Men, do you think women want a man who is truly in touch with his feelings? Women do you want a man who is always emotionally available?

[Anonymous]

[smne35]

Some women do and some men play that role you know act like oh baby. Oh that's so touching. I mean men do it with men. Do whatever they got to do to get you know inside a woman's pants and women do the same damn thing but most of them be like meters. Toughen up pump some testosterone in your ass or something here whining like a little girl yeah, women can be cruel when they see their men whimping out like that so and some accept that you know. Oh poor baby! He's so sensitive accept them like that and he'll play that role well she's at work. You'll play mr mom that's what That's what they want to do. That's their thing. That's the ones who will slap his ass up when you come acting like that and you better toughen up man. Get your ass out of here. Go back home to your mama and I think that's the feminist That's hard like that on dude. She be saying I'm the man and he's like no I'm the man. I got the dick she's like. No I'm the man cuz I got to dick too. now , so what's up, what time to go can't touch that

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I suspect most women want emotionally mature men as men want emotionally mature women. Emotionally mature people, as in those who think very productively and positively, don't burst out into tears or throw tantrums very often. That doesn't mean they're out of touch with their feelings!

There is a tendency in my perspective for some women to interpret men as broken simply for not behaving like immature women, simply because they don't turn to mush and constantly place their hands over their heart saying, "I feel like [...] I feel like [...]," and weep over little things.

Some men are genuinely broken when they harbor the most negative thoughts but repress their negative emotions out of fear of being judged negatively. But the cure for such men as I see it isn't to constantly turn into mush and start wearing their hearts on their sleeve but to start cultivating more positive and productive thinking patterns.

And that actually does require being in deep touch with our thoughts and how they influence our feelings to cultivate inner peace, positivity, and joy, but the end result isn't going to be a person who frequently turns to mush.

So the image of the end result I think is off. For example, my wife is one of the most emotionally mature people I've ever met and she has only cried a few times over the course of 14 years of marriage and additional years knowing each other very intimately, and each time in response to something very understandably traumatic. That's not because she's out of touch with her feelings; it's quite the opposite. She's so in touch with her feelings that she knows to think positively and productively as one of the most cheerful and positive people I've ever met. People who constantly turn into a ball of mush and conflate that with being more in touch with their emotions are, in my opinion, conflating their tendency to be controlled by their emotions with being in touch with them.

[Rhizomorph]

Honestly: it is so refreshing when a guy is emotionally intelligent/available but I’ve noticed that those kind of guys have their own sensitivity’s (and there’s nothing wrong w/ that at all but sometimes they can be a little too unhinged like a girl w/ their emotions and for me that’s something I’ve found that sort of turns me off to emotional guys which is kind of a fucked up bias ik but🤷🏻‍♀️)


Although: being w/ someone who is emotionally anorexic/unavailable is frustrating/painful sort of miserable.


I can’t speak for all women though since this is just my own personal opinion.



All in all: everyone just wants to be w/ someone who can understand/accept their emotions/hear them w/you and provide you comfort and safety to express those. Reconsider your parter if you don’t feel they give any of that

[ShadowGirl7]

I like a guy that is sensitive. before I got to know the guy that is now my boyfriend, he seemed like he was untouchable. but I fell almost as soon as I heard his voice gentle, when he opened up. the first time I truly thought and felt the words "I love you" was when I first saw him cry. when a guy is open about his emotions, it shows trust, especially if he's a "tough guy" and doesn't talk about those things with anyone. it makes a girl feel important, loved, and like she matters. at least, that's how it is for me.

[MemeSupreme]

100% we do and when we say we like emotionally availability... dudes interpret it wrong

being in touch with your feelings means like being aware of them, so you can communicate an issue in your life or our relationship AND work on it. like its about showing effort into making us work like you got the energy for it. it's not about crying in front of me bc mufasa died, being clingy, or like spilling your darkest secrets lol

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Lol, makes sense

[AaronKrieger]

In my experience, they do depending on the reason and frequency. Also, it can VERY much strengthen the relationship or be a wholesome moment to appreciate.

They like men to be emotionally healthy and open - not unstable. Of course not all women do, but most do in my opinion.

[Lionman95]

I´d say yes but with the twist that it´s about the feelings that concern the woman. Like women want a guy to tell them how he loves them and what he sees in them but they are from my experience less interested in the frustration and anger he has at his job.

It´s also not about crying about being invested in the relationship.

[ChicoFromThe305]

They Don't, you give enough attention and they start to believe it's out of desperateness and they lose interest, happens to me a lot more than y'all think, I simply just don't play all that making people wait game when I'm available to respond, I have noticed this is only something clingy women don't give a shit about, I guess that's why I click with then so well 🤷🏽‍♂️

[ChicoFromThe305]

Them*

[aceleon]

CLİNGY WOMANS ARE THE BEST no matter what anyone says.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep did to lol

[robhazelnut]

I would guess that most women would, when it is understood as I write below.

Speaking directly: Emotions are messengers, rather than commanders. Silencing a messenger is foolish, as is letting them take command. To be in touch with one's emotions means not treating them as problems or locking them up, though also not letting them control what you say or do, which is also them being disconnected from oneself.

