in my opinion i think it's sleezy. I like to make women feel special on dates.
As long as he doesn't make it a big deal I don't mind. I appreciate being paid for, but it's not necessary. For the same reason I would not want him to make a big deal about paying for me either. I want the date to be the important thing, not who pays for it.
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I wouldn’t mind just paying for my own stuff but then I think I’d feel more like I’m hanging out with a friend rather than on a date. I think that whomever pitched the idea of the date (i. e. asked the other person out) should be the one to pay.
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If I'm paying for myself, then it's clearly not a date.
If he asks me to pay for myself, it's definitely not a date, and a meet up probably isn't happening in the first place.
If I offer to pay for a date after the date is already happening, I don't like him and there will not be a second date.
If a man's not willing to invest in a woman who he's supposed to be wanting a relationship with, then he doesn't value her. He doesn't value her time, and he has no business being around her. There's a very good chance that he's just going to waste her time, play games, act ridiculous, and be out the door eventually anyways. 🙄
So, it makes the most sense for me to speed up that whole process by skipping the entire thing and going straight to a man who is worth my time and effort. Who also sees me as someone who is worth his time and resources.
I know this is a girls question, but as a male perspective on it I’d generally be averse to her paying 50/50 dollars on a date. Honestly, I’d probably interpret (or misinterpret) it as her trying to minimize my feeling like it was a date.
Also, I bring some more traditional, gentlemanly, male traits on a date: I’ll open every door you pass through, pull your chair out for you, I walk on the street side of the sidewalk, refill your wine glass without being asked, and dress the part.
I carry a lot of those traditional values into a relationship and regard us as having equal importance in the relationship but also different roles & responsibilities. I think dating is like a test-drive. We are assessing a person for their compatibility with us. If a woman was persistent on paying her way all the time and being too independent it would probably make me wonder if we are even compatible in the long term. I like the balance of knowing these are my roles and these are yours and while we support one another in those roles, they are ultimately our own responsibility. I think (despite society not wanting to admit it) the best and healthiest relationships do have some default into certain roles unique to men & women, respectively.If I may pitch in as a guy, it's a leader's responsibility to protect and provide for their followers. That's a gender-neutral thing; it's just the responsibility associated with proper leadership to take on this associated responsibility.
So if a man actually is the leader on a date, then I think he's failing his responsibility if he fails to pay for the date. Then he's needlessly spilling the costs of his own executive decisions on his follower.
Same if a woman is the leader on the date and doesn't pay for it. It's only on dates where there is no leader that it makes sense to me to split.
I always wanted to be the leader on the date. I ask the woman out on the date, I arrange the date, I decide where we go (if she voluntarily follows). I'd be a cheapskate given that I'm taking on the privilege of leading if I didn't take on the associated responsibility of paying for the date. I also protect her from harm's way, starting with little rituals like walking on the side of the curb with oncoming traffic so that, in the very unlikely event a car swerves off the road, it'll hit me and not her. That's all part of the associated responsibility of this type of leadership from my perspective: to protect and provide.
Honestly, I love when someone pays for me, because I'm broke half the time.
However, I would never pick anything off the menu I wouldn't be able to afford myself, because I would want to be able to pay for my own stuff if that's what my date wanted me to do.
Hell, I would probably even offer to pay for him if I am able to.
So no hard feelings on splitting the bill.
Although, if money really is tight, I'd just be honest about it and then suggest going somewhere that doesn't cost (a lot of) money.Hmm very interesting responses. I guess like much in life it is an individualistic choice and two people who are in agreement (he pay, she pay, 50/50, date asker pay, own pay) show a level of understanding eachothers thought processes and so a higher chance of compatibility?
That said... I always offer to go 50/50. But if the guy insists it does raise him up as a higher quality male. It makes me, the woman, feel special because if he was dating lots of women he maybe wouldn't want to be paying for them all. So either I am special if he is dating others. Or I am special because he is focused on me.
I apply this logic to first date by the way. I would expect to pay my way more with further dates...
I think it depends. It depends on who is leading, means who has chose the place or who is arranging that date it should be their responsibility. Next, it should be depending upon what kind relationship they are going to lead. Will man would be leader and provider in that relationship? In that case man should be paying. If that relationship would be about partnership and equal support then it must be half half or few dates man could pay in other few dates women should.
That’s sweet, not sure why many guys prefer 50/50, but I appreciate a man who pays for me because I feel like he’s being genuine about me and putting the effort to be a gentleman that he can be that partner to lead. I’m old fashion and loves this more when it comes to dating. I think I’d offer and also pay if I don’t see any potential. Or I can pay for some small things to be thoughtful.
I prefer 50/50, and if I personally ordered something rather expensive on the menu then I just pay for my own meal. I get really frustrated with women who act like it’s a crime to suggest they chip in.
I tried to go halfsies with my boyfriend on our last date this month and he declined. He wanted to pay for the whole date including the movies. I at least gave a large tip at dinner.
I think it's good to at least offer to go half.I would not date a man who do 50|50. I’m too old school. I’d rather go 50/50 with one of my friends.
50/50 isn't even a date in my opinion. Just two people out together at that point. A real date the man pays or at least plans it. I'd rather go on a free date than a date that he'd expect me to pay for.
Well, demanding your date pay half is one huge red flag. If someone is cheap on that level, he or she is probably lacking in many other areas as well.
i prefer it but i don't like ANYONE paying for my shit
if he offers i appreciate it tho like it's a green flagI have always paid for any date I asked a woman out on. I never expected her to pay any portion and would not let her if she offered. I never expected anything in return either. I'm my generation, sex came withba relationship not casually for a nice date. I know things have really changed but I'm still old fashioned and daring is intended to find a partner.
I think women mooching off of guys is sleazy.
I would go even further, and say that people should just pay for what they personally ordered.
Though tbh I don't see the point of going on dates, better to hang out at home with her and grow from friends into spouses.Whoever asks for the date should pay for it. And my advice to guys is to keep the first date cheap (coffee or a drink). This will let you qualify the girl to make sure she’s worth it or not.
Also for you ladies out there who ask a guy on date and then expect him to pay for it…. f you. Really. Don’t ever do that.If the guy pays I often felt like he was expecting something later (sex, blowjob etc.) and I was usually right
never been with any guy who wanted to pay 50/50
they always wanted to be the ones to pay
but personally I won't mind payingAs a longtime submissive beta male wimp who never gets laid, paying for every date in its entirety is the only redeeming quality available to me, which necessitates the woman keeping her pocketbook in her purse at all times.
I'd rather take myself on a date then. I do all the time.
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