Do you believe it's shallow to have a "type"?

[HawkPerception]

Yes

No

Updates

1 mo

I'm talking about physically. Not personality.

[Babygirl_S]

I understand the concept of having physical and behavioural preferences because I also have mine.

Embracing preferences while dating is like having a roadmap, guiding us towards individuals who align with our values and interests. Yet, just as a skilled navigator remains open to new routes, being receptive to different types of connections broadens our perspective and enriches our experiences. It's in the exploration of the unknown where we often find delightful surprises, forging connections that transcend our initial expectations and deepen our understanding of love and companionship.

My type is a masculine man who remains calm. I am also drawn to particular phenotypes. For instance, I find the combination of pale skin, light eyes and dark hair very alluring.

My type

But liking a particular type doesn't mean I am not open to other possibilities. Therefore, I don't think it's shallow to have preferences but one shouldn't limit themselves.

[HawkPerception]

Is that Henry Cavill?

[Babygirl_S]

Yes..

[college-student2021]

Are you planing to leave India , in order to marry someone who looks like Henry Cavill?

[Babygirl_S]

@college-student2021 I don't know

[handsomelad70]

He's kinda ugly.

[Babygirl_S]

@handsomelad70 I find him extremely handsome.

[petitedollbabee]

No, it’s very natural. We all have an idea of what our ideal partner looks like, how they act, what their morals/beliefs are, etc. However, I do believe it’s shallow to refuse to date someone if they don’t fit your exact idea of an ideal partner, when it’s something really insignificant like a certain physical feature. Let’s say, your “type”/ideal partner has black hair, but the person that you meet has blonde hair - yet every other characteristic and feature about them is exactly what you’re looking for - but you still won’t date them because they don’t have black hair.

[JHAYES317]

@petitedollbabee I mean a lot of girls do this with height…

[petitedollbabee]

@JHAYES317 A lot of guys do this with weight too, what is your point?

[JHAYES317]

@petitedollbabee you can go to the gym and lose weight…you can’t go to the gym and gain height…so it’s not comparable in the slightest

[petitedollbabee]

@JHAYES317 Okay.. again.. what is your point? You felt a need to respond to my opinion with that, so you must have had a point?

[JHAYES317]

@petitedollbabee my point is having a type is less problematic when it’s things that can be changed without surgery (weight, butt size, hair color, tattoos, piercings etc) as opposed to things that can’t be changed without surgery (height, baldness, boob size, dick size etc)

[HawkPerception]

@JHAYES317 and you're free to have that opinion man. But don't try forcing it on others.

The sad truth of reality is that some people have won the genetic lottery and are much more attractive than others. Both men and women are attracted to others with good genetics.

By your logic, it's wrong to prefer someone that has model features to someone that has down syndrome features and that's just not reality. It doesn't mean that we judge someone solely on their looks, but physical attraction is a thing, even if it's something you're born with.

[JHAYES317]

@HawkPerception When did I say you couldn’t find certain people more attractive than others? All I said was if YOU YOURSELF are ugly, you have no business expecting a pretty woman. Or like if a girl is short, she has no business wanting a tall guy. You have to meet your own standards…you can’t want something that you yourself can’t possibly live up to.

[HawkPerception]

@JHAYES317 Sorry. I read a snippet and took some of what you said out of context. You're correct in one aspect.

Weight is not comparable to height because it's something you can change by exercising. Even boob size is affected by your overall weight.

However, while they're not comparable, it's not wrong to prefer someone for their height and it's also not wrong to prefer someone for their weight. It doesn't matter whether it's something you're born with or not.

[petitedollbabee]

@HawkPerception Absolutely, couldn’t have said it better myself. There is no right or wrong when it comes to preferences, we’re all allowed to have them. Height or weight included.

[JHAYES317]

@petitedollbabee I never say you couldn’t…just that having height as a dealbreaker is more shallow

[HawkPerception]

@JHAYES317 But it's not shallow

[JHAYES317]

@HawkPerception excluding people due to things out of their control is by definition shallow

[HawkPerception]

@JHAYES317 Everyone has preferences and standards. Would you date someone that looks like a frog? It was since birth that they had that face. You need to stop calling people shallow for having whatever taste they have.

[JHAYES317]

@HawkPerception…if I looked like a frog myself sure. I call people shallow for having standards they themselves don’t meet…if a girl is pretty she isn’t shallow for wanting a handsome man…but if she’s ugly then she would be…see what I mean?

[OlderAndWiser]

Thinking of that as "shallow" would imply that I made a conscious decision to be particularly attracted to a certain type of woman, and I never consciously made that choice. I don't know where it came from but I have had the same type since I reached puberty.

"Shallow" would be refusing to date anyone who did not fit your type. My fiancee does not fit my type at all but I am very happy with her!

[coachTanthony]

Having a type is a good start. Still need to vet the person properly though. Also always good to stray at times from your type to see what else might catch your eyes and ears.

[AviatorTom]

Not at all, we all have preferences, whether that be for a movie, a glass of wine, or a member of the opposite sex.

