I'm seeing someone i have very strong feelings for but am haunted by the fact that i'm not his type. I've known him for most of my life and he's always been most attracted to fair skinned and light haired women, while i have dark hair and olive skin. Is this something i should be as worried about as I am?
Not at all. I like red and black hair and green eyes, but I've only ever been involved with one red head, and it was a disaster. Most of the woman I've actually ended up having crushes on didn't meet any of the criteria I just described. Preference isn't necessarily appearance based. I'd rather be with a 5 that treats me well than a 10 that doesn't.
Appearance is mostly secondary for people who are actively looking for real relationships and also just because men have a preference doesn't mean they can't find woman that don't meet that preference attractive. A 10 is basically still a 10 even if they don't match your personal tastes. Also, there's the ex-factor that sometimes when you have a strong connection with you appreciate their beauty more even outside of their preferences.
And also, yes sometimes preference can change as well and normally it happens when you have a deep connection. Something I'd also add is this is probably a good sign because the fact the fact you're dating even though you don't meet his preferences means he must feel the connection goes deeper than looks. That indicates he's a decent guy who respects you and is emotionally invested in the relationship.
This resonates because he's said that he feels like he finds me very attractive regardless of his type since he feels my beauty is objectively a 10. And I have felt that since we started seeing each other he's been more and more attracted to me, can't keep his hands off me now.
But then I guess I want to know, if you were with someone that you have a deep emotional connection to, and find them attractive despite them not being what you're usually into, as a man would you be satisfied with that person? could you see that person being enough for the foreseeable future?
Like with anything, depends on the man. Some men basically remain the same throughout their entire life with almost no change, while other men become almost unrecognizable. And this applies to a man's type as well.
For me, I don't know if I would say my type changed per se, but when I was in like elementary school I only liked White girls (yes, I already liked girls at such a young age, lol). Probably due to my parents being somewhat racist. But elementary school was so long ago it doesn't even matter, lol. Nowadays I just like women of all races and/or skin colors.
Either way, for your situation, if he can't accept you as you are then he doesn't deserve you. Not everyone is compatible with each other, no matter how strong your love for him may be.
This main issue is not about what YOU think his type is, or who you've seen him date in the past. The main issue is has this man shown any romantic interest in you?
If he hasn't, you're wasting your time. Might have to do with his "type" but may also have to do with who you are. Your personality may not be attractive to him. You've known this guy for years, haven't you? If it hasn't happened in all this time, why do you suddenly think it will?
Unless you've been getting interest from him, forget about this one-sided affair. You're not on his radar. Find someone who sees you. Good luck.
I think that if you’re seeing someone then it’s safe to assume you’re their type in one way or another. Maybe you should be asking yourself if something about how he treats you makes you feel inadequate or insecure to the point that you don’t even feel like his type.
It's nothing he's doing. Its just my insecurity having known him for so many years and heard over and over what his type is. he's been attracted to women who aren't that type, but theyre the exception to the rule.
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Yes his "type" can change and very likely will.
But really, his type doesn't matter. We use the word "chemistry" for that "something" that attracts us to someone. We can't say exactly what is is about them, but when we are attracted to someone. our type and preferences go out the window.
"Is this something i should be as worried about as I am?"
No
"i have very strong feelings "
This is what matters. Just don't let it blind you. But type doesn't matter. Both men and women have a type - until they fall in love.
Ooo! Good question from left field!
I have to say this is really a personal thing. My 'types' have changed for sure. In my teens and 20s it was black silky, athletic build, med height, and intellectually challenging. Then later moved to blonde and bubbly, as in friendly and overtly social, with a *bit* more curve (not badonkadonk, JitT, or kardashianesque). Now I am into petite, olive skin and long hair and prone to goofy.
Many men, for example, Trump, have a fairly consistent type. In his case being blonde, tall, and intelligent. Though at one point he was in a relationship with a black woman and is now married to a brunette.
Go for it, and make that guy 'see the light'!
