Why does my boyfriend keep messing with my feelings?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend haven’t been together very long maybe like 1 month or so, but I feel like us getting into petty arguments isn’t normal and usually it’s usually him that gets mad at me. I’ve tried to talk it through with him asking if I did anything wrong and usually we talk it through but there was this one day we got into a petty argument and he said “I’ll call you later your being a brat” and “ you know you didn’t make me feel happy today”. I apologized for what I did after but it’s just so weird how I apologize for what I did but when he does the same thing to me there’s nothing wrong. Then a few weeks later I’m going the beach with some friends because I really needed it that day and tell him there’s gonna be 2 guys there and tell him everything about where I’m gonna be, who the people are and then straight after he said he’s fine and asks me if he could go to this huge college party with his old friends where he would get blacked out drunk. And part of me was like if he could trust me than I could trust him but the two things we were going to was completely different. Me and my friends don’t drink or go to parties, so I was so iffy about it, eventually he said he didn’t go. So I call him when I get home before I go to the beach but I was crying from something my mom said to me and the build up from him telling me about the party and stuff but I didn’t tell him that part. But when I call him he tells me he’s high and he ate an edible which he says he doesn’t like weed and proceeds to tell me it makes him feel so good, and even better than when I give head. Everything that day just kept making me feel worse and worse. So I started crying, right after he tells me he was joking and he didn’t take anything. But my issue is he’s always trying to get a reaction out of me and I’ve just got tired of it because it’s so confusing. Why does he keep messing with me and my feelings that’s all I need to know.

[RavVid]

Look we have all got complex machinery under the bonnet - a lot of which we ourselves don't understand. So it is not surprising others don't necessarily comprehend.

Some of it might be a different sense of humor. An edible that makes you feel better than head might be a funny concept to him. Other jibes for a reaction might be sourced in humor too. Or be more ill intended. You might be more sensitive than other people he has known. It is a thing between guys to take shots at each other.

Look I think a good question to ask when disharmony arises is "What would a good girlfriend/boyfriend have done?". That gives you a chance of moderating behavior that is aggravating to a partner. If you both ask that question and modify it is going to be more harmonious.

I am pretty convinced it is minor things that cause petty arguments. Those petty annoyances build up from an ant mound into a mole hill and end up as Mt Everest. I've noticed that couples develop short cuts into arguments. One word and they are both bristling.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Blokes who do that are all about wanting power over women! I'm sorry because I hate telling people they should break up, but in this case? The longer you stay with him the more you are going to be under his thumb..
If you think you deserve better? You aren't alone.. Nobody deserves that treatment.

If you leave him, watch how he will beg you to come back and say he "will never take you for granted again." He will do the same thing though. ..
Guys like that need a slap of reality in their lives before they know how to treat women! BUT and this is the KEY thing. You are not strong enough to teach him how to treat you, he is going to have to date a real heartless biitch before he learns the error of his ways. And I'm sorry. but I can see from your text, that isn't you!

[Horse-girl]

He doesn't sound very mature, it seems like he just likes getting a reaction out of you. It doesn't sound like a very fun or healthy relationship to be honest I'm afraid, maybe try and tell him you don't appreciate what he's doing and it's making you feel unhappy and if he doesn't stop then maybe think about whether you want to continue the relationship. Good luck! 😊

[TommyMountainFigure]

In a perfect world yes I agree with you, but this world isn't perfect, and he is going to severely damage her well being if she stays with him! The only time he will show remorse is when she leaves. And even then, it will only be for a little while.

[Horse-girl]

@TommyMountainFigure definitely it's just I know it would be hard to leave someone you genuinely love so talking about it with him could help you to realise he's not good for you, I don't know if that really makes sense.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It does. yes. I just hope she can be strong enough to do what has to be done!

[Horse-girl]

@TommyMountainFigure I hope so too, that's not a very nice situation to be in.

[IslaTheWitch]

it's very toxic what he does. Talk to him and set clear boundaries - define unacceptable behaviors. If it doesn't work - consider breaking up. It's not healthy nor helping you in any way to stay in such a relationship

[HighValue]

He is too immature for a relationship. I wouldn't recommend staying with someone like that.

If the 2 guys where you were going aren't in a relationship with the other girls going, then you shouldn't be going without your boyfriend when in a relationship.

I hope those two pieces of advice are helpful.

[Truthatanycost]

As usual... asking all of the wrong questions. The only question is why you are still with him, and why you are putting your mouth anywhere near him!

I only believe in a drama free life. Maybe it's time you started doing the same. No one is worth any of this nonsense...

[glennos89]

If he loves the feeling of getting high more then then the feeling of you giving him head he is definitely a guy you wanne dump asap! Nothing beats the feeling of your girl giving you head 💯

[lorenzomichael]

No that's not normal. Maybe he's just immature. He sounds like a jackass though. Good thing you only have wasted a month maybe you should look for a new boyfriend. There's are other guys that won't play them type of games. Good luck.

[Jay-_-]

What did you do for him to say that, I would never call my heart a "brat" unless I'm genuinely joking and I'll make it clear as day that I'm joking. What did you do?

[Asker]

I’m not sure exactly why he called me a brat but we were watching something together and every time a guy would come he just kept asking if I found them attractive and I kept just saying no over and over again because no guy compares to him and how he makes me feel. But eventually i just got annoyed because he kept asking me that so I just went silent and stopped talking as much. He asked me what was wrong and i brushed it off saying “it was fine”. But than i guess i was silent for too long and he said “I know something’s wrong and your being a brat right now”.

[Jay-_-]

Look, do as you please, but nah that's messed up, I hope you get treated as you deserve eventually, by him or someone else. Take care 🙏🏼

[Asker]

Thank you I appreciate that

[Jay-_-]

🙏🏼

[TacosRAwesome]

You've only been with this man for a month and he's already giving you so much bullshit. Probably time to move on.

[Anonymous]

Why does a dog lick it's balls? Because it can.

Stop giving a reaction or better yet respond with sarcasm. That's what I'd do.

[DreamLife7]

HE doesn't LIKE YOU AND you're NOT you're NOT HIS girlfriend. LIKE GIRL BRAIN CELLS WHERE ARE U? LOL

[ProbablyClueless]

Because he's immature

[strateguy632]

this isn't working dump him.

[laly520]

BREAK UP

[In_Trance]

Because you let him

[RANDOMGUY2323]

Cuz he's bored