[handsomelad70]

My movie preference is a flick full of buxom blondes.

[Aishakaba]

It's nothing wrong with having a type. At the end of the day I believe no relationship is going to work if you're not attracted to the person. Now that doesn't necessarily have to be a physical thing. You may not be attracted to the person at first but their personality overshadowed the looks and now you think he/she is the hottest thing working. My point is attraction is key to a healthy relationship. Is nothing wrong with having a preference or type. People just be mad when they not in that category. Which is weird cuz if you're not his/her type why do you even care he/she should be yours either. On to the next

[Aishakaba]

*walking

[Screenwriter]

Sometimes it happens accidentally.

I've always. liked dark, curly-haired modest height men. Have only gone out with two guys like this. The rest were tall blondish types and my guess is this is because THEY were attracted to me and I simply went with the flow. So ultimately, my tastes changed since my experience was these kinds of guys appeared to be attracted to me, so I became more attracted to them!

[Apple1996]

Definitely I could never be with a guy that has a type. That just screams he's a insecure asshole.(by the way even if I was 100% his type I'd still feel that way about it). Love is suppose to be blind. Not about being picky and choosey about looks.

If the type is just personality thing or how the person acts then that's fine cuz those are things that we can sometimes not deal with long term so that is understandable

[Inbox]

Attraction is both physical and psychological. Having standards doesn't mean he's insecure.

[Apple1996]

@Inbox it means he ain't in it for love... and I want no part in a relationship unless it's for a loving lasting relationship

[Apple1996]

@Inbox also a lot of times it's the most insecure people that are judgmental about looks

[AmyHew1tt]

I mean, shallow or not, people are going to have things they're attracted to, and things they're not. I have a pretty rigid type, that I haven't had any luck deviating from, which of course is unfortunate and annoying, and might make me shallow in some people's eyes. People also sometimes confuse types and preferences. I believe preferences are more flexible. For me, preferences are chosen, and types are what's attractive. Again, I've never been able to change that.

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt Well you are also 19, so give it time

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Honestly, my type has only become more rigid with time

[JHAYES317]

@AmyHew1tt well if you can find enough guys who meet your type then why not…but if not, maybe consider why you have some of those requirements…are they societally influenced or your own biological impulses?

[AmyHew1tt]

@JHAYES317 Yeah, it's interesting, because I'm not sure. I try to stay away from social media influence, for my self-image alone, but what I'm attracted to is definitely higher end. Attraction is personal of course, so the guys I find attractive, plenty of women aren't into, and vice versa.

[Hardshell1234]

No, not shallow. It’s a preference for what you find attractive. That being said, there are always exceptions to my “rules”.

[ChiTown33]

I think it depends to what extreme. If your "type" eliminates 90% of the opposite gender then I'd say you're too shallow. There's still nothing wrong with it though so long as you don't complain that your dating pool is small. Because you CHOSE to eliminate 90% of the opposite gender. I just don't know why someone would want to write off 90% of people like that.

[Justneedtokno]

We all have our preferences, or this certain attraction to us hyper person, but it is up to us to explore other things to understand ourselves about other likes and dislikes to be open and then shut off if it really isn’t your preference

[4ngelic]

no litterally everyone on earth has a type. it's only shallow if it's way too narrow and you can't get that with your own looks

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s not shallow to have a type. It’s shallow to date nothing but your type if your type is based solely on physical appearance

[Joshydavid25]

Personality wise? No..

Physically? Yeah, if you insist on it and are not opened to others. it's pretty shallow.. If it's just a loose preference, then not so much..

[Genie23]

You took the words right out of my mouth

[Joshydavid25]

@Genie23 😎👉..

[handsomelad70]

Most people's "type" is racially or ethnically similar.

[Joshydavid25]

@handsomelad70 Of course, and it mostly has to do with familiarity, and culture.. Not so much the phenotype..

[ProbablyClueless]

It's not shallow if you're connecting with who the person is, rather than the set of features they possess.

[FreyaRed]

No. There are some positive type, some are anti-types and others are stereotypes. The pool of types I like is big enough to pick out who I want.

[marriecarlson]

no, it’s something that you can’t really control. we can choose who we want to be friends with and who we associate ourselves with, but we CANNOT choose who we catch feelings for.

[JHAYES317]

@marriecarlson actually you can…sometimes you can have a toxic pattern of only going for guys of the bad boy variety for example and you can change that through psychotherapy

[MushyKiwi]

I don't think so, my friends all state that I have a type.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Nope, a type is basically what you like, it's not shallow to like something specific

[StudyingAuthor]

I can't help being shallow... I have to have a french handsome guy. I have many years in my future to find that guy.

[rosemilk]

no. and if you don't have a type, you're seen as easy. so really, no one can win in this argument

[NathanDavis]

nope... just a strong preference

and your "type" might not be based on shallow preferences either, but more substantial ones

[CuriousMufuxka]

Not at all. The deep comes in getting to know and maintaining that relationship for the long haul.