I am almost 20 and never had a real boyfriend, am I just unattractive?

[Anonymous]

I’m able to talk to men and I’m not often shy but I also have never been approached in general I don’t try too hard with my appearance and sometimes I just look very causal because it’s comfortable to me no makeup, baggy clothes, etc. Online though I present myself more girly and cutesy and I have had men call me pretty, beautiful, fine online and we talk normally but usually never get asked out because either they live super far or just want friends with benefits but in real life I never get the time of day from men usually only at work and that’s just being friendly not romantic. I will say I have a resting face and such but I just think I’m not that good looking to begin with and I can’t attract a guy to become my boyfriend 🥺 any tips? Advice?

[Flatmanlewis]

Okay. First of all 20 is very young and a LOT of early 20yr old men are chasing women but not looking to settle into a relationship. If you aren’t coming off as a wild party girl that may be a very good thing. Now, you just have to interact with more men and make yourself approachable.


If you value comfort over looks that’s your choice but, as a man who once met a lot of girls as a single man, we recognize a few things. A straight faced (you say RBF) girl in baggy clothes not making eye contact or smiling has her ‘leave me alone’ light on. So, we do.


Wear some fitted and/or more feminine clothing. Shift some of your wardrobe to be more attractive than comfortable (although some of the clothes my wife says are her most comfortable are very attractive to me, so they are not mutually exclusive!) Be aware your stern facial expression is deterring some male attention and just throw a smile at a man who you are interested in.


Understand that many men have a type so, it’s a numbers game at some point. No matter how pretty some girl may have been, I was always interested in my own type and tended to not stray from that much. Factor than into things so you don’t smile and not get the reaction you hope for and then curl into a place of mental sadness over the false perception that something is wrong with you. It’s not. I’m sure you are a wonderful catch.

[Monalisa77]

I wear normal clothes, no make up and its onky recently where I've got some attention. Its about the apakr you have with someones rela personality not how they look

[Monalisa77]

Sorry for the typos, im v tired lol

[Flatmanlewis]

I 100% agree that personality is the single most important factor but one cannot outright dismiss the attraction factor. A woman/man can be the sweetest, most loving, and caring person you’ve ever met but if someone doesn’t find them at least attractive enough to want to be with them they most likely (probably high 90%) not even engage in the conversation that leads to discovering those qualities. Not saying it’s right or wrong, but it is.

[Monalisa77]

But attraction can come in all forms, i dont think im the prettiest but i do believe there might b some men who will b attracted to me depending on circumstances

[Monalisa77]

I know my brother said dating apps r mostly about sex, vut vi d3thinkk anyone can sleep with someone they dont even find remotely attractive, I've had quite a lot of matches in only 2 weeks

[Monalisa77]

I know my brother said dating apps r mostly about sex, but i dont think anyone can sleep with someone they dont even find remotely attractive, I've had quite a lot of matches in only 2 weeks

[Blazingfang]

I think most men would love to date you.

You just have to put youself in situations where they can do that. Most couples are born from "friends introduce friends" type situations.

It's rare for a high value man, with good intentions, to approach women nowadays.

They are afraid to be called a creep, since most of us are too nervous to approach girls, and sometimes we do weird stuff due to anxieaty. Also, the workplace is not the better place to do these things. If you say no, it gets awkward and men don't want that environment in a place they go to everyday.

Those who do it all the time, are playboys, since they like the rush and adrenaline of approaching multiple women everyday.

Dating apps are also ruining the dating world, since it makes everybody look like a number, and makes it easy.

My advice, go to places you like going to. It's better to meet the man of your life in a place with a common interest. Bars, nightclubs and other places like that, are not the best places to meet a future boyfriend. Do your things, be yourself, wear what you like to wear. Let your personality shine.

And hey, it's the 21st century, if you like a guy, be yourself and approach him. If you get rejected, welcome to the club. You are not less of a women, and you did something that's very rare to happen.

But if you can't muster the strenght to do it, look and him and smile, give signals he can approach you.

Like Matthew Hussey once said "do not be easy, but for those first 5 seconds, be easy"

Most girls want to be approached, but hang out with a group of friends, or are listening to music, or look busy in public. A guy is not gonna put himself out there in those situations.

You got this girl. Don't ask others if you're pretty. You need to feel that way. And a good man will appear in your life when you least expect it.

