My ex fiancé’s new girlfriend looks a lot like me. I was his first girlfriend and his first woman. Did I leave a pattern in him?
She even has a broken nose like me. Same face shape like me and kind of looks similar to me.
I wonder if he got attracted to her because she looked a bit similar to me.
I developed my type by my experiences with women, how they made me feel, how I felt about them, how they were as a person. Story about how I developed mine.
The looks. Growing up I always had this type. Goes all the way back when I was 9 but fast forward 14 years old. First girlfriend, she was my height, short hair, not like the popular girls who constantly had an attitude. She didn't dress that girly, jeans, hoodie, short hair, no make up. On the side I had a close friend who was a girl who was interested in the same things as me, was a walking sunshine and big words, and... big words but I still think it's true, Goodness on Earth itself.
Fast forward 16 years old. New school, we all gather for the speech of the head principal. I see this girl, some simple plain T, some jeans, short hair, a kind smile, tall. Checked all the boxes of my ex, but curvier, in all the right places (which I didn't care about yet but) I was like "WHO IS SHE?". Turns out this lady was... one of our teachers, I was dying on the inside. She was kind and a good teacher too, so the image wasn't ruined, the type persevered! Now her body type... Slim waist, but those hips and those thighs and of course Dat Ass.
Now I didn't care about that at the time, but I've never seen an ass so big and round. Heartshaped, but BIG. In all honesty, I was just surprised, in awe because I haven't seen that before, like not that. She never dressed revealing, like I said previously, just casually dressed. But it was just in your face whether you wanted to look at it or not. And slowly but surely my brain went from shocked by it to appreciating it.
So now my type is now fully developed and this brings me to my current relationship. When I saw her sit there. Open your palms, keep them vertically up, parallel. You go down the waist, it gets slightly slimmer, you arrive at the hips, and suddenly your hands go "Oh, bye I'll see you later!" leaving the whole parellel formation because she was Dat Thicc. She's also a tall woman. Dressed pretty casual. Little make up to be seen. Turns out she's also just as kind hearted as that teacher, as my ex, as my close friend. Turns out she's also into the same things I am. She checked all the boxes. And it took a while but I gathered the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend and luckily she said yes.
It is common for people to have preferences or attraction to certain physical characteristics in romantic partners. While it is possible that your ex-fiancé may have been influenced by his past relationship with you in terms of his preferences, it is important to remember that individuals are unique and have their own individual attractions and desires.
It is possible that your ex-fiancé's new girlfriend bears a resemblance to you in some ways, which may have initially caught his attention. However, it is also important to consider that attraction is based on a combination of physical, emotional, and personal characteristics, and the similarities may just be a coincidence.
It is natural to feel curious or even a bit uncomfortable seeing similarities between yourself and your ex's new partner. It may be helpful to focus on your own personal growth and moving forward from the past relationship, rather than dwelling on the reasons behind his attraction to someone who resembles you. Everyone deserves to be with someone who values and appreciates them for who they are as individuals.
Well all men are different and they handle things in life differently including dating, marriage, etc.
I feel that how they develop their "type" if they even have one stems from not only their early experiences (before puberty but even after it), the MEDIA (this has a VERY BIG influence because let's face it, both men and women CARE about how they look in front of their family members and if they brought home someone that their family approved of, it would be a lot better for them and they could rest easy about the relationship. At least easier than if their woman and his family were at odds with each other). And yes, lastly, I agree that past relationship and dating experiences can also shape the type of woman they eventually end up marrying. Wether it's because they DON'T want to be reminded and do not like the type of women they dated in the past, OR could be that they are trying to replace lost love because they were rejected by that first love or intense love or THEY left the love and now regret it. So yeah, it really varies from person to person, but generally it's:
I think we all have certain faces we like and don't like. But sometimes people will like certain features and perhaps they will go for similar looks to the other people they had previously dated. But when people like another person they could chose someone that looks totally different than their apparent "type".
Like when I was younger I used to be attracted to pale guys with black hair and blue eyes, probably because the first guy I thought was super sweet and had a crush on, looked like that. Now days my type is darker guys with brown eyes and hair. I am now more open to other looks and types. So you probably imprinted on him but it doesn't mean it will always stay that way.
Opinion
48Opinion
We, as humans, tend to like people who look like us, or like people we like.
You sound jealous... maybe a bit?
Nope, not at all.
I didn't develop a preference for certain things in women until I had had a number of girlfriends.
Could be cognitive psychology
Example: A man meets a skinny gal with almond eyes (SGAE). He's smitten, thinks about her a lot, and goes out with her. It doesn't work out for some reason.
He meets another SGAE and she reminds him of the first gal. He projects all the good memories and feelings of the first on to her, positively reinforcing this attraction, and he goes out with her too. It doesn't work.
