Is it wrong that I’m attracted to white men?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I’m a black woman and I like all kinds of guys of races as long has they treat me right. My family prefer us to stick with our own race and my dad said he doesn’t want me going though racism if I date outside my race so it’s better to stay with their own race. If a person treats me right then that’s all it matters he said. I read that black women are the least desirable race to date. That broke my heart. I have dark skin and I’m tall so that makes things worse. I’ve been rejected but guys, even by black guys.
I’m more attracted to white guys I don’t know why. Hey don’t come at me, I’m not pushing away my race, I’ve dated my race but not a relationship.
Most white guys rejected me because I’m tall and most said they don’t like black women. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t black because people say black women don’t get married. One guy said I’m so unf*ckable and I’m too fat. I’m 225lbs and I’m 5’9”. I mostly get approached by black African men and blacks. A close friend said, “You’re a BLACK woman! Of COUSE you’re going to be approached by black men a lot more. Most people are attracted to people that look like them. Besides you’re better off with a black man because people need to keep the race going and stop mixing everyone. Most white men prefer white women or other women other races. I’m just saying.” My ex is Latino and cheated on me with a petite woman. One of my aunts told me, “Oh he’s Latino. He’s cute but I’ve never seen you with a black man. In relationships and marriage, race matters and it should. Just the truth.”

[RingOfFire]

The guys who say those things to you are jerks. Just ignore them.

My last girlfriend was black and in her 20s when we met. We had a fantastic relationship and even though we ended up breaking up because she wanted marriage and I didn't, I still love her and think of her as super special in my life. I am thankful for every moment we had together.

As far as your father wanting you to date only black guys. It is nice that your father cares about you and I understand his concern. But our experience was different. No one that I knew ever expressed any racism towards her (and pretty much everyone I knew before I met her was white). BUT...

A LOT of BLACK people showed a lot of racism TOWARDS HER for dating a white guy. They called her all kinds of names (almost all of them black MEN). I mean even if we walked down the street in a major city there were black guys yelling out terrible things to HER like calling her a whore to be with a white guy or worse. I was really shocked.

So although your father's advice may be good, the racism might not come from who you expect it too. It's too bad people act this way whether they are white or black, but sometimes reality just sucks.

As to what your Aunt said, I think she is right. Race DOES matter no matter how much we wish it didn't. It can complicate relationships and even without that complication they are difficult for everyone. But that doesn't mean you can't find happiness following your own star. You only live once. Don't let anyone else determine your fate except you.

[aceleon]

- i don't know your attractiveness level

-225 lbs is far too much weight for any woman and even for mans

-5'9 you are only 1 inch shorter than me at most

i don't have anything against black woman and i find some of them insanely hot as a white (almost vampire white) man but like i said body and attractiveness is important, your height can be something overlooked if you are hot enough but 225 lbs is too much weight for even manslet alone womans, withyour height you should be 70-75 kg at absolute most. if you wanna look hot you need to be around 60 at best

but if you look at it bright side if you lost weight you will still have big boobs (hopefully)

[Avicenna]

Of course it's not wrong- everyone has their own preferences.

[Billlewis]

No, that's becoming increasingly common nowadays. I'm a Caucasian male and I've dated Black women exclusively for more than thirty years, for several reasons. Number one, I find Black women very attractive and appealing looks wise. I also love it that they're often more comfortable being waited on and catered to whenever we're spending time together. Finally, and I know this is a generalization -- they seem more likely to have a mean streak within themselves, at least some of them, which is perfect for me.

[ColHathi]

"keep the race going" 🙄 I could understand wanting to retain some traditions or something like that, but race? That's some nonsense, in my opinion. I do think that people are probably more likely to be physically attracted to their own race than others, but I don't think it's weird or wrong for you to be attracted to another race.

Moreover, in terms of physical attractiveness, while I'm white and technically prefer white women generally from a physical attraction standpoint, I've seen tons of black women that I thought were super attractive. I think that the fact that I prefer white women (physically speaking) is an extremely small and certainly unimportant point. I've flirted with black women before, or one at least ^^ And I would have no problem marrying one.

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

Black people are one of the most desirable races to date. Do you know how many white girls a guy has to look at to find a pretty one?

PS There is nothing wrong with wanting to be colonised by a white dude, but they did programme the idea in during times of slavery.

[Sonorous]

Nah it ain't wrong cause it's not racism. I'm a similar way. I tend to be more into people who aren't of my own race. Just always have been like this for me. Even my "girlfriend" when I was in kindergarten was another race.

[Asker]

Kindergarten that’s cute

[Joshydavid25]

No, it's not wrong.. It's fine and you're not even exclusively attracted to "White" men.. But we're all human and have been attracted to one another at some point.. I don't really care about the tribal mentality.. "My race" are as much strangers to me as anybody else..

[Jamie05rhs]

The things your relatives are telling you are the truth, and they're telling you that out of love.
Having said that, there's nothing wrong with you having a preference for white men. (It will just make it a bit harder for you to find a partner.)

I would recommend getting into fitness, though. Try to be as physically fit as you possibly can.

[HouseMoat]

It's not wrong to be attracted to someone, of course, but, it's wrong to say "I'm ONLY attracted to ONE race". That's basically you saying, regardless of the personality of the man, you'll ONLY date ONE race. That's the exact definition, of, racism

[Ironic_Method]

That's not the definition of racism. That's a preference. Racism is thinking someone is lesser because of their race, not wanting to date someone because of an attribute.

If I said I only want to date people with black hair, that's not racist. It's a preference.

If I said everyone with black hair are dumb because they have black hair, that's racism.

[Anonymous]

Some people are are always going to have an opinion. That doesn't make their opinion worth anything. I can understand your parents response. They're just trying to look out for you. And the society you grew up in is not the society they grew up in. I don't think there's anything wrong with dating outside your race so long as you make sure he's treating you well and not just fetishizing your race.

[Anonymous]

Well white guys like slimmer women no matter the race, your height isn’t the problem, it’s your weight, if you slimmed down you probably would attract white guys more. My ex wife was black and 5’8” but only weighed 140 pounds and was attractive so every guy wanted her. I’m white so she attracted me, we did have beautiful looking daughters also

[tzdc21]

Race doesn't matter with that. That's just a bunch of BS. I hear it all the time too. It's not wrong at all.

[Forceinhand]

I don't know how many times this has been asked and I mean really? You can't figure that one out yourselves? Of course it's not wrong to feel attraction. What do they teach in American schools.

[Dr_CEI]

I have a white friend who only sleeps with black men and and black girl who only likes white guys. Each to their own I say

[Danny_dan92]

There is nothing wrong with being with or being attracted to anyone that isn’t of the same ethnicity.




The only challenging thing would be culture differences

[AmeerX]

You are better off with a white man or men of your preference. I am personally attracted to white women or women with fairer skin then my own. No need to be feeling guilty about it

[zagor]

No. I've been attracted to a number of black women. But TBH, while the 5'9 is fine the 225 lbs would be a turn-off for me. But not for a lot of guys.

[KostasKouvalis]

I don't blame you, we're the master race ^_^ Also, your dad is wrong because no one is more racist towards blacks than other blacks.

[OddBeMe]

Can’t be racist in sexual attraction. It’s not a choice.

[QuietRunner]

not wrong

have fun with white guys

lots of us love Black girls

[LiamJHayden]

There is nothing wrong with preferences.