I can cook, but my wife will be the cook when we get married. Whenever she's ill/tired or something comes up, I'll take up cooking and sometimes cook willingly.
My future partner can and will make her own money, but I will be the head of the home and will always pay unless she makes me not to.
I am a gentleman and she will be my lady. I think men who always split the bill are chickens. If you want to eat and pay for just yourself, go alone, date yourself and eat alone. Paying for the date doesn't mean you're doing her a favor, you're the man.
My wife will cook, not because she's a slave but because that's one of the many things a woman is good at naturally, just as men are providers. I will help out when there's need for help and so will she help me financially when there's need for help.
A woman wants a capable man deep down. A man who would love her, take care of her and spoil her. A man wants a submissive wife deep down, a woman who would love him and respect him.
I am not going to be a man who wants to be splitting bills 50/50 with women. And I'm not going to get married to a woman who thinks cooking for her family is oppression.
Did your mum cook all the meals in your house? In mine it's 50/50 (or 60/40, my dad cooks more often since he has more time at home), so I grew up seeing cooking as a shared chore. Why should the woman have to cook every time?
"If you want to eat and pay for just yourself, go alone, date yourself and eat alone."
But if a woman wants to eat, she dates a man and gets paid for her meal.
@wiltingrosepetal it was the same for me growing up, my dad did most of the cooking because of their work schedules.
Also (for the original comment) women are not naturally good cooks, if that is what you’ve experienced you’re lucky but it is a skill that both men and women have to build. As far as the dating portion goes I agree with most of what you said but not all of it
Traditionally, women are supposed to follow the man’s lead regardless of what they think or want. You want a man to pay for the first date, if that goes forward, you are to follow him.
We also have the wrong idea of a date. A date has been hyped up to be going to a meal and what not. And in this materially over saturated society, the meal has to be expensive to be able to “impress” the female in order to show her he can “take care of her.” A date isn’t supposed to show her he can take care of her, a date is strictly so the two can get to know each other. As the relationships grow, that’s when you make a determination of if you want to be a gold digger and have a man support a lifestyle you want. However, I’m all for free or cheat first dates.
I think my first ever first date was to a mall food court. Cost me $20 for us. We sat and talked it was good. But I encourage men, don’t spend more than a cup of water or coffee on a first date.. you will lose a lot of “attractive” women who want a free meal.. meaning you will weed out all the blood sucking vampires in society that believe in the feminist boss babe bullshit or onlyfans porn stars. They are red flags and not good for society as a whole. It’s worked wonders in my life!
In Islam men must pay, provide for the family, wife kids,... And men must help their wives in house chores and cooking.. but unfortunately most Muslim men are willing to provide but don't want to help their wives in cooking and cleaning.
Most men in my family do provide and help including my father, nor a women I served an internship with.
However in social media I see the exact opposite, both genders always fighting over this topic, -You must help us! -No I don't want to and I'm not obliged to, and bla bla bla.
Cooking and cleaning doesn't take anything away from the man, it makes you more caring and loving, it makes you heathier, and confident, only insecure ones wanna show their masculinity by not helping.
The prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, used to help his wives, one night he stayed awake fixing his wife's broken bracket (because it was her favorite..) if he wanted something he used to do it by himself,.. and so much more, but men LOOOVE to turn a blind eye on this.
(Again that's not based on my experience, but on what I've observed in social media).
girl, it is not about masculinity it is about sense of fairness, ifi'm providing i'm not helping i already done my part of the deal, the rest doesn't interest me type of thing, also doing your own job is athing but doing someone elses feelslike slavery and not many guys if they are not the new type of softies can stomach it, there are days when my mother gets sick i do the house chores and let me tell you, it feelsso bad that if my mother won't be healed in a week i would seriously go find a maid or something, cooking is another thing but when it comes to cleaning jobs i'm off the deal, i can cook but that's it, also i once or twice cooked for girls before let me tell you this, it didn't made me feels slightest bit of good when i saw them eating and liking it, i was like '' oh i would be happy too if i was the one who got a free meal with no effort'' or '' this better leads to bed tonight or else the next thing i will cook will be you'' (i was only half-serious about it though) so no, helping doesn't make me feels healthier, more loving or confident, it makes me feel like i waste too much time and energy for nothing, i could have been doing something i actually wanted to do at the time i waste to feed someone other than me.
oh but let me be honest here i don't want to provide either, i would if i had to but not a day being actually willing, i guess i'm just a lazy sack of shit but hey, no one is perfect like Muhammed, i'm a mere man who is happy with his flaws.
