Agree or disagree, if a man wants to go 50/50 then he just shouldn't date?

[Apple1996]

I'm not even sure why a man thinks he can waste a woman's time for a date then expect her to pay.

As women our time is extremely valuable and we could be wasting it on a man that'd at least pay for the date

Agree

Disagree

Updates

3 mo

a lot of y'all are failing to understand that this isn't about money. The date could be free but the man still has the value my time and make the date worthwhile

Updates

3 mo

To all the dusty men, knowing my self worth is not the same as entitlement. I had strong male role models that taught me to never settle or take shit from men.
I understand some women didn't have that and it's a way to take advantage of them. I'm just not that type of woman. Sorry not sorry 😆

[Crimsyjo]

God some of these entitled opinions are hard to read and so damaging as it perpetuates the already difficult dating scenarios where men are afraid of being financially used for "free meals" by narcissistic women. I agree with the sentiment of a man leading and proving he is a good provider etc. But we are not living in the 18th century anymore and women are mostly financially capable. Even though I want a masculine man to compliment my feminine energy I still expect to be an EQUAL in a relationship. I think a 50/50 split is a good way of showing that you are an equal and you also are not a user of men. I *may* accept the man paying is he absolutely insists and I really like him and am hoping for more dates. But I would offer. I went 50/50 from start with man that became my husband and we was together 12 years, both worked, and always split everything 50/50. Just coming back to the idea of a man's "role" in being provider, protector etc... maybe in the old traditions thos meant physically provide house and money. Protect from other men and beggars and thieves. NOW in the modern day it is less of that and more a spiritual/mental role of being a partner that compliments rather than dominates a woman. Provides trust, loyalty, honesty, friendship, passion. These things come with time and "paying" for a woman's meal on a 1st date proves nothing. A man could do that and still end up a selfish, abusive, controlling d*ck that would still "knock you up" and run.

And lastly I agree with the comment made about dating people you already know. Unfortunately this is not the way the world works anymore. I met my no ex-husband at work and it developed naturally. But I have never met anyone in my working or social circles since. And that is over the last 14 years since I split with my husband.

[RammyM]

Your comment is a fresh change of pace, literally the only comment that isn't a complete dumpster fire.

[turnpost]

THIS IS A MANS WORLD!!! LOL James Brown. look at my other comments

[Bilak845678]

You're just amazing. Just know that a lot of good men would love to date or marry you because your mentality is so attractive. Wish all women were like you

[Crimsyjo]

@Bilak845678 aww thank you. That means a lot. Hopefully I will find a good guy soon who will see my value and worth as a good partner!

[EmyyWolf]

The male of every single species chases the female and has to impress the female. Paying for those who risk giving birth to their snotty brat. Is the least these weak, pathetic, bad genes 🧬 males can do.

THE LEAST , the weak males can do.

THE LEAST.
THE MINIMUM.
THE BARE MINIMUM.

Most men, generally ask the woman out on a date. So the asker , should be paying anyway.

And the idea is not the amount of money being used. It’s the activity they’re gonna do. The conversations. Eachother’s presence.

The food being payed for; is supposed to SYMBOLIZE that the man is gonna be there for her in her time of need. AKA being disabled by pregnancy. Financial security. Protection. Care. It can even symbolize physical protection against an attacker. It’s supposed to SYMBOLIZE his admiration to you 🫵 and his care to you

He can take you to eat at Burger King, as long as he’s paying. The SYMBOL is the same, he cares.

BELOW ARE IMAGES PROVING THAT EVERY MALE OF EVERY SPECIES HAS TO IMPRESS THE FEMALE. NOT THE FEMALE TO THE MALE👇👇👇👇

MAMMAL

MAMMAL

AVAIN

AMPHIBIAN

REPTILE

IF ANY GUY DISAGREES WITH THIS, THEYRE AN IGNORANT DOWNBAD , BROKE, UNSELECT MALE, WHO doesn't KNOW HOW TO IMPRESS ANYONE. THIS IS BASIC BIOLOGY YOU LEARN IN MIDDLE-SCHOOL. 🖕DAD, PROBABLY wasn't AROUND TO TEACH HIM THIS.

[Apple1996]

Omg thank you! It's bare minimum to pay. I wouldn't be popping out my husband's childern if he couldn't provide for me

[EmyyWolf]

AND I CAN CONTINUE ON…


MAMMAL

st2.depositphotos.com/.../...ing-opened-mouths.jpg
REPTILE…
Only the largest males that impress the females get to fuck.
THE MALES HAVE TO IMPRESS. ITS NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
It’s not the females “the ones with the power to clone them” that are supposed to impress the males.

