Are bad boys always bad boys, or do they eventually want to settle down and treat a woman right?

Question

Johnny_162 · Accepted Answer

Bad boys are innately not the type to want to "settle down" and if they did, that would render them no longer bad boys and the bad boy attraction would dissolve. If that is your end goal, you should examine yourself and figure out what attributes you are attracted to and why and then see that those attributes are actually incompatible with your desired outcome, then choose to be attracted to attributes that will be compatible with what you want in the long run. A mature person who knows themselves well, understands that initial, non logical, attraction is basically unrepresentative of any relationship's outcome. And simply dismisses those feelings as being illogical rather than acting upon impulse as a child would. You control your thoughts and feelings, not the other way around, you can't be a slave to them going which ever way they blow you, all willy-nilly-like, on a whim, lol. That is the difference between a child and an adult. If you are allowing yourself to be attracted to attributes that are incompatible with what you desire as an end result, that is on you, and no one else. And if you play like that, you will be a wrecking force and pain causing person to all those around you in your life, rather than enabling those within your circle of influence to thrive by being your authentic self. The cognitive dissonance you'll be causing within yourself and your relationships will not only be no good for yourself, but also everyone else in your life. I think some serious self evaluation is due here... for simply asking such a question. One thing is for certain... it is alway irresponsible and immature to expect someone to change who they are, especially when you knew (or should've known if you were mature and thoughtful enough) who they were and what they could and could not provide for you... from the beginning. Do not mislead somebody like that, let them find and be with somebody more like themselves instead of trying to be selfish and then blaming their behavior on them in the future, when it is you who chose them and to be in that situation with them in the first place, that is your personal accountability. In summary, it is important for you to first decide on what you desire your end result to be, and then work backwards from there figuring out and honing what attributes you should find attractive in a partner... in order to obtain your desired outcome. To do it any other way, especially backwards, by just letting your attraction take you where it takes you without fully understanding it and hope to somehow obtain the outcome you want by chance is blatantly irresponsible, not only for yourself but for them. It requires reverse engineering what it is you want and then deciding on what you should and shouldn't be attracted to in another person in order to make that outcome happen for you both. It sounds like what you want are qualities like responsibility, effective use of resources, reliability, integrity, intelligence, honor, self respect, ability to provide... consistently, and other attributes like that are what you should be looking for; not things like aloofness, narcissism, and others that go against all that. If that is not the case for you and what you find attractive, you have some serious inner work to do in order to first get yourself to a maturity level where you deserve to be in a relationship with another person as their partner in life. You're not automatically entitled to a relationship, a certain level of self work and maturity has to come first, or you will never find a successful one... if that's what you're after in the long run... they will all just be wastes of people's time and energy, causing everyone involved undue stress, anxiety, pain, and hurt... especially if children accidentally arise out such an irresponsibly incompatible union which should have been shut down before anything could ever have happened in the first place. Just remember, your choices, whether responsible or irresponsible have far reaching and long lasting impacts on many, many people around you, potentially even long after you're gone. If I were you, I'd really think about responsibility and the role you have allowed it to play or not in your life as it relates to your effect on others around you, instead of just being focused on yourself and being lackadaisical with who you choose to be attracted to. It must be a conscious, well thought out decision before you act on any impulse, you are accountable for that responsibility which you owe to yourself as well as everyone else you interact with, as a mature and evolved human being in society.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Most bad boys will be bad boys until the day they die. Some will "settle down" with a woman, but even the ones who do that will mostly still keep their negative traits - cheating, lying, or ignoring the woman when it suits them. They might just find a woman who will accept it, especially if he's successful.

The vast majority of people do not change their base nature - this includes both men and women. That doesn't mean it is impossible to change - it's POSSIBLE, but in the real world, it's rare.

myloveforuisinfinte · Accepted Answer

I don't know maybe some and maybe some not. Just treat them as a side chicks not much , coz they don't deserve it. Don't be serious about them. And don't get yourself pregnant lol. Dont be emotionally attach with them when they are not emotionally attach with u. No one gonna change if they don't want too. If a man want to change himself for u , then trust me they will change, u don't have to do anything. Action speak louder than words. So don't ever try to fix him lol. Just focus on your work and life, enjoy and explore your life and if u are bored then that time , take them serious , after that forgot them 💀like they don't even exist. Be emotionally intelligent, and complete in yourself like u don't even need anyone. Stop being delulu and overthinker.
Lmao
Tbh a guy who is mature, confident , caring , loyal and have a good and sweet personality is far better than a bad boy.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

Depends on the actual type of "badboy" you're talking about.