Then, enter third SGAE who he's positively reinforced for being attracted to, and he's now smitten again.
Another starting point is to look into Freud's 1927 paper "Some Psychological Consequences of the Anatomical Distinction between the Sexes". It theorizes that heterosexual attraction is determined by the characteristics of one's opposite sex parent. (He has another for homosexuality)
We get cultural reinforcement on attraction based on various influences, from books, to movies, to icons, etc.
Maybe a guy has an attraction to women that remind him of Courtney Cox or Lucy Liu.
Another study that was published recently states that half of your preference is 'wiring' and the other half experience.
https://time.com/4057616/yes-you-really-do-have-a-type-science-says/
Interesting. I hear of that happening a lot. The little I can remember from high school (thanks TBI #1), I liked athletic women with long hair. I dated a lifeguard. In college I dated a dancer (no an ACTUAL dancer) and a couple martial artists. Then I joined the military and ever since then probably 80% of the people that made it past the casual dating stage were vets or active duty. Point is, I don't know if I ever "developed" a taste, because as long as I can remember it was there
I was surprised when I saw that pic, same chin same face shape, same nose, similar eyes even, similar warm look in the eyes that I have.
I feel like I gave him a type, before me he hasn’t had a girlfriend.
He may not have had a girlfriend... but there are still women he found attractive.
Just felt weird to see she looks so much similar to me - that’s all.
Familiarity is a factor in my mind. I mean I have a sexual history with every race I can think of, but if you could see it on a timeline, you'd notice my first choice is some kind of Asian... as in Filipina, Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Korean types of Asians... and I've banged a lot in each category. I've banged some white, black, Mexican and so on but I did develop a preference that's noticeable.
And I don't think that preference is based on their race... I just don't like fat chicks. I also prefer them short. If you think about it, what groups are I'm more likely to just happen to find short and skinny? My first baby's Mama is white for instance, but she is a model for instance. My first long-term girlfriend was Mexican, but not the fat kind.
Mix that up with being sent all over the world... bam... a pattern.
Genetics too I think... if I was to turn brown/tan... I'd look like an extremely hairy and muscular Asian. Like Bruce Lee with more muscle mass and a giant dick. 😂 Only 5'10" as well, so it's not like I really slide up the these really tall chicks all the time.
I am not sure for men as a whole, but here is what caused mine:
- My influences/interests growing up. For example, I grew up on rock and horror movies as a child, so I have a type for edgy rocker chicks.
- Personality wise, I somehow always end up being into people similar to my mother (hardworking, sarcastic, & traumatic childhood).
- My past relationships and seeing what worked, but all of them rub off on you in some kind of way for better or worse.
Anything else would be just due to how I was born and likely many small factors that I am unaware of.
I’m here for the comments 🤭
I’d think that each person has their own preferences by what they usually find attractive in different areas and of course by the people they have experience with in their previous relationships. I’m sure it’s unpleasant or uncomfortable seeing an ex’s next person resembling you, but just continue to grow & focus being the best version of yourself, chin up, and don’t mind him.
It's just who you mesh with, personality wise, and who you're attracted to. Perhaps some of that is rooted in past experience. Among men who are only looking to get laid, perhaps it's just that they sunk all their time into targetting a particular type of woman for that kind of manipulation... It's the same kind of answers you'd get if you asked yourself the same questions. I for instance have a particular attraction to maternal women ~40-45 years old, but that stems from unmet childhood needs merging with my sexual needs during puberty, which is something I've learned to separate so that I deal with my 'mommy' needs internally instead of unconsciously putting that on someone else. Psychology is weird. I quite like dominant women, but they're not really good for me.
I know I sure have one. It was so well known in my social circle that my friends could peg my type and describe them to a “T”.
Petite. Dark hair. Hourglass shape. Busty. Usually Latina but some other types caught my eye occasionally.
In the end, however, personality matters most and even the most beautiful woman could be instantly unattractive if she had an ugly heart. Example: I once walked out on a first date when she ridiculed the waitress who approached our table in a way that actually shocked me and was quite cruel. I left her $20 for the taxi and excused myself.
As far as the “how”, which I failed to answer - it’s just what I find to be the most attractive combination of attributes in a woman. Enough so that it’s really all that catches my eye.
I think it's a mix of exposure and your own thought process. I've noticed that what people find attractive seems to be heavily influenced by where they were raised. I've seen in Trinidad & Tobago, their models that they had on posters had very round and soft features, which I wasn't into at all. I was raised in an Italian neighborhood and I grew attracted mainly to white girls and latina girls that have similar facial structures. Then I got addicted to Pinterest and my love for nature and natural aesthetic drew me to boho fashion, which I've been obsessed about for many years now. Now that's my type of girl... boho with European or Latina features. And most of it is just due to exposure and my own way of thinking. It's different for every guy.
