Why would my boyfriend cheat on me if he's happy with me?

[Anonymous]

I've been with him for 3 years. He's always appreciated me, as in complimented my looks, my personality etc. But all that came crashing down when my friend told me that she heard somewhere that he responded to a girl who sent him nudes. I feel heartbroken because I don't understand why he'd cheat. Was he complimenting me all this time to make me feel better and secretly thought I was ugly? I mean I'm 5'7, have a lean body, wear nice clothes, do yoga, skincare and haircare, but it's possible he prefers an Instagram model, which I'm not, so that could be why he cheated... But overall we were happy, or so I thought. I had no reasons to cheat, and I thought it was true for him as well.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I'd hardly consider him talking to an Instagram model who you don't know the extent of the conversation cheating.

It's certainly danger close and worth confronting him about though.

The issue with cheating is that it's a betrayal of trust. I mean this to say, you're asking all the wrong questions. Of course he thinks you're attractive and so on.

This should be making you question his loyalty and what kind of respect he has for you.

A man's attraction to a woman has a physical and a mental aspect. There is a neglagable mental attraction with an Instagram model because even cheaters barely have any respect for them.

Which means that a man "cheating" on his woman with an Instagram model is likely feeling like there's something missing.

Maybe he misses the days he courted woman. For many men it's almost like a sport. Maybe it does have something to do with your relationship and there's been some kind of tension he doesn't know how to address.

Personally, I don't like guys who go crazy for Instagram models. I'm bias because of a few people I've known over the course of my life. As much as I've said on here I have no problem with open relationships, I really dislike cheaters. And guys who hit up and stare at woman on Instagram strike a similar chord for me. It's probably a little irrational though.

I think you should talk to him about your relationship first and then bring up the rumor you heard.

[Purpleronnie]

“He responded to a girl that sent him nudes “ … how did he respond? Did he even know this person? Who told you this is and how do they know this? Did he solicit the nudes from the girl? Or is this just some insta whore trying to get attention? …. There is so little here I can’t and it’s so vague and arbitrary that I can’t give you any advice at all. To me all you MIGHT have right now is that your boyfriend looked at some maybe fake pictures of some random insta profile. There isn’t a heterosexual guy on here that hasn’t stumbled across nude pictures of an attractive woman via the internet that hasn’t “responded” . So you’re saying all of those guys that are in relationships are cheating too?

[Asker]

Umm, I've said in the comments that he apparently responded with "I'm hard". I don't know how to bring this up because he's obviously going to deny it.

[Purpleronnie]

I’d have concerns for the guy and your relationship if looking at a naked beautiful woman didn’t make him hard bit I’d still need to know more before considering this a betrayal , cheating at this point is still a stretch. You have to talk to him if you want to move past it. Regardless of what I think you have to at least say what’s on your mind and then even talk it through with hypotheticals if he is going to deny it.

[naartjie]

I understand you may sit with doubt about yourself. Thinking you weren’t good enough, prettier enough, etc.
You are. Your worth isn’t in his hands. You take good care of yourself by the sounds of it. People don’t need reasons to cheat, they’re just shitty people who will do it anyway.
Leave him if you haven’t already.
That is cheating in my opinion. Cheating can look different to different people. Some people are open to sleep around in relationships but to me that’s cheating.
Sex isn’t the only form of cheating. So don’t think you’re overreacting either.
So much love to you girl 🫶🏼
You’ll find who you’re meant to be with one day

[Account]

There is not always a deep reason.
He simply might have wanted to feel wanted/validated by a woman that wasn't you.
It has nothing to do with your attractiveness.
I am sorry about that by the way.

[Finchie40]

Because your boyfriend is a selfish person that only thinks about himself , if he truly valued you and loved you he would of ignored that other girl and not even messaged her back , but the fact that he did , just goes to show he only cares about himself , And he just likes the convenience of you , Don’t be his convenience anymore , , do yourself a favor and start treating him like a convenience

[OlderAndWiser]

People usually do not cheat because they are unhappy with their partner. Most cheaters are people who do not respect the promises and commitments they have made, and they get a rush from the thrill of cheating and breaking a promise.