[turnpost]

Also males that last the longest stay hard, durable and dependable, reusable, capable, adaptable get to fuck as well. Actually all men can fuck actually quite easily just need to lower your standards, to really low standard and be nice. Some men can be like chameleons, in that one environment the guy can be seen as a Hispanic person and another environment can viewed as an Indian person both have there pros and cons. Those that can Language process also get to f to.

[turnpost]

But none of these animals go to Olive Garden or tip the waiter, so animals aren't exactly the best example. Also Alpha animals are sort of brain dead in terms of what to do in terms of bdsm or dealing with health insurance.

[turnpost]

avoiding stds and using condoms. Can you imagine any of these animals using condoms. I didn't think so...

[turnpost]

I wonder if animals will evolve to use condoms. Like I am pretty sure this will happen eventually, like the worlds smartest whale could probably figure this out provided he was given one. But then what else do these whales have to do? Honestly these animals should get like hobbies so sex wasn't the only thing on there mind. I think adventure is big thing on there mind. but tbh idrc much about animals. (Be nice to animals of course lol )

Actually considering whale population is getting low, so there encouraged. What a crazy thing to be encouraged to have sex. I think that is how it is in Japan.

[EmyyWolf]

Everything you said make no sense. Keep things simple and on one single post.

These animals are a good examples because men use money as a way to impress the female and show his admiration.
The animals fighting eachother or displaying their male trait is still in “impressing the female” mode. Other animals dance to impress the female.

[turnpost]

Prince, was noted to be hottest person in the 80's like would you "date" prince if he was alive.

People have different tastes. Women chase men to lol. Paying for the date is very small gesture but guys chasing women is norm. But both women and men chase k. Just in different ways.

[Avicenna]

LOL, Apple, Uncle Sam supports you...

[EmyyWolf]

@Avicenna
Well if it isn’t one of the most misogynist, predatory males on this entire website.
Remember me you weak male?

https://youtu.be/syx8P6HgyKs

👆 THIS WAS MY MOST RECENT VIDEOS. YOU HOPE YOU LIKED IT.
I recommend you watch the older ones, so that it can help weak. Unselect, Bad Genetics Males like you 🫵
https://youtu.be/WfUS-MZ_d1E
https://youtu.be/jbmsmDMKvpo
https://youtu.be/kwoOND3VZZc
https://youtu.be/KhCFXmWcvHY

Guys like you inspired me to create these 👍👍

[Avicenna]

You're really insane. No wonder no guy wants to date a shrew like you. But thanks for the laughs...

[Apple1996]

@EmyyWolf you are a queen! The most honest woman on this site and I absolutely love it 💕

[EmyyWolf]

@Avicenna

NO GUY WANTS TO DATE ME? OOHHH NOOOOO
We all know you were squirming at the edge of your seat , like a little bitch. Hearing everything I had to say.

[Avicenna]

In your deluded, drug-induced dreams, perhaps. In the real world, an arrogant idiot like you with no social skills whatsoever doesn't get a boyfriend. Even the simps get away from you as fast as they can as soon as you open your mouth (if they have even been willing to get near you).

[EmyyWolf]

@Avicenna
Are you like 50?
Jesus Christ, why are you arguing with a woman in her 20’s….
Shouldn’t you be knitting something for the grandkids…. 😆😆😆
WTF are you doing GRAMPS…. 😆😆😆

[Avicenna]

LMAO, you really don't know anything about men... knitting?
I'm teaching you things your father should have taught you.

[EmyyWolf]

@Avicenna
Where’s Grandma 👵 SUSAN.
We need to find Grandma Susan. 😆😆😆😆

[turnpost]

Please dont group me in with anyone. I am all for the guy paying for your date. I am just saying the loving impressing naturally comes in both ways. In tradition and one way show of gratitude man pays for the date, this is one sign I would happily pay for over and over.

[SpicyChickenWings]

Guessing you pay 100% of your own meals :(

[EmyyWolf]

@SpicyChickenWings
Are you NOT supposed to pay 100% of your own meals?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm old school and I agree. That said, I never did online dating or blind dates in general. I only dated women I already knew to some degree.

So I can sympathize with guys who start wanting to go 50-50 after dating some random girl online, see her order the most expensive items on the menu, pay for it, only for her to then ghost him. But I think the solution to that is to stop dating people we don't know, not start splitting bills. Date people we do know within a shared community; ghosting is impossible then.