[TenderFantasy]

Yeah, one of my exes was like that. It was flattering to see because it means he wasn't hiding his feelings and it showed his sensitive side. He wasn't afraid of what people were going to think of him as a "Man" who cried". That's one of the reasons I fell for him definitely, and my empathetic, compassionate side definitely kicked in those times.

[aceleon]

you do realize that he is an ex right? i don't know what reason you broke up but let me tell you, compassion is not something a guy should kick inside you, it should be little kids, animals, people who are in need and old people not your MAN.

[TenderFantasy]

@aceleon And why not? ! He was a person in need and he was hurting because I was breaking up with him those many years ago. WHY should I have empathy for children or people I don't really know? ! That doesn't make sense! Maybe yeah, children are innocent blah blah but so was my ex. His only "crime" at the time was lending his heart to me and falling for me. I don't see how that shouldn't entice empathy and compassion in someone. If you don't have that when you see someone that is clearly suffering in one way or another, then something is definitely/seriously majorly wrong with you.

And yes of course I know he's an ex lol. duh. BUT, it doesn't not negate anything. If I see someone suffering or in pain (ESPECIALLY if I had something to do with it), of course I'm gonna feel bad and will try to help! It's one of the reasons I stayed in the relationship longer than I had planned to. I knew at my core I didn't want to accept his past divorce and baby (I just couldn't since I never had that and I wanted only to experience it with someone who's never experienced that before as well!), so eventually yeah we DID break up. But at that moment, when he expressed sadness and disappointment, I wanted to hug him and take him back!

[HawkPerception]

I believe women will always give that advice to men... to be more emotional and that they're attracted to a man that's not afraid to show emotion. However, those same women always seem to be subconsciously turned off when they see a man cry. They want a man to be their rock. They're okay if he has moments of weakness for extreme scenarios occasionally, like if a loved one dies. But to cry often for little things like girls do... they would rather not date a girl like themselves.

[aceleon]

because accepting your emotions is not loosing against them.
they want the emotions but if they make you weak, vulnerable and unmanly of course they don'T want it, you are not their child you are their man.

[VikingWarLord]

This is how dudes get friend zoned and/or cheated on REAL QUICK

and for good reason! No dude should be this in touch with his feelings, wtf

[LazerBean]

Yes. Being in touch with your emotions means you understand them, why they happen, and how to appropriately handle them. It does not mean being emotionally reactive or unstable, which seems to be what the whining men here think it is.

[Steelcore5280]

I've done that vulnerability thing and tried being emotionally intelligent with women in the same ways yours talking about. Every fucking time, it would end up in her weaponizing things I've told her or I find out she told her friends about confidential shit she promised to keep between us. Being emotionally vulnerable to y'all is the moment the relationship dies.

[LazerBean]

Part of being emotionally intelligent is being intelligent about you you are vulnerable with. So no, what you described is not emotional intelligence.

[Steelcore5280]

Gotta love how y'all ladies switch up the definition every couple of years just so you're correct. I regret even bothering to waste my time talking to you in the first place.

[LazerBean]

Stay mad, femboy.

[LazerBean]

Oh wait you already blocked me. Bc that what emotionally unstable people do.

[HaveNoName]

Because when educated and professional women feel they do not have to depend on the man as the breadwinner and the only source of food and a home, they have a lack of tolerance for any crap. Sometimes crap, sometimes anything less than expectations.

[Steelcore5280]

The minute you show your emotionally vulnerable side is the day your relationship is doomed to fail. NEVER show your vulnerable side to a woman. It never goes well.

[Asker]

So men can never show emotion...like ever?

[TenderFantasy]

Please don't say that because that's definitely not true. It was one of the very reasons I fell for my ex and the relationship lasted longer than it needed to even though he had red flags and deal breakers but I stayed with him partly because I felt sorry! Yeah, it was a long time ago but that should show you it's NEVER a bad thing to become vulnerable with those you love and care about!

[aceleon]

only exception should be if there is a life or death situation or something that happens so rarely, like almost nothing can make me cry but whenever i see the end scene of bambi or the death of mufasa from lion king i cry, and because something like this happens so rarely with me it doesn't put girls off, they go like it probably has a big meaning for him or such thing.

[Steelcore5280]

@TenderFantasy, in all of my relationships I've ever had that really developed into relationships, the moment I decided to show my more vulnerable side and be more "emotionally intelligent" to them, one of two things would happen: they'd either later on weaponize the things I told them, or they'd become cold and distant and not respect me anymore. I have learned the hard way that if you EVER show your emotional side to a woman, that you're a dumbass for doing so and that hopefully you learned not to do so again. It's better to reveal anything that's bothering you and your issues to your fellow guys, and never do it with the woman you're with. It ALWAYS ends up going wrong.

