I’m going to date a lesbian for the first time?

[Anonymous]

I just graduated college a few weeks back. I’m 22 years old and leaving college is definitely abrupt especially considering I know a bunch of people still in college.
There’s this one girl ( a lesbian ) who I’ve had a couple of classes with in the past. Once I was walking up to my desk and I caught her staring at me and we had another class the next semester and I definitely caught her glancing at me a few times but her and I never talked.
I think she would’ve been interested but I was also in a relationship and wasn’t interested in her until a certain point.
I made a new friend my last semester and I found out that the new friend follows this lesbian on social media. They’re both still in college and 21 but I think they’re graduating in May. I don’t know how to approach the situation and I don’t have Instagram other wise I would just slide in the lesbians dms lol so I’m not sure what to do without being weird? Should I just let it go? I’m not looking to necessarily get in a relationship but I think this girl could be fun. I don’t want to bring her into anything confusing because I kinda have a crush on a friend of mine but we both know nothing could happen so I don’t want the lesbian to seem like my backup option.
On the flip side, there was a period when her and I had class together where I was really into her so I don't know. Should I add her on Snapchat? If so, what do I say?

[Oliverlogan263]

Here's what I think about your situation:

- I'd say go for adding her on Snapchat, but ease into it like the homies said. Keep it casual and friendly, don't come on too strong.

- Definitely respect that she's a lesbian. Make it clear you just want to be pals first and see where things go in a chill, no pressure way.

- Her identity is valid - don't even think about trying to "change" her or anything uncool like that. Let things develop naturally without any expectations.

- Being real with your feelings is good. Honesty and communication will help build trust as you get to know each other better as friends.

- Take cues from her on pace and intimacy. Go slow and let her lead - always get clear consent before anything romantic happens.

- Keep an open mind too - you might end up with a dope new friend even if nothing else happens. Either way, respect is sexy sis!

You seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders. With care, honesty and respect, I think you've got a good shot at a fun connection. Hope it goes well - keep me posted girl! You got this.

[KrakenAttackin]

It's time to grow up and leave the lesbian thing in college.

[aceleon]

why? ifshe likes her she likes her what growing up has anything to do with? is homosexuality is childish to you or something?

[KrakenAttackin]

@aceleon When I was in college there were tons of girls who were pretend lesbians. We called them "LUGS" or "Lesbians Until Graduation".

[antelope51]

What's wrong with being friends first and seeing where it goes? You don't need to jump on someone five minutes after meeting them or declaring your interest in them.

[Asker]

I’m totally open to being friends with her first lol it’s just a matter of how would I make any first move or take that first step of even initiating contact

[antelope51]

Well, I don't know how "kids" do it today, but back in the old-school, we'd slip a note into their locker/book with our phone number and run, lol.

[Asker]

Lol I couldn’t really do that since this is a college situation. I think I could just add her on social media or something, that would probably be the equivalent

[antelope51]

Yeah. That would be my first recommendation. Just go into your mutual friend's friend-list, find the person and send a friend-request or a message. I thought I read above that you weren't on a mutual platform though. *shrug* When FB was more ACTUAL people you knew IRL, it felt a little weird asking waiters/waitresses I'd see frequently (while they were working) if I could friend them on FB, but it's gotten more common, and I'm glad I did, because I can stay in touch with them, see who they are beyond filling salt-shakers, and we're all friendly a decade later. And because I stay in touch with them, when I run into them around town or in random places, we remember each other and can catch up. People are happy to be friends, and FB or the like is a good way to further a friendship without getting TOO weird/personal. And sometimes it's great for a "whew. Glad I didn't date them after all" when you find out some deal-breaker that you could abide in a social-media acquaintance but not in an IRL relationship.

I don't know. Really, the only advice I can offer is to stop spinning your wheels and act. Nobody ever said, "I wish I'd said something to her" at the 50-year anniversary party. And honestly, I can't remember most of the ones who fell through the cracks or came to nothing. But I'm glad they're in my life even as friends if not potential dating material.

[Asker]

Exactly, thanks!

[Nikki1989]

Don't overthink it. Just go with the flow and have fun.

[riverrat3]

Life is short, have fun