I think the point of dating though is for a man to prove to a woman that he can lead, protect, and provide. So we demonstrate our leadership by arranging the date and the woman follows our lead (if she chooses). We demonstrate our ability to protect by little rituals like standing on the side of the curb closer to the road that we can protect the woman should a car swerve to the side. And finally we demonstrate our ability to provide by paying for the date.

We are demonstrating that we will make capable leaders, protectors, and providers in the home as husbands and fathers. That is the way of the gentleman as I see it.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also if a man wants to use a masculine dating approach, like he initiates the date, plans it, and the woman follows his lead, and he doesn't pay for the bill, he's a cheapskate. Same if a woman wants to use a masculine approach and the man follows her lead and she doesn't pay for it, then she's a cheapskate.

The leader should always pay for their followers. For example, say a female boss invites people working under her for dinner after work at her favorite restaurant. If the workers follow her lead, she should pay for the bill or she is a cheapskate. A responsible leader does not impose the costs of their executive decisions on their followers.

[Apple1996]

I totally agree with everything you said

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Cheers! I think that leadership part and associated responsibility is a lot of what modern-minded people are missing. They want a "partnership" absent any hierarchy, not just in dating but in marriage.

And headless partnerships can work to a degree provided that any disputes can be negotiated away until both parties are in unanimous agreement. But the problem I see is that there will likely be some point where a dispute can't be negotiated away, and then I suspect a couple absent a designated leader will need to find their missing leader in a third party to have the final say.

And that third party leader is likely to be a judge in a divorce court.

[LunarEclipse433]

Totally agree

[zeitgeist057]

okay, but often a 1st date is the first time many people are seeing someone offline that they met online. It's literally the way they are getting to know the person, so it doesn't work too well as a strategy to "stop dating people we don't know". If dating someone is how you are getting to know them, anyway.
I think going on a date is NOT a place to demonstrate ability to protect and provide. I think it's a space/time for two people to see if they have a genuine connection.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@zeitgeist057 That's where I can make a bit more sense of splitting (especially if there's no clear leader/follower dynamic) but in my perspective -- and it's admittedly quite traditional -- is that dating with the prospect of getting to know each other is skipping what would normally be a process getting to know each other outside of dating, as members of a shared community, like a classmate with whom we've exchanged a thousand conversations and already have that chemistry and connection (as an example still relevant even to people living in the most urban areas and absent a sense of any other shared community).

When we date people we already know as part of a shared community, other members can vouch for each other's good character. There's no risk of men being exploited for their money by nefarious women or women for their bodies only to be ghosted after by nefarious men, as it's impossible to ghost each other as members of a shared community not to mention that it's highly unlikely to even go on a date with someone nefarious selecting among this shared community.

So I think dating with the prospect of getting to know each other is jumping into dating way too quickly. I'm of the strong opinion that many of the complaints associated with modern dating like how it has devolved into a materialistic hook-up culture would be mitigated substantially if people sought to get to know each other outside of dating, and not inside.

Like if people have difficulty meeting others without online help, I think a far superior system would be "online friend matchmaking", where two people make friends to meet in their local area of both sexes. Then perhaps even initially meet each other in groups of like-minded people and start forming an inner circle of mutual friends that way, and over time of getting know everyone within these expanding groups, find potential love interests among them.

[zeitgeist057]

excellent points and explanation. I'm actually a big fan of this more organic way of interacting as well. However, with the given technology and use of it, these sorts of community interactions are not as common, and the newer generations never had a life without the newer (but not necessarily better) options.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@zeitgeist057 Cheers! Reconciling our basic human tendencies and needs for mental health with evolving technology is one of my greatest concerns. I don't think it's by any mere coincidence or simply an inaccuracy in reporting that people living in the most densely-populated urban areas, so divorced in lifestyle from the bulk of our evolutionary history, tend to demonstrate higher overall levels of anxiety and depression.

We're a highly social and communal species as I see who need to feel like valued members of a community to maintain our mental health and find our sense or meaning and purpose in life.

At least that has been very true in my case. I originally started off after graduating from school taking jobs that required me to travel to new cities all the time. So I had nothing in the way of a sense of belonging to a community outside of work. I'd make some friends and acquaintances to hang out with here and there, sometimes date women in hotel bars of company-rented hotels, but always to see such relationships very short-lived as I had to move to yet another new city and say goodbye to them all, never to see them again. Then I was quickly growing this sense of emptiness (I wouldn't exactly call it loneliness since I started to become decent at making friends among strangers and dates), but emptiness of a sort I couldn't pinpoint.

