Please help me understand him?

[Anonymous]

So I have been seeing this guy for 4 months we met on Snapchat and have been talking consistently and even ended up being number 1 on both each-others friends list we finally met in person and everything seemed to be going well. I found out he has social anxiety but we called every night and we would talk about anything and be super comfortable around each other. We finally hung out for 3 weeks in a row and I noticed he was starting to get jealous whenever I mentioned a guys name so I confronted him about it and he said his ex girlfriend done the same and ended up cheating on him so I put it to rest. He had finally met my parents but unfortunately he had no job or license so my parents were sceptical of him. But every time I would ask to meet his family he would just freeze up and say they get along with everyone so I was annoyed as I allowed him to meet my family but I couldn’t meet his. One night my mum and his mum met by accident with him there and now he is acting strange, he turned his location off for Snapchat in me after constantly having it on, I’m always the one asking to call now when he would always ask and never end up calling anyway and ignores the messages as his snap score goes up and never replies to me for ages conveniently when I ask about calling or having out , I always ask to hang out and he always has a reason now as to why he can’t go and never fully answer my questions. I always end up getting mad with him telling him we need to talk and he comes up with a reason that his family are having rough times and his grandma is sick but it doesn’t explain many things. Please help me, what is going on with him and what should I do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof girl, this situation is definitely confusing. A few things that stand out to me:

- His social anxiety could definitely be playing a role in pulling away now that things are getting more serious and involved your families meeting. Meeting new people is hard for him.

- The ex cheating on him in the past has probably made him really guarded with trust too. Even little things you do may trigger those fears.

- The mixed signals - wanting to spend so much time with you one minute then distancing all of a sudden - suggest he's feeling unsure and conflicting feelings. Pulling back is his way of dealing with that.

- 4 months is still pretty early to gauge how serious he really wants to take things. He may be getting cold feet without meaning to hurt you.

My advice would be to try having an honest conversation with him - share how his actions are making you feel and that communication is important to build trust. Hopefully he opens up about what's really going on in his head.

But you also need to think about whether this uncertainty is something you're willing to deal with long term if his anxieties don't improve. Protect yourself too, you know? Best thing may be seeing other people if he can't meet you halfway.

Whatever happens, just focus on your happiness sis! You've got this.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your help

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure 😊

[Anonymous]

To understand somebody you actually have to care and be interested in them. Not just what they can do for you.

[laly520]

time will help with it