You said it. One night he stayed awake fixing... I can do that for my wife of course and you're also right on the man cleaning too. But he can't be doing all. That's why gender roles exist... It's what they are good at naturally, respectively.
And I can't be entering the kitchen everyday with my wife same way she can't be fixing the light or the leaky pipes or protecting the family like I will do. I will enter the kitchen, yes, will clean the house, yes, she will protect the kids, yes, she will fix things when I'm not there, yes.
There should be a balance.
@aceleon You are supposed to do stuff because you love people not because you get something out of it. I think guys like you will have a hard time finding a long term relationship when you all are so selfish. This generation is so messed up.
@PeachyPie93 what you don't get here girly, my love for peoples doesn't make the act of doing something i don't want to do less stinging, it ticks me off in the wrong way and for a fact:
1- never claimed i wasn't selfish, if anything selfishness is my key personality trait, it is my second nature and i have no problem with it, this who i am and i'm proud of that with my goods and my flaws.
2- i never claimed i was having any interest in long term thing, infact i made it crystal clear time from time in this platform that i had absolutly no intention for anything long term and admitted several times that i was never the guy for it and neither i wanted to be, even if we asume that i believe in love or such thing, that i'm still capable of it (since my first and last time feeling anything other then friendship or lust for a girl was when i was at my 1st year of elementary school merely a 7 year old if not younger) it still wouldn't make me a less selfish person, more sneaky maybe but not any less selfish, nor it would make me want anything long term with the person i ''love'' even if we put my absolute disgust towards any responsibilityand loath for any expectations towards me aside one of my few beliefs stands, time is the killer of anything good, it is a poison and love is not immune to it even if it exists''
@aceleon LOL girly. Well I am just saying it isn't good. I suppose if that is how you want to live that is how you shall stay.
@PeachyPie93 thanks.
No, more often than not a tradition means "because we've always done it that way" or because of peer pressure from dead people. I've never been slave to traditions.
These days it's whatever two people work out, and if they're old enough to date they're mature enough to have the discussion. I've always worked out the pay arrangement beforehand. I've been ok with letting the guys pay for a meal because they insisted, but I also went for the less expensive menu items when they did. We've alternated, split checks, played rock paper scissors, etc. Not every situation is the same.
As far as cooking goes, I did most all of the cooking and didn't mind it until I got my husband a grill for his birthday. Now he likes to grill even in cold weather, so the division of cooking chores isn't quite as one-sided as it once was. Same goes for other housekeeping chores, it pretty well evens out.
@SaoirseS Tradition is only sustained because there is a underlining set of reasoning behind it that makes it advantageous for all parties involved, even if it doesn't makes sense why.
The fact that more often than not you can't see that reasoning does not mean it does not exist nor that you and your family won't suffer from your arrogant choice to abandon it out of the presumption it was sustained for thousands of year for bad or no longer relevant reasons.
The truth is the people who agree with you ARE not having and sustaining families and as such dying and will not continue on this earth in their new tradition that has abandon this one. While the people who stick to the original tradition are still sustaining families.
Obviously there is some critical function to theses tradition that you missed, and its neglect has may be part of the cause of these catastrophic consequences many if not most of the families that abandoned it.
Don't think your wiser than history, your not.
Opinion
46Opinion
I put no to both because neither person should be obligated to do anything that they don’t want to do. However, I do feel that men should always offer to pay for the first date, whether he pays or they split it from there is on them. To me that shows that the guy is interested and wants to provide whether he gets something in return or not. Obviously anyone who takes advantage of this would be in the wrong. As far as cooking goes my boyfriend is a better cook than I am. I’ll happily cook but my food is average, where when he cooks it’s almost always amazing and I will happily do the dishes lol. It is a win-win for everyone involved
u For most of the women I have dated, I earn more than them, I can afford to pay for dates, I ask for the dates, and I don't mind paying. For my generation, that is never a question.
I think everyone should know how to cook, but when it is time to allocate household chores, it is easier for women to cook than it is for them to do the plumbing repairs and take the garbage can out to the curb.