Then I found that emptiness filled when I stopped traveling so much and stayed in one place and started finding a community of like-minded and wholesome friends (both sexes), and expanding since we kept inviting new nice people we met into our shared group. After that, I started to finally have long-lived relationships (both friends and girlfriends) and it was only after a couple of LTRs that I met my now-wife of 14 years (a friend of a friend at a picnic, who quickly grew into my friend, and months later, my date).

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@zeitgeist057 So I might possibly be guilty of projecting what I found to be my own needs to everyone else, but I really think if everyone else works remotely like me, before we even start talking about dating, everyone absent a sense of belonging to a community would be better off starting by finding one. It also tends to fill that emptiness if we have one inside which we might mistakenly fill by trying to find the love of our lives, when we're much more immediately missing this sense of belonging to a community. Filling that void also tends to make us select our partners more carefully without jumping into something romantic and possibly sexual prematurely.

[zeitgeist057]

I don't think you're so different than most people, and as a mental health professional, I agree with your analysis of humans as social animals who do better with a more intimate community.

I relate to your story about traveling for work. I traveled for pleasure 6 months out of the year for over a decade. I love to travel, and enjoy meeting new people. I am good at making connections and becoming fast friends with people, yet as time went on, I had similar experiences with feeling an emptiness due to missing people I'd met and feeling like it was a cyclical pattern with very few long-term, intimate connections.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I agree 100%

[Bklynbadboy12]

If I was a woman I wouldn't even go out with a man that wanted me to go Dutch on a date. Plus he's still looking for me to put out after I had to pay for my own meal. Damn you could at least treat me to a nice dinner before you fuck me. I feel sorry for women cause these men ain't shit now a days 😞😞😞😞

[Apple1996]

Exactly I wouldn't go out with a man like that either. Paying is the least he could do. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive but do something to show he cares

[Bklynbadboy12]

I just don't understand how a man can invite you out then ask you to pay for yourself and then expect you to want him afterwards I tell my females cousins and sister that same thing. Don't bother he's selfish and not worth your time

[Bklynbadboy12]

Thanks for the MHO

[Avicenna]

That presumes the woman doesn't want to go 50-50. Guess what? Professional women usually want to do that. Ones who are still students or don't make much, obviously the guy expects to pay.

[Apple1996]

If a woman wants to go 50/50 that's a sign of low self esteem. Trying to make up for lacking in other areas. A real man would not allow for her to acutally pay

[Avicenna]

None of these women I encountered had low self-esteem or were obviously lacking in some way. Not sure where you get that from. They wanted a companion, not financial support (which they didn't need).

The mentality that women are entitled to get as much as they can out of men is damaging to women.

[Apple1996]

A woman with high self esteem would not settle for a man that makes her pay

[Avicenna]

They aren't being forced to go 50/50 (actually split checks), they want to do it. That isn't low self-esteem no matter how many times you say it.

[Apple1996]

If they aren't being forced that's even more clear that there is some trauma within them. A feminine woman would allow the man to pay

[zeitgeist057]

A real man doesn't fall victim to the "a real man wouldn't "________" manipulation of ego tactic. So basic. In the blank, the woman simply inserts the thing she wants to manipulate the man into doing. Unfortunately it doesn't work on reasonably intelligent men who have no insecure need to prove what a man they are.

[zeitgeist057]

You really think someone showing financial independence is a sign of low self esteem? That's a tough stance to maintain if you have any grip on reality.

[Avicenna]

@zeitgeist057: Apple has something against working women who are financially independent. Don't know why...

[zeitgeist057]

Having arrived at the question after your (2 at the moment) updates, I think ironically what you're "failing to understand is that this isn't about the money." I can afford to pay for a meal, event, transportation, the works. I could afford to pay my date $100/hour to spend her evening with me. But it's not about the money. It's about mutual respect.

You say "the man still has the (sic) value my time and make the date worthwhile". What "makes the date worthwhile"? That you get a free meal out of it? What about his time, is that not just as valuable as yours? If you truly think going on a date with a man is a waste of your time, then you are just as bad or worse. You don't want to take shit or settle, which is fine, but you want to make them settle and take your shit. You want to dish it out, and take advantage of them, which is not equal and no self-respecting man is going to bother with you. Which is fine, there are plenty of subservient men out there, and also plenty of men who know their worth and are also fine with paying for the meal. But they will figure you out soon enough and drop you like a $2 hot pocket.

