Is it wrong to mention sex on a dating site?

[Anonymous]

I was talking to this girl on bumble and I asked her "what's your idea of a good relationship". One of her responses was " healthy sex life". I asked her "what do you consider a healthy sex life?" Then she stopped responding. Was I in the wrong for asking that?

Yes I was wrong

No I’m not in the wrong

[Anonymous]

In my experience there is only one way it can go right and a million ways it can go wrong when talking to a girl on a dating app about sex. Never bring it up first. If she brings it up first then be careful how you respond to it. Don’t run with it.

Unless you are a super model 10/10 looking guy then it all it takes is just one wrong comment and the girl will immediately shut down. Game over.

It also doesn’t matter if she misinterpreted the sexual comment or not. All that matters is how she “feels” about it. Perception about reality IS reality for people especially women and very especially online.

[ManOnFire]

Nah, you're not wrong at all. She was the one who mentioned sex and you just wanted her to elaborate on what her view was. She's the one who was wrong to just drop you like that, leaving you feeling like you did something you weren't supposed to. Some women try to control how sex is talked about or executed, but want to villainize you if you do it.

If she ever messages you back, don't respond.

[Alwayreckles93]

Run run away from herbshe isn't a devoted christian since she wants sex in dating. Ibet she isn't even baptist. No you want a good wife Go to a christian church that is the only place you will find a good wife at club and bars the only thing you will find is demonic woman chances are they must be witches.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Hey she's the one who mentioned it 😃

[AviatorTom]

You did nothing wrong in asking for further clarification. Your question may have hinted to her that you don't have a healthy sex life, which is what she may have been looking for.

Don't worry about it. There are plenty if other women on Bumble you can talk to.

[coachTanthony]

She didn't want to have to explain something that is so evident. You came across like you wanted sex talk with that question.

[ManOnFire]

His initial question was "what's your idea of a good relationship." It was not about sex whatsoever. She was the one who made mention of sex.

[coachTanthony]

He was prodding for sexual details though as if that needs to be explained on a dating app lol

[ManOnFire]

You could argue her reply of a healthy sex life didn't need to be made on a dating app either since neither even knows each other. I'm sure she was also well aware of saying anything about sex will likely get a guy trying to talk more.

[coachTanthony]

@ManOnFire Very possible.

[HawkPerception]

You were not in the wrong. She started with the topic of sex and you were just trying to understand her answer better. Don't fret man. From my experience, girls rarely ever continue conversations on dating apps. They last a few messages at most usually, and rarely you'll get one that's interested for a few days.

[bobalife]

Although it wasn’t wrong… but if that’s the only thing you ask in response to what she has shared with you that consist of other things that does matter to her than just intimacy.. she might have perceived that is your main focus and it’s too early to dive into it. If not, she may just be busy or there are other options she’s getting to know too.

[Passerby2]

Get real. He's just not attractive

[bobalife]

that’s not very kind…. It doesn’t matter how attractive/not attractive a guy is if his personality, moral, and how he present himself isn’t great.

[Passerby2]

It doesn't matter how bad his personality is if he's attractive

[bobalife]

You just missed what I said, it does matter because any girl can be turned off by bad personalities and discontinue. But if you wanna go by that thinking is up to you.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

You gotta feel them out and take into account what it is you're looking for on there. If you're looking for someone to date seriously, save it for later or at the end of the date.

If you're just looking to smash, you should build up to it as quickly as possible.

[lightbulb27]

asking women questions, that don't know you and thus don't feel comfortable being vulnerable, creates insecurity. they are more likely to shut down. better to respond with statements, support, recognition of her openness, etc.. not digging deeper.

[Jamie05rhs]

@midnightmoon05 Is this true?

[midnightmoon05]

@Jamie05rhs whatever he says is right
Right honey? 😘❤️…me love you… happy vacation week!! So happy to be hanging out with you…this week off.

[Jamie05rhs]

Haha. Alright.

[lightbulb27]

@midnightmoon05 is wonderful and relaxing!
@Jamie05rhs - my opinion stands. Just always think the #1 thing for female... security. They thus love confidence. That said...85% of what is said is how it is said and perception. So some guys will get away with being very direct, if they have such skills. In general, being authentic works.

[OfMiceandMen]

I would avoid the whole topic of sex on dating sites period. It's way to early to get into discussions about sex when you are getting to know someone.

[thatshydork]

I wouldn’t say you were in the wrong necessarily, but if someone who I’ve never met in person and have only talked to online asked me that, I’d feel a bit awkward.

[Dargil]

Nope. You never asked about sex. She revealed herself but thought she sounded l9ke she was luring you. Sorry about that.

[Drew-1990]

She was the one that first mentioned sex you just gave her a response question. So I don't get why she left. It gets if you first asked about sex.

[RavVid]

She didn't want to detail and say once a month which would put you off.

[Nikki1989]

Typical male mindset. This is another reason why so many men hit a brick wall while looking for a partner.

[Jamie05rhs]

Man, I hate bitches like that. She was the one that brought it up. And she wants to get shy all of a sudden? SMH. Fuck outta here with that bullshit. You did nothing wrong, man. These heifers be playing too many damn games.

[Anonymous]

No, she opened the door for that one. It was fine to ask.

[JacobJordan]

She brought it up. Her not responding is just a sure fire sign you dodged a bullet

[Alex-Snow]

I don't think u asked anything wrong. I think it is ok to find about ones attitudes towards sex on a dating site ahead of time. Less confusion that way.

[Minahh]

Your question was only follow up one on what she said so it was appropriate. If you wasn't looking for a hoe you should be glad that she stopped talking to you as what she said as a first thing means she likely was looking for a casual thing anyway.

[normalice]

Very few things are wrong but any number of things can make women lose interest online.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Sir, you're fine. Have a good day, and it's not wrong to mention it unless its unwanted.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Or illegal, anyways laws vary on anything and everything about anything nowadays. No one even likes a hello anymore without them turning around and going 👀✊ ouch 🤕

[Peridot25]

To be fair, she brought it up. So, no you’re not in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

She was bluffing with a pair of twos, and you called her bluff. 😂😂

[Anonymous]

Dude--SHE is the one who brought up sex! You're fine. She probably stopped responding for other reasons. Like she matched with a dude she was more excited about.

[imawfulatusernames]

It wasn’t wrong because she brought it up but in general don’t mention it.

[DreamLife7]

She brought it up. When she did that you should've blocked her. It's probably a man anyway

[Pohjolan]

Its not like they are there for cooking recipes.

[Anonymous]

instead of asking her whats healthy sex life, you should of asked her if she wanted to have sex

[Paris13]

NO SEX!!! xxoo

[Ms_Facesitter]

No. She just wasn't interested.

[LiamJHayden]

She initiated it so no, you are fine.

[KrakenAttackin]

She brought it up. You had every right to ask.

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope, if that was her only reply that’s fine.

[Twalli]

Shr brought it up first