Where you ever ashamed to be romantically interested in someone?

[Anonymous]

Or do you know such cases where someone would try to forget about someone they like just because he doesn’t fit a certain ideal. I always believed this only happened in high school but I recently heard of it in my circle of friends where a guy would not pursue a girl because she is not „popular“ enough even though everyone knew he had a thing for her. Why do adults (I’m talking 25+) still act so childish and refuse to pursue someone they are into?

Yes

No

Vote

[HollyK21]

Honestly I just don’t think he was romantically interested in your friend and this is her interpretation of why she was rejected. To me, it’s very normal for a man to be physically attracted to a woman, enjoy the flirtation and her company but not having any intent for things to go further. Of course there are men out there who will or won’t date a woman depending on her social status but after high school that standard is reserved for high profile, high ranking men. Majority of the men we encounter are not high caliber to judge by popularity but instead they’re shallow and judge by looks.

[Asker]

i know he stalked her for quite a while and always stared at her...

[HollyK21]

I think there’s 2 things to consider in that case (at least in my thought process). One is that people can outgrow a crush (assuming he had one of course), and two is that both of those instances can relate to physical attraction. My thought process with both of those points is mainly that it is very possible she got the wrong idea. Then when he ultimately didn’t pick her, she decided it was due to her popularity level. Personally I just don’t think he was very into her in a romantic way.

[jennifer_bloom]

I am not ashamed of who I like cause if somebody is embarrassing to show interest in, I will never like them to begin with. But there are times when I feel shame cause a guy assumes I like him when I don't and he keeps suggesting I do.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No, unless I feel no romance from them, or I put more into a relationship than they do with me.

[Avicenna]

No, but sometimes my friends and family didn't have a high opinion of my girlfriend.

[Asker]

and why exactly?

[Avicenna]

Looks or personality. I never paid any attention to their opinions on my gfs, though.

[Asker]

what was wrong with her looks or personality according to them?

[Avicenna]

Well, keep in mind that some of them had ridiculously high standards. It would be things like her personality was too reserved because she wasn't that talkative around them and they really expected that or thought she wasn't intelligent enough. One was too fat, another wasn't attractive enough in the face. Shallow stuff. These gfs weren't perfect by any means, but the criticism was really kinda ridiculous.

[Asker]

why did they think she wasn't intelligent enough if she barely talked? And the one who was too fat for their standards, was she indeed overweight or did they just want an ultra skinny girl for you?

[Avicenna]

She was overweight, but it wasn't a problem. They made lots of assumptions just from convos (or the lack thereof).

[Asker]

but do you think their assessment of her intelligence was incorrect?

[Avicenna]

Nope

[Asker]

so you think she was indeed kind of unintelligent?

[Avicenna]

No, she was moderately intelligent

[Asker]

how did you make that assessment?

[Asker]

what was her profession?

[Avicenna]

She was a college student at the time, later became a teacher

[Asker]

how did you know that she was not bright?

[Avicenna]

Enough contact with someone in enough of a variety of situations will indicate that to you. I've never dated a woman who was dumb. Immature or lacking in common sense? Yeah, a few of those.

[Asker]

which subjects did she teach?

[Avicenna]

She was an elementary school teacher (she's now deceased, by the way).

[Asker]

I'm very sorry to hear that

[Afvenom]

Secret dated a really nice girl that was just not my usual beautiful girl. Was not really ashamed but people who found out made me feel that way.

[IslaTheWitch]

no... why should I?

[Anonymous]

Nope.