Some have one type, some have many. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
For me, it did happen more than once, but it's not something that happened overnight. It's the result of years of interractions, experiences and memories, good or bad.
Even so, I think that one never strays too far away from some sort of a type. Some things may vary (hair color, eyes color, skin color, height and so forth), but we're all looking for the specific je ne sais quoi which, for all of us, ties all of these different types together in the end.
Men don’t box their type into a small category
Contrary to what many think
He can be into all kinds of women
And if he’s choosing to go out with you now after having known you forever chances are he was into you from day one
Because yes, men and women are never just friends.
I feel like I say this 10 times a day on this app
Can relate. My current boyfriend usually goes for older East Asian women (he’s part Asian). I’m the first younger woman he’s ever been with and I’m not East Asian. I felt insecure for the longest time because he still find East Asian women to be attractive and they’d still catch his attention sometimes. But he said preferences CAN change as you grow older and learn more about what you like.
You might not be his type before you met but there is something about you that caught his eyes and caused him to change his preferences. You are now his type!
Don't be worried about it. Either the spark is there or it isn't. I heard an Alex Hormozi video that made a really good point about this. Alex said that if you think about it, meeting and dating someone who isn't your type is probably a good sign, because you've never successfully dated or married your type. So the fact you're now trying to date someone who isn't your type must mean that you've learned your type isn't compatible long term.
Sometimes people change : sometimes they don't. Or sometimes they revert.
No wonder relationships and lovemaking and commitment are all complex - and tricky to hold. Aka "what if I get married and 20 and decide by 30 I want a divorce* aka "I changed" lol
Very tricky is love lol 💕😘 and navigating
I can't speak for every guy but, I don't have a type. Beauty and a great person can arrive in all sorts of packaging. I still am shocked when some random woman unleashes attraction for me. I wasn't "looking for" her type. She just showed up and BOOM, instant attraction. Next time it could be a woman with a completely different look.
you not being "his type" doesn't mean he's not attracted to you. men can be attracted to people who aren't usually their type. i highly suggest not waiting around and being stuck in your own head. ask him out or tell him about your feelings to get clarity. the more time you waste thinking about it, the worse a possible rejection will feel. it's like band aids. better to rip off quickly than slowly.
I was once attracted to a man who preferred your tone to mine. I was so hurt. He liked darker women with dark hair. I am a paleface (I've been called pink). But he was a one sided crush of mine.
Honestly, I say what is inside a person is what counts more than what's on the outside. So if he is checking off based on skin alone, then check him off if you can find the courage to do so and find someone who likes you for the way you are.
Type?
I'd say most just like cute/pretty girls who have a decent figure (not fat).
I may like redheads for example but I'm still attracted to women. I like blondes and brunettes too. I like curvy or petite, athletic, average. Almost any chest size.
"Type" usually isn't that big of deal.
No unless a virus changes his gene expression.
However most guys (myself included) have at least 100 physical types. They usually have common shape traits, but are lots of variants of a given general template.
You may be one of his preexisting types.
I think you should stop worrying. He's investing in YOU and HIS relationship by trying to keep it going at a distance. It is evident that appearance isn't something that he has fixed expectations of. It's how many men are that they may like the visage but it's the love they have for the person that is the W for them in the long term.
Yes we can and do. The Vin Diesel fire in our testicles from teens to 30 gives way to the milder, stable Family Man like Hugh Beaumont of them 60's. Look him up. We stop trying to measure up and start measuring up He may not hammer you every day but he will love you every day.
Depends on his mindset. For some it can be flexible and can change but not for others. Hence it is possible but it is unlikely that a man's type can change.
Most men are attracted to many different types. Like I've been with white girls, Asian girls, and black girls. All are super different, but I'm into them all, so... :-)
I literally had the same thing, I once dated a girl who definitely preferred dark-haired guys but l am blonde. I had literally the same thing, I once dated a girl who definitely preferred dark-haired guys. It didn't work out for us, but I don't think that's why we just had different personalities and we were interested in completely different things. I think that all the girls I was linked to either preferred dark-haired men or simply had no preference.