[Amara_09]

There’s nothing absolutely wrong with you. Don’t pick yourself apart over this. It’s normal what you’re experiencing and you will be fine.


Just don’t let your confidence be dictated by this because you’re perfectly capable of anything

[sheikalana]

No, that's normal. I've always got lots of attention from men and boys but got a real boyfriend later in life.

[OlderAndWiser]

You think the problem is your appearance and you post asking our opinion, but you are anon, you haven't posted a picture, and I'm not clairvoyant. My best tip would be to repost this question with a few pictures of yourself.

[AviatorTom]

You're only 20, still young. Hang in there. You'll have your fill of boyfriends.

[Hulk_kitty]

Your still a baby at 20 for the dating scene. I known a lot of people, who have not dated right into their mid twenties, cause they wanted to focus on their career.

You plenty of time to get a boyfriend. By the way, there is nothing wrong with you. The dating scene is very hard for both sexes at the moment. A lot of people are struggling to find a prince and princess at the moment.

You not able to find a guy that likes you, I wouldn't take that personally, just take as the dating scene is not easy for anyone out their.

There is a lot of people in the same boat, its just not advertise to your face most of the time, and not people will tell they are facing the struggles as you.

Remember everyone is facing the same storm as you, just in different sized boats.

[D_Bone_Steak]

TL;DR You just didn't give the kind of guy you say you looking for the chance. No butterflies and the feels... they're too safe... if you wanted boring you'd find it. It's out there in droves. You want a bad boy hot guy to settle for you though... that's what it really is.

You want me? No Job and I don't care.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Something I've noticed is that it normally happens when you least expect it, you just gotta be open when it happens, I've also noticed that women always seem to blame their appearance first and most of the times it's not the problem, it's just not Hollywood so how you see it on TV, it's not like that at all, eventually it will happen, til then, don't change and just be yourself always, in sure someone will pick up what others have missed and cuff you.

[HighSky]

You're either insanely attractive or super ugly.

If you're super attractive then they're just assuming you already have a boyfriend and aren't bothering, or that you're far too out of their league so what's the point.

Or you're so ugly that no male wants you.

Post a picture of yourself and I can give you an answer.

[Asker]

Uhh can I like show you in private or something a picture of me

[Monalisa77]

Nobody is ugly, calling someone ugly is horrible.

[HighSky]

You can, but that is up to you.

[Monalisa77]

No its horrible, anyone who does it is horrible

[Vikkrram]

That's all about your thinking. You must be a beautiful one (everyone is beautiful in their own way) . Don't think like this

[Nikki1989]

If you want a quality guy you have to search for them and once found, don't let that guy go. They are a rare breed. I am sure your looks have little to do with anything.

[Asker]

But where can I find them and I just feel uncomfortable approaching guys considering my looks and rbf 😞

[Monalisa77]

Try going to social groups n find things of interest

[Anonymous]

Yeah, but you probably won't like it. "S*** or get off the pot".

If the guys aren't coming to you you have to go to them. This might mean you having to make the first move, maybe the second, maybe even the 3rd. This might mean taking some rejection. And know that SUCCESSFUL guys take 9 rejections for 10 attempts.

What I'm saying is only you can decide how badly you want a relationship. The impression I get is you want one, just not enough to really risk anything.

[linka_pat307]

The one sign why you are single is clearly that you have underestimated yourself hence none else is able to see that for you

[DextroShade]

You are either fat or you are rejecting most of the guys who are approaching you. What is your height, weight, and dress size.

[Asker]

I’m not fat I’m average I’m 5’4 and 130 no guy actually approaches as seen in comes to me and says hi

[DextroShade]

I call bullshit, you are rejecting dudes.

[Asker]

Can’t reject them if they never approach me 😂

[Monalisa77]

Lmao, why would someone lie about getting attention?

[Dreamclouds]

I can give you a honest opinion but hope you won't be hurt by it, I mean on your looks

[Asker]

I don’t mind honesty

[Dreamclouds]

ok then

[Asker]

How can I?

[Dreamclouds]

message me

[Reijen]

Maybe try putting on a bit of make up and not wearing such baggy clothes.

[zagor]

We can't really tell that from an anon note, now can we.

[Anonymous]

Be glad that as a girl you don't have to approach a guy