I think people should find what makes THEM happy. Nobody is entitled. But people are free to find who makes them happy.
Either both do or neither does. Men should not be expected to provision if women are not holding up their end of the bargain. This I think most women will agree to but when push comes to shove there are laws in place to make sure men do their bit.
When the Russo-Ukrainian War broke out, women and children were free to leave but military aged men (18-60) were prevented and forcibly drafted into the territorial army or self defence forces to fight for a government where men and women vote for. I see no feminist movement demanding women be included in the fighting.
I answer the way I did in a general sense. If it's a date, man pays if he asked her out. If she asked him out she can pay her half and if she wants to she can pay his. I don't get asked out. I'm a little intimidating because I seem to be apart from society even when I'm surrounded by it. As for cooking, I have my few dishes that I excel at and I like to cook them for my lady. I'm 55-years old and raised to be the man of the house. I'm cool with modern women as long as they don't try to get with me. I'll do laundry and dishes with my lady but I won't do them instead of her. I don't need her to work unless she needs things that I don't think belong in our life. In this case, she can get a job and buy what she wants until her things push me out of the house. This is why I don't pursue women.
Traditions are fine, they set a tone for future generations, but it don't matter to me who pays who cook what matters is mutual attraction and we get along good and see a promising future together, I'm not set in traditional ways, open to changes and times and women have changed, their more independent and know what they want and I'm open to what works for both of us, it's not your role is this and vice versa, I'll pay when on a date or cook for both of us, and if she feels she want to do both I'm good with that, we have to work together to make it better in a relationship it's not my way or else, it's coming to an understanding together!
Men should pay but I am old fashioned in that way.
That's because, if I can't afford to pay, then I am not worthy to date.
However, I guess in modern times (and I have no problem with this), the person doing the asking for the date is the person that pays for the date.
As for cooking, that's up to the couple and each couple is different.
Generally, my wife cooks because she's a better cook that me, she has a real natural talent for it, and she likes it. My payment for her doing the cooking is that I do the dishes. However, sometimes, I cook for her. I make something we call a "love chicken" which is a flavorful roast chicken with crispy tasty skin because I know she likes that. She made her first love chicken this past week, but I've been making love chickens for her since she moved in with me the day after Thanksgiving 1999.
I also wanted to add that, when it comes to going out to dinner (or occasionally a movie), I USUALLY pay, but, if I am tight with $ and my wife is flush, she pays. This is because I take home more $ than she does, but she's paying for our benefits; my job has no benefits. So, since she's paying for my health care and life insurance, etc, I pay for a lot of other things like groceries and household supplies.
Men don't need to pay for dates if those men are already paying for the food at home for the woman to cook it.
If the man is the complete financial provider, the woman needs to wash clothes without a washing machine, dry them on a clothesline and then iron them, clean the house without a vacuum, and be provided no car, no smartphone, no internet, no air conditioning, etc. just like it was when men had to provide everything.
If a woman wants a man to be traditional in that way, then she needs to be too, including doing without all the things that they didn't have back when those expectations were on men.
But, from what I have seen, most women expect a lot from a man, while contributing almost no value at all herself.
I don’t think women should cook just because their women, cooking’s a skill; realistically both men and women should know how to cook but if one partners the better cook be it the man or a woman and they enjoy cooking for others power to them. I have a lot of uncles that are great cooks in my family.
I do believe men should pay for dates tho but that’s just my personal opinion and values
Men should pay for the dates and what should women do?
Should women do the cleaning?
I support individuality.
If she likes to cook, she should have an opportunity to what she likes. If she doesn't, forcing her doesn't make any sense.
I will keep my opinion about paying for dates - everyone pays for themselves.
Well said.
Where's the benefit to the guy? Go look at the top chefs in the world; 99% off them are men... As a woman you want a guy to drop several hundred dollars on a date night and in trade you want to spend 15 minutes of your time making mediocre food that the guy you are dating could probably make better in less time.
I think peope should do what makes them happy. Personally, I am more traditional and I don't respect women who can't or won't cook. I would stay single before marrying a woman who can't or won't cook. It's not that I need someone to cook for me. I am a good cook myself and cook better than the vast vajority of women my age. But cooking for her family is an imortant way in which women show their love, and I want a woman who WANTS to do that. But that's just me.