Women's version which is just a guy that doesn't necessarily always follow the rules or societal norms or is always confident and doesn't back doesn't take shit from anyone

Or... Some men's version which is guy who is a criminal, drug addict, abuser, sociopath, crime kingpin, beats old ladies in public. Cheats non stop.

Needs to be a distinction made between who's version.

coachTanthony · Answer

Bad boys lack a bunch of stuff that nice guys have and vice versa. If the Bad Boy became a nice guy and wanted to settle down it be like watching a cat finally getting what it wants when it captures the string but then becomes bored and goes after another string.

Avicenna · Answer

Usually, once a "bad boy", always a bad boy

gabrielle0088 · Answer

Sometimes it depends on their age. Dr. Ramani says that sometimes players/npds can acknowledge they have made a mistake while their frontal cortex is still being formed but more often than not they do not change. A baby and a marriage will not change a person and the best way to see this flag is based on the patterns of the person as well as their childhood.

My child's father had been married twice to women that had no children with him and then he had 2 separate baby mother's by the time he was 25. That is a total of four women. He is now married to wife #3 and 37 years old. When I search his socials all of his friends are his ex-girlfriends from high school, his ex-wife's sister, his ex-gf's mother etc.. He has been married now for 9 years and only 25% of friends list happen to be men. The rest are women. It's really sad because I think the wife either doesn't know or doesn't care. They eventually end up with people who are accepting of their lifestyle or moral value system.

Miristheiss · Answer

They are always bad, they'll never settle, commit to you, be faithful, stick around for any kids he sires.

A woman is a fool if she thinks, I'll get him to commit to me. You will get left after he has his fun, he'll cheat, he'll leave you with the pregnancy and he'll be off to charm the next girl looking for the "tingles" and feelings verses using her brain and making a wise decision.

Mr_twoface · Answer

The term “Bad Boys” needs to be defined to understand what you are specifically referring too. In my opinion, all bad boys don’t have to be bad and with age and personal experience and growth things can change. Some “bad boys” put up a character of being just that a 'bad boy' but deep down they are very sensitive and family-oriented individuals. Once they grow older, they will come out of that character. Others can be bad boys at a certain age in their life’s and/or be influenced or feel the pressure to appear in certain way by a group of other men... but with time and personal experiences they can also change their attitude and treat women the right and correct way. If a bad boy has a negative trait, he can change and get better. Those bad boys who have had serious offences and for instance mistreated women in past relationships and/or family, these type of boys need to be watched out for.

jadspop · Answer

In general I think every one grows and changes over time abs the people that are closer to us can greatly effect the path of that growth.

I also think that the more rooted in there personality or in there childhood the behavior is the harder it would be to charge that trait. It's my beliefe that the longer a person has a trait of a habit the more dramatic of a life event is required to inspire genuin change.

So to answer your question. Can a bad boy change? Yes, every one can and dose. Do I think a bad boy WILL change (for the better) maybe not as much as you'd probably like

Novacane · Answer

I think it would depend on the man. For the most part, there are very few men who are considered "bad boys" that get women. So it would depend on the man if he has always been this way or recently became that way, although I would say the threshold for men vs women to give up on those availabilities of options is higher. Meaning it can take them months if not years. I would say dating situations can also affect them and change their mind. A rule of thumb I always use is if the person is worth it then they will change no matter what. If not then you are just not that person that they are willing to make the drastic change for.

ZackBan · Answer

Not all "bad boys" are created equal.

This word has been used to describe many kinds of men.

Men willing to live life on their own terms and outside social norms but at the same time have a moral compass and belive in lasting partnerships, for instance, sure they might settle down with the right person.

But men who are just traumatized and lacking in all kinds of parental affection who seek destructive behavior to compensate for that hollow feeling they can't get rid of. Those guys will always crawl back to their old ways unless they get the proper help BEFORE settling down.

There are other archetypes as well but you get the idea.