[TenderFantasy]

@Steelcore5280 Then that just means you've been with immature, cold hearted women. I am NOT like that and I'd appreciate it if women weren't all lumped with the same paint brush! You've had your cruel experiences and that is what has shaped your view with regards to a man that cries or lets their vulnerable side come out. At the end of the day, I cannot convince you to be a more NORMAL human being with feelings. The things I have told you really DID happen. I ended up staying with him longer even though I knew deep down we weren't not fundamentally compatible. I guess again, like a lot of people here, they are going to be IMMATURE and CLOSED MINDED and STUBBORN about it. So yeah, you do you. I can't convince you NOT to be immature and closed off.

[aceleon]

absolutly, your vulnerability should be something you only show to your family or bros not to girls who first looks at you as a man and not human.

[TenderFantasy]

@aceleon Again with the men vs. women. How very sad. No trust anymore.

[aceleon]

@TenderFantasy trust is not something given, it is earned and woman of this generations only gives us reasons to not trust them and not any single reason to trust them at all.

[TenderFantasy]

@aceleon I am not saying to give away all your secrets at the first meeting. I am saying to just be you when you go out on dates. You may be pleasantly surprised about what you'll find out that things aren't THAT bad, but yeah, I understand that trust is earned in the general sense. You don't trust your mechanic to do surgery on you. All I am saying is that if you're in a relationship with someone (not just a date or is with a stranger), you CAN be vulnerable. That's part of what a relationship is about, the emotional connection and the vulnerability. You've HAD to trust them even somewhat, to be in a relationship with someone. That's all I am saying. Just be yourself. If they like you for it, then well and good, if not. At least you'll know sooner rather than later.

[Steelcore5280]

@TenderFantasy, the best thing and most mature way I could handle my issues and problems is by discussing it with my best friend, who also shares certain stuff with me that he never tells his wife. Women expect men to be unfazable leaders who don't blink when adversity slaps them in the face. Many men I know, as well as myself, have had these experiences and learned the hard way to be more emotionally stoic. So no, I don't wanna share my emotional side with potential partners.

[TenderFantasy]

" So no, I don't wanna share my emotional side with potential partners." Then you will have trust issues because your partner IS supposed to be your best friend too in a sense. That's what being emotionally vulnerable is about. If you come off as being stoic to your partner, she'll think that you don't care or don't care enough. She'll think of that as a red flag to your an uncaring jerk to be honest. Your relationship will suffer because of it. You can't always hang out or see your best guy friend whenever, sometimes he has other things going on with his wife like you said. If you don't trust your partner in that they won't judge you or will think negatively of you if you do this or do that, then what kind of relationship is that? Not a lasting one that's for sure. If you're not vulnerable, then she'll take the clue that she cannot be emotionally vulnerable with you either and it will eventually fester or accumulate and may be a reason for the break up.

[aceleon]

@TenderFantasy well then lucky for me
1- i never had any interest in relationships and rahter not have one for the rest of my life, not my thing an exclusive fuck buddy would be the ideal thing for me.
2-i have no vulnerability, everything i went through only made me stronger and better so aside from my pride and short temper (and some kind of compassion in some circumstances) my skin is inpenetrateable, i have nothing aside from this 3 things and my fear of heights i could be taken advantage of.

[aceleon]

@TenderFantasy also just for adding, i WİLL ALWAYS HAVE trust issues, i am a god damn ocd sufferer, i have no trust even in myself, confidence maybe but no trust for my reactions.

[SolitarySolace]

Women will always use an emotional man to her own benefit and to his detriment.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Nope. 100% nope. The cost is too high for them.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/wMUcdplGEXc

[The_Sexpert]

Thanks for the A2A

We were always taught to never show our emotions to a woman

Because not only some women might consider us to be a weak man, but we also don't wish to share our pain... pain is not meant to be shared

[bobalife]

Not sure why many men doubt this, but any mature women would love emotionally mature and supportive men. I sure appreciate someone who’s emotionally aware and expressive.

[Steelcore5280]

That's a load of bullshit 🤣🤣🤣

[bobalife]

Well if that’s what you wanna believe, best of luck being pessimistic about women

[getwiththepg]

No. Opening up to a woman no matter how hard she pleads for you to do it is a horrible idea. They want a Kratos-type stoic character that doesn’t laugh or smile lmao

[aceleon]

no you can laugh but if you are charming, look and sound hot when you laugh, think about it, most girls finds smirking movie characters like damon, klaus, tyler durden (or even kovu from lion king that literally is an animational lion) hot.

[aceleon]

it is all about edge

[RavVid]

Women don't like men to have feelings. If men had a single feeling, it wouldn't leave enough room for her feelings

[DaBiggestBird]

Of course, any normal person finds emotional intelligence an attractive trait.

[Apple1996]

I love when men are vulnerable and aren't scared to show their emotions

[Steelcore5280]

Why, so you can use it as ammunition in your next argument with him when you think you're losing the argument? So you have something in your back pocket you can use as a plan B with shit goes south for you? Because most women I've met eventually use a man's vulnerabilities as a weapon against him when she thinks she's in a losing battle.

[Apple1996]

@Steelcore5280 I don't fight with my man to often tbh so no I just like for everyone to feel comfortable enough to express their feelings and not feel judged around me

[Anonymous]

Women SAY want a man who is truly in touch with his feelings, BUT when they are in a relationship with one it turns them off, they want men to act like men not women.