Well said
I think men should still pay for dates. But I think I cook better than most women I know. And unless she can prove she's a better cook than me I'd rather do the cooking.
I think EVERYONE should play to their strengths. I wouldn't be against a woman paying provided she made vastly more than me. But I make a lot so if she made a lot more than me neither of us would be cooking unless we really wanted to. Again though she's going to have to be better than me though. We could cook together.
If she earned more than you, who woupd pay for dates then?
Does it really matter? I don't care, I'll pay. I'm just saying she can afford it at that point.😆 I can tell you one thing. I have a good amount of money because I'm pretty thrifty. So I hope she likes McDonald's🙃🤣🤣🤣
If the woman is traditional then she deserves traditional treatment.
If she is a western, feminist boss babe who worships her job, needs no man, sleeps around, sexually liberated, dressing in half naked outfits, demanding freedom and drunk girls nights, wild girl trips, will not take her husband's last name, won't cook... etc.
She doesn't get traditiobal treatment.
If she sleeps around then she needs men lol
😄...
No for both. If I ask out a girl on a date, I'll pick up the check, however if she offers to pay, or split the check, I won't argue about it. I love to cook and I'm quite good at it so I'd most likely do the cooking.
No for both. Gender roles should be equal. Whoever asks the other one out should pay on the first date, but once you’re official you can split it. Whoever likes cooking better and is a better cook can do the cooking (or split it if you both like it), except that if one person gets tired sometimes the other person should take over.
If you want to be traditional, yes. He spends, you make sure everything in the house is spotless.
I cook because I want to cook for him, it's a way for me to show affection, not because I want to be traditional. He pays because he wants to and hopefully not because he feels like he Has to.
There is no "should." There is only what free people decide to do with their own life.
Why does everyone need to force prescribe every action?
THANK YOU oh my god
Should is not must
I support traditional values. I believe man should pay for the dates. To show the woman he can be a provider to the family.
And also if the woman likes to cook for his man is good. Sometimes food is a way to show love. If she doesn’t like to cook, then he can cook or they can just ask for delivery.
So a man must pay
A woman should cook if she wants
m How about arriving in the 21st century after all? I won’t stop my cooking, because I like to eat well. At the same time I appreciate women earning their own money and inviting me, for a change.
Not me.
Modern survival has different challenges and different ways to deal with them. I'd argue in ancient times we could do better without necessarily turning to these traditions.
In terms of practicality these traditions (1) are not feasible (unless the guy is rich) and (2) makes men look like they are the type of fools, that carelessly spends his money on women, who very likely have no intention of seeing him again (foodie calls).
No for both. Forcing some stupid gender roles just because it has been like that in the past is not a good enough reason to continue doing something.
Read this with an open mind @lilBigPotato.
You're against gender roles? Split everything 50/50 then. Whenever it's your future husband's turn to cook, go fix the car, or better still fix the leaky pipe.
Gender roles are not stupid.
They are there for a reason... The reason why there are more men in engineering/construction than women and more women in Healthcare/culinary-related stuff than men.
It's not that women can't be engineers or men can't be nurses or chefs. It's just the way nature is. A man should lift a couch for his woman to clean under it. The man is stronger in that regard and should work where his strength lies most of the time, same for word women.
You yourself will be pissed when you have a man who wants 50/50 and you'd also be jealous when your friends have partners who are more masculine and working where their strengths lie.
Men and women can't do without each other. None is more important. We all have roles to play. We are different for a reason. We are not the same.
@Jamesier you didn't get my comment. My point is that someone should do something because they want to do it, not because they are forced because of gender roles. Paying for a date or cooking has absolutely nothing to do with your gender. If someone wants to cook or pay for a date then that's perfectly fine and they should do it, but it doesn't matter if it's a guy or girl.
It has absolutely nothing to do with forcing everything to be 50/50 split. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean that you're strong or have high income and being a women doesn't mean that you are a good cook or are too weak to carry anything.
No, a man being an engineer instead of a woman has absolutely nothing to do with "that's how nature is" because most engineers don't do heavy physical work. If you don't allow woman to work for hundreds of years, burn them for stupid reasons, don't allow them to participate in politics or even drive a fucking car and raise them with the mind to just be there to raise children, yes of course we end up in the current situation. That it doesn't have to be kind this is shown by many other countries. Compare for example Japan with some Scandinavian countries and you can easily tell that it's 90% about education/society and less about your ability as a man or woman.
