Should a guy dump his issues on a girl?

Question

I don't think it's okay for a guy to dump his frustrations on a girl when he knows she has enough issues going on in her life. So I don't think it's fair. Or is it? Like when a guy is having a rough week at work and knows that he does not want to vent it out on her out of respect. But it's best that he copes with these things by himself.

Prezzi3 · Accepted Answer

Is it okay for a girl to dump her problems on you in a relationship? If the answer is yes, then you should be able to do the same. Part of having a partner is to have a support system, someone you can trust , share your concerns with, and be vulnerable with. Someone you can do life with, through thick and thin. It must be lonely trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, sometimes just talking things out with someone can help. Sometimes she might actually have a tangible solution that can help you. Not talking things out with your partner can lead to resentment, isolation, or the end of your relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As a woman, I have a habit of taking things personally. If a man is venting to me, I immediately believe that I am the source of his frustration. Maybe I am sometimes, either directly or indirectly, but most of the time I’m not. But because I am on the receiving end, my mind believes that I am at fault and I start crying or feeling defensive.
Just like women need to communicate to men that they are venting and need a listening ear, I need a man to be able to communicate what he is frustrated about and whether or not he wants my input.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

He shouldn't. The issue is women say they want their men to open up and tell them things, but they really don't. They have a low tolerance level for dealing with the issues of a man or their partner.

That is why it is better for men to confide in their fellow men or a therapist over their women. Because when they do, at least they have a level support from men. Not cold shoulder and subconscious loss of respect from the woman they love the second they show any level of vulnerability.

However, no one should make their partner their therapist. It is a quick way to make people resentful.

he-takes-a-part · Accepted Answer

Depends upon closeness of relation. Like this girl I met in a mutual friend's wedding. She happen to narrate why she was with me this whole time. And not with the bride. Whereas I told the same about why I was In the room because it was almost all girls and a single guy downstairs, I was brain packed listening to talks since last two days hence I came above and sat down and worse was the nature and level of talks, utter girls shit. But I found her quiet unwelcoming when I narrated my reason of not being in the wedding downstairs and alone in the room.

Pinay_ako · Answer

you don’t dump your issues on anyone ever. They’re your issues so deal with them yourself like a grown ass adult should. Now, if you have a solid partner who can help you with your issues, good! But it’s not fair for them to carry them for you! As they have their own issues too. Instead, help each other work through together. That’s why they’re called partners not garbage cans.

coachTanthony · Answer

Not if he wants to keep her.

Anonymous · Answer

If you want to be belittled, or make it about her and how your feelings hurt her, or you want to look really really weak in front of her, then have at it. There’s maybe two or three friends I’ve trusted with that stuff (ok a lot more I’ve trusted and shouldn’t have) and at least they don’t try to use it against me in front of me. Most people do. So I don’t say much. Hell, most of my family uses that stuff against me. They love to gaslight.

Otherwise, you will probably have to stick to therapy or maybe a super close guy friend who you trust. See, while I may trust some of these girls who won’t do it to my face, I do fully think that some find me weaker for admitting when I’ve been at my wits end. But as far as a girlfriend or wife, I’m not that bright, so if I get to that point again, I will probably admit to mental health issues or details of a rough day (past saying it was a rough day) and it’ll be breakup / make fun of / guilt trip / cheating time.

So no, if you value SOME sanity, and peace, you don’t talk about any depression, anxiety, or… let’s say… stupid thoughts… you never cry in front of her… me being an idiot, I’ve done this once in a while, and it’s often come back to bite me in the butt worse than it would have if I kept my stupid mouth shut.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Why not? Their lives are connected, so isolating our partner from our struggles creates a new problem. The questions... Why didn't she/he tell me? Doesn't she/he love me anymore? Does she/he have someone else to talk to?

Why you think you can make any decision for people in your life? If you are not sure, than ask, but don't assume and create one person decisions in the relationship. If your partner can't help you, they will tell you that. You don't have to assume for them...

Really... open communication is the key

tremendousfern · Answer

I don't see anything wrong with venting your frustrations about work/whatever to each other. I'll do that occasionally with my coworkers/friends/parents because it's helpful to de-stress.

But nobody wants to listen to you trauma dump. There's a reason why you have to pay a therapist to listen to that crap about your past. Your mommy/daddy or whatever personal issues you have should be handled personally.

MemeSupreme · Answer

tell me what's happenin so ik and maybe it'll help you deal with it. like leaving us in the dark is how shit gets started bc we're confused. we wanna help

BUT don't be like doing it ALL the time bc no one likes a debbie downer. if my depressed ass won't be toxic about it then you can't

SolitarySolace · Answer

7 things you should NEVER do with your woman:

Put her on a pedestal

Tell her all your problems

Take her back if she cheats

Tell her all your weaknesses

Sacrifice your ambitions for her

Compromise your values for her

Make her the meaning of your life

What did I miss?

1

2

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

If he's a more earlier 20s mid 20s, I suppose I've been there myself, wanting to unload all my feelings and all my shortcomings lol at the time on prospective girlfriends. Luckily I've never had one, so I got older and wiser, and I'd rather be playful and upbeat and it's no mask 🎭

Cutegirl06 · Answer

I think if a guy is going through something I would want the chance to help him through it. It works both ways.

iFarted · Answer

When I was younger I always kept my issues to myself and figure it out. My most recent relationship taught me that it's okay to talk about issues that arises to others. I believe it should go both ways. Both girls and guys should be able to have one another there with open arms and ears.

Selliebeanz · Answer

Personally, I'd love to know my man's issues. Thing is I want him to resolve them as well not just continuously complain about the same topic. I'm glad to hear him out. That's where good communication and emotion intimacy come into play.

Keyboardkat · Answer

Sure! That's a GREAT way to get and keep girlfriends! I'm sure you'll have more girls than you can ever imagine! And if you don't get it, I'm being sarcastic!

Lady_Heart · Answer

Thats not healthy either u r a man or a woman. If u r frustrated by something try to find a way to get help. If u can communicate ur worries to ur partner in a better way then its good. Talking about it should help

Phoenix98 · Answer

Ideally in a relationship you should be able to be there for each and support each other through hardships and issues, etc. And both the man and the woman should feel like they can do that.

Sadly though that's usually not how it goes.

laly520 · Answer

venting is fine talking about it do help a lot dont listen to extreme negative advices

Minahh · Answer

It's absolutely okay to share his struggles I'd actually appreciate it however what is not okay acting like a dick towards her because he has unresolved stuff and doesn't know how to control his emotions

KrakenAttackin · Answer

No. Women don't want to hear about a man's problems. Women want a man to be their rock and will immediately get the "ick" if you show any weakness. This includes your wife/girlfriend, mother, sister, and daughters.

Anonymous · Answer

You should definitely share your struggles with the woman if she is a friend and partner. Her role is to support you. And you support her too. She may want to feel needed…so tell her.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

No, men shouldn't dump their issues on women, but women shouldn't be dumping their issues on men either.

NathanDavis · Answer

you're supposed to work on them, not dump them

LivingExample · Answer

It depends on where they are in the relationship. If it is someone he just met, No. if they actually have a relationship she needs to know what is going on with him because it effects her too!

Enginn · Answer

Having sex with her is a good relief from those issues. You shouldn't tell her your every issue or she might use it against you and that will be disturbing.

Massageman · Answer

I wouldn't dump unless asked by the dumpee.

JayBones · Answer

Of course. What else is a bitch useful for?

austinbooth · Answer

No he shouldn’t

Should a guy dump his issues on a girl?

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