” if they really like the man.

I believe that no one should ever settle. I don’t really care if strangers date someone who is poor. And I don’t think poor=garbage either.

[dynamicyandere]

True. A “gold digger” implies that they are ONLY with them for their money. Whereas, if they truly love and care about them, it’s no longer gold digging. It’s just a girl that prefers to be with someone who has their sh*t together and is financially stable and able to provide abundantly.

[Anonymous]

In those relationships you reference, there is generally give and give. I think the gold digging implies that the woman is there...for the money...and generally the guy is there for the arm candy/sex. In true relationships where there is love/like, if the guy goes broke or becomes less rich, the woman doesn't leave, and in the reverse, if the woman ages or something happens to alter her physical beauty, the guy wouldn't leave.

[Anonymous]

Hypergamy is not the same as gold digging. Gold diggers will never care about the men they use for money. They just see the guy as an ATM. Hypergamy is strategic but she still has feelings for the man.

But if you want a gold digger be my guest.

[ShadezMcgee]

Gold diggers are never into the man who wants something with her or a relationship. They are essentially a personal escort until the man dies, gets sick of her or she divorces him for the money.

[nastyb]

I think you would only say that if youve never been in love. Being in love is an amazing feeling, it transcends any sort of beauty or money. Its a feeling you hope never goes away once you get to experience it

[HighValue]

People that only use money as a measure of being "successful" don't know much about life. And people that only choose a mate based on looks will eventually be disappointed.

[FreyaRed]

Rich guys get what they attract too. Money and social status isn't a proper currency for honest intimacy, that's why rich people are much happier when they match other rich people.

[leftAndRiqht]

If a woman is beautiful, being beautiful for herself makes her happy. You know women, they always say, I dress and put on make-up for myself. This is true. If she wants to turn her beauty into money, she can. Why not? There is a lot of talent to monetize. Beauty is just one of them

[MzAsh]

Well, the point of being a gold digger is that they’re into the money… not the guy.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, exactly. A gold digger is manipulative and deceptive. But, if they honestly love the guy, it’s no longer gold digging.

Like a player isn’t really a player if he’s exclusive, monogamous, and truly loves the girl that he’s with. He’s not ‘playing’ her if he honestly loves her and is loyal to her.

[MzAsh]

Exactly. Sometimes I think these guys that advocate for gold diggers like the idea of the only thing that qualifies them is money.

[MikeTheBartender]

I agree, but a lot of women are happy with losers. It's an emotional thing, not a status thing.

[Joshydavid25]

Her value is what she values.. Maybe she values a loyal, hard working man with morals and principles... And maybe kind of handsome as well.. Doesn't have to be rich.. You never know..

[Paul09]

Once you are called a gold digger, you lose all value. Gold diggers only want your money and nothing else. Beauty isn't everything. Personality and beauty need to go together. They need to bring way more to the table than looks.

[Hannajenky]

I’m not sure anyone is entitled to anything, but anyone can work towards their goals

[andreasderjuengere]

I (personally) believe that these women have a right to decide on their own :)

[MaxUsefull]

no one is saying otherwise.. old pal

[andreasderjuengere]

sure... youngster :D