Why shouldn't a heterosexual ugly guy avoid dating?

[Anonymous]

As looks is more important to people than "personality " ?

[Anonymous]

I've thought I was ugly my entire life until I worked on myself to the point of getting even the attention of a female sports professional. I would recommend following what I did; yes it's a slow and gruelling process, but it can work:

1) Become lean through regular gym exercises

2) Maintain good oral, body and facial hygiene

3) Possess an upstanding personality that suggests respectability

4) Improve posture and walking posture to emit confidence

5) Remain respectful around women and understand your level, do not cold approach.

6) Find a location where people gather for a shared interest, and become known

7) Let things progress naturally by looking out for overt signs of interest from equals.

Perhaps I was given desirable features that I neglected until now; but haven't we all? On the surface, everyone is a rock; it's revealing the gems inside that matters. Even if there are few, with enough polish they can shine just as bright for the right person.

[Rorroto]

I had a manager while working at WalMart who was very obese, and who'd always been so. He had an extremely good-looking wife. As a Wal-Mart manager he couldn't have made a massive amount of money. Also, a lot of people there considered him to kind of be an ass, so I don't think he had that great of a personality. He did, however, focus a lot of attention on his hair and I think, aside from his weight, he tried to look nice... so I think what is meant by "ugly" is important here. He was far from attractive, but he improved what he had a lot, and I think women might like that effort.

Regarding why a heterosexual ugly guy shouldn't avoid dating... that's going to depend on how much you want to date. I think as a society it'd be best to cease thinking of relationships as something everyone will inevitably get, or that everyone inevitably deserves. I think settling is inevitable to some degree, whether we settle for people with fewer ideal traits than we'd like, or setting for not dating at all.

I say this, however, as someone on the extreme end of the aromantic spectrum who has no desire for love due to how my brain works. For people who really want relationships and love, or who really would find sex fun, this may not apply nearly so well.

[4ngelic]

he can but he probably will live an even sadder alone life. probably looks dont matter as much to his equals if he's fine with dating other unattractive people which is typically what happens, or he can start trying to looksmaxx and stuff so he has better options and has an easier time getting girls. most ugly dudes are ugly anyways cos they're fat or they're technically average looking or even cute sometimes but skin conditions and stuff/bad grooming/bad hygiene/bad haircuts/being underweight/geeky style etc make them look like shit

[Billlewis]

Oh my goodness... I just started following you, and I'd be honored if you'd like to follow me, as well, Goddess. Thank you very much.

[jennifer_bloom]

I believe dates are about finding a match, not necessarily about a physical ideal. If you Google celebrities in the media, you can see that many rich celebrities left very good looking people to form long term relationships with less attractive people. Attraction is too complicated to be reduced to one or two variables alone.

[Avicenna]

Because he can still get a girlfriend, that's why

[Asker]

I higly doubt it. Even if he can the relationship is very unlikely to be functional.

[DermalPunch]

I don't know who burned you but we all go through it.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you don't care, it doesn't matter to me.

P. S. To most ladies, an "I quit" attitude is uglier than your face, I'm sure.

[HiveBee]

It's worse than that. Female attraction is unquantifiable. You will NEVER know how to make yourself attractive to women because the truth is that female attraction is impossible to describe.

It's not about looks bro. It's not about money. Power. Or any other specific quantity.

No, women are looking for as much as possible across a wide variety of domains.

From social power, monetary power, looks, maturity, self esteem, confidence, and so on andnso on for an endless list of things.

You are wrong to say ugly guys should give up.

But you may be correct that a good portion of men should give up. It's just you can't quantify exactly why they should give up becasue you can't know what it is that that man lacks that makes him not attractive to women.

It could be lack of looks or lack of money or lack of confidence or 1000 other things.

[trellbrown84]

An ugly normal man shouldn't even try, but should just give up.

Take me for example. Average guy, skin the color of a tar baby, ears that are too big, an ugly wide noise, physically, socially and economically unattractive and usually the whipping post and target for society and women to shit upon.

I have been picked on and bullied my entire life. I have been assaulted for no reason. I have had rude comments thrown at me while walking in a store.

People make me feel like a monster. The majority of woman and girls here make me feel like I'm a monster.

I'm just done with it all. I've already made my decision to take my own life by my hand on my 40th birthday

Why should I continue to live if everyone says I'm damaged and im and unwanted?

All i wanted was to be loved, not be forced outside, shunned, and forced to watch as family members create their own families. I guess I ain't attractive enough to deserve that either huh?

[Rorroto]

Okay. If you want to end your life by your 40th birthday, that's your business. That said, what you want is more than just being loved, I think. You can be loved without being in a romantic relationship. Lots of guys have friends they love and for guys physical appearance is not an issue. Also, given that you have family members... are you not loved by any of them? If you are, I suspect a lot of people would feel quite sad if you ended your life.

For the record, I think ending one's own life is a very brave thing to do. That goes against our instincts and I don't think living is inherently the best path for us all.