This is great evidence why 50/50 is the way to go, at least for me, on an initial meet. Even though I enjoy being generous, it allows me to avoid women who think "their self-worth" is established by taking advantage of others, and that their time is more valuable than another human being's.

[Apple1996]

Well I haven't been dropped in the last 11 years from my partner so obviously how I view this worked to make a successful relationship

[Apple1996]

@AsalamAmalek how does that make me rundown? It means I'm living a good life compared to most others that don't have anything.

[glennos89]

Totally disagree with what you trying to make us believe when it comes to the value of a woman's time schedule. Do you have any idea how much time a guy has to wasted before a conversation even leads up to a actual date?

Guys are putting in 90% of the work that leads up to the first date, then we are expected to pay the date aswell so tell me why time should be more valuable to you compared to the value of our time. We are the ones putting in all the effort and time, woman are mainly just expected to reply and show up. That's all they have to do really. It's easy to be a woman when we talk about the whole dating subject. You just have to wait and reply when a guy dm's you. But still you are complaining.

You believe you are more important and valuable because you have a pussy instead of dick but woman which are that ego-centric in their way of thinking are actually pretty worthless to a proper and genuine good guy.

I'm happy to put in all the effort and pay for the date as well asslong as the woman I taking out to diner doesn't have this selfish stinking attitude thag lots of these so called feminist woman have nowerdays. They don't deserve to be treated that good because all they think about is themselves and that's making them not valuable at all 🤷‍♂️

Please lose the attitude and try to bridge the gap between man and woman. Your not in any way more valuable or important then any other human being living on this planet. You are just being delusional if you believe you are more important then someone else 💯

[PeachyPie93]

I get going 50/50 in the beginning for the first few dates but after that I lose interest in a guy that thinks that is the relationship because my dad showed me how 'real' men behave and they provide. Even now as an adult my father still randomly gives me money because he loves me and wants me to be okay in life.

[Apple1996]

I'm the same way because of my dad. He taught me to never settle

[PeachyPie93]

So true, I don't know what is with these young guys these days.

[Apple1996]

I've been thinking the men and women in these comments saying 50/50 is okay probably didn't have a strong father figure to teach them better

[turnpost]

Lol you can come to your conclusions. Your Dad and Edu. dont rule your life. Partners should shows signs of mutual connection. So show there signs in different ways.

I think its pretty hot to feed your partner and pay for her meal.

[Guido]

I am old school and I have paid for every date I have asked a woman out on.

Now I do somewhat understand from a guys perspective that have paid for numerous dates and got nothing in return other that her company. Not even a kiss let alone anything else. Result is he spent a ton of money and his time on a woman only interested in getting something for free. definitely not all woman are like this and most I dated were interested in relationships but some were just out for a fancy freebie dinner. We do work hard for our money and want to spend it on a woman that appreciates what we are doing.

So my question is back to the women, what do you do to make the man want a second date with you and spend more of his hard earned money on you? What makes him want a 2nd date with you?

[Apple1996]

It's not even about spending money. I would like a 2nd date just because he enjoys being around me

[Guido]

@Apple1996 What do you do that makes him want to ask you out again? I get that not every date has to be costly. How do you get his interest in more dates?

[turnpost]

braaaa

[SpicyChickenWings]

I don't think women who fuss about who pays get second dates :<

[Billlewis]

I'm honestly very disappointed if she doesn't let me pay for the date in its entirety, and I also ask her if she's dating other guys, and if she says she is, I literally *beg* her to let me pay for those dates, as well. If she asks me why I want to pay for her dates with other guys, I tell her that by paying for all her dates, regardless of whether they're with me or one of the other men she's seeing, I can be involved with her social and sexual life as intimately as possible.

[Apple1996]

You are a good man

[Billlewis]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Goddess. I know most guys don't feel this way, but the most important thing to me is that she's incredibly happy, and if that means spoiling the other guys she's dating, as well, that's even more exciting for me.

[SpicyChickenWings]

But will she be in the kitchen cooking dinner for you and your kids while you pay for everything?

[Billlewis]

@SpicyChickenWings Oh, no, not at all. Not only do I want to pay for all her dates -- whether the date is with me or one of the other guys she's dating -- my goal is to to do all her household chores, as well, whenever possible.