They change all the time because most men don't know what they want. Men will say they want one thing but turn around and go for the total opposite.
To clarify, do you mean that you’re not his usual type? I can’t speak for him/you, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised by partners who were outside whatever may have been my previous “type.”
Yes absolutely. You have to get near him. Do not go to the friendzone. Hint that you like him
Physically speaking there are multiple types I like. But personality is more complicated and it's also is the most important. I think love exists within how your personality and his personality works together.
Sure, he just needs to go to the Font menu and select a different font and/or type size and/or format (such as bold, italic, underline, et c.).
Guys typically don't have types. Just because he isn't attracted to you doesn't mean you aren't his type.
It might be flexible if she brings peace, is fun, and adores him. What I mean is I have witnessed guys who usually go for the "beauty queen" type end up marrying the Plain Jane who was a sweetheart.
I don't think so. Facial shape and body shape is what my type is. Skin color, hair color isn't a factor.
Yes. A guy can be attracted to a girl who is not usually his type and he can even fall in love with her.
yes. I used to be super into blonde haired blues eyes but now I'm into black haired green eyes
It is possible, someone's preferences aren't set in stone.
As we mature we start seeing value in women who perhaps aren't our youthful ideal.
SO the question is really, "can a male change the type of female he prefers?" .
Yes, he can.
Yea, for me all of a sudden in summer 2019, i noticed my type type is a natural pretty blonde white girl..
i always gotten along with blonde girls more too.
Well they say taste buds change every 7 years, so, I would imagine it can be the same with interests, butttt, we'd need a scientific experiment to check
It completely depends on the man. Generally, this doesn’t create a problem, but he shouldn’t make you feel insecure about it. Otherwise, whenever you see someone who’s his "type" while you’re together, you’ll end up feeling upset.
Types cam change at any time. Depends on the person.
Whether you're his type doesn't matter to him. It depends on how useful and fulfilling you are to his needs.
It might be more your personality vs looks, or he sees you as just a friend or worse as his sister.
Just dive in. It's what the rest of us do. Overanalysing has never gotten anyone anywhere.
I used to like goth chicks but they're really messed up. Now I like the sweet church girl type. More trustworthy and less likely to cheat
Did you have an actual conversation with him to tell him how you feel about this?
What did he say?
Some people have preference for a certain type but will actually date anyone.
Right but when men do that, are they satisfied witht he person theyre with?
Sure they can be.
Old preferences and reality are twp distinctly different things.
Yeah but as a woman I want to understand if that means the same thing for men that it does for us. If a man treats me well and makes me happy, my type will change and I will not feel like I'm settling being with him. But as a man, would you feel like a woman who isn't your typical type but treats you well is enough? would you not compare her to other women or question if you could've done better?
Lol guys type is generally just girls he's sexually attracted to.
Either he will likely you or he won't. It won’t have anything to do with, “type”.
Yes. Doesn't mean it will.
As you age women get older and fatter. If you don't accept older and fatter women you're probably going to have a small dating pool.
yeah, I dont prioritize big asses like I used to back in my teens and 20s.
When I was growing up I liked quiet nerdy girls, now I like tomboys.
Yes.
Well trump still like stormy with huge tits and skinny belly
All types of women out there I find attractive. There’s no one set type for me
As I get older my type gets younger or maybe it just seems that way.
Yes. Mine has changed multiple times over the years
No he doesn't like you stop trying to change a man. Accept the rejection and move on.
Be what you are, no one there who decide how you are, comes out from the zone of being a type of a women for a man.
Yes. I used to like bad white bitches and now I only like bad brown (or darker) bitches.
Maybe some men can change their type, but not all men.
Yes, my type has evolved over the years but I find women attractive for many reasons
Yes a guy's type can change but happens sporadically and very seldomly
Men don't have a preference they have boobs and butt. If you look good he will not care. This is how men think. Only women have preferences.
No. Lotsa types, not just one
A man can have more than one type.
Talk to him and find out maybe?
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