My best friend's sister was married for a short while with this one guy that I felt was way out of her league in the looks department. Eventually they divorced and went their separate ways. A few years later I bumped into him at a toy store with his latest wife. She had the exact same goofy features my friend's sister had. Could have passed for her sister to be honest.
There's a thing he had for girls with large lips, large noses, and big foreheads that drove this man crazy.
My two cents is that just like some men might like big boobs or prefer small butts, there are men (and women) that have a thing for certain facial features.
I want to be a girl who is European, I don't care if she is single mom, older than me or younger, divorced, widow , orphan, a cleaner, or from gypsy family as long as she is beautiful , can have children with me (&adopt white children) as long as she is loyal. I will raise the family with her and give her loyalty and take care of the family and keep to my goals which include family, wealth, heirloom, and security.
I don't want to deal with girls from my country anymore. I fooled myself into thinking people who looked beautiful to me will be bad for me.
Yea past girls wether girlfriend or crushes affect us. Another thing that can affect us is any important girl in our life period, if you affected him positively anyway you will be drown to similar girls in the future.
Maybe you did but most guys have there preferences like "burned" into there mind those certain attibutes are what he is attracted to imagine if every guy was attracted to all the same attributes how things would be so diffrent like i have a big nose and this girl i dated was into that as weird as it may be
Happens over time maybe.. We look like what we most liked in the last person we were with, or maybe even a crush, and try to look for those attributes in the next person.. Maybe it builds up over time, or maybe the like for those certain attitudes were so strong that they look for them for years on end..
I always say I don't have a type, and physically for the most part I don't, but personality wise I vaguely do.
I think it's early childhood exposure and also expose you as young adolescents to others who are deemed to be beautiful and sexy.
Felt weird…
Nothing. Forgot what I was talking about.
"She even has a broken nose like me. "
You weren't the one to do that now were you? :o :p
m my type is smart, interesting and funny...
physically/looks wise... I do not have a type
My type is "not-obese adult female." But I do see guys who ALWAYS date the same type. One always dates dark-haired light-eyed (blue or green) girls. He had a crush on his second grade teacher and she had those traits, so maybe it started there.
People are attracted to people who look like them
People are attracted to people who look like them.
I found a girl that looked like my ex. She just had brown hair instead of blonde. I think everyone goes for a certain body type so it's not unusual
It depends on the person, everyone is different. I am attracted to all beautiful girls/ women in the world, black, brown and white. I am more attracted to females from other races who look different from Indians. I am extremely attracted to white girls and women. I am completely turned on by white blonde girls/ women. I don't like to date girls/ women who look like my mom, sisters, aunts, etc.
So my preference is white blonde girl for serious dating leading to wedding.
when I was a teenager my first crush was on my moms best friend. She was short, blonde and busty. I've been on a few dates with different woman, but everytime I see a short, busty blonde I still get an instant hard on.
Maybe. But she probably acts better than you, has a better attitude and submits better. No offense to you, but that’s how men work. I don’t think it’s flattery to be like yeah, he basically replaced me with someone similar to me. If that were true, he wanted you.. but you weren’t what he expected you failed to meet his expectations and so he tried again. That means you need to reevaluate yourself
Silly, we broke up because of distance, he was calling me and telling me he would always regret losing me and I would be his last thought on a deathbed, even when he was with that girl already…
He even called me month ago.
And he was already with that girl when he told me, that I would always be the love of his life 😝
Then why isn’t he moving to you. Pining at your door begging for forgiveness and making it work then? Men will tell you all sorts of foolishness.. but actions speak louder than words. He has another gf… he is just stringing you along because two is better than one. Bet his new girl doesn’t even know he is talking to you behind her back.
You believe that? lol he knows how to play heart strings. Again, if he really felt that way, he would have done everything to make it work, including not getting another girlfriend.. but he is playing both sides. Clever dude. Not fair to you or the other chick
He did everything that he could. We broke up because we both fell out of love due to distance. We sat down and decided to break up together…
After many months of trying to make it work.
He knows he will never see me again. I was just wondering about the resemblance in appearance because I came across the pic on my feed.
Also, that girl had like 3 relationships before him and it’s no wonder she was more experienced, I only had 1 and maybe I made some mistakes. At least, he was my first and I was learning, he hasn’t been my 4th one.
I would argue you were never “in love” in the first place. Because again, if it was true love you would still be together and make it work. Fell out of love? Love is a conscious choice everyday to do it regardless of distance, feeling, circumstance, whatever. True love withstands it all. You fell out of the excitement that it was to be “together” in the first place. Nothing wrong with that but we got to call a spade a spade…
If he will never see you again, why does he keep contacting you? What did you do to make it work? How long were you seeing each other? Was it strictly online/phone?