[AaronKrieger]

It is weird to see you trolling somewhat now days 😂. I get it though - you get more responses that way. It reminds me of Bill Burr

Anyway, guys that want to pay 50/50 will hurt their chances by it, since a lot of people do not do that based on principle including myself. However, it does not mean guys who do should not attempt to date. Everyone treats dating differently.

[Apple1996]

This isn't trolling. It's just a random question I was curious about 😂
And true everyone is different

[petitedollbabee]

Disagree. I don’t think that anyone should be dating if they expect the other person to pay for them, it’s an immature and entitled mindset, unless the person that you’re dating has specifically said that they want to pay for you. I think that going 50/50 or paying your share is the way that it should be. Who’s to say that your time is more valuable than his time? Both of you have agreed to the date.

[Juxtapose]

What Apple is essentially arguing is that men's time is not as valuable because they are more desperate and have to take what they can get while women can pick and choose.

Other men have argued that because men have less time to waste, their time is therefore more valuable.

Personally I think as humans our time has equal value and we should not be judging each other based on immutable characteristics.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose a man asking a woman on a date is him asking for her time. He has already decided to give up his own time by asking.

Similar to if I asked a friend to my house for dinner. I would not allow them to bring food because I just want their company. Their time is valued to me so I would provide food or whatever to make them comfortable. I've already given up my time for asking them over

[zeitgeist057]

@Juxtapose I understand she is of the misconception that women are more valuable than men, but there's plenty of reality that argues otherwise. I don't think it's right, but men are more valued in our society. They get paid more to do the same work, and in some places, female children are abandoned or killed because of their perceived lack of worth. Women are treated like crap. So I guess it makes sense when they want to fire back and feel like they are winning at something.

As far as the dating scene goes, though, I don't really think women are "winning" at all. If anything, it's a mutual loss. More people are going lonely, not because they are better or worse, but because they are unable to connect with each other. Partly due to attitudes like those demonstrated here. If you have a woman who thinks she's too good for most men, and a man who thinks he's too good for most women, you end up with two people who are full of themselves, spending some alone time lol.

[Juxtapose]

Actually I was taught it is customary to bring something to somebody's home when you are invited as a way of thanks. My friend's family invited me over for Thanksgiving and Christmas because I live far away from my own family so I brought them gifts. When I would go to my friend's house as a child back when I lived with my family, my dad would tell me to bring a present over when I went to my friend's house. At the very least a bag of popcorn or a soda. It is showing appreciation towards somebody's hospitality.

And also when I would invite a friend to go eat at a chili dog place her and I would pay for our own meal or sometimes one of us would treat the other. It was not based on who asked.

Basing it on whoever asks the other person out first is a manipulation tactic used by women who know full well men are the ones who are going to be forced to ask first.

If a woman asked me out for dinner, I would not make her pay for my meal nor would I expect her to. We both agreed to the date, we both agreed to give up our equally valuable time.

And also like I said before, judging people based on immutable characteristics is bad. Sexism is bad, just like racism.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose it's fine to bring something in return but if the person asking demanded them to bring their own there would be no point of hanging out with that person. It'd be wasted time

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose it's not sexist. If a woman asked me out I'd also expect her to pay and treat my time as valued. If I asked her then it'd be flipped

[Juxtapose]

Well like I said, the dating scene is rigged so men are essentially forced to ask first even if they are cripplingly shy and have all kinds of disabilities. It doesn't matter, they have to do it or they are going to be likely single for decades. Women just DON'T ask men out first so putting that standard up is essentially saying men have to always be the ones to shoulder the burden of the first date.

[Juxtapose]

That standard you have by the way doesn't extend to any friendship I have ever had, even with women. If I ask somebody out to dinner to hang out, we pay for our own stuff or we trade who pays for it.

[Juxtapose]

I mean what guy for example is going to invite his friends out to drink and then pay for every single last drink? It's just preposterous!

[Juxtapose]

I mean hell, the last time my grandfather and my mom took me out to a bar (I love the Legion) they didn't buy me anything. If my friend invited me out for bowling, I would not expect him to pay for my ticket.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose I've paid for my friends many times. Even friends that it was are first time hanging out and we didn't know each other that well

[Juxtapose]

And it was either goodness of your heart rather than some obligation to some snooty bitch who thinks they are worth more than you.

[Juxtapose]

*out of the goodness of your heart

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose even if they were snooty I wouldn't care tbh. Their time is more valuable than mine in the scenario of me asking them to go out

[Juxtapose]

Rather than worrying about time or obligation people should just meet up and have fun in my opinion. I have never had umbridge with how I plan events from my friends or even dates.