QuickToAsk · Answer

The majority of bad boys don't want to ever settle down. There's always more women that he hasn't had sex with yet that he needs to get to. So, it's like, why settle for one woman when you can keep having numerous, new fantasy/sexual conquests? Why would he change what works for him? Why give a life of never-ending sexual pleasure away for one woman? The getting-married-then-divorced process would only slow him down. He might as well keep doing what he's doing without the speed bump called marriage.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think he would want to settle down. As he gets older, many things happened, when I got older and was picky about her and picky about that one, but I got older and grew up and told myself what the hell you thinking dude go after that girl she is gorgeous not a damn thing wrong with her. So what if she has a pixie cut, so what if she has long hair, yes age caused me to grow up, and it was for the best. So any guy who got a bad boy image could change. Look at my Username GoodGuyBreakingBad yes I finally settled down. I'm still looking for the right woman to love and be special.

adventurous-1 · Answer

Bad boys sometimes is a phase other times it's a preferred lifestyle and self image. Many people do change over time depending on what's happened in their past and what's going on in the present. Some mature with time and their attitudes and outlook change as well adapting to what they see as advantageous for a better life. While others are stuck in what they perceive as their optimum self and probably will remain set in their ways for the rest of their life. The point is most people do change with time, some for good and others for bad. How many old aquanites have you come across only to discover they're not the same person from your past.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Most "bad boys" I know tend to have changed themselves for the better before they settled down with a woman. Which wouldn't make them a bad boy anymore in this case. There's some bad boys who will always be & stay bad regardless of their age though. I wouldn't trust or get near them though. Especially if you're looking for a suitable romantic partner.

spoole · Answer

No such thing as a bad boy unless you are talking about a subhuman monster. What passes for bad boy these days is a man that takes a woman the way she likes it. Girls do not like passive boys that pine about too afraid to take the initiative, they like to be taken by hot hard men endowed enough to please her properly. Be a man, take what you like, but only because she wants you to. 100% increase in hot sex for everyone involved guaranteed. Risky? Yes. Worth it? Probably. Just don't be a monster. Keep it human.

JacobJordan · Answer

They don't change. If you wanted a good man you should have gotten married to a good man. (Early to mid 20s) that is when good men get married generally. Sometimes early 30s and of course plausible later but unlikely. What is left in the dating market is what has been rejected for decades or doesn't want to marry.

Mariena_Anne92 · Answer

Only until they met the right woman. Even man who’s always telling they not ready for relationship will stood up if you are what they wants. Sometimes not because they’re not ready for relationship. They’re ready but not with you.

MikeMak · Answer

I know from experience that sometimes a man will have genuine intentions and try to be good early in life but crappy circumstances can cause them to become disillusioned and change their outlook causing them to become “bad boys”. Sometimes their perspective can change as they come of age and they gradually change their ways but not always.

SixFootSexy · Answer

Your questions show you just don't get how gender dynamics work today. You went for a top 20% bad boys that every girl wanted to sleep with, you had your turn on the carousel and now... You missed your window of getting the man who gave you tingles to commit to you, so might as well get comfortable with the cats. Look up Alpha Widows.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

My dad was the stereotypical 80s bad boy. I'm talking serial dater, metal-head, motorcyclist - the whole gambit. He's been in group fights, cheated like it was second nature, and had his ear pierced with a rusty pin in his friend's basement.

Today, he's been married for 23 years 😄

DoggyDude · Answer

They will eventually settle down, but when they do, it will be at a time when their natural energy to be bad is ebbing. A famous example is Russle Brand. I'd say his behaviour is architypical in that category.

Men don't change, they just rearrange. I would say.

That's not though to say someone can't have a 'bad day'. Meaning appear to be a 'bad boy' but it was just a set of circumstances. That's differenciable by the extreem rarity of it happening and a reluctance to repeat.

A_Bell · Answer

"Bad boys" only get worse or become losers.

Don't confuse confidence and arrogance. "Bad" boys are narcissistic and don't follow rules because they don't care about others, including you.

Confident ones, advocate and stand up for themselves, but they protect the weak and never punch down.