I would say, we all deserve utupia... including Hitler. It's not about what we deserve though. It's about being wanted romantically. If nobody wants to date someone because of how they look or their personality or whatever... that's just the way things go.

I will say that I think society might spread the view too much that people are less of men if they don't end up in a relationship, or that true love is everyone's destiny, when it's not. I think what might be better would be to romanticize that stuff less. If, from a young age, we're viewing relationships as the be-all, end-all of everything, and we eventually find out we might not get one, that's probably going to be a lot more difficult of a thing of a thing to accept than if we held more realistic outlooks.

[trellbrown84]

family tolerates me to an extent. they say the "love" me, but I've been disappointed and lied to so much amd made a fool of, that I find it hard to believe

[trellbrown84]

Friends, I have none. i was usually tolerated but always ended up the tenth wheel. I was never really invited anywhere

[trellbrown84]

Im just jaded and disillusioned. everything I've ever been taught or told is a complete lie

[Rorroto]

I think a lot of what we learn in youth about the way the world is supposed to work is B. S. It's more uphill battle for everyone, without the gaurantee that we'll actually make it up the hill, and less "everyone is destined to get married and have kids and have a wide social circle."

I'm still working out how to build the sort of social circle I'd like. The best decisions I've had have usually involved actually ignoring social norms for greed-based reasons. At 37, for example, I've attended a community college almost strictly just to join the social groups. It's weird that I'm so old, but my age has meant I've had more time to develop a good sense of humor, and unlike all of the young horny men at the college, I don't flirt with the girls at all because they probably wouldn't want to date me anyway, and so both the girls and boys like me a lot. They're nothing more than my acquaintances, because of the age gap, but it's felt good for me to genuinely be doing things regularly with people who like me, and I have made a friend with 23 year old girl who invited me to her birthday party last summer.

The only person I know whose social life seems really successful is my uncle. He spends time with a lot of older people who like hunting and fishing and construction. He gives them a strong back. They give him advice. They find each other useful, and so he's quite popular.

I think we should be finding skills we have that make ourselves useful to others, and that's how we become popular.

[Rorroto]

On a side note... I think I'm one of the best damn philosophers the world has ever seen, and you definitely seem to not have a problem with controversial statements. I'm trying to find people who like controversial discussions, especially those who are not the sorts of youngsters that swarm the internet, because I don't want to inadvertently traumatize them or weird out their parents. Would you like to engage in controversial and competitive moral philosophy-based discussions by any chance?

[trellbrown84]

Im up for it. Im not one those woke black people who make everything about race

[Somoneelse]

I have a feeling you believe yourself to be ugly and try to self-sabotage yourself. Am I right? The more you believe yourself to be ugly, the more negative vibes you radiate around you. And people avoid that negative vibe, not your looks.

Anyway, I believe a great personality is hundred times more important than looks. I rather have a "ugly' girl with an amazing soul/personality than a "beautiful" girl with a rotten soul/personality.

[Unit1]

Well fix your ugly then.

Maintain your hair and get a hairstyle

Get better clothes than the junk they sell like monotonous plain tshirt and jeans

Get in shape and work out if you are overweight

Get braces for your teeth if you need

And don't shun away from the girly stuff to look not ugly. It doesn't make you gay.

[rachel776b]

even though you keep asking this same question, i will tell you again, personality is more important. you can win over any girl with the right personality

[ChiTown33]

Don't feed him that nonsense.🤣 Personality is important. You can win over the RIGHT girl with a good personality, but not ANY girl.🤣 I know women like to "believe" this.
He needs have confidence because he's a man! And no MAN relies on a woman to tell him his worth.

[RedInnocent68]

Is it really, though? Maybe just layoff breeding. JK! Look, we’re social animals. We need each other. Even if we’re not constantly fucking each other like bonobos.

[normalice]

No one is telling anyone they can't avoid dating.

[FunkyMonkee]

Well, you don't want him getting involved with some girl and the two of them frumping up another batch of ugly kids, do ya?

[DextroShade]

A man can be ugly and get laid because he can make up for it in other ways such as money, status, and charisma.

[Anonymous]

Ugly guys with great personalities are hitting all kinds of pussy walls.

[HiveBee]

Them sweet sugar walls!

[Opinion Owner]

@HiveBee 🍫🍬🍭🍯💦

[sheikalana]

Because there's someone out there waiting for him.

[MyOwnMan2]

there's no balance in the relationship. A woman possesses her partner. An ugly guy has no leverage of his own. Can't even fuck right.

[HelpfulWoman]

If he has to ask, he's not mentally stable for dating anyway so 🤷

[Staximus]

Because dating is realistic and less disappointing if you stay in your league

[2willi]

it sounds you need to look for some self esteem if this is what your mindset is

[Nikki1989]

We don't care what you do.

[RavVid]

Apparently 50% of men are I heard last night.

[LiamJHayden]

Your premise is wrong.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Loaded question

[Jmmmfi4]

I DO AVOID IT