Especially putting sexist expectations on men.. ugh. Luckily I have had women that were willing to pay their fair share.

[Juxtapose]

*umbrage

[imtiaz45]

Whether a person chooses to go 50/50 in a relationship or not is subjective and depends on individual preferences and agreements between partners. Some may see a 50/50 split as fair and equitable, reflecting shared responsibilities, while others may have different arrangements based on personal beliefs or cultural norms. It's crucial for individuals to communicate openly about their expectations and financial preferences in a relationship. Dating can be successful with various financial arrangements as long as there is mutual understanding, respect, and effective communication between partners regarding their expectations and contributions within the relationship.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/NqEi_JAd7Mo

[turnpost]

In Islam the guy pays, like come on now. If you dont pay the girl will probably slap you and others will be encouraged to slap you afterwards, dont act like this is a choice llol.

[Apple1996]

@turnpost lol wow in America we should pick up this slapping tradition if he doesn't pay 😂

[KostasKouvalis]

I don't mind paying, but she'd better give me some kind of commitment or at the very least a good dick suck. I can pay on the first date, but I'm not gonna get taken advantage of. So I ain't emptying my wallet, unless I'm getting something in return

[Apple1996]

Fair enough

[Apple1996]

I sucked off my husband before he even took me on a date but both were within the same week

[KostasKouvalis]

lol Why am I not surprised?

[Apple1996]

Haha I just like sucking. Don't judge me

[KostasKouvalis]

I know you do. :p
Check your DMs ;)

[NathanDavis]

Anybody too worried about the price of ONE date...

should reconsider dating as a whole... lol

[Apple1996]

Exactly. There dates should be going for a free walk in the park 😂

[KittygosMeoWW]

Lmao this

[SpicyChickenWings]

Maybe he has better things to spend his money on?

[NathanDavis]

@SpicyChickenWings let me guess...

animated porn, special edition figurines of them waifus?

[SpicyChickenWings]

Maybe, dono who she's in to

[NathanDavis]

@SpicyChickenWings what's so interesting to you that rather spend money on so fondly?

[KittygosMeoWW]

@NathanDavis lmao he’s spending it on spicy chicken wings.

[SpicyChickenWings]

@KittygosMeoWW You know me so well, and we just met :)

[NathanDavis]

@KittygosMeoWW some things are best... when shared

[SpicyChickenWings]

Oh, I like where this conversation is going :D

[KittygosMeoWW]

@SpicyChickenWings I agree, you and @NathanDavis should suck on a chicken wing together ✌️😘

[NathanDavis]

@KittygosMeoWW so that's why he doesn't want to spend on a date with women...

[SpicyChickenWings]

Yah, anyone up for some wings, DM me :)

[Agape93]

Disagree. My logic is simple.

If I ask you out, I'm paying it in full.

If you ask me out, you're paying it in full.

If we agree to go 50/50, we pay for our own meals.

[Apple1996]

In this scenario the guy is asking since that's what is most common

[Agape93]

If he's asking me out and not paying, the date won't happen. If he mentions this after we eat, I'll tell the server it's a 2 check date. I'll pay mine and he can his own shit and not call me again.

[Apple1996]

Exactly lol

[Phoenix98]

I'm fine on paying for dates when I take a woman out, but if I ever meet a woman with that attitude I will drop her without a second. It's stuck up, it's entitled, it's disrespectful and my time is valuable and it will not be wasted on a woman like that.

[Crimsyjo]

Well said! The attitude of these women is disgusting and make me ashamed to be associated with the same gender!

[Apple1996]

It's nature that makes womens time for valuable. Not our attitude

[Crimsyjo]

Just for the record... the term 50/50 in dating DOES mean money. Aka the bill. It is literally what it means and makes no sense to say about free dates. What is 50/50 in a free date? And what is 50/50 in context of valuable time? SMH

[Phoenix98]

@Apple1996 if I’m going to spend my valuable time and money, be respectful and a gentleman to her, make sure she’s entertained and having fun, make sure she’s safe while in my care and plan out the entire night/date.

Then she will show me some respect, she will be respectful and she will leave her attitude at the door or like I said I won’t waste my time.

[SpicyChickenWings]

NOPE, unlike your nature men earn their money, which requires time and effort.

[Phoenix98]

@SpicyChickenWings Are you replying to me or to the women in my comments?

[Crimsyjo]

he's replying to "it's nature that makes women's time valuable". As in a person's "nature" if she is meaning innate character does not require much effort or time (as it is just part of who they are) unlike the time and effort a man has to put in to have the finances to spend supporting such a "valuable woman" 🙄.