Billlewis · Answer

I think they tend to remain bad boys; the difference is that eventually, the women they've dated previously often settle down with a nice guy, with whom they can have a long term relationship, but they still enjoy dating the bad boys once in a while for excitement.

godfatherfan · Answer

the "bad boys" are pieces of trash. They will treat women like pieces of trash. They will be that way until they die. As they age, they just find different ways to treat women like garbage. Sadly, it seems most women want to be treated like shit or they don't want to stay with you.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

I don’t see many of them changing. In my male dominated field the bad boys seem to remain bad boys, leaving a trail of baby mommas, ugly breakups, and infidelity in their wake. The good guys seem to be more faithful and stable for their women but not a lot of women swoon after them. I think being a good guy with some of the life skills, confidence, and directness of a self confident man is about as close to the ideal man a woman can land.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

That’s the fantasy they sell in the romance novels: A man who not only treats you different from how he treats everyone else but a man who’s willing to change a lot of who he is just to be deemed worthy of your love.

Unfortunately life is rarely so picture perfect and those with rap sheets are probably going to go back to prison at some point because of how hard it is to get a good job with a conviction on your record. It’s a vicious cycle, not one many can withstand.

StudyingAuthor · Answer

I've never really known any bad boys. I've always live my life in books. I read one about a guy who was afraid to settle down, so he was never 'dating' anybody. But he did end up falling for this girl, who, unlike every other girl, didn't want to sleep with him.

To make a long story short, they got married and had three kids. Or two? I forgot, it's been a while. It's actually a nice read.

mobiusforniner · Answer

What exactly is a “bad boy”? From many of the threads on this site, it seems like it’s a term thrown around by jealous incels over any guy who seems to be “getting some”.

Conversely, if a woman is attracted to and dating someone who doesn’t treat her right, that tells me SHE has low self esteem. She knows she deserves better but chooses to stay with a guy, using the sorry excuse that maybe he will change.

Kaamraj · Answer

If a "bad boy" settles down and gives that commitment to the woman, then she will become disinterested in him. It is thus in a bad boy's interest to always give low priority to the woman. So either chase after the "bad boy" or settle for the "nice guy."

Kelley1 · Answer

Bad boys don't mistreat women. They only take what women freely give and willingly offer. They don't promise the women anything. They just trade a little round for a little flat.

Anonymous · Answer

Bad boys will stay bad boys for as long as they possibly can.

Theyre so spoiled they see no reason to change or care about a woman.

They’ll change by their 30’s to mid 30’s. When they get old and ugly.

And even after married with kids they’ll still cheat on their faithful low-bodycount wife.

SotiCoto · Answer

Whoever decides which questions get "Featured" needs sitting down... and kicking repeatedly in the face until they stop favouring idiotic dross.

... Wait, it is probably an algorithm.
Well whatever. I'd be up for kicking an algorithm repeatedly, or the server it is run on, though I doubt it would change its ways.

Anyway... not answering the question as it is just a cliché.

lucas262 · Answer

Lotta guys put this act on because women LOVE bad men.

I don't understand it really, I can't imagine treating a woman like shit and her eating it up. I think there's a difference between not being a simp and being a good man. Most dudes are simps

MsBrie · Answer

I've dated a bad boy once, I thought i could change Him and I almost got into trouble with the law because of it. just don't bother.

Create21 · Answer

More than likely they will treat you like shit. They might be nice to you for a while, but once you are hooked, they will treat you like shit.

Paul09 · Answer

Why are you trying to find a reason to date a bad boy? If you are ready to be taken advantage of and being use. For sex, go for it. Being evil is easy mode in life, being good takes a ton of work. People hate change. So they usually stay the the same. I would not risk it.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends. Do they repent and give their life to Jesus? Many times what happens to them is they marry sone low life woman, who ends up tearing him down in the end.

I’ve seen it a million times. Low lives marry a low life and make one another absolutely miserable.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

My partner describes me as a 'bad boy' but HER bad boy. I'm fine with that, and I suppose where I use to be a bit reckless regarding anything or anyone, I'm never reckless regarding my relationship with her!

Jackblue · Answer

Depends, psychopaths and sociopaths are inherently bad, though I suspect even they don't act as wild when they get older. Youth fades sooner or later for most bad boys like it does for most bad girls. I would avoid dating men who have been to prison though, unless he had been out for a while and not reoffended.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

Yes. Bad boys do what they like without question and seek validation from no one but doesn't mean to say they won't commit to the right woman who matches them and is on their wave length. Bad boys seek women who can challenge them in every aspect.