So can we just stop trying to push people into some stupid roles just because of their gender? Live your own life and not the one other people think you should live.
And no that obviously doesn't mean that everyone should be a dickhead to other people and do whatever they please
Normally men would foot the bill and I like to do that too. But a lot of people like to go Dutch. I do all my own cooking normally anyway, but some guys won't cook. Some women don't like to cook either. It can get dicey working this stuff out. Traditions have a shelf life. They don't last forever, even if they have merit.
I think men should always pay for dates and that they should also be responsible for all or substantially all of the household chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry and etc. This is my opinion only.
Times have changed. It is no longer the 60's. Now women have to work too to be able to pay the bills.
Men saying all this traditional garbage should crawl back into the cave where they came from.
I'm traditional when it comes to sex but I oppose any traditional roles that pressure men and limit women's independency
I support this, but im also a pretty damn good cook. I only cook for women that I am serious about though. So if I am cooking for a check it means we are getting pretty serious
"traditionally" sure..
It's about to be 2024 though soo it should depend on the couple and a couple should communicate things.
I live with my now ex and our thing was if I cooked, she'll clean and vice versa. We split the chores and bills.
A lot of husbands and boyfriends cook. But l agree men should pay for the date. It is a red flag if the man tries going dutch on a date. Now, if a guy and girl have been out more than once, if she offers to pay, don’t insult her gesture by declining.
My husband & I have done both. I’ve cooked. I’ve paid. He’s cooked. He’s paid.
women should cook obviously... and men should pay for dates... i know there's all this m odern things going on but in this world we need our traditions.
Both partners should give 100% of their capabilities.
I’m a better cook than most women I know so cooking isn’t gender based. But if I work all day and come home tired and the woman has had a shorter day, common sense should prevail.
I don't really care either way for small expenses like that. I'd think both parties should make good faith efforts to make good food. I've had girls offer to pay for dates as well. They liked the back and forth.
I did all the cooking and cleaning for women once, and the money we shared with me paid a little more. We were both students. It doesn't work. They always go for guys who will pay for expensive stuff, have cars/properties, and can take them to expensive restaurants than a guy who will cook. None of those guys can or will cook for them. Girls don't respect the guys who cook for them. As a guy, it's better to work on your finances and fulfill traditional roles.
Traditionally? That means it’s likely archaic and outdated. No, I don’t follow those oppressive practices.
we both like to cook. I'm sure I paid for the first few dates and then when we realized it was long-term, we pooled resources.
That's what we've been doing. I cook six days a week and on saturdays we go out to eat and he pays for it.
Support yes, but optionally. Depends on the couple and what their ambitions / finances are.
If that's the dynamic they both want, sure. But that shouldn't be a default
I think every relationship is a little different. It is up to you two to figure out how you are going to do things.
More information needed, specifically how far along they are in a relationship, and if they're cohabitating.
Any general idea based on gender is ridiculous. Even if more women tend to stay and cook, that’s societial pressure and upbringing.
Some women are very lazy
I have always paid for dates and always will. It’s up to the woman if she wants to cook, but when we are at my house I do most of the cooking on the BBQ or Smoker.
An even older tradition makes dating unnecessary, and cooking is done by the servants.
No to either, I no longer date, and I've done my own cooking since my teens.
I'm all for a traditional woman but I like to cook as a hobby 🙃
1. The asker should at least offer to pay.
2. I'm a good cook, usually better than the women I've dated.
I find it rare that a modern woman is able to cook better than me.
Is your tiktok username "Manslut"?
You followed me there
I paid for every date but she did cook for me. Except when it came to bbq or camping. Then I do the cooking.
It's just a matter of both giving stuff. If one does something, the other has to do do something in return.
No unless you have kids and the woman is a housewife…
I support it only if the woman expects a traditional man.
I rather not cook on a date. I will happily pay.
I like doing 50/50 on everything
I believe in tradition.
Nah. I’d rather pay and he cook.
no. it should be an equal effort
m do they support mummification as well?
Women don't cook. Men ALWAYS pay for dates.
Nope let's reverse the game...
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