[exitseven]

I sort of agree with this. When I was dating the guy always, did the asking and the guy always paid. The exception was when I had a LDR if I spent money on plane fare I did not pay for dining out or other things that we did

[Apple1996]

Yes if the guy asks then he should pay

[Sirenboobzilla]

As first dates go, I don't let anyone pay for me.

• I might be skinny, but I can easily eat and drink people under the table.
• I don't like the idea of owing someone something for it.

When I'm actively dating someone, I still like to pay for my portion of the date. 3 years in to it with my boyfriend and he's smart enough to either go sneak away and go pay while I'm not looking or hide my purse.

[zeitgeist057]

Would you agree with OP that this is because you are insecure? and that other women who are financially independent are also insecure?

[Sirenboobzilla]

I've been pondering this for 2 hours since you commented. I can't think of any reason why these would make me insecure.

[zeitgeist057]

lol it didn't make any logical sense to me, either. No worries :)

[zeitgeist057]

thank you for taking the time to ponder, though.

[Sharkstealth]

I believe some women would be OK with it. I'm old fashioned but I'm tired of being treated like shit by women so I'm done but I never really dated anyways. I was always pretty earthy after childhood. I would just go snowboarding or swimming and women just went with me or I met amongst friends. There weren't any dates. I would go camping and meet a girl and we would have sex in my van and then just did other things together. Maybe I'd go to a toga party and make out with a gal and later go hiking then water skiing. There weren't dates. It was just having fun together.

[MemeSupreme]

no seriously let's make this normal bc i hate anyone paying for my shit. unless we together and it's serious im not even like considering it. this has annoyed dudes who thought i didn't like them bc i didn't let them pay

blame it on me practically raising myself but i hate feeling like i owe someone or given a handout. THATS JUST ME tho anyone else can do whatever they prefer lol

[Unit1]

That's so good to hear.

[Berethor]

If a man pay then woman should give him 100% granted sex I would say. :)

[Apple1996]

That seems fair

[Berethor]

Didn't expected you to agree, but okay then, it worth paying for. :D

[Apple1996]

I would only ever go on a date with a man that I thought was fuckable. If not that's also a waste of my time

[SpicyChickenWings]

In that case, just get a prostitute, then at least sex is guaranteed :)

[Redstang88]

And our time is less valuable? I could be out working to treat a girl that will appreciate it and not see me as a walking ATM

I almost always pick up the bill on a first date, but it’s goes a long way to at least offer and if she seems to expect a free meal automatically there probably won’t be a second

[Apple1996]

It's not about the money. A date could easily be free if the man chooses that. The value of time still stands even with a free or paid date

[Redstang88]

Not really. It costs a $100 to leave the house these days, and dating in highschool is a lot different than dating as an adult in a big city.
Exactly, I make 50/hr so real easy to put a value on my time

[Apple1996]

There are tons of free date ideas. You just have to be creative. It doesn't always cost a price especially over 100. In high-school those dates tend to be expensive compared to adult dates in my opinion

[Redstang88]

Easy to say as someone that hasn’t dated in how many years? No offense but you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about

[Apple1996]

You do realize that married people keep dating each other. It doesn't just stop 😆

[Apple1996]

Men that think dates have to be fancy are going after high maintenance women or are high maintenance themselves. Dates do not have to be fancy or pricey. But if a guy is asking a girl to go somewhere fancy he should step up and pay. That's completely on him for asking her out in the first place

[KittygosMeoWW]

I agree to an extent, I wouldn’t expect a guy I recently met to go full throttle on spending. Just be a gentleman and respect my time with thoughtful acts of love.

[KittygosMeoWW]

For example I dated someone in the past that I would give beautiful expensive gifts to and he gave me a Easter basket from the dollar section for my bday 😂🙈. Mind you my birthday is in the fucking summer and inside the book there was office supplies like box pens, post its, and wash cloths.

[Apple1996]

Lol it's the thought that counts 🤣

[KittygosMeoWW]

Nooo! Lol and he was pissed when some of the men I worked with got me a huge bouquet of edible arrangements, lush box, and flowers. He thought of me as someone that didn’t deserve better just an after thiught

[Apple1996]

Wow that is sad 😔 gifts aren't everything but if other guys that aren't dating you are getting you all that then maybe he should have stepped up

[KittygosMeoWW]

Not sad, learning lesson. He had the financial means, he just didn’t care.