If you end the relationship and he starts a relationship with her, he will probably cheat on her, too.

[Joshydavid25]

"But all that came crashing down when my friend told me that she heard somewhere that he responded to a girl who sent him nudes."

Well, that's a bit too vague a source to really take it with a grain of salt.. You'll have to talk to him about the whole situation and come to the conclusion to see if you feel he cheated.. But if he did only he could really answer why he did..

[Whitey_Johnson]

There could be many reasons for his behavior, but the main thing you learned from this is that he doesn't love you. When a man loves a woman, he will not intentionally do anything to hurt her. So it looks like you have a decision to make. by the way, choosing not to decide is a decision.

[JacobJordan]

Have you asked him? Is your friend single? Do you actually know he cheated? Odds are if you heard it from your friend and she is single she is trying to ruin your relationship because that is what western women do. Misery loves company

[firenine909]

Responding to a girl who sent him nudes isn’t cheating unless he asked for it. Although some girls might think he’s hot to and try to flirt with him. As long as he doesn’t get with him it should be fine. I’d suggest talking it out with him

[naartjie]

It is cheating.

[HelpfulWoman]

you could still be attractive to him and be cheated on,
trash doesn't care about that.

[Asker]

That could be, but ig you'd agree that ur partner cheating on you makes you doubt ur looks at least once or maybe twice.

[Paris13]

Many Men Enjoy The Spice of Life and are Not Ready for a Wife and Even Then... Never The End, Natural Born Cheat Sheets. xxoo

[nawtee_me]

Ok well…. You heard from a friend that heard somewhere….. all hearsay right? Have you asked him about it? I mean if some girl just sent him nude pics and his response was “I don’t want these”. Wouldn’t that still be a response to her pics?

[sheikalana]

Him cheating on you has nothing to do with you. It was his choice. Don’t blame yourself or doubt yourself because is not your fault.

[KrakenAttackin]

You call this "cheating"? I agree it's inappropriate and troubling, but "cheating"?

Also, how did you find out he responded? And what did he respond?

[Asker]

Apparently something like "I'm hard"

[naartjie]

It is cheating.

[KrakenAttackin]

@naartjie In that case, so is women posting thirst traps.

[naartjie]

Did THIS woman post a thirst trap? If she didn’t then no, she hasn’t cheated. Her partner DID. I’m 100% with you that women in committed relationships should not post thirst traps because, yes, it is cheating, it’s incredibly disrespectful to the partner just as it is disrespectful and EMBARRASSING when your partner is out there acting single. What a fucked up work and generation we live in.

[KrakenAttackin]

@naartjie Well said.

[V_Injector]

So how did he cheat? I respond to those bitches all the time just to troll them.

[DextroShade]

His cheating likely had nothing to do with his feelings for you, men just inherently crave variety.

[FireFox001]

Well, he obviously wamts soemthing different. But this might not be a fault in you. Leave him and call ot a day.

[Yannae]

He wasn't happy enough. Cheaters want more and more.

[Nikki1989]

Because he is not really happy.

[Asker]

Yes, that's exactly what I don't understand. As far as I know, I've never been toxic or treated him like shit.

[laly520]

cheaters doesn't need a reason

[CVNT5]

dam baby now i wanna see a pic of you😘

[OtterMan68]

he's been lying to you

[Asker]

About what?

[OtterMan68]

his feelings for you. If he's cheating on you, he's not being honest nor is he being loyal and loving.

[Asker]

So he does think I'm ugly lol

[OtterMan68]

no. That's not why many men cheat. Many beautiful women and handsome men have been cheated on

[Asker]

Oh so his apparent appreciation for our relationship is a lie

[OtterMan68]

yes, that's right

[jahaims]

He isn't happy with himself

[Danny_dan92]

Selfish.