Sharkstealth · Answer

The ones I knew because nobody likes a jerk. They either end up in prison or jail. How would you like your child to only know the person in a cage behind a window? They also become drunks or drug addicts which just makes them more of a jerk and unemployable.

misfitwomen12 · Answer

I’m dating an ex f boy so I’ll say it depends some never grow up and some do like my boyfriend it’s one of the most caring people I met and he always meets my needs ♥️

dragoblack · Answer

Pffft no. "Bad boys" are romantacized as bad in public but are actially romantic and sweet while confident, but in reality, they are just assholes and jerks that women mistake for confidence, then get pissed saying "why are guys like this? I can never find a good man"... i honestly see it way too often. Keep an eye out for red flags and question whether or not they guy is actually confident, or just an asshole, take a moment to get to know the guy, ranther than jumping right on into the flirting

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

A person that is bad doesn't wake up one day and say today I will be good, as it doesn't work that way.

People hardly change from bad to good so if he's bad while young he will be also bad when he gets older and treat women just like he did in his youth.

Cooliochillman · Answer

We eventually want to settle down but the desire for variety never really goes away. But we eventually crave a stable and consistent relationship and consistent companionship. Honestly if you can give your guy that and be a little fun you should not have an issue with a "bad boy" being faithful lol

molonski2 · Answer

Bad boys will only ever " settle down " as such when for whatever reason they are no longer able to pull off the " bad " attitude routine.
And that does happen with age , but different age for each BB.

LazerBean · Answer

A bad boy will almost always end up being a bad father and a bad husband.

dustybiker2 · Answer

I wouldn't cluster all bad boys into one box.

clovertheminotaur · Answer

Some will, most won't. It's part of the style to not want to settle down, to sleep with as many women as possible. But, if you want someone with edge, there's plenty of men who look scary but are giant sweethearts! Just gotta look for em

velvetheart · Answer

I struggle to imagine someone in their, say, 50s, still being a bAd BoY lol. Not entirely sure what you mean by bad boy, though... With that being said, I wouldn't take my chances.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

A bad boy  can  change I seen it in some friends but don't plan on it. Most don't.

HawkPerception · Answer

I believe that your inherent nature never truly changes unless you have a traumatic experience. People learn to hide their true intentions better as they gain experience in life, but truly good people are consistently good in their lives.

GrandpaKnowsBest · Answer

I've observed many different levels of bad in my lifetime. Some boys are bad to the bone, and some grow weary of it completely, but it seems that most want to remain a little bit bad. I think it gives guys a sense of rebel satisfaction to do bad things periodically.

superchan2011 · Answer

Usually the bad boy type never really change. If they did they would no longer be bad boys. They stay that way more often than not until they die. Not say it's impossible for them to change but it's usually improbable.

Lily02 · Answer

I know someone who considered himself as a "bad boy". And, according to my judgement, he was 😂 But now he has a girlfriend of 2 years and they're doing great. He is loyal and dedicated to his current relationship. He is even thinking of marrying her, so yes I'd say "bad boys" can settle down eventually. But you cannot expect them to change overnight. Something like this takes time and only happens when the person is willing to change.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Remember it’s a two way street. It’s women who  enable  bad boys.  If women want to do that then go right ahead. But this wistful isn’t going to change anything.

GreenLanternI0I · Answer

Bad boys changing? and wanting to settle down so they can treat woman right? Come on, seriously Come on, stop lying to yourself, stop hoping for a hope that doesn't exist.

naartjie · Answer

Save yourself the heartache and let the bad boy go. It’s always messy and wastes so much of your time all for the hopes that you’ll make him change. You won’t.

Kreneman · Answer

Most of the time they stay bad and it's small percentage that they will change to treat their women right which means, most the time women that go out with them have to survive and have to be strong to deal with that bad boy mentality.

rosemilk · Answer

if they're a bad boy, turns out they grew up in a bad family that thought them acting like that was okay. they'll never change their ways. behavior is very hard to change when an adult.

Lionman95 · Answer

They might settle down at some point but they decide if and when they do. It´s not like there is a behavior that makes a guy want to settle down.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

I definitely do, but I've fucked up my life so bad w multiple partners (over 200) I don't know if I'll ever be able to be in a normal functioning relationship.

Are bad boys always bad boys, or do they eventually want to settle down and treat a woman right?

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