Only people with mental health issues develop obsessions. I’ve been with around 50 women in my life and none of them look even remotely similar.
I doubt it's you. It's probably a woman that impressed him when he was a child. relative, teacher, icon, etc..
it's possible though what you said...
For me, it was just recognizing a pattern with who I generally found appealing and who was also reciprocating my affections. Who was being kind to me. Who I was developing positive memories with.
m Positive experiences with that certain type and less-than-positive experiences with another certain type.
I can't tell you cuz I've never had a type. I don't understand how people develop them so I'll be interested to read these comment
It's more likely that he dated you BECAUSE you were "his type" to begin with, rather than you imprinting him. That would explain why his girlfriend's after you had similar features.
My ex after we split up he went with someone totally opposite of me. I'm tiny she was huge i have blonde hair hers was black but after they split up his new girlfriend now looks alike like me.
You see something that makes you feel good. Combination of innate preference and conditioning via experiences.
I notice women pay more attention to their bf’s exes (or sometimes their exes new partners) then vice versa.
I do that I get horny as being. Jealous
I had been a gym rat most of my life and just gravitated to girls that like to workout.
Don't ask me. I got no type. I like what I like.
I always wondered that. My type is very different from my brothers'.
Maybe is still love you so he just find one like you
Or is his type of woman 🤔
Possibly We I think it depends on his age (phase) also certain traits could also influence physically is involved sorry couldn’t be more specific
When I started liking girls I just knew what type I liked and I still do.
I think first love has a LOT to do with it. I'm pretty sure my first girlfriend established my "type."
Honestly we all get “types” we’re attracted to based on childhood experiences.
Have you considered therapy to help you overcome this breakup?
I believe it's the media that controls it!😁
Psychological Imprinting isn't as hard as it sounds, especially if Hormones are involved.
He got attracted to her because she treats him better
No it's a preference. We all have preferences.
Why are u stalking your ex? And no she doesn't look like u. U need to move on
You have a broken nose?
Yes, broke in childhood, my fat classmate hit me.
Hahah, how does that make me a bad ass?
Yeah, preferences, I guess, because his photo was shown on my news feed and there were a lot of girls and I instantly thought one girl looked a lot similar to me and she ended up being his new girlfriend, he got into a relationship with her after me.
Too much of a similarity for it to be a coincidence.
She did it accidentally, was aiming something else and I ended up being in the way, so I didn’t hit her back.
But I stuck it up, I almost had sparkles out of my eyes, it hurt so much, I didn’t cry or anything, went to the doctor alone and asked her to let me go home. Walked 1 km home with a red swollen nose and when my mom opened a door and saw me she screamed “What happened to your beautiful nose?”
She said I would be crooked from now on, to which I answered
“Come on, mom, it will go away in a week.”
It didn’t go away lol
🤣🤣
My nose was very pretty, so It gave me some insecurities, but I still ended up being somewhat charming even with a broken nose, so have no complaints.
My genes though are far better than my actual nose.
She does look obviously similar to me though 😛
I was 10 when it happened.
Oh sorry 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I meant “suck it up” 🤣🤣🤣
160 cm, why?
I think it is 5’25? Not sure.
Great, that’s how we measure height in Europe - in centimeters
Also, I don’t like my broken nose, so I don’t put up pics that accentuate it. Here in China though- They love it. People stop me and tell me how beautiful my nose is 😄😄😄
It is broken, one of my nostril is almost not carrying air, maybe just 25%. I am going to do the surgery for that, because when I get older it might not be good - to not be able to get enough air. So, I’ll also have the looks of it fixed. Already had a surgery booked last year, but got delayed because of my leg.
But people don’t think it looks broken, they say it fits my face well. I spent 17 years of my life with this nose and never had it stopped people from liking me, but I can only imagine, it would be much prettier had it not be broken.
My parents barely had money to provide us with food, not to mention the surgery… So, I don’t blame them, it’s my job to do it and I have been wanting it forever but I kind of feel nostalgic about it, I am scared of it, It will change my face a lot, and my life will be a bit different.
I think breaking this nose humbled me back then, because people were always telling me, I was so beautiful and so on and after breaking a nose, it kind of helped me be develop my personality rather than rely on my looks.
But the confidence I had in my early years of life, when I was always stopped and praised for being beautiful, that confidence stuck with me all my life.
Before I broke it, I was often compared to Isabelle Adjani 
Breaking it gave me a bit more rough look. But I have been still quite likeable. I am just so curious what I would look like if I hadn’t broken it.
lol, you got me started about my nose. I will stop now or I will talk about it forever 🤣
I suppose it is possible!
Who broke your nose?
Yes, it is just chance
Experience
Why do you even care? 🤔
😂😂😂
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