https://youtu.be/6ccwvhmiezQ?si=0QJZyJhfp0QG_6Fr
I'm definitely the 3rd type. If I don't feel appreciated, I'm ready to walk away.
https://youtu.be/6ccwvhmiezQ?si=0QJZyJhfp0QG_6Fr
I'm definitely the 3rd type. If I don't feel appreciated, I'm ready to walk away.
I just don't get jealous, it seems. There were times like in school when I liked a girl very much and she ended up dating another guy, often even one of my acquaintances.
I was disappointed but I figured it's for the best. The other guy might be a better match for her than me as well. I'll never know since we never had a relationship together.
I didn't see the need to avoid her or her new boyfriend. Instead I just focused on liking other girls after that. Then if I got a new girlfriend, I start hanging out with my former crush and her boyfriend together with my girlfriend and we all have a good time. Usually I end up becoming good friends with my former crush's boyfriend and we all become friends in the end.
That was case for example with the girl of Indian descent on my cover page together with her husband. I really liked her initially and even sketched her portrait when I first met her in a bar, like this:
I thought she looked like a Disney character with her big eyes and sweet (sometimes mischievous) look. She also had the most expressive facial expressions like this:
Unfortunately after asking her out, she turned me down saying she only dates Hindu guys. So we became best friends instead and hung out all the time together while she dated other guys and I dated other girls.
Later she invited me to a picnic and introduced me to a new woman. That woman would become my wife. Then we all became friends and later she met her husband and now we're all friends.
So I just started focusing on other girls. I don't show extra affection, don't see the guy she's with as my rival (I'm glad she found a guy that makes her happy and hope to become his friend), don't avoid her. I just end the crush and start liking new ones.
I never understood people who say, "You can't control who you love." Of course we can. If there's anything we can control, it's that, along with what music we love, what foods we love, etc. It's all within our control. So I used that self-control to love others when my crush became interested in someone else.
Aww... lovely story. That's nice. A programmer can draw too? Awesome! Frankly, I think we should learn about the person first before give ourselves to them 100%. When it didn't turn out as you imagined, you're disappointed. You need to have time to internalize your true feelings. To let an attraction control you, then you trap your crush with that is not okay.
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In my case, I rarely fall for a man at first, mostly they flirted with me. Saying they're interested. When I started to like them back, Tada! They dated other women at the same time. Some were already in a relationship. That's why I have to move on. 🥲
Ouch! I had a tendency to grow my emotional investment towards a woman when it was reciprocated. So before dating, only very mild crush. Then over dating, slightly stronger interest and attachment. Then as we became exclusive, strong interest and attachment. Then if we got engaged to be married, now I'm dreaming and setting a real goal of spending the rest of our lives together.
So I usually never got too disappointed as a result except one time when an ex from my 20s broke up with me after we got engaged to be married. That was brutal and took me a very long time to recover.
On the drawing part, I'm actual a dual major in CompSci and VisArts. I've never been all that great of an artist but it's been a lifelong interest of mine and the main reason I got into programming was to design and make video games, which initially started out from drawing my ideas for how a hypothetical video game would look like. Then learned how to code and make pixel art as well as music on the keyboard like this (part of a soundtrack for a cyberpunk game I was working on): https://voca.ro/1aO6XoxgoqY9
I'm a bit all over that place with my hobbies: stereotypical ENFP. 😅 Mostly I like to create things in a variety of media and video games seemed like a way to combine it all together.
Also liked to make little rearrangements of video game soundtracks, like this one from Princess Tomato:
youtu.be/WM6Su13ipBM?list=PL3F5551140442CB6A
Tried to make it a bit less repetitive and add some new parts.
https://voca.ro/14NQ9KiGZopM
Although I still tend to like the original better than mine.
I don't crush on people... I'm not jealous like that either
I tackle him and say pay attention to me.
It works. I definitely get their attention
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